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Picture of the Week. Calories In (Chocolate) vs. Calories Out (Walking). Makes Perfect Sense.

The picture above was sent to me last week from a reader of my blog who wanted to share with me what he found in one of the treadmills at the facility where he works. Those shiny, purple doohickeys to the right are empty Chocolate Kisses wrappers. Cause you know, walking on the treadmill while watching The Price is Right is pretty draining. How much you wanna bet that this same individual also downed a bottle of Gatorade beforehand, and then strolled over to the local Starbucks afterwards and ordered a croissant with what-ever-it-is-that-people-order-when-they-feel-obligated-to-reward-themselves-for-exercising-frappuccino. With a Diet Coke, of course. Logic at it’s best.

And now, because I’m lacking in any proper segue whatsoever- here’s some treadmill pwnage for your viewing pleasure. Enjoy……

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Exercises You Should Be Doing: Prone DB Slide

What Is It: Prone DB Slide

Who Did I Steal It From: this exercise is very similar to prone plate switches that I “stole” from strength coach Will Heffernan, but I was able to come up with this bad boy myself as I was showing a friend a few exercises at a commercial gym a few weeks ago.

What Does It Do: We all know how much I despise planks (at least in the general sense), and that I’d rather swallow a live grenade than have my clients do them for any length of time. Granted, there are extenuating circumstances- namely for those clients dealing with lower back pain. In this case, they’re almost a necessity, as Dr. Stuart McGill has pointed out on numerous occasions. However, if someone is paying good money for an hour of my time, and they’re otherwise “healthy,” I can think of more productive things to do than having them plank for ten minutes at a time. Passing a kidney stone comes to mind.

Be that as it may, as much as I like to downplay the efficacy of planks, I recognize that they are a valuable tool in regards to developing proper lumbo-pelvic-hip stabilization, as well as teaching trainees how to engage their core musculature. As such, while many strength coaches and trainers like to have their clients go for time, I prefer to make planks more challenging.

Key Coaching Cues: Assume the prone plank position (elbows and toes, chin tucked). Grab a 5-10 lb dumbbell, and simply “slide” it across the floor, as demonstrated in the video. Squeeze the glutes, brace your abs, and try not to hike or dip the hips. In other words, the spine should be in a “neutral” position throughout the duration of the movement. Shoot for 5-6 reps per side for 2-3 sets.

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Organic vs. Kind of Organic vs. Wait, I’m Confused.

Unless you’ve been living under a rock for the past decade, you’ve probably noticed that “organics” has been the fasting growing market in our food system for quite some time. So much in fact, that even the big boys such as Target (or Targe` for those who are walking bags of douche and can’t pronounce it correctly) and Wal-Mart (aka not Target) have welcomed the trend with open arms; recognizing that the public, to a vast degree, is starting to demand higher quality food. As such, walk into either store and you’ll undoubtedly come across an “organic” section. Granted, by walking into said establishments, a little piece of your soul will die, but it’s nice to see nonetheless.

Understandably, whether or not organic food is nutritionally superior to “conventional” food is a highly debatable premise. However, given the recent trend of movies such as Food, Inc, as well as a multitude of books/articles/smackdowns from the likes of Michael Pollan, Eric Schlosser, and company, it’s getting increasing more arduous, at least in my eyes, to not only deny the fact that our food quality bites the big one, but that the typical cheap, Western diet (refined sugar, flour, less fruits and veggies, I heart twinkies) that Americans have been ingesting for the past several decades is the culprit of many of the issues affecting our health, and the planet’s as well.

To illustrate my point more succinctly, here’s a snidbit from an article titled Organics-Healthy Food, And So Much More, written by Gary Hirshberg:

All of humanity ate organic food until the early part of the twentieth century, yet we’ve been on a chemical binge diet for about eighty years- an eye blink in the planetary history- and what do we have to show for it? We’ve lost one-third of America’s original topsoil; buried toxic waste everywhere; and polluted and depleted water systems, worsened global warming, and exacerbated ailments ranging from cancer to diabetes to obesity.

Pretty cut and dry if you ask me.

Nevertheless, this isn’t to say that just because something says it’s organic, that it’s inherently better, or better for us. Leigh Peele actually touched on this topic in episode 11 of her podcast (she discusses her thoughts on Food, Inc), and I commend her for her honesty and matter-of-factness going against the grain.

As with anything, once corporate America gets it’s dirty paws on it, the water gets murky. Take for example the fact that it wasn’t until 2002 that Congress passed a federal law mandating that the U.S Department of Agriculture (USDA) to create a single set of nationwide standards. As a result, we now have three levels of organic food. You didn’t really think it was as simple as something being organic or not organic did you?

100% Organic– is exactly what it states, and refers to food and fibers that are indeed produced organically at every step, from farm to store shelf.

Organic– requires that at least 95% of the product’s ingredients are organic, with the remaining five percent strictly limited to ingredients on USDA’s National List of Allowable and Prohibited Materials. Question- can we add Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt to that prohibited materials list? Jesus, if any two people deserve to be thrown into a shark’s mouth, it’s these two.

Made with Organics– means that at least 70% of the product’s ingredients are organic. The other 30%? I have no idea.

In short, read labels! Just because something says it’s “organic” doesn’t mean that’s the case. Mostly.

UPDATE: Shazam! That’s five in five days. Who’s going to Ponderosa tonight? Me, that’s who.

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5×5, And Just an FYI: This is FOUR Days In a Row. Someone Give Me Some Credit

Q: I’ve heard many interpretations of 5×5. Some say to start with a 5RM and then lower the weight so you can keep doing 5 rep sets. Others say to stick with the same weight and just do as many reps as you can with it for all 5 sets. Even still, others go with the Waterburian (how’s that for a new word!) idea of getting all 25 reps with the same weight no matter how many sets it takes. What would be the Gentilcorian (I’m on a roll) rejoinder?

TG: Gentilcorian, eh? It almost sounds like an era. It makes sense really. I mean, any great “era” needs to be recognized. Take for example the Victorian Era, which was marked by it’s prosperity in culture, entertainment, and the homemaking roles of women. The Gentilcorian Era is very similiar in that it too recognizes the greatness in culture (I’m the master at passing the Grey Poupon), entertainment (Louie DeVito is our generations Mozart), and the homemaking roles of women (Ma, meatloaf! On my plate. Ten minutes. Stat!). It’s uncanny really.

However, getting back on task….when most people think of 5×5, they typically think of Bill Starr’s original program. While it’s a great program, and has gotten plenty of people strong(er); like any strength training program/template, it does have it’s limitations. And while I could easily sit here and dissect every nook and cranny (lack of single leg work for example), the truth of the matter is, if more trainees followed this type of program they’d probably make infinitely better progress in the gym. I mean, it’s kinda hard to knock a program that emphasizes compound movements and putting more weight on the bar.

As it is, when I write programs for clients, I love using the 5×5 set/rep scheme. Anytime I can get someone out of the three sets of ten mentality, I am all for it. However, how I program 5×5 depends on the client/athlete:

Complete Newbie/Beginner: Every set counts. I don’t care if we’re starting with just the bar, it’s going to count as a set. Likewise, I’m not really too concerned about how much weight we’re putting on the bar- so much as I am making sure we’re ingraining proper form and technique. It’s been shown in research that un-trained individuals can get a training effect from as little as 40% of their 1RM (rep max). Needless to say, loading a beginner isn’t my first priority.

Intermediate (which coincidentally is where most of my readers tend to be): I’d just be happy with them not missing any lifts. One of my biggest pet peeves as a strength coach is guys missing lifts. Granted, I understand it happens, but it shouldn’t be a weekly thing- contrary to what you’ve been lead to believe. That said, when I say 5 reps, I really mean 3-5 reps. Ideally, I want you to get all 25 reps. But if you do something like:

Set 1: 315×5

Set 2: 315×5

Set 3: 315×5

Set 4: 315×4

Set 5: 315×3

Then that’s cool. Rather than do 1-2 crappy reps on those last two sets, I’d rather you just cut the set short. This isn’t necessarily “missing a lift” so much as it is being smart and not hurting yourself. The following training session you would try to get those reps back:

Set 1: 315×5

Set 2: 315×5

Set 3: 315 x5

Set 4: 315 x5

Set 5: 315 x4

In this example, I’d encourage the trainee to just keep using 315 as their “work weight” until they actually complete all 25 reps. Once they achieve that, then they can bump the weight up 10-20 lbs and start all over again.

Advanced (which coincidentally you’re not if you can’t bench press at least 1.5x your bodyweight, deadlift 2x your bodyweight, and squat 2x your bodyweight. Curling in the squat rack just means you’re a major tool. And if you’re one of those guys who carries a water jug around with you while you train, you’re an uber tool): Here we can be a little more creative, and I’d direct you to Dan John’s 5×5 Variations article. However, in all honesty, for a more advanced trainee, 5×5 isn’t going to cut it, and I’d be more inclined to follow something along the lines of what I described in my Rule of 90% article.

General Random Thoughts- because I didn’t know where in the hell to put this in the blog post

1. Seriously, don’t miss any lifts*.

2. In the case of this post, I am not referring to an actual 5×5 program- for that click on Bill Starr link above. Rather, I’m referring to the main movement of the day. For example if I have someone following a three day per week, full body split, each day is going to start with a “main movement” (for lack of a better term):

Monday- deadlift emphasis (5×5), followed by some extra ass-kickery.

Wednesday- bench emphasis (5×5). I know, I know- I realize it’s blasphemy not to bench on Monday, but deal with it. Actually, if you really want to turn your world upside down, instead of a bench variation, why not go with chin-ups or pull-ups? Come on, live life dangerously.

Friday- squat emphasis (5×5), followed by ass-kickery and eating lots of dead animal flesh.

3. Don’t be that guy that does 5×5 for stupid shit like lateral raises, leg extensions, or leg curls. It’s dumb and a complete waste of time.

4. Completely off topic, but would anyone be interested in trade bartering services? I’d be willing to write your programs, if you’d be willing to do some website work for me. In a nutshell, I get girls (or guys) to want to hang out with you, and you help me set up/organize my new website. If anyone’s interested, please contact me via email.

* In case you’re not picking up what I’m putting down: DON’T MISS ANY LIFTS!!!!

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Stuff I’ve Read, Am Reading, Or Going to Read.

Just so you know, I DID post a blog yesterday. Granted it was a little late in the day, but it happened. If there’s one thing about me you should know, is that I’m a man of my word. If I say I’m going to do something, I do it. Except, of course, if it involves taking a yoga class. Lets be honest, I’d rather clean all the bathrooms in Grand Central Station with my tongue than take a yoga class. Nonetheless, here it is, day #3 on my quest to blog every day this week, and all of you who doubted me can suck on a pink dumbbell!

1. The Whole Foods Alternative to ObamaCare– By John Mackey

As I’ve stated in the past, one of my favorite talk show radio hosts in Michele McPhee, and her Outrages of the Day. Last week, on my way home from CP, she was discussing this article (linked above) written by the CEO of Whole Foods, John Mackey. In a nutshell, he feels that people should be held accountable for their own health, which includes yes, eating better quality foods (i.e. shop at Whole Foods). Predictably, people got their panties all up in a bunch and called for a boycott of Whole Foods. Huh? So, the Scottish government can release a terrorist who’s dying from prostate cancer out of “compassion”, and we don’t bat an eye. But someone writes an opinion piece telling people to quit being a-holes and eat some healthy food, and we’re going to protest? Unreal.

2. Born to Run– Christopher McDougall

I’m actually listening to this book on cd, but it still counts as reading in my book. How is it that the Tarahumara Indians of Mexico can run what’s equivalent to twelve marathons back-to-back-to-back-to-back-to-back-to-back (I think you get the point) without blinking an eye, let alone getting a shin split, then do it again…….tomorrow; yet the average American can’t jog more than two miles without looking like one of the zombies from Thriller? Spoiler Alert: it’s in the shoes.

3. Getting Real About the High Price of Cheap Food– by Bryan Walsh

Following the leads of books such as The Omnivore’s Dilemma and Fast Food Nation, this article discusses the many advantages of sustainable farming, and how corporate America has done a remarkable job at hiding the real truth behind the food we eat. On an aside, it’s nice to see Time make up for the atrocity of an article they published a few weeks ago. I hate them a little less this morning.

4. Strong Women Strength Train– Adam Rees

I like any article that tells women to lift heavy shit. Furthermore, I like any article that includes pictures of Jennifer Stano- nice work Adam! Might as well keep a good thing going…………………..BAM!

5. Understanding Your Abs– Mike Robertson

Mike wrote this a few months ago in his newsletter (you should sign up for it by the way), and it’s hands down one of the best articles explaining the functional anatomy of the “core.” Do yourself a favor- the next time someone asks you why you don’t do crunches- tell them they’re as useless as a screen door on a submarine, and hand them this article.

UPDATE: Ka-POW!!!!

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One Man, One Mission: To Blog Everyday This Week- Even If This Post Goes Up After Most People Have Left Work Already

First off, I want to thank the handful of people who took time out of their 18th update on Facebook work day to remind me to blog today. I’m actually not at CP at the moment. Instead, I took the day off and filled it with all sorts of fun activities, such as catching up on client emails, listening to the latest episode of In the Trenches Fitness, doing some grocery shopping, deadlifting 500 lbs for a double…..twice, taking my car to the car wash, and watching episodes of The Deadliest Warrior on Spike tv. It’s pretty much the greatest show ever invented. You know, besides Charles in Charge of course. Yep, you know you watched it too back in the day. Don’t even try to pretend that you didn’t cut out every Nicole Eggert picture you could find from your sister’s Teen Beat magazine stash and plaster them all over your bedroom walls. We’ve all been there, dude. Just admit it. It’s okay.

Anyways, after having watched a few episodes, I can’t help but wonder- “who would win in a battle royale between William Wallace, an F-16 fighter jet, Swine Flu, and my abs?” Discuss…….

Secondly, here’s reason # infinity on why CP is more bad-ass than your gym:

How much do you deadlift?

The quote above was taken from a conversation/smack talking session between two of our high school baseball players while they were training yesterday. Almost brings a tear to my eye.

Lastly, anyone who reads my blog or articles, knows how much I like to preach the importance of training environment. In short, surround yourself with like minded individuals who will not only push you, but also hold you accountable (i.e. call you a girly man when you miss a lift), and the likelihood that you’ll get leaner, stronger, faster (or whatever your goals may be) increases ten-fold. As such, every few months we get a fresh batch of interns that make their way to CP to not only learn as much as they can, but to also experience hands on, individualized coaching with a variety of clientele ranging from professional athletes to general fat-loss clients. Not coincidentally, all of our interns get a helluva lot stronger during their stay.

Take for instance, Roger (who you may already know from is hazing earlier this summer). When he started with us back in June, Roger’s best bench press was 275 lbs. Here he making a smoke show of 300 lbs:

And here’s 315 for the heck of it:

That’s a 40 lb PR in a matter of three months. Nice work Roger! This DEFINITELY “ain’t no game” (sorry, inside joke everyone). Somewhere out there, Kevin Larrabee’s ego just got pwned.