What’s Worse: Eggs or Men’s Figure Skating?

Share This:

Anyone who’s read my blog for any length of time knows that I’m a huge fan of Trader Joe’s. Likewise, anyone who’s read my blog for any length of time knows that I’m not a huge fan of ignorant cashiers who feel the need to make comments about what’s in my cart.

I’ve touched on this in the past, but I’d go so far as to say that roughly 75% of the time, I can’t go through the checkout line without someone making a comment about how many eggs I buy.

As an example, not too long ago, an elderly woman went on some lengthy diatribe about how I need to curtail how many eggs I eat because of their iron content. Apparently her father suffered from some disease (the name escapes me at the moment) which she attributed to the fact that he ate 1-2 whole eggs per day.

Coincidentally, one egg constitutes roughly 5% of your daily requirement of iron. In short, you need to eat a lot of eggs in order for them to have any significant impact on iron in your blood. I’m not saying it isn’t anything to think about. Rather, I’m just keeping it real.

Similarly, just the other night, I had another instance where the check out person felt the need to demonstrate their concern over my health. It went a little something like this:

Me: Hey, what’s up?

Cashier (in downtrodden voice): Meh, tired.

Me (thinking to myself, “this should be fun. The checkout guy is clinically depressed”): Sorry to hear that. Well, the store will be closing soon, so that’s something to look forward to.

Johnny Raincloud: Yeah, I suppose. (Fast forward anywhere from 20-60 seconds). WOW, what do you do with all these eggs?

Me (sigh): I eat them.

Johnny Raincloud: Huh, aren’t you worried about your cholesterol?

Me: Actually, believe it or not, there’s little evidence to show that dietary cholesterol has little (if any) affect on blood cholesterol levels.

(Crickets chirping)

Johnny Raincloud: So, uh, when’s the last time you had your cholesterol checked?

I don’t know why, but at that moment, all I could think about was that scene in GoodFellas when Joe Pesci’s character, Tommy, has some words with Billy Batts.

NOTE: If you consider someone getting punched in the face repeatedly with a gun NSFW, then this is NSFW.

NOTE II: There might be a f-bomb here and there, too. It’s GoodFellas for crying out loud!

Suffice it to say, I obviously didn’t do anything that drastic. But I won’t lie and say that I wasn’t a little pissed. First off, it’s none of his business when the last time I got my cholesterol checked was. Secondly, he didn’t seem too concerned about the person ahead of me who had nothing but boxed macaroni-n-cheese, chips, ice-cream, and other forms of junk in their cart. Nope. All of sudden, the health food police come out when someone has the nerve to buy more than three cartons of eggs. Three bags of Doritos, though, completely normal.

Here’s what I’m thinking. The next time I go grocery shopping, I’m going to be prepared. If (rather, when) a cashier says something to me, I’m going to complete my transaction and walk straight over to the manager’s station and slap some reading material on their desk. Namely………..

Research which shows that eggs increase HDL- the good stuff- (but not LDL), albeit in low(er) carbohydrate diets.


Even more research which showcases that egg consumption improves cholesterol (specifically raises HDL levels and reduces the ratio of total cholesterol to HDL) in healthy adults


Research demonstrating that egg consumption and cholesterol intake have little impact on CHD (Coronary Heart Disease) risk in the majority of people.

this and this, and this.


Similarly, here is an interesting study which questions the “wisdom” (note sarcasm) of recommending that all Americans should replace dietary saturated fat with carbohydrates. Yeah, that worked out well.

And, because I piss excellence, here’s a little STFU to drive the point home.

I don’t know, I just think it’s high time for people to wake up and realize that eggs aren’t, you know, bad for you. Of course, the picture changes if someone has a pre-existing condition, or a family history of CHD. By and large, however, eggs are a nutritional powerhouse. In his book The 150 Healthiest Foods on Earth, Jonny Bowden expounds on the many benefits of eggs, as does several other well known experts in the field. Matter of fact, I’m pretty sure a baby seal dies every time someone throws away an egg yolk or substitutes with Egg Beaters*.

NOTE III: Just wanted to give a little thanks to Brian St. Pierre for commiserating with me on this and for being gracious enough to send me links to the above studies.

*Sorry, no scientific evidence to back that up. But who needs Pubmed when it’s true?

Did what you just read make your day? Ruin it? Either way, you should share it with your friends and/or comment below.

Share This Post:


Plus, get a copy of Tony’s Pick Things Up, a quick-tip guide to everything deadlift-related. See his butt? Yeah. It’s good. You should probably listen to him if you have any hope of getting a butt that good.

I don’t share email information. Ever. Because I’m not a jerk.

Comments for This Entry

Leave a Comment