Miscellaneous Miscellany Monday (I meant to post this yesterday, I suck)

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1. I was perusing a back issue of Men’s Health the other day and came across a section titled “Guy List.” In this particular issue the list described “15 Must-See Sights,” and one in particular caught my attention.

A Predator in Midhunt: a fox will stare motionlessly at a mouse den for many minutes, just to bring dinner home. Shouldn’t you put more effort into your meals than choosing a number 3? Takeout is not a survival strategy, it’s a slow passage to death and laziness.

I couldn’t agree more with the above sentiment. It never ceases to amaze me how lazy people are when it comes to their nutrition. They’ll be meticulous about changing their car’s oil every 3000 miles and only using high grade gasoline to enhance its performance; yet many won’t think twice about the fuel they put into their own body. Weird.

If time is an issue, get up earlier in the morning to prepare your meals. If you’re in your car all day, buy a small cooler and store your food. If you’re stuck in an office all day, do what I do and go kill a deer on your lunch break and make your own venison jerky to bring to work. Quit making excuses and get it done.

2. We made our interns dress up for Halloween, cause we’re a-holes like that. Originally we wanted both Kevin and Chris to dress up as the Ambiguously Gay Duo (Ace and Gary), but figured that may come across as a bit overboard. So obviously the next best option was to dress Kevin up as a Hooters chick, which basically gave me nightmares for the past three days.

3. Also, this is just a personal message to Jen from the Saugus, MA Hooters located on Rt. 1 (where Pete and I drove to the night beforehand get Kevin’s Hooters outfit).

Dearest Jen,

First off, I just want to say the Cobb salad that I ordered was absolutely delicious. I would expect nothing more from such a well regarded establishment. Personally I would have added a bit more chicken, but whatever. Anyways Jen, you weren’t my waitress, and we actually didn’t speak to one another. However, I’m preeeetty sure you wanted me. I saw how you were looking at me as you were taking those nachos to table four. You looked really, um, smart in that pink whatchamacallit outfit. Except replace “smart” with OMG boobies!!!! If you ever want to get together to discuss menu options, glute medius function and how it relates to anterior knee pain, or I don’t know, kittens, just e-mail me at totallynotgoingtostalkyou@yahoo.com. TTYS. XOXOXOXO.


3. Now let me preface this by saying that I have nothing against fat loss programs. There are plenty of programs out there that I like and I have used several with great success with various clients of mine. That being said, I’m so sick of people doing fat loss programs for months on end. Granted we’re in the midst of an obesity pandemic, and I understand that fat loss programs are a necessity for many people. However, I’m sorry, there are times where I feel they’re overrated and people place too much emphasis on them. I touched on this in my training log last week, but here’s my take:

*Lift heavy shit

*Don’t eat like an asshat

*Throw in some intervals or energy system work


I should write an e-book.

4. It seems a week never goes by where I don’t receive an e-mail from someone complaining about back pain. Oftentimes they will tell me that despite using an “ergonomically friendly” chair, they still suffer from persistent back ache. Truth be told, there is no such thing as one best posture for the lumbar spine. The best posture is one that is always changing.

Since many of you are sitting there reading this post at work, feel free to place your feet on your desk. I’m sure you’re boss won’t mind.

5. I’m hereby boycotting any dude who tries to friend me on Facebook who has a shirtless picture of himself as his profile picture. First off, it’s lame. Unless your name is Jessica Alba of course. Secondly, that barbed wire tattoo across your arm is kinda douchebaggy. And lets be honest, you’re not that ripped in the first place.

6. Normally, arguing with a pilates instructor over the internet is about as exciting as playing Marco Polo with Helen Keller, but I’ll play along and make this short and sweet. For the love of god, pilates DOES NOT lengthen (or elongate) your muscles.

Correct me if I’m wrong (and I’m not), a muscle’s length is dependent on it’s origin and insertion along the bone. We can’t make bones longer (I’ll refrain from the obvious joke here), so it’s physiologically impossible to make a muscle longer beyond their given origin and insertion points. I really wish this myth would just shut up and die.

Did what you just read make your day? Ruin it? Either way, you should share it with your friends and/or comment below.

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Plus, get a copy of Tony’s Pick Things Up, a quick-tip guide to everything deadlift-related. See his butt? Yeah. It’s good. You should probably listen to him if you have any hope of getting a butt that good.

I don’t share email information. Ever. Because I’m not a jerk.

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