A few weeks ago a good friend and colleague of mine, Andrew Coates, took some time on his Facebook page to note that he’s not just this 6’2″ 260 lb behemoth of a human being who likes to lift heavy things.
He’s a lot of other things too.
Canadian, for example…;o)
So, I figured since I’m in a bit of a writing rut of late anyway (and that I too am not just some deadlifting Terminator) there’s really no better topic to help me break the funk than…
…scapular upward rotation, extension-based back pain, Top 10 boyfriends of Carrie Bradshaw MEeeeeeee!
Me, Me, Me. It’s All About Me
– I grew up in a small village in Central NY (in the Finger Lakes region) that still doesn’t have one traffic light. Or fast food chain. Or electricity.
– Just kidding. My hometown (Groton, NY) has electricity. In fact, it has it’s own electric company. The station is named after my grandfather He-Man Frank McClear.
– I graduated high-school in 1995 and was one of the few athletes from my hometown to have the opportunity to play sports at the collegiate level.
– I played two years at Onondaga Community College (Syracuse, NY) where I was named MVP Pitcher for both the 1996 & 1997 season in addition to being named 1st Team All-Region in 1997.
– I then transferred to Mercyhurst University (Erie, PA) in 1997 where I was named a Division II Player to Watch for the 1998 season. I played there for two years and SPOILER ALERT: There weren’t many MLB teams clamoring for a right-handed pitcher who topped out at 87 MPH.
Yep, that’s me.
– I then transferred back to NY to finish my degree at SUNY Cortland where I earned a degree in Health Education with a concentration in Health/Wellness Promotion (and kicking ass).[footnote]Magna cum Laude. No big deal.[/footnote]
– I was thiiiiiis close to becoming a health teacher. However, a stint student teaching a bunch of 7th graders what nocturnal emissions are all about pretty much put an end to that dream.
– Instead I opted for a career where I could wear sweatpants everyday to work. Doesn’t suck.
– I was never a voracious reader growing up – except for The Source and Sports Illustrated magazines. It wasn’t until my then girlfriend broke up with me in 2002 (and I needed to find something to occupy my time other than crying in the fetal position in the shower & envisioning her hooking up with other dudes) that I began reading more novels and literature. My favorite author is Kurt Vonnegut. My favorite book is The Grapes of Wrath. The final pages of that book still haunt me.
– I’m a 90’s hip-hop head through and through. 1993-1995 is the best two year span of hip-hop ever. Prove me wrong.
– I never thought in a million years I’d ever be a “writer,” let alone paid to do so. I wonder if any of my high-school English teachers – Mrs. Davie, Mrs. LaVack, Mrs. Gambetta – ever refer to me as their crown achievement? I like to think that they used to include units on “the works of Gentilcore” alongside Shakespeare, Langston Hughes, and Proust.
– I also like to think that one day I’ll make out with J-Lo.
– I firmly believe there’s a middle ground to everything – whether we’re referring to politics, bar position on the back squat, or agreeing that all keto recipes taste like sheetrock.
– I will never, ever, ever, never, not in a million-years, ever, ever, ever…start a podcast.
– The only two live concerts I’ve ever attended are Alicia Keys and Norah Jones (twice).[footnote]Actually, that’s a lie: my first live concert was in the summer of 1996 in Rochester, NY to watch the band Sponge.[/footnote]
– I know everyone says this (and it’s entirely not a profound statement to make), but I love watching movies. I was asked recently what profession I’d want to do if I weren’t doing what I am doing now. First would be “professional beat Jason Bourne in a street fight guy.” Second, though, would be a movie reviewer. I can think of no better way to spend my day than to be a jacked Gene Siskel.
– If there’s one piece of advice I like to give everyone it’s simply this: Be nice. Most of the time. Nazis (and/or Megatron, Skeletor, Cobra Commander, pretty much any doctor/charlatan who writes a mainstream nutrition book) should be punched in the face or pancreas whenever possible.
– I think it’s silly (and bordering me not having enough eye rolls to give) when gym owners post videos of themselves vacuuming their facility.
– That said, who am I to toss shade!? I once posted a video of me doing a Turkish Get-Up. You do you.
– I met my wife on Match.com. We exchanged emails for two days (<– writing skills came in handy there), spoke on the phone for one day, and met for tacos the next. Five years later I proposed on our apartment balcony in sweatpants. Not kidding.
– My cat just took a massive shit in her litter box which is four feet away from me. Perfect segue to end there.
– This was fun.
– I’m awesome…;o)
