Miscellaneous Miscellany Monday

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1. Adam Bornstein, fitness editor from Men’s Health Magazine made a cameo appearance at CP over the weekend. I’ve corresponded with Adam quite a bit in the past year or two, and It was great to finally meet him in person and sit down and talk some shop, as well as give him an idea of the type of training environment that we try to instill at Cressey Performance. Of course, no visit to CP is complete without a round (or three) with the Prowler.

Alas, I didn’t get a video of his performance, but I’m happy to announce that Adam was a champ. Which is to say, there was no puke bucket involved. Nevetheless, if you haven’t already, check out Adam’s blog HERE. As well, if things go as planned, you may very well see some CP love either in Adam’s blog or in the magazine itself. Stay tuned…..

2. Speaking of CP love, strength coach Bret Contreras wrote a really awesome post on training environment and atmosphere. Check it out HERE.

Of note, Bret shared a brief story about when he owned his own facility not too long ago:

The previous owner of my facility turned the place into a Yoga studio, and when their lease expired they left black lights all over the ceilings (I guess for spin class or something?). Sometimes we’d turn on the black lights, dim the regular lights, and blast techno music while the younger women trained. Jordan would utilize this opportunity to show off his dance moves. Some would say that this was unsafe but it really wasn’t. The women loved it.

*light bulb goes off in head*

3. You know how a lot of women are really intimidated and scared to walk into the free-weight area at the gym? Well, I recently found the male equivalent of that. And it’s called Sephora.

On Valentines Day, we had dinner reservations to this really fancy steak place in downtown Boston. Prior to leaving, however, she mentioned to me that she wanted to make a really quick stop “at this store” before we headed to dinner.

I should have seen the foreshadowing the second she didn’t actually name the store we were going to. I guess, looking back, I had illusions that she was going to surprise me and take me to a store that sells nothing but beef jerky, Tom Brady jerseys, or, I don’t know, chainsaws. You know, manly/romantic stuff.

Instead, we walk into the main entrance of The Prudential building (there’s a mall on the bottom floor), and head directly for Sephora. “I just need to walk in really quick to get some liquid eyeliner,” she says. As it was, I felt nauseous/a hint of an epileptic seizure coming on, but I figured how long could it possibly take to get liquid eyeliner. Little did I know, there are more than one variations of liquid eyeliner. Dozens, if not hundreds, in fact (only a slight exaggeration).

In short, the whole experience had to be analogous to when a woman walks into the free-weight area and just blankly stares at the rows of dumbbells and barbells and thinks to herself, “what the hell have I gotten myself into.”

The comparisons don’t stop there either. For example, instead of hearing shouts of “it’s all you, it’s all you,” as you would in a gym, I heard shouts of “OMG Maybelline is on sale, Maybelline is on sale.” What’s more, while we were waiting in line to check out, my girlfriend ended up giving some random woman advice on which lip gloss looked more lip glossier (or something like that). Honestly, I’d have to have a Klingon-to-English dictionary to tell you what it was they were saying, but I can only imagine the same could be said if she were to listen to me talk to someone about glenohumeral internal rotation deficit and how to fix it.

All in all, it was a pretty surreal experience. My girlfriend and I discussed it afterwards and had a good laugh about it. If there was ever a time I was completely out of my element, that was it.

UPDATE: Apparently I was waaaaaaay off base. Far be it from me to realize that Maybelline isn’t even sold at Sephora. Thanks to those below who brought that to my attention. My bad ladies. That was such a Miranda thing to do, I know*

* Actually I don’t.

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Plus, get a copy of Tony’s Pick Things Up, a quick-tip guide to everything deadlift-related. See his butt? Yeah. It’s good. You should probably listen to him if you have any hope of getting a butt that good.

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