Miscellaneous Miscellany Monday 5-3-10

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1. With our trip to Puerto Rico right around the corner (three weeks to be exact), my GF has gone into “time to get Tony some new clothes” mode. This is good and bad. Good, in the sense that I rarely (if ever) buy clothes for myself. Socks and underwear is about it. And even that’s pushing it. Bad, in the sense that I’d rather throw an axe into my face than go shopping. But, being the champ that I am, and recognizing the fact that my favorite Cobra Commander t-shirt isn’t proper attire to wear to a tropical wedding, I reluctantly followed her lead yesterday.

To say that I felt like a little puppy following his master is an understatement. Banana Republic, Express, Zara Man – no store (or sale) was left unchecked. And let me just say that trying to find a pair of jeans for someone who actually has an ass and hamstrings is nearly impossible! If Hollywood was ever thinking about making another Mission Impossible movie, I just found the next plot. HA! Get it? Because you know, the premise of the movie is something that’s impossible, and I couldn’t find a pair of jeans that……oh, shut up!

Moreover, I can honestly say that going shopping with your S.O. is a true test on the strength of the relationship:

Lisa: What size are you?

Me: Pffffffffft, I don’t know. Are we done yet?

Lisa: Babe, can you try these on too?

Me: I’m hungry.

Lisa: Will you please stop adjusting your balls!!!!!

Me: I can’t help it! The boys need room to breath for crying out loud!!!

Lisa: Come here. *taps foot on ground* Turn around. *tugs on waistline* OMG. That looks soooooo good on you.

Me: Yeah? Really? You don’t think it makes me look fat?

Needless to say, when all was said and done, it was some quality bonding time and she said I was about 90% done. Which means, of course, we have to go back. Someone grab me a razor blade.

2. One of the best emails I got last week was from one of my new distance coaching clients who was giving me the lowdown on how his first week went on the new program. All in all, it went pretty smoothly – but he did have a slight issue:

The only problem I had was a minor issue on the cable pull throughs. The two diagrams I attached should explain it clearly.

This was attachment #1

And attachment # 2

3. It’s no secret that most people don’t pay nearly enough attention to tissue quality. While the foam roller is great, it’s only part of the equation. As such, twice per week, we have a local chiropractor/manual therapist, Nate Tiplady, come in and work on our athletes and clients using a combination of ART and Graston techniques.

That said, sometimes, we get some awesome pictures as a result. Here’s one of our female clients, Natalie, after one session with Nate.

Natalie spends the majority of her day in front of a computer and/or studying. As a result, she consistently has neck pain and general discomfort in her mid-back. Of note, HEALTHY tissue should not bruise like this (and this isn’t a typical result), but man is it cool. It’s like she’s a walking anatomy coloring book!

4. And finally, here’s yet another fitness gadget that I’m pissed I never thought of. Seriously, why can’t I ever think of something this retarded and make millions off it?

Gotta love the claim that squatting deep is too dangerous. I could go through and take a massive shit all over this thing, but I’ll leave that up to you guys. Have fun……

Did what you just read make your day? Ruin it? Either way, you should share it with your friends and/or comment below.

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Plus, get a copy of Tony’s Pick Things Up, a quick-tip guide to everything deadlift-related. See his butt? Yeah. It’s good. You should probably listen to him if you have any hope of getting a butt that good.

I don’t share email information. Ever. Because I’m not a jerk.

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