Long story short, worst trainer ever, Mephistopheles Tracy Anderson apparently has put Jennifer Aniston on some sort of diet where she eats only 14 servings of baby food per day, followed by a “healthy adult dinner.”
In her words, Dimwit McGee states:
I developed a cleanse where you can still eat and it’s a lot of puree foods. I was very careful about the foods I chose to put in it,” Tracy told Hollyscoop.com. “When you do these liquid cleanses I felt a responsibility to come up with something. Liquid cleanses do help you lose weight but you will gain more the next week. I wanted something where you can eliminate toxicity, break bad habits but still have your digestive system going. That is when the baby food cleanse was born.”
Jesus, I can’t believe people actually pay her thousands of dollars for health advice. You know she’s just pulling things out of her ass when she tries to explain anything.
Reporter: Tracy, can you explain the rationale behind giving grown adults, baby food? You do realize that baby food is designed for babies because they have smaller colons than adults, correct?
Tracy: We all know there’s an evil White Wizard that lives in our small intestine, right? Well, the way I see it, the baby food will kill the white wizard and the earth will be one.
Reporter: So uh, moving on. What the hell are you talking about?
Tracy: Look, a shiny! Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.
In all seriousness, this is exactly the kind of crap that aggravates me. According to the story above, Aniston reportedly lost seven lbs in the first week on the diet, which you know is going to lead to thousands of women heading to their local grocery store to buy baby food. Note to self: buy stock in Gerber, stat!
Worse still, when you peruse the comments section, you see many women stating how gorgeous Jennifer looks, and that “she looks amazing.” Okay, there’s no denying the fact that she’s (arguably) one of the most beautiful women in the world, but that’s only because the media tells us that’s how women should look – skinny, frail, weak, etc.
I don’t know about you, but I find this to be a strikingly sad commentary on what’s considered the “ideal body” in today’s society. More importantly, though, I think I’ve finally realized just why it is that Jennifer can’t seem to keep a man for more than two months at a time. She’s probably a raving bitch because she’s hungry all that time!
Nevertheless, this parallels really well with a conversation me and my girlfriend had not too long ago. Twice per week, she teaches a spin class in the city (Boston). As she put it, a few months ago, one of her regulars told her that she wouldn’t be coming to her Saturday class for the next few weeks because she was preparing for the marathon. Understandable.
On an aside, according to Lisa (my girlfriend), this girl was in really great shape and had a very athletic body. A body that, for all intents and purposes, epitomized what a healthy, grown woman should look like: You know, normal.
Fast forward to two weeks ago, the girl returned to spin class. Afterwards, she walks up to Lisa to touch base and to fill her in on the details of the marathon, etc. As she approaches, my girlfriend says, “oh my god, you look so tiny.” Not tiny in a good way. But rather, tiny as in “you look like an emaciated Olsen twin” kind of way.
Not surprisingly, the girl replied with, “thank you so much!” Essentially she took it as a compliment, when my girlfriend didn’t necessarily mean it that way.
Likewise, if we were to take a glimpse into the athletic realm – say female tennis for example – we see much of the same mentality. We all know who Anna Kournikova is. Not because of her illustrious tennis career – she never won a major champtionship in fact. Nope, we recognize her because she’s blonde, petite, and dates pop stars.
Serena Williams, conversely, has won 25 Grand Slam titles (12 in singles, 11 in doubles, and 2 in mixed doubles), yet is less celebrated (at least from a body image standpoint) because she’s often deemed as “too bulky” by the mass media.
That’s bullshit. Baby food didn’t make that badonkadonk!