In case you missed it, I shared my uppity snob list of favorite movies of 2014 not too long ago. You can check it out HERE.
To enjoy it and to really bask in it’s uppityness, I’d encourage you to peruse it while bathing in a gold plated tub filled with Riesling while a Victoria Secret model feeds you caviar with a diamond plated spoon shaped like Mitt Romney’s wang.
Or do it while listening to some Mozart.
I don’t know. Either way I’d give you a high-five.
Facetiousness and penis jokes aside, it IS a list I stand behind and one I feel represents my own personal taste as a movie buff/fan and as a movie connoisseur with a palette for awesome.
Before I dive into the fanboy list, though, there are a few other films I wish I could have added to the original list.
Some Others to Consider
Foxcatcher – the trio of Steve Carrell, Channing Tatum, and Mark Ruffalo makes this well worth the watch. Tatum and Ruffalo (especially Ruffalo) have shown off their drama chops before; Carrell was a nice surprise.
Begin Again – I’m not scared to admit it, I have a crush a Keira Knightley. And, Mark Ruffalo stands out (again!) in this superb film by the same director as Once.
Locke – Annnnnd, I’m also not scared to admit I have a man-crush on Bane, Upper Traps Mcgee, Tom Hardy. You want to talk about an impressive acting performance? How about this one by Hardy where it’s – literally – just him sitting in a car for close to two hours talking on a phone. It sounds about as exciting as watching NASCAR, I know….but the movie works. It really does.
Obvious Child – hahahahahahahahahaha. Abortion is hilarious. Note sarcasm.
Yet, in this case…it actually is.
The Skeleton Twins – Lisa gave me the look of death for taking her to go see this movie. Then again I can’t say I blame her. She’s a psychologist who, on a weekly basis, has to deal with real people wanting to kill themselves in real life.
The last thing she’d want spend a Sunday afternoon doing is watching a movie about a pair of suicidal siblings. My bad.
It’s analogous to me being forced to watch Tracy Anderson try to coach someone how to squat correctly. I’d last two minutes before wanting to wash my eyes out with battery acid.
Giving credit where it’s due, though, and despite being depressing as hell, both Kristin Wiig and Bill Hader are really good in this.
Alright Already, Unleash the Nerd Gentilcore
It’s more or less guaranteed that any self-respecting movie nerd who’s nerdy enough to refer to him or herself as a movie nerd is amped up for 2015.
I don’t have to remind you that Nerd Jesus, JJ Abrams, is unleashing the next Star Wars on December 18th, which is 321 Days, 4 Hours, and 18 Minutes away.
In addition we have other nerdtastic releases like Marvel’s Avengers: The Age of Ultron, Jurassic World, Mad Max: Fury Road (Tom Hardy!), Spectre (the next James Bond film), Terminator Genisys, Fantastic Four, The Hateful Eight (<– Tarantino, mofos), and of course Magic Mike XXL.
Yes, I watched the first one when it first came out in theaters. Yes, I liked it. Yes, I own the Blu-ray. And yes, I’m not wearing any pants as I type this post.
Alas my friends. 2014 was pretty high on the nerdtasticdom spectrum in its own right.
1. Captain America: The Winter Soldier
This is probably my favorite Marvel movie to date. And that’s saying a lot….especially given the tendency that most sequels suck.
I don’t know if it was the sweet fight scenes, Scarlet Johannson being Scarlet Johannson, or Chris’ Evans pecs….but this movie hit the mark at every level. Maybe what made this such huge hit for me was the fact there’s actually a plot.
I have a Y chromosome. I enjoy explosions, ninjas, zombies, girl on girl fights, and explosions as much as the next guy. In fact I’ll pay good money to see it. But this movie really set the bar in terms of providing a TON of action, but providing some substance to boot.
2. Guardians of the Galaxy
Quiz:
1. Prior to this movie – which made him more of a household name – what else did star Chris Pratt appear in?
2. Prior to this movie – what do you feel the over under would have been that something revolving around a talking tree, a gun-toting raccoon, a green skinned Zoe Saldana, an ex-professional wrestler (Dave Bautista), and that Chris Pratt fella would have been one of the top grossing (and well reviewed) movies of 2014?
Answers:
1. Crickets chirping for most of you?1
2. About as high as me deciding to train for the Boston Marathon2
One of the funnest movies I’ve ever watched.
3. The Raid 2
The first ‘Raid’ movie was one of the best action movies I’ve ever watched. Bar none.
This one may be better.
The first one took place in a building, 15 or so floors, with one ruthless crime boss and his army of gun wielding/machete yielding/kung-fu goons vs. an elite police squad armed to take them down.
There’s no sugar-coating it fellas – the fight scenes will give you a raging boner.
The second one picks up immediately where the first one ends, and I can’t even begin to describe the even more epic fight scenes and cinematography.
The best line I’ve seen to describe this movie is one by EW movie critic, Chris Nashawaty:
“Fight sequences so bananas they make Jackie Chan/Bruce Lee predecessors look flat-footed.”
Full disclosure: the entire movie is subtitled.
4. Edge of Tomorrow
I love Tom Cruise, but given his recent track record of sci-fi fails (namely, Oblivion) I wasn’t expecting much from this one. Compound that with Emily Blunt playing the role of a hard-ass, ass-kicking Army Captain – which, come on…..it’s Emily Blunt, who’s all of 110 lbs – I wasn’t buying it.
But it’s sci-fi. Anything can happen. If an X-Wing Fighter can blow up a Death Star, Emily Blunt can kick the shit out of aliens.
And I’ll be damned it worked.
This was one of the better surprises of 2014. Awesome story-line (Tom Cruise plays a non-soldier who, after “inheriting” the ability to re-live the same day over and over and over again (ALA Groundhog Day), must team up with Blunt to figure out a way to defeat the aliens who have attacked Earth), with some awesome action. Not the most articulate explanation of a movie, but whatever. Poop.
5. The Equalizer
Think: Taken, but with Denzel Washington.
Literally, this is Denzel Washington vs. the Russian mafia set in Boston. What’s not to like?
6. Snowpiercer
This one was, well, different. But in a good way.
It’s the future. Earth has fallen into some dystopian clusterfuck of sucktitude, and all that remains of mankind is a train that continually travels around the world with the fancy schmancy people near the front living the good life, and the less fortunate slumming it near the tail end.
Ain’t nobody got time for that!
What follows is Captain America Chris Evans and his band of renegade misfits making their way towards the front, with each stop along the way unveiling a world that just grows weirder and weirder.
7. Interstellar
Let me get this straight. This is written and directed by Christopher Nolan (Dark Knight trilogy, Memento, Inception), stars Matthew McConaughey, Jessica Chastain, Anne Hathaway, and Michael Caine, and takes place in space?
SHUT UP AND TAKE MY MONEY!!!!!!!!
So there you have it. Got any to add yourself? Chime in below.
