Today’s guest post comes from regular contributor, Justin Kompf. It’s a personal story, but a story many of you reading will either appreciate or commiserate with.
If You Want to Improve, You’re Going to Have to Deal With Some Shit
There was once a young man who was enrolled at West Point; he found himself absolutely miserable at the academy. Luckily, at the time his mother was friends with a smart dude. This smart dude happened to be the 16th president of the United States. He wrote the cadet and said:
“Allow me to assure you it is a perfect certainty that you will, very soon, feel better-quite happy- if you only stick to the resolution you have taken to procure a military education. I am older than you, have felt badly myself, and know, what I tell you is true. Adhere to your purpose and you will soon feel as well as you ever did.
On the contrary, if you falter, and give up, you will lose the power of keeping any resolution, and will regret it all your life”
I highly doubt Abraham Lincoln would have thought those particular words he wrote to the West Point cadet would have an impact on a young man trying to figure his life out over 100 years later. How could he know that those words were exactly what I needed to hear at the time?
In the Summer of 2016, I was in a predicament; for a while, I had intended to apply to doctoral programs to study health behavior after completing my Master’s degree. But when push came to shove, I got scared. Irrational thoughts flooded my mind.
“My life won’t start until I’m done, and I’ll be 31”
“I’ll be so far behind everyone else”
“What if I find out I don’t want to teach and do research when I’m done?”
A PhD program would involve me devoting four more years of my life to school when all I really wanted to do was get my life going.
So, I panicked.
I found myself exploring different career paths.
I would drive down to a health and fitness center in Ithaca to talk about becoming a dietician. I drove to Syracuse to talk to my Aunt about nursing. I called my cousin in California to talk about her job as a physician’s assistant. I had meetings with Cortland faculty members to get information on how to get into PA school. Then I was calling friends who were physical therapist to talk about their jobs. PT sounded right for me; I started observing a physical therapist in town and began the application process to physical therapy school. These all seemed like safe, high paying jobs, with clear career trajectories.
Every time I thought of a new career path I diverted myself from the fear of four more years of school and an uncertain career future. There was always an instant sensation of relief from that fear.
But then a few things gave me a sense of insight.
Aside from reading sage advice from historical figures I was also exercising my ass off.
One night I was trail running to clear my head. It got dark really quick and rain started to come down, an appropriate metaphor for how I felt at the time. It was hard to see any more than a few feet in front of me. But somewhere towards the end of my run I was hit with some clarity.
None of those career paths I was looking into would give me the voice I wanted to make a positive impact on the world. If I didn’t have my voice and pursued a career I wasn’t passionate about just to be safe, I would be miserable.
And rather than the temporary misery I was feeling now, I knew the misery of not pursuing my passion would be permanent.
Fear is just an emotional construct, something that can’t really hurt you. I knew I couldn’t control that I felt it, but it was my responsibility as to whether or not it controlled my actions.
I knew that if I didn’t adhere to my purpose I would regret it the rest of my life. All those other careers wouldn’t fulfill the passion I had.
Winston Churchill once said “to change is to improve, to perfect is to change often”
What he didn’t say is that change is a scary and uncomfortable process. My modern interpretation of that quote would be:
“If you want to improve, you’re going to have to deal with some shit”
When faced with the decision of what shit sandwich I wanted to eat, I knew I could either (A) take the leap and accept fear and discomfort, or (B) live with regret but have comfort, I chose to accept the fear.
I applied to PhD programs, was accepted, and am heading to the University of Massachusetts Boston in the Summer to their Exercise and Health Sciences Program.
Whether on social media, or in real life, when people announce an accomplishment, others might look on in awe and wonder how they got to where they are now.
Well, more than likely, the answer is that they dealt with some shit.
They worked hard, stepped out of their comfort zone and got comfortable feeling uncomfortable. For me it was an eight-month process of dealing with uncertainty and fear. It was also putting in years of extra work to be a good candidate for a program like this.
In the end I wrote this because, a simple, “hey I’m going back to school” Facebook update didn’t seem justifiable and I think my experience can help people. Taking a leap is scary but I am looking forward to the next chapter in my life.
I lift. You lift. We all lift. Raise your hand if you do yoga?
[Cue crickets chirping]
Chances are not many of you raised your hands. I can count on one hand the total number of times I’ve been to a yoga class. In fact, I wrote about taking one HERE.
It was okay, but it’s never been my cup of tea. Because, you know, yoga.
If only there was a style of yoga that was quick, not boring, and designed with meatheads in mind.
Egads, here comes Neghar Fonooni to the rescue.1She sent me a copy of her Wildfire Yoga resource last week and made sure to include this note (as if she knows me or something):
“I know what you’re thinking, yoga. But even meatheads can’t afford to not do this. This isn’t your standard yoga, but more along the lines of “flow series” that can be done in 5-20 minutes. The idea is to take the minimal effective dose and DO this shit.”
She had me at meathead.
Check it out HERE. But also read Neghar’s guest post below. If I can’t convince you she certainly can.
Yoga: For People Who Lift
The first time I stepped into a yoga class I was 18 years old. I’d been lifting weights for a few years as part of my high school sports requirements, and I had recently started working at the local YMCA—which meant I could try all of the classes free of charge.
And try them I did, which is how I ended up in this yoga class in the first place—the youngest, least flexible person in the room by a landslide. I remember watching these women, most of whom were 10-20 years my senior, get into positions I couldn’t even wrap my head around. It wasn’t so much that I wasn’t flexible, as I’d always stretched and mobilized while playing sports, but I sure wasn’t “yoga flexible” by any means.
It was during that extremely uncomfortable hour that I decided I couldn’t allow that physical discrepancy to stand. A competitive athlete all my life, I just couldn’t accept the notion that these “older” women could do something I couldn’t—which is absolutely comical when you consider that I sit here today in that age bracket I once considered old.
In response, I spent the next several years straddling both the lifting and yoga worlds, learning how to down dog and deadlift, and more than anything, learning how to be at home in my own body. At some point in my mid-twenties I officially became a meathead, chasing strength goals and worshipping barbells—and in that process, I lost touch with my yoga practice.
I was training 1-2 hours a day, and I just couldn’t find the time for yoga practices. Not to mention, I’d gotten so into lifting that yoga began to feel…superfluous. Unimportant, even. It wasn’t until a few years later, while seeking emotionally and mental balance, did I realize what a disservice I’d done myself by abandoning my yoga practice.
Sure, deadlifts and squats were great—but something was missing.
I’d gotten so serious about training to the extent that I’d actually lost touch with my body. It became a tool to lift things up and pick them down, and as a result, I often felt like a stranger in my own skin.
It didn’t take long for me to figure out that yoga was the missing link. But, having completely immersed myself into the meathead world, I simply didn’t have the time to dedicate to a yoga practice. Not to mention, I’d gained a lot of muscle in my yoga off-season, making it a little trickier to get into some of those poses.
I found myself uncomfortable and intimidated in most of the yoga classes I attended, not having a typical “yoga body” and finding resistance in certain poses due to my delts of doom and my Quadzilla legs. I also found that during 60-90 minute yoga classes I would get bored, distracted, and even anxious.
I wasn’t really a yogi, at least not like the yogis I saw around me. But I knew I wasn’t only a meathead either, because yoga felt like something I needed in my life. I was, in fact, a meathead yogi—the most flexible person at my gym, yet the least flexible in my yoga class.
I had a unique perspective in this role, one that allowed me to see the beautifully inverse relationship between the two practices. But I couldn’t balance them with my schedule—at least not completely. I was a single mom, a full time personal trainer, and a blogger—all while taking night classes to finish my degree. I didn’t have time for 60-90 minute yoga classes, but I could carve out space for the minimal effective dose.
We talk about this a lot as it pertains to strength training; we know that we don’t necessarily have to dedicate hours in the gym in order to get strong, and that by being consistent with a minimal effective dose, we can make major strides.
We know that a 20 minute workout is better than no workout at all, and we know that by giving ourselves permission to do these shorter workouts, we’re more likely to build momentum when it comes to our training.
In contemplating this lesson I’d spent years teaching my clients, I realized that, just as I could get a lot out of a 20 minute training session, I could really benefit from just 5-10 minutes of yoga as well.Was a 60 minute yoga class going to be effective? Absolutely. But I didn’t have that kind of time, and I knew that I couldn’t afford not to do yoga.
I was spending so much time in the gym, lifting heavy weights, doing serious, strenuous movements, and I had nothing to balance me out. I was all yin and no yang, all hustle and no flow. But once I gave myself permission to do the bare minimum with regards to yoga, everything changed.
I started spending 5 minutes per day on my mat, and that 5 minutes eventually increased to 10, then 15, then twenty. Today I fluctuate between 5 minute morning flows and 20-30 minute flows on Sunday. I still consider myself a yogi but I rarely make it to a yoga studio. And despite that fact, I enjoy the myriad benefits that come with a yoga practice.
If you’re anything like me, you love to deadlift too. You probably like to squat, maybe even bench. Me? Pull-ups are my absolute favorite. And by doing just a few minutes of yoga per day, I’ve improved all of those lifts. My lifting regimen has benefited immeasurably from the addition of a short yoga practice, and in ways I’d never even imagined.
Here’s how…
More Active Recovery
Yoga is an effective and low impact way to move on your non-lifting days without compromising recovery. Rather than take a full day “off,” you can keep your movement momentum going every single day by doing just a few minutes of yoga.
Plus, if you’re feeling sore from a particularly intense training session, a short yoga flow can help redistribute blood flow and in recovery. If you could help your body recover in just 5-10 minutes per day so that you felt better going into your next training session, wouldn’t you say that’s a no-brainer?
Kinesthetic (Body) Awareness
Flowing through poses while barefoot and without a mirror requires a great deal of control. Yoga requires you to listen to your body, tapping into your trunk, your feet, your legs, and your hands to enter and sustain postures without visual aid.
This process increases kinesthetic (or body) awareness and can help when moving through compound lifts at the gym such as squats and pushups. Because yoga carries such an internal focus, it can encourage you to practice more intuition during your lifts.
Balance
And I don’t mean stability, although you’ll certainly get your fair share of that from yoga. I’m referring to the balance of activity that yoga provides to meatheads like us. Lifting sessions are typically aggressive and weighted, while yoga is intrinsic and uses the body as leverage. This can create a balance between Herculean and Buddha-like activities, which in turn, encourages balance within your daily life.
If you’re anything like me, you find that you’re more hustle than flow—yoga helps you add more flow into your life, which actually benefits your hustle.
Mobility and Flexibility
No matter how many times someone tells us that we need to spend more time stretching our muscles or mobilizing our joints, we would just rather lift, wouldn’t we?
I mean, who has time to do all that flexibility work when we have to make sure we snag that open rack for a squat sesh? But, improving your mobility and flexibility will increase your movement efficiency-benefiting your lifts exponentially.
Yoga is a fun way to get bendy that won’t take up valuable gym time. By doing 5-8 minutes of yoga every day, you’re building a foundation of mobility that doesn’t require you to do lengthy warm-ups at the gym, or add time to your already time-consuming lifting sessions.
Breath Control
I cannot tell you how many times I have helped someone out of shoulder pain by teaching them to breathe from their diaphragm or coached a client into a stronger overhead press just by cueing them to BREATHE. Yoga places significant emphasis on the breath, which will keep you aware of your breathing during your training sessions.
Note from TG: while not quite the same thing (it’s close) here’s me explaining what it means to get 3D expansion of rib cage which is all about keeping diaphragm and pelvis aligned for optimal stability.
The Goldilocks Principle
Understanding when to hold back on your lifts and when to push through is a delicate dance.
You can sometimes set down the weight and think, “I could’ve done more.” Inversely, you might be wishing you hadn’t pushed through that last ugly rep. Yoga teaches you how to feel free within your body, accomplishing challenging poses while fostering ease of movement.
You can’t force the poses if you intend to do them correctly, but you are encouraged to work with the body you have in that moment, and access what abilities you can find. It’s a beautiful balance of just right that can aid you in your lifting endeavors.
Bodyweight Strength
When I started bringing yoga back into my life, I realized that my strength training had some critical holes in it. Being able to move heavy iron relative to your bodyweight is awesome, but then discovering that you have little ability to leverage that bodyweight? Well, that was a revelation.Yoga improves bodyweight strength, and puts you in positions that you might not otherwise put yourself in at the gym.
Noncompetitive Environment
Most of us who lift regularly have an inherent competitive nature. We compete with ourselves to set PRs, compete with friends at the gym, or even compete in an organized environment such as powerlifting, CrossFit games, or sporting events.
This is a personality trait I see in most of my gym buddies, and it’s something that can certainly benefit us. However, even when this competition is friendly, it’s still competition and can sometimes blind us.
Yoga is a noncompetitive environment that can bring you back to your center when your hunger for big lifts gets ravenous. You’ll have to learn to accept your progressions and avoid comparing yourself to others.
There is no “PR” in yoga, just a commitment to show up on the mat and move.
Bigger Lifts
You might not typically think of yoga as something that can make you stronger, but it sneaks up on you like that. Yoga poses can translate to lifting strength by waking up muscles you don’t often use, encouraging cooperative multi-joint movements and giving you wicked upper body strength. I can deadlift over twice my bodyweight and perform multiple sets of 10 pull-ups-but there are yoga poses that absolutely humble me.
With all of these amazing benefits, you cannot afford not to do yoga. Give yourself a few minutes on the mat per day, and I guarantee your training—and your quality of life—will improve drastically.
Can you get all of these benefits in just 5 minutes a day? Of course you can! Chances are you’re not doing any yoga right now. You’ve decided it’s not for you because:
It takes too long
You’re not good at it
Yoga studios are not your jam
You don’t want to spend money on classes
You’d rather lift
And I get it, trust me. I can totally relate to all of those things. But what if I told you that you could use the minimal effective dose of yoga to get you all of these benefits and more?
Enter Wildfire, the 21-day yoga program designed for people who would rather lift…
We’re stuck in an emotionally devoid rut. And Planet Fitness isn’t helping.
I am all for showering my fellow humans with compassion and empathy. Treat others as you’d like to be treated isn’t a bad way to go about doing things.
However, taking politics out of the conversation2, it’s a safe observation to note we live in an era where we have a proclivity to shield people from “bad” feelings or from experiencing failure or hardship.
Social media plays into it. I mean, everyone on Facebook and Instagram lives in a world of butterfly kisses and rainbows (and delicious looking entrees), and it’s hard not to compare and feel up to snuff amongst everyone else’s hunky-doriness.
Society, in general, plays a massive role too. All we need to do is look towards the idea of participation trophies and “safe spaces” to note how we’re seemingly desensitizing people from a wider spectrum of feelings and uncomfortableness.
NOTE: I’d highly recommend checking out the Pixar movie Inside Out. The whole vibe of the movie is to demonstrate that feeling sad or angry or scared is okay…and that it’s a normal, nay, a necessary component of growth.
In today’s guest post by Texas-based personal trainer, Shane McLean, he does a brief “deep dive” into the phenomenon of Planet Fitness and how it mirrors much of the sentiment above.
I.e., shielding people from failure and uncomfortable situations. Is it really helping?
Don’t worry, it’s not an anti-Planet Fitness diatribe. There’s no need to preach to the choir here. However, bringing the (albeit slight) nefarious side of why Planet Fitness even exists is something I find very interesting and something worth discussing.
Enjoy.
The Planet Fitness Myth
The first time I entered a weight room, I had absolutely had no idea what to do or how to get started. However, isn’t that the case with almost everything we do for the first time?
The start of the New Year brings a stampede of newbie gym-goers who enter a gym for the first time disappointed by their ever-growing waistlines. They usually head straight to the cardio machines to watch TV or to the dumbbell rack to do endless variations of biceps curls hoping their belly will magically disappear.
The regular gym folk may get annoyed when ‘their’ gym is full or the machines have all been taken or the biggest granddaddy of them all, the squat rack is being used for biceps curls. This one makes me mad. How mad? This mad.
These newbies are looking to lose a few pounds and think doing endless sets of curls is no big deal. They just want to look better naked and are (usually) not interested in strength or performance goals.
The newbies may feel judged or intimidated because of the looks they receive from the regulars or from the lack of help they receive from the gym staff. Whether these feelings are real or imagined, they have led to a rise of gyms, like Planet Fitness, who market themselves as the “non-gym.”
Planet Fitness, which started in 1992 in Newington, New Hampshire now has over 1000 locations and 7 million members making it one of the largest health clubs in the U.S.
With their cheap per-month membership and their slick advertising slogans such as Judgement Free Zone®, Gymtimidation® and their world famous Lunk™ alarm, Planet Fitness is doing a great job of attracting these disenfranchised exercisers.
Planet Fitness has built its reputation on maintaining a non-competitive work environment which has led to banning of certain exercises (which happens to be my favorites) and certain types of lifters.
They keep their costs down by omitting fancy stuff like juice bars and personal trainers and by not following every exercise fad. They stock their facility with good old fashioned cardio, weight machines dumbbells and barbells and not much else.
I think Barney the dinosaur and LSU would approve of their color scheme. However, I’m not a fan of purple
They also offer free pizza, bagels and even tootsie rolls to their members on the gym floor. What an ingenious idea. Can you imagine holding a slice of pizza in one hand and doing curls with the other? It boggles the mind with other possibilities.
It’s not my intention to rag on Planet Fitness because the facts speak for themselves. They are doing quite well and have cornered their share of the market, and they keep on growing.
However, I take exception to the way they portray non- purple commercial gyms.
Our first commercial gym experiences were probably similar. We were surrounded by people who were in much better shape than we were. They were bigger, faster and stronger and most of them knew what to do.
We’d scan the room and realize, “Shit, I’ve got some work to do.”
Sure, we may’ve felt slightly intimated or maybe even judged by the other regulars at the beginning but those feelings will fade with time and sweat equity.
Being out of ones “comfort zone” is necessary for growth, don’t you think?
Instead of cowering in the corner and waiting for free pizza, I used this as motivation to get better. People who have taken the time, effort and sacrifice to get in shape should be role models to others and not kicked out of the gym because they’re ‘too muscly’ or for making too much noise.
The gym floor isn’t a church after all.
Furthermore, in my experience these type of people are more than willing to help and share their tips, tricks and techniques. Sure, they might be intimating, but once you get to know them, they could be as gentle as a pussy cat.
Planet Fitness fits right into the era where we give out trophies for participation and ribbons for finishing last. Nobody likes to lose and nobody wants to get his or her feelings hurt.
However, this doesn’t fit with real life. We lose. We get our feelings hurt. We get judged. We get intimated by a situation or a person. Either we pack our bags and go home or use this as a learning situation and move onward and upward.
I’m assuming I’m preaching to the converted here. You take your health and fitness seriously and invest time, money, effort and sweat equity into it. However, if you have a friend, family member or co -worker interested in joining Planet Fitness, tell them this
The deadlift is an awesome exercise that strengthens the whole body. Have them read THIS.
Having temptation around when trying to make a change is a sure way to fail.
Excluding certain people from the gym doesn’t mean judgment and intimdation stop.
Those feelings described don’t last. Whether they’re real or imagined, use them for positive change.
How can you tell if people are judging you anyway? They might just be checking you out.
Wrapping Up
There will always be gyms who compete only on price and price alone. However, most people’s health and fitness is worth way more than $10 per month and free tootsie rolls.
No matter how delicious they are.
About the Author
Shane “The Balance Guy” McLean, is an A.C.E Certified Personal Trainer working deep in the heart of Texas. Shane believes in balancing exercise with life while putting the fun back into both.
Peruse pretty much any fitness magazine targeted to women and you’ll inevitably see words like, “lose, fat-loss, tight, drop a size, tiny, hot, and lean” plastered all over its pages. This is unfortunate.
Women are programmed, often at an early age, to be less, that in order to be attractive and have self-worth, the smaller you are the better.
I say: Bull to the shit.
It’s no secret I’m a firm advocate for women to strength train. Time and time and time again I witness women transform their bodies (and mindsets) when they choose to nix the endless elliptical sessions in lieu of picking up some barbells.3
There is nothing wrong with choosing to be more.
I am pumped to help promote The Bigness Project from Kourtney Thomas and Jen Sinkler. It’s everything I’m a fan of when it comes to directing women to the right kind of information.
Please enjoy the guest post Kourtney was kind enough to write below.
Maybe Less Isn’t More
I used to be one of those women who made a point to talk about how little space I took up. I’d brag about taking the first middle seat I came to on a Southwest flight because, “I’m just a little girl!” On top of that, I made a point of keeping everything about my already small body as tiny as possible. Because, after all, being less is more when it comes to women’s bodies, right?
More like “Yeah right!”
Over the years, I eventually began to see that there was another way to go. And while, yes, I do walk around in a petite frame, I’ve come to see that what I do with it and how I carry myself can convey a whole different message.
When I first got into fitness, though, it was pretty much cardio only for me. I loved group cycling and endurance running. I enjoyed sweating all over the floor teaching a high-energy cycling class, and I loved running out to the middle of nowhere and melting into nature and myself.
At the time, I didn’t yet grasp that my participation in each of these sports tended to reinforce that same, constant message for me: that less is more. Endurance runners have to be rail-thin so they can be fast. Group cycling classes will claim to burn a gazillion or so calories. The rest, if not explicitly stated, is often implied in skewed marketing messages: stay little.
In time, I experimented and found my way to some weight training. But I started with methods I thought wouldn’t make me too big or bulky. And obviously, to burn more calories, because I still believed that less was more. Along the way, I began to see glimpses of a different way though. Who is this Jen Sinkler person, and what is this Lift Weights Faster stuff I see? Oh my goodness, Girls Gone Strong?
Strong? What a novel concept!
And women were using…what was that called again? A barbell? I was clueless and petrified to touch the thing for the first time, but I eventually gave myself a dose of my own tough love, sucked it up, and walked into the weight room one day. As it turned out, it wasn’t so bad, and I felt capable of being there! (I also realized not everyone knew what they were doing in there.)
And, so, I started with strong, and I believe in that wholeheartedly. I completely agree with Tony when he says that training for performance in lifting is a great place to start. I not only saw my strength come up substantially, but as Tony has also mentioned many times before, I began to see significant physical changes in my body shape and composition.
I was getting bigger. Bigger! Everywhere. And I liked it.
I liked it so much, in fact, that it became my primary goal. I’ll never forget writing my initial email to my first coach and my No. 1 goal as “Gain some size. As much hypertrophy as possible.” Oh, how different that was from the last 30 or so years of my life — that a woman should actively say to herself, I don’t want to shrink. I want to grow! I don’t want to lose weight. I want to gain! And then deliberately work toward getting bigger?
It took a little time to get behind fully, I’ll admit. Just like so many other women, I’ve been conditioned by the mainstream messaging to know nothing other than slender, slim, and thin-is-in. Not to mention, quiet, polite, and ladylike. Flipping the script on all of that doesn’t happen overnight. But changing my training focus to hypertrophy not only helped me to discover the most fun kind of training ever (seriously!), but it helped me to embrace my own body, more than I ever thought possible.
I used to hate my “linebacker shoulders” and big arms. Now? Are you kidding me? Let’s beef ’em up so I can bust out of my sleeves! I used to cringe at my outer thighs and cover them up with my hands so they’d look like the ones I saw in the magazines. Now? I cannot stop leg pressing because I want to see my muscles through my pants.
Letting go of less is more was freeing. It was empowering. It was a gift, an open door to start exploring what other mainstream misconceptions might be out there. I’ve always been one to go a bit against the grain and question the norm, and while it took me a little while longer to do it when it came to what I wanted for my body, when I got there? Everything changed.
Loving my big arms (and doing 10,000 biceps curls) enriched my life exponentially and boosted my confidence about everything through the stratosphere. Who would have thought that working deliberately to bulk up would have that effect? Oh, and it also happened to have the effect of creating a physique that I, personally, consider totally rockin’.
More muscles has meant more everything for me. More quality relationships, more fun, more business, more love. All of it — seriously — because I made a choice to defy that less is more rhetoric and train specifically to be bigger.
Because, sometimes? More is more.
Are You Ready for the Bigtime?
The Bigness Project is a brand-new hypertrophy-training program built to get you built. Written by Kourtney Thomas, a strength and conditioning coach who has spent the last few years focused on the small details that will get you big, this program—or “brogram,” as she refers to it in the most gender-neutral of ways—delivers on the promise of bigger arms and a bigger life.
Consisting of tried-and-true muscle-building techniques, The Bigness Project will guide you through 14 weeks of training that will support your overall strength, develop a stronger mind-muscle connection, and give you a look that leaves no doubt that you lift weights.
A comprehensive User Manual that explains the philosophy behind the program and walks you step-by-step through every aspect of Bigness training and lifestyle.
14-week hypertrophy training program.
A complete exercise glossary including 95 written and photo demonstrations of every movement in the program.
A video library containing 20 in-depth explanations of the most detailed movements and components of the program.
Now available—all aboard the gainz train! To celebrate the kickoff of the Bigness Project, the program is on sale now. Get your copy HERE and join us in the gym this week!
About Kourtney Thomas
Kourtney Thomas is a personal trainer and Certified Strength and Conditioning Specialist with a passion for empowerment and hypertrophy training for women, which she coaches virtually with Kourtney Thomas Fitness. When she’s not at the gym doing some variation of biceps curls, Kourtney loves to ride her Harley-Davidson Softail Deluxe anytime the weather is above 50 degrees, travel to national parks, stay up too late reading copious amounts of science fiction and fantasy, and bake elaborate cakes and cookies—because something has to fuel those gains. Drawing on the above, her personal motto is “Big Arms, Big Life,” and she lives by that daily.
Today’s guest post comes courtesy of SUNY Cortland head strength coach and lecturer, Justin Kompf. And speaking of SUNY Cortland, the annual Health and Wellness Conference is this April 8th featuring myself, Dr. Lisa Lewis, Brian St. Pierre, Mark Fisher, and Dr. David Just. For more information go HERE.
It is the easiest thing in the world to sit down after work, turn on the television and eat whatever food is most convenient.
This convenience is inherently pleasurable; for most people, alternative behaviors such as exercise and cooking for 30 minutes are not. There is no immediate reward to experience from this type of behavior.
In fact, the exercise session may actually elicit what is perceived to be painful bodily experiences, especially when compared to sitting on the couch. The chicken and broccoli meal certainly isn’t going to excite your taste buds in the same way that burger, fries, and milkshake would. Thus, there is potential for painful experiences such as bodily discomfort and future soreness when a person exercises and they are also giving up the pleasure associated with unhealthy food.
Change Is Difficult
Due to the general difficulty of change, lifestyle modification to adopt healthier behaviors will certainly result in struggling with some intrinsically negative emotions. Struggling to suppress or avoid thoughts such as “I won’t eat the cookie” or “I won’t sit on the couch and watch television after work” might actually make these thoughts more accessible in the mind and ironically more likely to occur. Additionally, if you are trying to eat healthier and exercise more and happen to have a normal human mind, you will inevitably have negative self-thoughts.
“No matter how hard I work, I will never look like her”
“Exercising every day is challenging with my schedule, is it even worth it?”
“I can’t do it”
“I can’t change”
“I’ve failed at this before, why should now be any different?”
“Acceptance means opening up and making room for painful feelings, sensations, urges, and emotions. We drop the struggle with them, give them some breathing space, and allow them to be as they are. Instead of fighting them, resisting them, running from them, or getting overwhelmed by them, we open up to them and let them be. (Note: This doesn’t mean liking them or wanting them. It simply means making room for them!)”
When these negative thoughts appear in your head ask yourself the question, “Can I work with these thoughts?”. It is not a question of whether these thoughts are true or false since this is all a matter of perspective.
For example, “I didn’t lose weight this week, I’m a failure”. Whether or not your truly are a “failure” is irrelevant. What is relevant is how this thought will guide your behavior. If you let the thought of being a failure guide your behavior will it enable you to reach your goals and help you become the kind of person you want to be?
Acceptance and commitment based strategies may be useful in promoting physical activity. Pilot research on the topic demonstrated that after an acceptance and commitment based intervention college aged women visited the school athletic center to exercise significantly more than those in an education only condition (Butryn, et al., 2011).
Further, after a 10-week study designed to promote increased walking in sedentary individuals, Martin and colleagues found that when participants were taught skills to enable the acceptance of negative feelings and unpleasant sensations that come with physical activity there was a significant increase in cardiorespiratory fitness, estimated VO2max, and a decreased avoidance of the negative internal experiences related to physical activity (no control group for comparison).
One weight loss study showed that after a 12-week acceptance based intervention participants lost 6.6% of their body weight. More impressively, at a six month follow up participants had continued to lose weight (9.6% of body weight) (Forman, 2009).
Two of the most practical tips to practice acceptance and commitment are to identify higher order values and to examine if thoughts are workable.
Let behaviors be guided by values rather than ruminating on negative thoughts
Acceptance and commitment therapy is based on the understanding that people will only continue to engage in behaviors that bring about distressing internal experiences only if these experiences are occurring at the service of some higher order life goal or value.
In their 2009 Pilot study Forman and his colleagues had participants list out the top 10 reasons why they wanted to lose weight. They were then taught to recognize the connection between the values they listed and their eating and physical activity behavior (Forman, 2009). Once higher order values are identified, meaning is now attributed to daily behaviors that once lacked importance.
I believe that this connection between behaviors and values is best exemplified by Hall of Fame pitcher Tom Seaver:
“Pitching…determines what I eat, when I go to bed, what I do when I’m awake. It determines how I spend my life when I’m not pitching. If it means I have to come to Florida and can’t get tanned because I might get a burn that would keep me from throwing a few days, then I never go shirtless in the sun… If it means I have to remind myself not to pet dogs with my left hand or throw logs on the fire with my left hand, then I do that, too. If it means in the winter I eat cottage cheese instead of chocolate chip cookies in order to keep my weight down, then I eat cottage cheese.” (Duckworth)
A value system establishes that low order daily behaviors are in service of higher order long term goals. If you need more help finding strong values to strengthen your resolve for daily behaviors try asking yourself why each stated goal is important to you. For example:
Goal level 1: I want to start exercising more consistently. Why?
Goal level 2: Because I want to improve my health. Why?
Goal level 3: Because I have seen unhealthy relatives lose their independence with age and I want to be able to do all the activities I love for a long time.
Exercising consistently is thus linked to being able to maintain one’s independence throughout a lifetime.
Ask if your thoughts are workable
Whenever a negative thought or feeling comes into consciousness ask yourself if this thought is workable. Specifically, you can ask yourself the following:
“If you let this thought guide your behavior, will that help you create a richer, fuller, and more meaningful life? If you hold on to this thought tightly, does it help you to be the person you want to be and do the things you want to do?”
If this thought is not workable, try practicing an acceptance based skill called defusion. Defusion is the process of observing thoughts and feelings from a ‘distance’ without acting on them or trying to change them. Thoughts and feelings do not need to be believed, acted on, or even suppressed. A negative emotion is not something that will be solved analytically or with scrutiny.
For example, if you are hungry because you are trying to lose weight, that hunger is an inherently negative feeling. However, this negative feeling does not necessitate harmful action such as binge eating. You also do not need to pretend as if this feeling is not currently with you, accept that it is there and recognize that you are in control of how this feeling guides behavior.
Who can use acceptance and commitment strategies in their practice?
It is important to not overstep the boundaries of professional practice. I believe it would be important to consider acceptance and commitment as a paradigm shift in a person’s thinking process. In his book, Russ Harris states that:
“I hope to make ACT accessible to the broadest possible range of professionals- from coaches, counselors, and mental health nurses, to social workers, psychologist, psychiatrist, and all health professionals”
I would recommend that anyone who is trying to change their lifestyle start with working on identifying higher order goals and linking them to their daily behavior. Furthermore, attempt to practice defusion skills if negative thoughts or emotions well up as a result of lifestyle change. Ask if these thoughts are workable for long term goals. If they aren’t, recognize that they do not need to be accepted as truth and do not need to be acted on.
Author’s Bio
Justin is the head strength coach at SUNY Cortland. He is also a lecturer in the kinesiology department at the university. Cortland hosts a health and wellness conference each year, this year on April 8th. Speakers will include Tony Gentilcore, Dr. Lisa Lewis, Brian St. Pierre, David Just and Mark Fisher. For more information go HERE.
Note From TG: The conference linked to above is $60 to attend. That’s a steal considering the quality of presenters coming in and the information that will be shared. Students: you can’t use the excuse of “that’s too expensive” because I know full-well you’re spending that much (if not more) drinking on the weekends. Fitness Pros: this is Cortland, NY, in April, for $60. Shut up and get your butt there…;o)
References
Butryn, M.L., Forman, E.M., Hoffman, K.L., Shaw, J.A., & Juarascio, A.S. (2011). A pilot study of acceptance and commitment therapy for promotion of physical activity. Journal of Physical Activity and Health, 8(4), 516-522.
Duckworth, A. Grit: The power of passion and perseverance.
Forman, E.M., Butryn, M.L., Hoffman, K.L., Herbert, J.D. (2009). An open trial of an acceptance-based behavioral intervention for weight loss. Cognitive and Behavioral Practice, 16, 223-235.
Harris, R. ACT made simple: An easy-to-read primer on acceptance and commitment therapy.
Martin E.C., Galloway-Williams, N., Cox, M.G., & Winett, R.A. (2015). Pilot testing of a mindfulness- and acceptance- based intervention for increasing cardiorespiratory fitness in sedentary adults: A feasibility study. Journal of Contextual Behavioral Science, 4(4), 237-245.
I have a BIG treat for you. My wife, Dr. Lisa Lewis, is making a much anticipated cameo on my site today. People loooove when she chimes in and writes an article for the site. Tony Gentilwhonow?
Enjoy.
She trains. Hard. Makes progress and achieves goals. Inspires and impresses others. She balances work, finances, family, friends, food, and her fitness. The fact is: she’s amazing. But the feeling? It’s often something quite different.
A woman wrote to me several months ago about being stuck. She explained:
“[Lifting] is hard, I put in tons of effort and I struggle to be ok with this…the fact that it doesn’t come easily to me despite all my hard work, sweat, and effort. I struggle with feelings of disappointment and feeling like I am letting myself down and my trainer down if I do not perform to MY unrealistic expectations… I fall into the comparison trap and thinking I “should” be like some random girl I will follow on Instagram. It SHOULD be easier. I SHOULD be squatting 225 for reps. Sometimes I struggle to celebrate the small victories and instead get down for the little things I didn’t do… the doubtful voice in my head or other distractions/stressors of life (work, relationships, etc)… still creeps in there, especially mid set if 1 of my reps wasn’t “easy” or “perfect”.
Sounds sad. Sounds frustrating and lonely. Sounds like a fun-sucking, comparison-focused, judgmental, negative, cycle.
Sound familiar?
Perfectionism has been defined in many ways. The “refusal to accept any standard short of perfection,” means that the perfectionist rejects any outcome or effort that is devoid of flaws… less than The Most… secondary to superlative. And in order for the perfectionist to ‘accept’ an outcome, it must be possible for there to even be such a thing as “perfect” in the first place.
What About the Strength Training Perfectionist?
Perfectionism can be viewed as a personality strength in athletic contexts (Hill, Gotwals, Witcher &
Leyland, 2015). As you might imagine, dedication and intense pursuit of success bode well for those in pursuit of a lofty (or in this case, heavy) goal.
Joachim Stoeber, professor of psychology at the University of Kent, recently described perfectionism as a “double edged sword” (2014). On one hand, perfectionism can be motivating. It can help us to feel determined, to fight for our goals and make the sacrifices necessary to progress in our training. On the other hand, perfectionism can fuel our inner-critic. It can keep us focused on our short comings and blind us to any progress we’ve made along the way.
Strive for perfection – but don’t be concerned about past imperfection.
Researchers of perfectionism have described healthy and unhealthy subtypes of perfectionism (Flett & Hewitt, 2005; Stoeber & Otto, 2006). Sometimes referred to as ‘healthy perfectionism’ and ‘neurotic perfectionism’, clear themes have emerged. Striving for perfection means to focus on the process (which I’ve written about in the past).
The striving perfectionist uses her energy to move toward the goal, as opposed to worrying about the outcome. In contrast, the neurotic perfectionist ruminates on past performance that was imperfect. She judges herself harshly, talks down to herself, and ends up feeling defeated, deflated, and less-than. She gets ‘stuck’, and not only does this lead to feeling bad, it has deleterious effects on future performance!
Set goals. Don’t shy away from your aspirations – but be intentional. Specifically, I recommend setting a goal, and being as specific as possible. Identify a timeline for your goal, and check in with a friend, gym-buddy, or professional about it – is this realistic?
Set yourself up for a 99% chance of success.If and when life gets in the way (catching a cold, going away for a long weekend, having a “pizza-emergency”) be flexible and adjust your goal so that you can stay on track with progress and continue to move forward. Any thought process or goal that keeps your focus on the past, and makes you feel bad about yourself, is a total waste of your time.
I cannot stress this enough: when you get down on yourself, and stuck there, you are wasting your time, and your energy, and you have nothing to gain. When you do have a setback or a failure, remember it’s just data and use the information to adjust your goals, reframe your intention, and keep it movin’!
Do Not Concern Yourself with Imperfection
Researchers and optimists agree: getting down on yourself for not being “good enough” is useless. Over the years, I’ve heard clients tell me they think it is productive to beat themselves up or shame themselves after a “failure”.
Some describe this as punishment, or penance for imperfection. Punishment is significantly less effective than reward. Reinforcing what you do correctly will keep you on track in the long run; punishment may have some temporary, short-term benefits, but those will quickly lose their power, forcing you to either get meaner with yourself, or abandon your goal altogether.
If you get stuck with perfectionistic concerns, here are some quick tips:
1) Turn the page: Remind yourself you’re wasting precious time and energy! Re-focus on the next opportunity to work toward your goal.
2) Re-frame “failure:” It’s just information. Falling short of your goal doesn’t mean anything about your worth, your value, or your capacity for improvement. It’s just a data-point that is relevant to that particular performance. Process it, consider how it can inform future goals and performances, and then move on.
3) Lighten up!: There are many benefits to being a perfectionist… so maximize the benefits and minimize the drawbacks. If you’re getting all bent out of shape about being 10 pounds short of a PR, or 3 pounds shy of your goal weight, simmer down! Your missing the forest for the trees. You’re missing out of feeling strong, healthy, happy, and fabulous, all because you’re off by a few digits. How silly can you be?!
Good luck!
NOTE: Lisa will be co-presenting with Artemis Scantalides on the I Am Not Afraid to Lift (The Power of Mindset Edition) on Sunday, November 6th at my studio here in Boston. Only 2-3 spots are available.4
Flett, G.L. & Hewitt, P.L. (2005). The perils of perfectionism in sports and exercise. Current Directions in Psychological Science, 14, 14-18.
Hill, A.P., Gotwals, J.K., Witcher, C.S. & Leyland, A.F. (2015). A qualitative study of perfectionism among self-identified perfectionists in sport and the performing arts. Sport, Exercise, and Performance Psychology, 4, 237-253.
Stoeber, J. (2014). Perfectionism in sport and dance: A double-edged sword. International Journal of Sport Psychology, 45, 385-394.
Stoeber, J. & Otto, K. (2006). Positive conceptions of perfectionism: Approaches, evidence, challenges. Personality and Social Psychology Review, 10, 295-319.
About the Author
Dr. Lisa Lewis is a licensed psychologist with a passion for wellness and fitness. She earned her doctorate in counseling psychology with a specialization in sport psychology at Boston University, and her doctoral research focused on exercise motivation. She uses a strength-based, solution-focused approach and most enjoys working with athletes and athletically-minded clients who are working toward a specific goal or achievement.
Lisa is also a certified drug and alcohol counselor, and has taught undergraduate courses as an adjunct professor at Salem University, Wheelock College, and Northeastern University in courses including exercise psychology, developmental psychology, and abnormal psychology. Lisa currently works as the assistant director of a college counseling center in Boston, MA, and she has a small private practice in the nearby town of Brookline.
As a new addition to the “I Am Not Afraid To Lift” workshop, Lisa will integrate mental skills into the physical skills training of the day. Mental skills can enhance performance, maximize motivation and prevent barriers like negative thinking, fear, and self-doubt from interfering with goals.
Dr. Lisa Lewis is a licensed psychologist with a passion for wellness and fitness. She earned her doctorate in counseling psychology with a specialization in sport psychology at Boston University, and her doctoral research focused on exercise motivation. She uses a strength-based, solution-focused approach and most enjoys working with athletes and athletically-minded clients who are working toward a specific goal or achievement.
