Fit People Go To Prison More Often (Unless You’re R. Kelly)
From the New York Times:
A new study that looked at the physical characteristics of about 5,000 Arkansas inmates found that most were athletically fit when they entered prison. The researchers referred to them as mesomorphs.
Oh, there were also endomorphs and ectomorphs fatties and skinnies to the lay people. But the study found that they were less likely to have been imprisoned for violent crimes.
Researchers used body mass index, a measure of height and weight, to assess fitness and found that mesomorphs make up an unusually large percentage of the prison population, from 62 to 73 percent.
Dr. Jeffrey Walker, of the University of Arkansas stated, “those who are fit may have personalities that are more likely to make them violent.”
Lets put this theory to the test.
Ectomorph: “Dude, how can I put on some weight?”
Me: “Eat more.”
Ectomorph: “But dude, I eat like all day long.”
Me: “What did you have for breakfast this morning?”
Ectomorph: “I didn’t have time to eat breakfast because I had to go for my 15 mile run.”
Me: *Blank stare. Complete silence. Crickets chirping. Walks away. Gets into car and drives to nearest Home Depot.*
One hour later:
Me: *taps on ectomorph’s shoulder*
Ectomorph: “Oh, hey. What’s up? You never answered my ques……”
Me: Brick. To. Face
UPDATE: So yeah, just got out of court and I was sentenced to two years in prison. Huh. I guess this Dr. Walker guy is onto something. On the bright side of things, there’s a bunkbed…..I call top!