Miscellaneous Miscellany Monday (Snow Storms, Fat Loss Programming, My New Project)

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Writers Note: I started this blog post this morning, but then realized I had to shovel my car out, so I had to wait till later to finish it. Now I’m at work, and don’t have time to write down everything that I wanted to say, so here’s the abridged version (part II tomorrow, I promise).

1. I know I’ve been less than exemplary with my blog the past two weeks, but rest assured it’s with good reason. You see, between walking around Boston Common singing Christmas carols (with my shirt off) and helping old ladies shovel off their sidewalks (with my shirt off), I’ve had very little time to educate my readers on the finer points of beta fatty acid oxidation and such. Which is to say, does anyone really care what the hell beta fatty acid oxidation really is? NERD alert.

2. With the new year right around the corner, it’s inevitable that we’re going to be inundated with countless fat loss programs (with silly titles) by personal trainers looking to make a quick buck. First off, let me be clear, I am in no way opposed to people making money online. However, what I am opposed to are shitty programs with no rhyme or reason to them. I mean, take for example this program I came across the other day geared towards beginners looking to focus on fat loss. This is programmed as part of Day #1:

A1. T-Push-Ups: 15-20 reps

A2. Jump Squats: 15-20 reps

First off let me just state the obvious; this is stupid. Like Sarah Palin “I read all sorts of newspapers and magazines, don’t ya know?” stupid. The person who wrote this manual deserves to have his face smacked off his face. There is no way I would ever program this for anyone who is just starting out, let alone for someone who is overweight. Essentially what this program is going to do is set up its target audience to fail. The vast majority who attempt it won’t be able to tolerate the fatigue, and lets be honest, their form is going to be atrocious. I wouldn’t be surprised if 50% end up hurting themselves.

It just boggles my mind how irresponsible some trainers can be. It almost seems their main goal is to make people sore and/or puke, which is just insane The last thing you want to do to someone who is just starting out is to turn them off to exercise right off the bat. Come on trainers, you’re better than that. I think.

3. We do a ton of med ball work with our clients at Cressey Performance (especially with our baseball guys), and oftentimes I get asked what types of drills we have them do. One of our favorites is the Crow Hop into Overhead Throw seen below:

The key here is to pretend you’re throwing the ball at someone/something you really, really hate. In my case it could be anyone of the following: The Queen of England (just cause), snakes, Keanu Reeves, Megatron, people who budge in line, the boyfriend of the hot WB Mason sales girl that comes to the facility every few months (I don’t even know him, but I can only assume he’s a dork), and every person in one of those cheesy Old Navy holiday commercials.

Side note: It’s important to try to get “crow hops” onto BOTH legs when doing this exercise. Shoot for 4×4 on each side.

4. A bunch of the guys at CP are going to give Warp Speed Fat Loss* another go round starting in January, and I decided to hop on the “lets get shredded so girls will want to hang out with us” train as well.

My friend Jen Heath is going to write out my diet plan for me, and I’ll take care of my programming since I have to work around two knees that don’t like me at the moment. I’m aptly going to name this experiment, Project “Tony Gets Even More Sexified,” and I’ll definitely be doing a before/after blog post with updates in the middle. Should be fun.

And just an FYI, Warp Speed Fat Loss does NOT apply to my thoughts above on fat loss programs

5. Is it me, or is Jennifer Aniston getting hotter with age?

Seriously!!! She could appear in an ad for industrial strength penis shrinking cream, and I’d add it to my protein shake in a heartbeat. Scumptious!

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Plus, get a copy of Tony’s Pick Things Up, a quick-tip guide to everything deadlift-related. See his butt? Yeah. It’s good. You should probably listen to him if you have any hope of getting a butt that good.

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