Categoriespersonal training

The Lost Art of Saying I Don’t Know in the Fitness Industry

“I don’t know.”

Three words a large swath of fitness professionals have a wretched relationship with.

Copyright: salamatik / 123RF Stock Photo

The Lost Are of Saying “I Don’t Know”

The prevailing thought, it seems, is that admitting ignorance is a sign of weakness or that you’ll somehow lose credibility points for not knowing the answer to a client’s question…

…as if the fitness industry’s equivalent of Unella is stealthily lurking somewhere to shame walk you down a corridor for not memorizing every delicate step of the Kreb’s Cycle.

Shame, shame, SHAME!!

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Listen, there are some things a personal trainer/coach likely should have a firm grasp on:

  • The muscles of the rotator cuff?…✅
  • How to program around low back or knee pain?…✅
  • How many calories in a gram of protein?…✅
  • Who Mel Siff is?…✅

But you can’t expect to know EVERYTHING about anything:

  • Where’s the Levator ani located?…🤷‍♂️
  • And, more importantly, what the hell is the Levator ani?…🤷‍♂️1
  • What are the benefits and pitfalls of concurrent periodization?…🤷‍♂️
  • What’s the atomic number of Adamantium?…🤷‍♂️

Maybe you knew the answer to all of the above, and if so, can we hang out? But if not, and on the off-chance someone in your life  – whether it be a client, colleague, or your second cousin on your stepmother’s side  – asked, and you didn’t know the answer, how would you handle it?

Rather than play hero, pretend to be an all-knowing smarty pants Spartan Jedi Wizard deadlifting demigod, and manufacture some false, pseudo-intellectual response…I’ve found it to be best practice to be honest with clients.

Simply put, to say…

“I don’t know.”

This bleeds of authenticity and I’ve found that, 100% of the time, clients appreciate and respect the honesty. Kind of like when you do someone a solid and let them know they’ve got something in their teeth.

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I’ve never lost a client because I was unable to answer their question regarding the functions of the psoas muscle or, I don’t know, the efficacy of heart rate variability training in undertrained grizzly bears.

Namely because 1) I TOTALLY KNOW WHAT THE FUNCTIONS OF THE PSOAS ARE and 2) the latter is ridiculous.

But too, it just never happened.

If I don’t know the answer to a question or a client asks to dive deeper into something I have little expertise in, I’ll say “I don’t know,” followed by “but I know someone who does. I’ll ask them.”

This happened to me not long ago.

I had a client express interest in learning more about the Olympic lifts. Up until that point she and I had been working together for several months focusing on the basic barbell lifts – deadlift, squat, bench press, etc.

She was a stark newbie when she walked into CORE the first day but had made a ton of progress in a short amount of time. It wasn’t long before she started asking whether or not I’d be willing to add OLY lifts into her programming?

Young, strong, female weight lifter practicing snatch in weight room with heavy barbell.

(cue crickets chirping on my end)

Full Disclosure: I don’t have a lot of experience performing – let alone teaching – the OLY lifts. I even wrote about why I don’t include OLY lifting in my programs HERE. TL/DR version: I’m more qualified to fly an Apache Helicopter than teach a passable barbell split jerk.

Without blinking an eye I connected her to a handful of coaches in the Boston area more equipped to help her out.

And it couldn’t have worked out more splendidly.

She sent me the most gracious email a few weeks later saying how much fun she was having and that she had “found her people.”

Some people reading may say something to the effect of “dude, Tony, you lost a client. That’s the opposite of what I want to happen to me.”

Touche.

In the literal sense I did lose a client.

However, what do you think is the likely outcome when she’s approached by one of her family members or friends or colleagues asking if she knows of any reputable trainers in the area?

She’s going to refer them to this guy that’s what’s going to happen.2

If There’s Two Things to Remember From This Post…

1. Your clients won’t care that you don’t know the answer to something. Saying “I don’t know” is the responsible response.

Followed by “but I will try my best to find the answer for you.”

2. Don’t think pointing your clients towards other fitness professionals (especially locally) is a poor business decision. In my experience every time I’ve done so has resulted in the same client referring more people to me. Once they understand you have their best interests in mind they’ll often reward you with unabashed loyalty.

3. Just to be clear: I don’t know shit about fuck when it comes to the Kreb’s Cycle.

CategoriesMotivational

Discomfort Builds Growth

Outside of majoring in “Humanities” during my first few years in college, and taking the obligatory Introduction to Philosophy class to fulfill my course requirements, I don’t consider myself much of a philosophical person.

I’m not one to sit around and contemplate the meaning of life, why we’re all here, or to argue about which came first: the CrossFitter or the comment from the CrossFitter that they do CrossFit?

I tend to leave those sort of things to people who are way smarter than myself and drive Priuses.

Start a conversation with me on Star Wars mythology or the writings of Kurt Vonnegut (or bring up the best Jason Bourne fight scenes) and you’ve got my attention.

So, yeah, I don’t consider myself a philosophical person per se. I put my socks on like everyone else. But something struck a chord and jostled my thought process recently as I was listening to a podcast.

And it was this one simple quote: “Discomfort builds growth.”

Copyright: parilovv

Discomfort Builds Growth

Let it sink in for a moment.

The easy analogy here – and most fitting – are the things we do in the weight room.

I don’t know about you, but I don’t go to the gym day in and day out because it tickles.

I do it because I want to feel strong, look strong, and have pecs that can deflect bullets.

However, how many times have we noticed someone do the same routine, with the same exercises, in the same order, with the same amount of weight, routinely, who look exactly the same and are just as strong as they were three years ago?

Hell, I’m sure everyone reading knows a friend, family member, colleague, arch nemesis who falls under this umbrella.

Maybe it’s even…YOU!?

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I’ve worked with countless people in my career as a personal trainer and strength coach.

98.5% of them “get it.”

Meaning, they know they have to put in the work in order to get the results they’re after. They don’t just expect muscles to magically appear or to walk underneath a rainbow and lose five dress sizes.

They have to EARN it.

They’ll do what they’re told – throw some barbells around, push the Prowler, swing some kettlebells, perform endless numbers of push-ups and chin-ups, tolerate Wu-Tang Wednesdays – and love to hate it.

It not so many words (and at the risk of being overly cliche)…

They’re Comfortable With Being UN-Comfortable

This isn’t to say one must train to the point of passing out or shitting their liver in order to reap any benefits. That’s a bit much.

(anyone who knows me and is familiar with my writing knows how I roll as a coach: Easy Training is Good Training).

Conversely, just because you “showed up” and made an appearance at the gym doesn’t really mean anything.

Why drive to the gym only to walk on the treadmill?

For many, they’re lucky if they elevate their heart rate during their “workout” any higher than if they just stayed home and watched an episode of The Last of Us.

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Very generally speaking, those people who have physiques and fitness levels we most admire (and desire) are those who strive for, nay, ACCEPT discomfort.

It’s physiology.

The human body is a highly adaptive “machine.”  The reason why many people never seem to make routine progress in the gym is because they continue to do the same things they ALWAYS do. Even worse, they continue to do things that they’re good at or that’s “easy.”

I don’t blame them – it’s human nature.

I know I’ll catch some flak for saying this, but a glaring example would be people who tend to gravitate towards “cardio.”

Performing dedicated (steady state) cardiovascular work is important and it does serve as an component to a well-rounded fitness program. But I do feel it’s often drastically OVER-emphasized because, well, it’s easy.

And we’ve established that people like easy.

And while I don’t want to make this into some anti-cardio diatribe, one of the main reasons why I feel there comes a point of diminishing returns is because you have do MORE of it (steady state cardio) in order to get the same training effect.

Best cardio ever.

As one becomes more “efficient,” they have to do more work in order to burn the same amount of calories.

And just working out for the sake of burning calories is kinda lame.  As my friend Bryan Krahn has noted in the past:

Here’s a thought. Say you hit the treadmill for three 1-hour runs per week. What does it do? Well, it burns a bunch of calories, improves your cardio vascular capabilities, yadda yadda. Fantastic. And that’s about it.

Now let’s say you swap the cardio for three 1-hour martial arts classes. You’ll burn a similar amount of calories but also work different movement planes and improve flexibility — things that basic gym training doesn’t address.

(A big part of my training code is to expose yourself to new things, identify any weaknesses, and then address them. I call it having no holes in your game.)

The same mindset can be applied to lifting weights as well.  In order for a muscle to grow you need to apply enough of a stimulus to break down the actual muscular filaments – actin and myosin. Assuming ample recovery (and calories) are applied…you progressively get bigger and stronger.

Again, many trainees miss the mark here.

There’s a lack of intent and purpose in the way a lot of people train. I can’t help but think some people feel so long as you walk into a gym and look at a dumbbell you’re going to get results.

This Applies to Life Too

Throwing myself in the spotlight I can think of a handful of scenarios where leaning into some discomfort served a greater good in my life.

Some of you reading will remember a time when meeting someone over the internet was borderline creepy. By today’s standards it’s no big deal, but back in 2004 it would raise some eyebrows.

I met Eric Cressey on the internet.

Eric and I knew each other via various training forums online (most notably T-Nation.com). When he graduated from UCONN he landed a job as a personal trainer in Ridgefield, CT.

I was still in central NY working as a trainer myself and Eric got a hold of me one day and mentioned that he had gotten a job at a gym and that the people who owned it were still looking for another trainer. Knowing that I wanted to get the hell out of dodge, he thought that maybe I should look into it?

I did.

I was hired, and in less than two weeks, despite some major reservations and second guessing myself, I was moving to Connecticut to start a new job with a dude I had met over the internet and whom I had only met once in person.

Understandably, I had to assure my mom that I wasn’t going to get murdered.

In the end, I think it all turned out pretty well…;o)

And then there was the one time my wife, Lisa, had me try a sip of her whisky I had brought home from my trip to Scotland. It was like taking a sip of battery acid. Disgusting. The only thing I grew in that case was more chest hair.

I guess you win some, you lose some.

Discomfort, trying new things, taking risks, doing things differently, challenging yourself…both in the gym and in life.

Maybe that’s the missing link for some people.