CategoriesMotivational psychology

Ready. Mindset. Lift: Mindfulness For Optimal Workouts

Today’s post comes courtesy of reader’s favorite, and my wife, Dr. Lisa Lewis. Both Lisa and Artemis Scantalides will be presenting their I Am Not Afraid To Lift (the Power of Mindset Edition) at Dauntless Fitness & Health in Severna Park, Maryland on April 2, 2016.

For more information and to register go HERE.

Ready. Mindset. Lift

Your day is chock full of tasks, distractions, and to-do’s. Between family and friends, your work, and your workouts, all those texts, emails, television, and other technology-based diversions force you to focus on one thing while doing another.

Multi-tasking is currently the norm in our busy western lifestyles, and although many of us feel that we’re highly skilled at attending to multiple chores and responsibilities at one time, research has demonstrated were actually not very good at it (Medina, 2014).

While attention deficits are higher and multi-talking is standard, the most popular intervention in psychology today is mindfulness.

Applied to many medical and mental health concerns, Mindfulness-Based Interventions (MBI’s) have been used to treat anxiety, depression, insomnia, disordered eating, stress management, (Dimidjian & Segal, 2015) and problems with attention (Zylowska, 2012).

Universally, it seems that regardless of how we struggle, one of the current ways to help ourselves is to get mindful.

But what does being mindful even mean? Good question:

“Mindfulness is about being fully aware of whatever is happening in the present moment… mindfulness consists of cultivating awareness of the mind and body and living in the here and now… while mindfulness as a practice is historically rooted in ancient Buddhist meditative disciplines, it’s also a universal practice that anyone can benefit from… some of the greatest benefits of mindfulness come from examining your mental processes in this way, observing them dispassionately, as a scientist would (Stahl & Goldstein, 2010).”

Now, keeping the idea of mindfulness in mind, let’s take a look at your workouts.

Consider the time just before, during, and immediately after your training sessions.

1) What are you doing on the way to your workout? Singing in the car to the 90’s on 9 XM radio (my personal favorite)? Making a to-do list of things to handle tomorrow at work that you forgot about today? Listening to voicemails or catching up on texts? Worrying? Resenting? Inhaling your lunch?

2) When you arrive at the gym, what your the pre-workout routine? Makeup off, hair up, workout clothes on? Is there a special playlist? Magic lifting shoes? A sexy Zoolander look and pec flex all by yourself in the locker room mirrors?

3) And how about during your warm up? Are you focused on the present, noticing how your body responds to stretches, mobility drills, and foam rolling? Are you using positive self-talk to get excited about your deadlifts, or are you still in your inbox, mentally reviewing tasks and to-do’s?

Are you visualizing a perfect RDL, or the content of your refrigerator back at home?

4) Most importantly, how do you feel while all this is going on?

If you are half-awake, hungry, frustrated, or just downright not-feelin’-it, the quality of your workout suffers. More importantly, you miss the opportunity to be ready and present for a highly valued part of your life!

If you’re reading this article and making it to the gym to train regularly, you care. You’re into it. The point is, your values and goals should be on your mind and WITH YOU before, during, and just after your training sessions.

Mentally prepare yourself for your workouts by getting mindful, and practice staying that way before, during, and after your time at the gym.

Let’s review these four phases of your training, and how mindfulness can apply:

Mental Preparation

On your drive, walk, or subway ride to wherever you workout, begin to think about what you’ll be doing, and what you want out of that time and effort. As one of my private clients once taught me, create a space for the workout, with your thoughts.

If you love music, select a song or playlist that will boost your motivation and energy level. Tailor your playlist to your preferred energy level or “vibe” for the best workout for you (this may include Rage against the Machine or Nora Jones).

Remember your fitness or training goals, and connect with whatever affect you have about that (pumped, fired-up, ambitious, and so on). While you drive, change clothes, and otherwise get ready to being training, tune in to the content of your thoughts and feelings. “Weed out” anything unrelated to training, if you can. Make a conscious decision to be present during your workout, and focused on the processes and sensations of your time in the gym, as opposed to people, places, and things outside of the present moment.

Mental Rehearsal During Your Warm-up

Whatever your warm-up routine includes, consider adding a warm-up for your mind. Mental rehearsal, or visualization, enhances performance (Wilson, Peper & Schmid, 2006).

Used by professional athletes and Zen masters alike, rehearsing in your mind can be just as useful as in-the-flesh deliberate practice.

While your mobilizing and foam rolling, create an image in your mind of your “big movement” for the day. Recall an optimal experience you’ve had with this lift, or mentally rehearse all of the technical components of that lift. In my private practice, I routinely create a “script” with my clients so that they have a written narrative for these rehearsals.

Maintain Mindfulness – Be Ready and Present During Your Workout

As you move through your reps and sets, what’s going on up in that noodle of yours?

If you drift away from your pull-ups and into your upcoming work presentation for the finance team, just notice it, recognize that your PowerPoint slides about the TPS report have nothing to contribute to your goal, and return to the present moment.

If this feels difficult, mentally rehearse the exercise, and use self-talk to consciously think your way through the movement.

For example, you could use one of my favorite coaching cues from Arteims, “Get tight to Get light!, and focus on those words during the execution of your pull up. Remember that mindfulness is a practice – not a perfect state at which to arrive and never leave.

Review the Data

Upon finishing your workout, you may quickly move on to the next task, begin to think about a pressing errand, or free fall into worries and stressors outside of the gym.

As you grab your bag, jump in your car or on the train, and move on with your day, try to take at least 60 seconds to evaluate what just happened.

How did it go? Just like a scientist reviewing the data, you have a fresh set of experiences to observe.

Anything ouchie or awesome today?

Did you increase your weight or reps on an exercise?

If it was a tougher workout than usual, or just no fun, what could have been contributing factors?

These observations can help to acknowledge elements that help and harm your workout quality, and to identify new goals for future performances.

Many of us go elsewhere during our day.

Focusing on the future and worrying about what may happen brings anxiety; reciprocally, thoughts stuck in the past bring us regret, disappointment, and feelings of depression. The present moment is where it’s at!

When you are at work – be at work. When you are with your loved ones – be in the room and tuned into the conversation. When you are at the gym, keep your mind in your body, on your weights, and aligned with your goals and the process of achieving them.

You may be reading this and thinking, “easier said than done!!”

Remember that we are what we practice doing, and so your mind is currently automated to go and do wherever it is going, and whatever it is doing; to change that pattern requires deliberate practice and conscious effort on your part – just like changing a hip hinge pattern.

If you decide to practice mindfulness before, during and/or after your workouts, remember that you are developing your mental muscles. It will take time.

On stressful days, or days when you are hungry, angry, lonely, or tired (HALT), you may return to your automated thoughts and foci. Try not to judge that. It’s just data. You can notice it, let it go, and come back to your present moment and the task-at-hand.

Remember that your workout belongs to you – not your boss, your significant other, your kids, or the other important relationships that often hijack our thoughts. Compartmentalize your thoughts so that you can think about your body, your health, and your fitness while you are actively working on that part of your life. And always, always, remember to enjoy!

Dimidjian, S. & Segal, Z (2015). Prospects for a clinical science of mindfulness-based intervention. American Psychologist, 70, 7, 593-620.

Medina, J. (2014). Brain Rules. Pear Press, Seattle.

Stahl, B. & Goldstein, E. (2010). A mindfulness-based stress reduction workbook. New Harbinger Publications, Inc. Oakland, CA.

Wilson, V., Peper, E., & Schmid, A. (2006). Strategies for training concentration. Book Chapter from Applied Sport Psychology, Williams, J. ED. McGraw-Hill, NY.

Zylowska, L. (2012). The mindfulness prescription for adult ADHD: an 8-step program for strengthening attention, managing emotions, and achieving your goals. Trumpeter Books, Boston.

CategoriesStuff to Read While You're Pretending to Work

Stuff To Read While You’re Pretending To Work: Kicking Off 2016

It feels so weird to be typing the numbers “2016” doesn’t it?

Time truly does fly.

This year will mark a full decade living in Boston for me.

In that time I’ve survived living with Eric Cressey1, helped co-found Cressey Sports Performance, never used the phrase “wicked pissah” once in a sentence, and have had the luxury of witnessing the RedSox win two World Series, the Pats play three SuperBowls (and win one), the Celtics win one NBA Championship, and the Bruins with one NHL Championship.2.

2016 also marks the 30 year anniversary of when ten year old Tony vowed he’d become an honorary member of G.I. Joe.

That didn’t happen. But only because my Mom wouldn’t let me.3 Thanks a lot Mom. You RUINED MY LIFE!!!!!

[slams door]

Anyways, it’s 2016…and I h0pe everyone’s year has started off with a bang; or at the very least some arbitrary Resolution that you’ve already dismissed eight days in….;o)

A Few Things First

I’m a minimalist when it comes to supplementation. I’d tend to fall into the same camp as Alwyn Cosgrove whenever I’m asked about them and  generally respond as follows:

“Supplements are progress enhancers, not progress starters.”

If your current nutrition and training regimen isn’t getting the job done or inching you closer to your goal(s), then taking Gogi Berry Extract laced with diluted unicorn tears and belly button lint from a post-menopausal dragon fire roasted over a live volcano isn’t going to be the “x” factor.

This isn’t to say supplements don’t have a time or place and that there’s little efficacy in their use. That’s just crazy talk.

Five Supplements I Can’t Live Without. Seriously, I’d Die! – Part I

Five Supplements I Can’t Live Without. Seriously, I’d Die! – Part II

However, if you click the links above (DO IT!), you’ll note I don’t recommend anything too out of the ordinary or quack(ish). Actually, nothing is out of the ordinary or quack(ish). Namely, because I’m not an a-hole.

On the same topic, one supplement and company I can’t recommend enough is Athletic Greens.

Ingesting a high-quality greens product daily is just about one of the the best “cover your bases” healthy habits you can implement – outside of the Dan John staples of flossing and wearing your seatbelt.

Real food is going to trump any supplement, but at least here you ensure you ingest a cornucopia of good ingredients for your body in a convenient, quick-n-easy manner. And the best part is that this greens product doesn’t taste like seaweed blasted out of a whale’s rectum.

It actually, you know, tastes good as a stand alone thing.

Nevertheless, it’s something I take daily – as does my wife – and it’s also something I recommend to all my athletes and clients.

As it happens, Athletic Greens is running a special sale at the moment where you get a FREE trial (some travel packets to test the taste out yourself) in addition to a generous discount off the original price.

For more information you can go HERE.

Updated Speaking Engagements

I finally posted all of my upcoming speaking engagements in 2016 onto my website HERE.

Two that are right around the corner are:

Motivation and Movement Lab (hosted by Mark Fisher Fitness) – I had a BLAST speaking at this event last year, and if it’s any consolation I was up until 3AM the night of. Those people can party.

Complete Hip & Shoulder Workshop w/ Dean Somerset (Toronto) – Dean and I taught this course four times last year, and this will be the first one in 2016.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b78JdzzvARg

 

For the record (in case you want to take advantage of the Early Bird special) we’ll also be invading SEATTLE in April.

Okay, lets dive into the year’s first list of stuff to read…..

GGS Spotlight: Dr. Lisa Lewis – via GirlsGoneStrong.com

Lets give it up for my wife on being featured on Girls Gone Strong last week. Woo-hoo!

I am incredibly proud of this, and it goes without saying I feel Lisa is someone who has many, many positive and encouraging things to say to help better prepare and empower women on the benefits of strength training.

As a licensed psychologist, Lisa is pretty much a Jedi when it comes to helping people better understand and change their behaviors. Too, she’s very much a champion of peeling back the complicated onion when it comes to each individual’s mindset and why, sometimes, they’re their own worst enemy when it comes to progress in the gym.

This article is just the tip of the iceberg and keep your eyes peeled for her name – along with Artemis Scantalides – as they combine forces for a handful of I Am Not Afraid To Lift Workshops.

Why Tom Brady’s Diet Is Absolutely Absurd – Dr. Mike Roussell

Remember: I live in Boston. So saying anything remotely defamatory of football Jesus is borderline cause for banishment.

However, I felt this was an excellent article by Mike and a fair “assessment” of things.

For another in-depth analysis, check out Adam Bornstein’s take HERE.

Strength Training Program Design 101: Exercise Selection and Order – Jordan Syatt

Jordan did an amazing job at breaking down a very long-winded and complicated topic.

Categoriescoaching Female Training psychology rant

Stop “Should-ing” All Over Yourself

This past weekend I attended the I Am Not Afraid To Lift Workshop at Iron Body Studios in West Roxbury, MA. It’s an event created by Artemis Scantalides geared mainly towards women – although men are encouraged to attend too – that teaches strength training as a form of empowerment, a road to improved confidence, and a less arduous avenue towards increased autonomy.

(In addition to giving the attendees any excuse to flex their biceps whenever possible).

It shouldn’t take more than 1.7 seconds to find where I’m located in this picture.

What made this past weekend particularly special for me was that my wife, Dr. Lisa Lewis (located front row, 3rd from left, next to Artemis, on her right), was a co-presenter invited to speak on the topic of mindset, dealing with negative self talk, and to elucidate further on some of the psychological hurdles that many trainees tend to encounter in the weight room…and in life.

As someone who works with a lot of women and who has long championed the idea that strength training is a good thing and something that should be embraced and not euthanized in lieu of buzz words like “toned,” “long,” “lean,” and “sexy”…I felt this was a perfect melding of worlds, and something there’s a massive need for.

Artemis speaking to the intricacies of the deadlift, squat, swing, press, and chin-up/pull-up – both from a coaching/cueing and program design perspective – and Lisa speaking to many of the pervasive mental road blocks many women and men battle on a daily basis which CAN be managed with some easily implemented drills and strategies.

“Should-ing” On Ourselves

While speaking with an attendee about her anxieties and frustrations about not being able to hit a specific fitness goal, Lisa commented, “It sounds like your “SHOULD-ING” all over yourself, instead of feeling energized by your goal.”

The entire room erupted in laughter4. I’m lucky I wasn’t drinking anything at the time, because this totally would have been me:It was an awesome line, but not a Lisa original.

She borrowed it from Dr. Albert Ellis who’s the man responsible for something referred to as RET, or Rational Emotive Therapy. RET was popular decades ago, before CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy) came on the scene. Ellis would focus on “irrational thoughts” as the source of our anxieties and negative emotions.

I have to assume there’s a book somewhere out there with big, fancy words or entire courses describing this type of therapy in more glamorous detail, but in other words it can be broken down like this:

The origin of your problem isn’t actually the problem… it’s how you’re thinking about the problem.

Some common health and fitness examples may include:

“I’m not fit until I can run a marathon or deadlift 2x bodyweight.”

“I’m not in shape until I have a six pack or I’m “x” dress size.”

“I have to workout every day.”

“If I don’t achieve my goal of hitting a bodyweight chin-up, I’m a failure.”

Lisa interviewing an attendee on her “mental roadblocks” and anxiety about hitting a specific fitness goal.

Many of us form these beliefs and inevitably turn them into doctrine:

Who says they’re real in the first place?

Who says you have to deadlift 2x bodyweight?

Who says you have to train everyday?

Who says you have to lose 10 lbs. in order to look good in a bikini?

Who said that? Who says these rules?

A trainer? An article your read on the internet? Some magazine cover? A Kardashian?

Even me?

Even if a reliable source makes a professional recommendation about what you “should” be doing – does that mean it’s come down from the mountain? No5. My goal as a fitness professional is to help – offer ideas, alternatives, new ways to approach your strength goals. But if something I (or anyone else) recommends doesn’t help, and in fact makes you stressed, feel bad, or NOT WANT to pursue your fitness goals, THROW IT OUT!

Try a different approach.

It’s All Made Up

The thing to point out – especially as it relates to YOUR goals and YOUR happiness – is that there are no rules. Everything – more or less – is someone else’s belief. Someone else’s opinion.

[Not coincidentally to help sell an ebook, or DVD, or Gluten-free, GMO, organic, Acai Pills soaked in Unicorn tears.]

That doesn’t mean it’s right for you.

As Lisa notes:

“Buying into a “rule” that makes you unhappy is the problem.”

And this is something that permeates into other aspects of our lives as well; not just fitness.

We make rules for ourselves – often irrationally and without much thought – and make a habit of measuring our happiness, sense of well-being, and worse, our overall sense of self-worth on our ability to successfully cross these rules off like a checklist:

  • I have to – should – be married by the time of 28.
  • I have to – should – make Dean’s List every semester.
  • I have to – should–  be making “x” amount of money per year.
  • I have to – should – get caught up on Game of Thrones6.

Bringing the discussion back to health and fitness, according to Lisa:

“If “shoulding on yourself” is messing you up and makes you feel upset, then it’s time to reevaluate.”

That’s not the point of fitness. Don’t should on yourself.

If you can deadlift 290 lbs and your goal is 300, are you any less accomplished or less of a person? Does all the hard work you put in for the past few months (or years) all of a sudden become moot or negated because of 10 lbs?

It’s true: we celebrate growth and progress in the gym by how much weight is on the bar. We take before and after pictures. We set goals and standards for ourselves, which is fantastic.

However, once we allow someone else’s arbitrary (even if well intentioned) rule from a magazine or book affect our well-being – I should be avoiding carbohydrates after 6PM (even though I feel lethargic and want to drop kick everyone in the face), I should be back squatting (even though it never feels good, despite good coaching) – and it becomes more toxic than helpful… it’s time to change your mindset.

In the end who cares? What matters and what’s important is that you recognize the process is every bit as important as the outcome.

It’s time to stop SHOULDING all over yourself.

How about you? Any “shoulds” out there that you’d like to share? Lisa says it can help to acknowledge and “put it out there” to help yourself start to reevaluate what really matters…

Thanks for your thoughts!

CategoriesMotivational psychology

Find Your Flow With Metacognition

My wife, Lisa, is taking the reigns today. She’s teaming with Artemis Scantalides for the I Am Not Afraid To Lift workshop at Iron Body Studios this November, and will speak to more of the psychological barriers that exist which often stagnate people’s progress in the gym.

We’re often our own worst enemy, and our inner dialogue can play tricky – sometimes harmful – games with our mind(s).

Lisa’s a psychologist (pretty much the best one in the world)7, leads an active lifestyle (she lifts heavy things and teaches several spin classes a week. So, you could say she’s a doctor who actually lifts), and sees a ton of value in combining both the power of the mind and the power of the barbell and using them in a synergistic manner.

In today’s post she discusses the concept of Metacognition, which sounds like an X-Men character but it’s not. It’s still cool though. You should totes read about it below.

Enjoy,.

Find Your “Flow” With Metacognition

Think about your thinking. Right at this moment.

What’s running through your mind right now? In that last minute? In the last hour? Sure, you’re reading these sentences, and maybe thinking about them, but you’re probably also thinking about one, or two, or seven other things, right now.

Before you continue reading, take a minute to observe your thoughts. If that’s too long, shoot for 30 seconds – you can set a timer. Don’t change them, just notice. Eyes open or closed, being still or moving… listen to your inner monologue…

What did you notice? Positive thoughts? Negative thoughts? Worries? Day dreams? Shoulds? To-Do’s? Hopes? Judgments?

Your thoughts are layered.

Your thoughts are constant.

Your thoughts influence your feelings and shape your behavior.

The exciting part is, you can control your very own thoughts and use them to improve every aspect of your life: work, relationships, and your training. You can learn what thoughts are helpful, and which aren’t, and then you can use them, shape them, change and augment them, to enhance your performance and your passion for your goals.

Thinking about thinking, or metacognition, is one of the nifty skills that set us humans apart from the rest of the animal kingdom. Not only can we be aware of our thoughts and reflect on them, but we can consciously change them.

When your thoughts are connected to the present moment, your emotions and behaviors will be as well. When your thoughts align with your goals, you are at your best; in your Zone! In other words, 100% percent of your thoughts are focused on your training. What do you do, or what can you do, to get yourself 100% present and focused on your workout?

Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi, one of my favorite psychologists, studied being in the zone, or what he calls “Flow” (1990). I’ve heard athletes and clients call it their “vibe”, or “space”, but whatever you call it, that’s the place you want to be when you train. Being in flow means that your mindset contains only constructive thoughts about the present moment. It means you and your thoughts are fully engaged in a goal-directed activity. Csikszentmihalyi explains:

“The optimal state of inner experience is one in which there is order in consciousness. This happens when psychic energy – or attention – is invested in realistic goals, and when skills match the opportunities for action. The pursuit of a goal brings order in awareness because a person must concentrate attention on the task at hand and momentarily forget everything else… By stretching skills, by reaching toward higher challenges, a person becomes an increasingly extraordinary individual” (p. 6).

When you train, what is the content of your thoughts?

One way I ask clients about this is by asking them to visualize their own mental pie chart.

If you can imagine a pie chart that represents all the various thoughts and appraisals you have during your training sessions, what are the slices inside the pie? How much space does each slice take up?

Are your thoughts unified and present, or are they splintered and disconnected from your workout?

Are you squatting while wondering about your email?

Swinging a kettlebell and taking an inventory of what’s in the fridge to whip up for dinner later on?

Thinking of some moron who never texted you back, or that tricky situation with your boss, and feeling angry or badly about yourself while trying to bench press?

Being one place in your mind and another with your body can impair performance and suck all the fun out of your training. When you are in the present moment, and your thoughts, feelings, and actions are lined up, fired up, and rolling along in your zone, you love it! It helps you, it changes you. It creates an opportunity for you to become better than you are.

The benefits to being in the zone, or flow, are both physical and psychological.

Your performance is maximized when you are present and focused on your training, which means you can train harder and progress more efficiently toward your goal. In addition, being in flow while training improves well-being, enjoyment of a goal directed activity, and leads to happiness, both in and out of the gym.

So, how about thinking about your thinking, and making some changes, in the name of better workouts?

Increased happiness? Bigger lifts?

To do this, you want to:

1. Minimize unrelated and distracting thoughts during your workout (those would be about errands, emails, relationships, and on and on) and,

2. Negative thoughts about your self, or negative self talk (“What if I can’t do the pull up and people at the gym see me look ridiculous?” or “I’ll never be able to deadlift 2x body weight.”).

Instead, your mental pie chart should be comprised of:

1. Task oriented thoughts and goals (“Inhale, hinge, sit back, drive, follow through!”), and

2. Positive self talk (“I can push myself and progress my training to do a pull up… I love to deadlift and know I can keep working hard and improve my PR!”)

Your prefrontal cortex is a highly evolved, super-fast, multitasking mammajamma, that communicates with your body, your awareness, and your emotions, to push you, drive you, and propel you toward your goals.

You may not be able to control your feelings, but you can control your thoughts. Then thoughts shape feelings. And feelings shape behavior. Your behavior will then impact your thoughts, and the cycle can either be facilitative or detrimental to your performance, your goals, and your enjoyment of your pursuits.

You can improve your training by honing your mental skills.

You can progress your mental fitness, or mental toughness, by creating a mindset that is 100% focused on your goals and fully present during your workout.

I hope thinking about your thinking can help you with your very next workout!

Just begin by noticing the content of your thoughts.

Visualize your mental pie chart, and take a look at what’s inside.

Then identify useful cues and positive statements about yourself and your training to facilitate your goals. Finally, practice! The same way you practice your physical skills, being 100% present and mentally tough means that you practice positive self talk over, and over, and over again. Thank you for reading.

I Am Not Afraid to Lift Workshop

Still interested in learning more?

I’ll be joining Artemis on November 7th  at Iron Body Studios just outside of Boston to provide psychological consultation at the I Am Not Afraid To Lift workshop!

Mental skills including positive self talk and goal setting techniques will be reviewed in conjunction with physical skills. If you’re interested, hope to see you there!

Learn more and register for I Am Not Afraid To Lift below…

Early bird ends on October 11, 2015.

Learn more about the workshop HERE.

Register for the workshop HERE under the “Events” tab.

About the Author

Dr. Lisa Lewis is a licensed psychologist with a passion for wellness and fitness. She earned her doctorate in counseling psychology with a specialization in sport psychology at Boston University, and her doctoral research focused on exercise motivation. She uses a strength-based, solution-focused approach and most enjoys working with athletes and athletically-minded clients who are working toward a specific goal or achievement.

Lisa is also a certified drug and alcohol counselor, and has taught undergraduate courses as an adjunct professor at Salem University, Wheelock College, and Northeastern University in courses including exercise psychology, developmental psychology, and abnormal psychology. Lisa currently works as the assistant director of a college counseling center in Boston, MA, and she has a small private practice in the nearby town of Brookline.

As a new addition to the “I Am Not Afraid To Lift” workshop, Lisa will integrate mental skills into the physical skills training of the day. Mental skills can enhance performance, maximize motivation and prevent barriers like negative thinking, fear, and self-doubt from interfering with goals.

CategoriesMotivational

Focus on the Process, NOT the Outcome

Boston is in the midst of yet another snow storm today. We’re expecting a foot on top of the two feet we got in last week’s storm.

It’s probably good timing given most people called into work this morning anyways due to the Pats winning the big game last night.

Such an awesome game last night, as most people expected. And don’t even get me started on that finish. Nail biter to say the least!

Tough call by Pete Carroll to throw the ball instead of handing it off to Beast Mode (Lynch) with 1-yd to go to win the SuperBowl, but deflategate talk notwithstanding, the Pats won the game fair and square.

Cue the duck boats

So today I have a guest post from Lisa, my fiance. She’s a psychologist and knows a thing or two when it comes to behaviors and behavior change. Today she sheds some light on goal setting and how many of us view it from the wrong context or window.

Enjoy!

Focus on the Process

Purposes for physical activity abound. Feeling good, living longer, getting stronger. Better blood pressure, in-check cholesterol, enhanced mood, improved sleep, increased sex drive, looking hot, and on and on and on.

Any way you slice it exercise = good stuff.

If you are searching for a goal to focus on and help you get active, stay active, or increase your activity, your options are endless!

Despite this plethora of purposes, many struggle to stay consistent with their physical activity pursuits…

Several weeks ago, we thought a bit about your “continuum” of motivation, and considered ALL of your motives to be important contributors to your ongoing success. Our motivations are often connected to an outcome – a goal.

Consider your motivations, and then identify at least one goal (or more) that you have recently identified as important to you…

What do you notice?

Hopefully, and similarly to motivation, you’ve identified a few goals, if not many, that cover a range of outcomes, like health, fitness, energy level, mood improvement, and last, but probably not least, appearance.

Lookin’ good. We all want to look good, or better. It’s part of human nature to want to improve ourselves and to be attractive to others. But if we are exclusively (or mostly) focused on weighing less, being a smaller/larger pant size, or looking more attractive to others, we might be set up for failure.

“How could this be?” you ask? “Since everything and everyone promotes the importance of exercising for improved appearance” you exclaim!?

Let me count the ways:

#1. It’s not really your goal anyway.

Where on earth did you get the idea that your thighs should be “longer and leaner”? I bet you some long, lean lady on TV. Who told you a 6-pack is the way to “finding a mate”? I bet some “Health” magazine columnist.

What is the true significance of dropping a dress size or a waist size? I bet you’ll tell me, “that’s what I want”, but is it really? Or have you been led to believe that some arbitrary appearance-based outcome is a means to a happy end?

We are inundated with images and messages about what bodies should look like all the live-long day. Not only do these messages include impressive, often impossible-to-replicate images, but also judgment, guilt, and the especially toxic shame.

Just last month, a large commercial gym (which shall go unnamed here) posted a sign in the lobby, “Santa, have you looked at yourself in the mirror lately?” To the sadistic and probably-sedentary marketing bastards who incite guilt and shame to boost membership sales, I ask, are we seriously shaming Santa?

Guilt and shame. Motivational?

In the short term, maybe. But over time, heck no.

In the long run, we internalize guilt and shame (a shift from, “I ate something bad” to “I am something bad”… from, I had a “dirty meal” to “I am a dirty fat slob”). Belief in the latter renditions of guilt and shame do nothing for getting us to the gym, and often enable giving up, sitting down, and digging in to a bigger, nastier bag of chips (Or as they say in 12-step programs, a case of the “F-it’s”).

Focusing only on an outcome (in the absence of other goals and motives) can be a thankless, fun-less, motivational vacuum that drains your moxie and damages your confidence and self-image.

#2. Appearance-related goals often focus on a superficial, societally valued outcomes.

How long can you stay in hot pursuit of bigger biceps, skinnier thighs, or a smaller belt size? A week? A month? Right up until the evening of the wedding/reunion/gala?

The motivation based on the reward of a few less pounds or a smaller dress size has an expiration date. There are a few different reasons for this, but first and foremost, external rewards lose their motivational power over time. Anyone who’s ever hit a goal weight and then has trouble staying consistent with his or her nutrition and training regimen knows this.

A “goal” to attain something society values isn’t a goal, so much as a “should”.

The surreptitious, insidious belief that you “should” be ‘skinny’, ‘lean’, or have a ‘6-pack’ of abs has gotten a hold of you. As Dr. Ellis, father of Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT) liked to sometimes say to his patients, “You’re just ‘should-ing’ on yourself”.

In other words, it is a B.S. goal – someone else’s goal that you have adopted (mistakenly) as your own.

Symptoms that you are “should-ing” on yourself with an outcome goal include A). Resentment toward the goal, or to those who have achieved the goal. B). Constantly “breaking rules” that make obtaining the goal impossible, and/or C). Feeling excessive guilt or shame about your “inability” to achieve the goal.

#3. You are focused on the outcome – instead of the process.

I know. “Eyes on the prize”. “Go for the Gold”, right?

It seems only natural to focus on the desired outcome in order to keep you pushing toward it. However, focusing on the outcome ONLY can drain motivation, impair performance, and actually have a negative impact on goal achievement. On the other hand, a focus on the process of your goals can be more enjoyable AND more effective in helping you achieve the outcome.

In other words, a process oriented goal focuses on the journey – not the destination.

Now, you don’t want to throw your outcome goal out with the motivational bathwater! Having a goal of any kind is good – you just want to mix it up, particularly if your goal is long term.

For example:

Let’s say you’re getting married in three months and 28 days (just for example8), and you want bring down your body fat percentage by 5%.

Focusing ONLY on your body fat percentage during the next four months will be no fun at all!

But as you monitor your macros and get after it at the gym, here are some in-the-moment goals that focus on the process and facilitate continued striving toward the ultimate outcome:

  • “When I squat today, my goal is to focus on form… brace abs, ass to grass, slow down, fast up…”
  • “My chin ups will rock the house this morning! Dead hang, solid core, exhale up quick, inhale down, slow…”
  • “I’m eating more slowly… noting how I feel before and after… I’m learning how to feed myself differently… how to fuel my workouts… I’m cooking new recipes that look delicious… I’m paying attention to how I feel after my meals…”

Do you see the difference? Your outcome goal focuses on the end. Your process goal focuses on the means. Your outcome goal involves the infinite form of a verb (“I want to be 10 pounds lighter” or “I want to have biceps that are two inches bigger).

Your process goal involves the gerund (I am squatting to depth” “I am pushing the barbell away from my chest, and pulling the barbell toward my chest”).

Remember, process goals can always act in the service of an outcome. Setting an outcome goal, but then focusing on the process can be worthwhile for a number of reasons:

  1. Performance enhancement: If you are thinking about the process of your workout, and not just the outcome, you can bet you’ll have better form, stronger focus, and increased resolve to add weight, reps, or both.
  1. Avoiding negativity: Sometimes, outcome orientation causes us to focus on what NOT to do (“I will not eat any Doritos this week!”). Guess what happens when you try to NOT think about Doritos? Or skipping a day at the gym? Or how bad you will feel if you don’t hit your goal? Focusing on the process is foolproof, because you’re ALWAYS thinking about what to do. Process orientation keeps you in the present moment, away from shoulds, guilt, and doubt.
  1. Enjoyment: It’s true! Being fully engaged in a goal-directed activity is an evidence-based way to be a happy camper. If you’re interested in learning more about this, check out Flow (2008), written by another favorite psychologist of mine, Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi.

So, want to give it a try?

If you do, you can think back to your current goal, which is probably an outcome. Now, take a moment to consider the processes that are involved in this outcome (lifting, learning, cooking, sleeping, and so on). Each week you work toward your outcome, choose a specific process to focus on.

For example, clean up your deadlift technique, finally learn how to “braise” all of that protein you need to be eating, or dedicate a workout to focusing on your breath, throughout all your reps and sets.

Experiment a little and see what you notice. Does the time fly by at the gym, because you were so wrapped up in exhaling and inhaling? Or could you add a few more chin-ups because your breath was so big and strong? Or do you just feel like a bad ass at the end of a focused, fully committed training session?

No matter your current goal, an overarching life long goal for you might be feeling good, living longer, or getting stronger. All of these are a process, and ideally a pursuit that never ends. So, enjoy your journey by focusing on your process.

Good Luck, and let me know how it goes!

CategoriesFemale Training Motivational

A Girlfriend’s Response To the Atrocity That Is Women’s Fitness Marketing

UPDATE: said girlfriend who wrote this post is now my wife. Holla!

It seems I ruffled a few feathers last week when I re-visited my 4 Things Your Girlfriend Should Know article.

For those who need to catch up:

1.  I wrote an article five years ago.
2.  It got sucked into some sort of internet blackhole, and no longer exists.
3.  I used part of the article for another blog post HERE.
4.  I had several people contact me to ask where they could find the rest of the article.
5.  Since I had the original draft saved on  my laptop, I decided to re-post the article on my blog.
6.  Apparently, to some, I’m a chauvinistic a-hole who thinks women are dumb, and don’t deserve the right to vote.
7.  Wait a second…..women can vote?????????
8.  Just kidding.
9.  See what I just did there?  That’s called sarcasm.

Anyways, even though it was a piece I wrote a while go, it was obviously new to a lot of people, and I was surprised at how extensively it made its rounds throughout the blogosphere.

All told, the article was received very well. But as to be expected, there was some backlash, and that’s cool.  I certainly don’t expect everyone to agree with me.

Some women felt I was insulting them and they didn’t like my tone. Well, to be honest, the article wasn’t originally intended FOR women; it was intended (as another reader commented) for the men who hear a lot of the same complaints from poorly-informed women all…the…freakin…time.

More to the point: my goal was to convey that, when all is said and done, lifting heavy things = sexy (or whatever adjective you prefer), regardless of whether you’re a Victoria Secret model or just someone who likes to train for the hell of it.

Nonetheless, my girlfriend and I had a really great discussion about all of this over the weekend during our Saturday “date night.” As far as conversations are concerned, it definitely ranked up there as one of our most intellectual (poop).

Afterwards, we kept the momentum and went and saw a subtitled film. Totally not kidding.

She’s kind of smart, finishing up her doctorate in sports psychology in a few short weeks, so I asked her if she’d be willing to write down her thoughts and share them here.

This is what she said.

[Smoke bomb, smoke bomb, exits stage right]

Unplugged From the Matrix

Women’s fitness is controversial. Women’s fitness is confusing. Women’s fitness may or may not even exist. Learning that women and men should be doing the same basic movements to be fit, healthy, and in shape is the same as being unplugged from the “Matrix”, if you will.

For those non-sci-fi-readers, it is the same as learning that the earth is round, when you have been told your entire life that the earth is flat. Tony’s article on 4 Things Your Girlfriend Should Know is controversial because it unplugs us from the Matrix – it exclaims that the earth is round!

The beauty of the article, aside from its truth, is the passion and controversy it provokes. I say bravo, in small part to Tony, but more so to the men and women who responded to the article – who have feelings about ‘women’s fitness’ – and who, most importantly, are insulted by ‘Women’s Fitness’.

To ‘Yuck’, I am glad that you are insulted…. Say more! What language does the industry have to speak to women? To educate women? To help women to be healthy and efficacious in their fitness endeavors? At present, and in my humble opinion, the language of bullshit. Women, and men, harangue us on television, in magazines, and on the internet with promises of “toned” “thin” “longer” muscles and body parts.

‘Yuck’, are you insulted by Strippercize? By Yoga Booty Ballet? By the Pussycat Dolls Workout? I am. I am insulted that the industry has tried to convince me all my life that steady-state, low-impact, sexualized strutting is the key to me becoming healthy, sexy, and thin.

I am insulted that I am bombarded with false information at my every turn, and I am angry that I believed and followed bullshit advice for so many years. What I love about your comments, and your message, is that it is insulting to be spoken to as if we are “stupid”.

What it means to be a woman, and what is acceptable for a woman to be, has changed dramatically in the eyes of both society and the fitness industry since the 1960’s. Unfortunately, not enough. We may not sit back and wait for popular culture to hand us true, evidence-based, ulterior-motive free information. We must ask for it. We must demand it. And we must make it known that we are pissed off, indignant, and insulted when we are given otherwise.

“NOBODY EVER TAUGHT US!” I applaud “Ambition” for putting it so plainly, and truthfully. In light of the language of bullshit that pervades the fitness industry, how can we expect the average American women to respond differently?

I agree with Kelsey’s suggestion that Tony submit articles to Shape and Fitness magazines – several sources that insist, month after month, that the earth is flat.

Note from TG:  I’ll actually be making my first cameo appearance in Women’s Health this Spring!

Indeed, there are more effective and nicer ways to unplug women, and fitness-ignorant men, from the Matrix.

Christine, I agree that Tony, boyfriends everywhere, and fitness professionals alike could all catch more fitness “flies” with sugar, than with vinegar – But that is another topic altogether.

Sweet or sour, women need to hear the truth

We deserve to hear the truth. How truth is served to us, is up to us, to flavor. “Yuck”, “Well”, Christine, and other readers, tell Tony and the rest of the fitness industry what you want – and how you want it. Don’t stay quiet. Influence the information you receive, and demand what you deserve!

One of the great blessings of my life is that somebody taught me. My father, a bodybuilding, protein-shake-drinking, Arnold Schwarzenegger-admiring man, taught me about and included me in his most beloved hobby for as long as I can remember.I loved him, and in turn, I loved lifting weights.

I was always interested in being strong, in looking strong, and in pulling, pushing, and pressing more. I was never intimidated in the gym, and was often labeled intimidating. I realize that my experience is outside the norm. Most women have never been taught how to take care of and strengthen their bodies, and that is a shame.

Lisa V. suggested that it is shameful for women to be intimidated to lift weights, but the reality is that many are, and that’s not their fault – it’s the fault of society and the fitness industry. We can judge intimidated women all we want, but until we influence them, and until we empower them, we are only part of the problem.

Judgment doesn’t make change… education, communication, and action make change. Bravo to Lisa V., and many other women, for getting to Cressey Performance to train (and Amen that many men are as ignorant as women about how to train!), but the fact remains that you are a beautiful, powerful, exemplary exception – not the rule.

 

 

 

For Lisa V., and “Ambition”, “Yuck”, “Well”, “Speed”, Kelsey, and all of the other women out there who are not intimidated by weights and strength training, who are hungry for the truth, and who are insulted by stupidity and Bullshit – I implore you to keep saying it! It is only through writing, talking, confronting and considering that we can evoke the evolution of the fitness industry – and in turn, of women’s fitness… Whatever that is.

Confront Tony, other fitness professionals, the media, and the images, programs, and bullshit that we are bombarded with.

“Well” expressed her belief that the pictures of the women on Tony’s article were horrible – and I think she may feel this way because these are thin, idealized models who do not appear physically muscular. However, the point of the pictures is to demonstrate that thin and thick women alike lift weights and strength train.

No matter what we look like, or what we want to look like, being fit and strong is elementary to our goal. Personally, I feel that Serena Williams has the hottest, sickest, most amazing body on earth. Will I ever look like her? Unfortunately for me, no. Do pictures of her speak to me? Encourage me? Inspire me? Hell yes.

Whether it’s Serena or Giselle, seeing images of women who weight train is important to women of every shape and size, who aspire to change their body into any shape or size.

Bodybuilders and others who make a career out of their musculature aside, in my opinion, there is no such thing as too muscular. If seeing lots of muscles on a lady is too much for you, than that is you. If a woman wants to kill it in the gym, build muscle mass, and create a physique “outside the box” of acceptable female appearance, good for her! I celebrate her. I admire her. I think she is a badass.

She is healthy, fit, and she sure as hell feels fabulous. As far as I am concerned, saying a woman is too much of an athlete, too masculine, or too far away from the societal standard is chauvinistic, and judgmental. It’s no different than suggesting we should all look like Victoria’s Secret models.

Prakash, and all the others frustrated by the topic of ‘Womens’ Fitness’ – don’t give up! We can create and change the language of the fitness industry – but only if we are active, only if we voice our opinions, and only if we are willing to say over and over again (sweetly or otherwise) that the earth is round!

There is so much more to say on this topic. Thank you for being some of the few who have unplugged from the American Fitness Matrix that is ineffective and insulting.  I hope we will all keep talking – and criticizing, comparing, and kvetching. It is the only way to make change. To make it better. To make us stronger.