1985 Called. It Wants Its Pointless Fitness Accessory Back.

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This is a picture I came across last week of actress Lisa Rinna. Many will recognize her as a past participant of “Dancing With the Stars.” To be honest I’ve never watched an episode of that show. However, back in the day I did watch “Melrose Place” religiously every week where she played a character called Taylor McBride. While some may think it’s silly that I would ever admit to watching that show, I’ll have it be on the record that everything I know as far as how to treat women I learned from “Melrose Place.”

For instance, sleep with as many as possible within a one block radius. If one happens to get knocked up and starts asking for alimony, all you have to do is come up with a diabolical scheme such as blow up her apartment; preferably with her in it. Another option would be to remove the breaks from her car so she drives off a cliff. Either way, problem solved. WHEW! That was close. Hey did you happen to catch the episode where Billy and Allison end up together? I totally called that from the start. They’re so cute together.

Anyways, I don’t know what disturbed me more about the picture above. The fact that she looks like the Queen of the MerPeople (hello Botox) or that she’s running with pink dumbbells in her hands. I’d ask her where her leg warmers are, but she already succeeded in bringing back women’s fitness about 20 years. $10 says she listening to “Let’s Get Physical” on her iPod.

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Plus, get a copy of Tony’s Pick Things Up, a quick-tip guide to everything deadlift-related. See his butt? Yeah. It’s good. You should probably listen to him if you have any hope of getting a butt that good.

I don’t share email information. Ever. Because I’m not a jerk.

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