High Heels for Babies. (Crickets Chirping) I’m Speechless. Well, Not Really.

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I’ve been on a roll lately with the rants, so I figured why not keep a good thing going and share with you a story that will undoubtedly make your eyes hate you.

Heelarious: High Heeled Shoes for Babies

Essentially these two women (Jenelle Kulaas and Britta Bacon) thought it would be “funny” (get it? HEELarious) to develop high heels for their newborns. Hahahahahahahahahahahaha. That is funny. I mean, what could be funnier than promoting atrocious motor patterns in infants just when they’re starting to learn how to walk? “Oh look everyone, look over there! Little Susy is wearing her whore- in-training shoes. Doesn’t she just look fab? Whoopsie daises, she just fell and hit her head on the coffee table. LMAO, she’s so freakin cute!”


Not too long ago, I wrote on why I’m not a big fan of grown women wearing high heels, let alone an infant who is just starting to develop all the gross motor skills that she will use for the rest of her life. I don’t know which is worse; letting your child play with a plugged in toaster oven while swimming in a pool filled with ebola, or putting these shoes on her feet. It’s a toss up. I don’t know, I’m confused. Where do babies come from anyways? Santa Claus, right?

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