I’m Going to a Commercial Gym Today. EPIC Nervous Breakdown to Follow

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So we’re in the midst of a winteryesk (yes, I made that word up) storm here in Boston today, and as a result, we shut down CP today. Which is to say, (start evil laugh) Muhahahahahahahaha………

hahahahaha. You’re probably reading this from work, while I’m sitting here at my desk eating a bowl of cottage cheese not getting paid because I happen to work in a profession that doesn’t have paid vacation days and/or paid snow days. hahahahaha, wait a second!!! (End evil laugh). This sucks. Oh well.

*clicks on tv to watch Judge Judy*

While I’m glad that I have a day off to catch up on some writing (been slacking a lot on the blogging front as of late), I’m in a bit of a conundrum because I need to train today. However, I really don’t want to walk over to the local Bally Total Fitness since I know I’ll end up seeing crap like this:

Can someone please explain to me how this can possibly be “functional?” The guy in the video mentions this is a great functional exercise, and I am just curious if anyone else has any insight? I mean, the only thing “functional” about this exercise is the fact that I want to functionally drop kick that guy across the face.

And I’m also willing to bet that I’m going to see/hear any host of the following:

1. Lots and lots of UnderArmour shirts.

2. “All you, all you, all you.” (random guy spotting his friend on the bench press who is clearly using more weight than he can handle).

3. People who are 30 lbs overweight, doing nothing but walking on the treadmill, while watching The View, while drinking Gatorade.

4. Trainers teaching people to squat in a Smith Machine.

5. Guys who can pull the entire stack on a lat pulldown machine (with atrocious form), but can’t do ONE pull-up.

6. Dammit, I just realized I don’t have my iPod with me today.

This should be interesting. I’m going to take some mental notes while I’m there today, and report back later on. If I’m not back on by the end of the day, I probably just walked straight out of the building and threw myself in front of the 83 bus. If that’s the case, Kristina…..you get all of my Star Wars dvd’s.

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Plus, get a copy of Tony’s Pick Things Up, a quick-tip guide to everything deadlift-related. See his butt? Yeah. It’s good. You should probably listen to him if you have any hope of getting a butt that good.

I don’t share email information. Ever. Because I’m not a jerk.

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