Two Posts in Two Days: GET SOME!

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Everyone repeat after me: there is no such thing as an “upper” or “lower” abdominal region. Just like a good Dane Cook movie, it doesn’t exist. Oh, no I didn’t!?!11?!

Rather than rant and rave, I’ll just let someone a helluva lot smarter than myself crack open an egg of knowledge bombs (Dr. Stuart McGill):

Myoelectric evidence, normalized and calibrated, suggests that there is no functional distinction between an “upper” and “lower” rectus abdominus in most people; in contrast, the obliques are regionally activated with upper and lower neuromuscular compartments as well as medial and lateral components. There are, however, some highly trained individuals who are able to create small differences in activation. Yet these differences are only at very low levels of activation and occur during what would be considered nonfunctional tasks, for example belly dancing.”

So please, the next time you hear some nimrod personal trainer explain how “x exercise” will target the upper/lower abs, do me a favor and ask yourself, “what would Tony do?”

A. Cordially invite said personal trainer to an open discussion on how retarded (s)he is.

B. Four words: pink dumbbell-to-face.

C. Don’t waste your breath, it’s a lost cause. (S)he probably also thinks muscle soreness is from lactic acid build-up. Or, I don’t know, thinks there’s such a thing as a trapezoid.

D. Who cares! Jennifer Love Hewitt is single again.

E. I think her and I have would have a lot in common.

F. I mean, we’re both single.

G. I like to lift heavy stuff (and watch Top Chef, which has to count for something).

H. She looks really, uh, intelligent.

I. It’s obviously a match made in heaven.

J. How could it not work?

Did what you just read make your day? Ruin it? Either way, you should share it with your friends and/or comment below.

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Plus, get a copy of Tony’s Pick Things Up, a quick-tip guide to everything deadlift-related. See his butt? Yeah. It’s good. You should probably listen to him if you have any hope of getting a butt that good.

I don’t share email information. Ever. Because I’m not a jerk.

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