Haven’t done one of these in I don’t know how long.  This one’s a doozy.

New York, New York:

Not that this is going to come as any surprise, but a plastic surgeon and an orthodontist (huh?) have recently teamed up to promote an extreme weight loss plan that involves daily injections of the pregnancy hormone hCG in conjunction with a 500-calorie per day diet.  Of course they would!

Here’s the basic logic (from the story linked above):  despite the fact that there’s absolutely no scientific research that it actually does anything, you tell people to inject themselves with this hormone (which coincidentally isn’t cheap) so that they won’t feel hungry when they’re only eating 500 calories per day.

What the shit!?!?!?!

I don’t know about you, but I’d like to see the percentage of people who actually keep the weight off once they stop “treatment.”

My guess is not many.

Moreover, I’d love to be a fly on the wall as this soul-less, asshat of a doctor explains to people that following a 500-calorie per day diet, long-term, is in any way healthy.  Why not just tell them to drink battery acid and eat paint chips?  Surely they’ll lose some weight that way, too.

I really don’t know how these people sleep at night.  Hey, anything to pay off that BMW and fake tan, right?

And, I don’t care what anyone says, despite their claims to the contrary, the reason why they’ve never lost any weight (even though they’ve tried everything) is because they crush Dunkin Donuts like it’s their job and their idea of exercise is taking the elevator to the second floor.

People don’t like to be held accountable for their own actions.   It’s well established in the research that people vastly UNDER-report how much they really eat, and OVER-report how much they actually exercise.  We’re not honest with ourselves.

It’s pretty amazing how many people out there follow a “strict” and “clean” diet (supposedly) and run a marathon before breakfast everyday (supposedly); yet, low and behold, they’re still 40 lbs overweight.

Simply put, we’re just not as active as we think we are.  Sadly, for many, their ONLY form of exercise is the 3-5 hours per week they spend in the gym – and, that’s assuming that when they go to the gym, they’re actually exercising.

Think about it:  THREE hours of exercise per week.

While there are exceptions to the rule – more often than not, that’s not going to cut it (particularly when things like yoga, elliptical trainers, and pink dumbbells are the staple for most people).  We’ve all seen the infomercials selling exercise machines that promise the body of our dreams with only three, twenty-minute sessions per week.  Yeah, right.  And I’m going to drive over to Brittney Daniel’s house in my tank and take her out to T.G.I.Friday for dinner tonight.

In your dreams!

Listen, most people watch three hours of television before bed every night; so you’re kidding yourself if you think your Pilates class you take three times per week is going to do anything.  Even still, like I said, most people aren’t moving around as much as I they think in the first place.  Something’s better than nothing, but lets be real here.  What’s more, as my good friend Mark Young has noted repeatedly, if we’re talking strictly caloric deficit and it’s effect on weight loss, exercise takes a back seat to diet anyways.

Which brings us back to Dr. McDouchington.  Really?  You’re going to tell me that you have your patient’s best interests in mind by telling them to stick a syringe in their body and inject a hormone that 1) isn’t even being used for its intended purpose and 2) has no proof that it even works other than a few suspect studies?  On top of that, you’re then going to advocate they eat only 500 calories per day?

Excuse me while I go throw an ax into my face.

I’d love to hear what all of you have to say.  Do you find this just as absurd as I do?