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Mistakes Skinny Guys Make: Eating Like an Olsen Twin (

It happens on a weekly basis – almost like clockwork.  A parent walks in with their 15-16 year old kid, and after a good 10-15 minutes of them telling us how he’s the next Roger Clemens, proceeds to insist that no matter what he or she does, or how hard they try, their kid just can’t seem to put on any weight.

Likewise, the same scenario rears its ugly head with the “weekend warrior” crowd that frequent the facility.   Guys, sick and tired of being sick of tired trying to put on weight, come in seeking advice on what they should be doing.

Funnily enough, using a prime example, about two years ago one of our current high school football players, Patrick, walked in with his parents and I’d be lying if I said he didn’t look like a broomstick with arms.  He was a quiet kid, and resembled a deer in headlights when we took him out on the gym floor to see the rest of the athletes in action.

As we walked the floor, his parents went on to say that no matter what they tried – numerous personal trainers, those 1000-calorie mass gainer formulas, radioactive mutant spiders, you name it – they were convinced that Patrick couldn’t put on any weight.  Nodding my head, I explained that we’ve heard it all before and that we’d try our best to beef Patrick up.

Fast forward to a year later, Patrick, weighing in 70 lbs heavier from when he started, transformed his body from looking like the McLovin from Superbad to where opposing teams are now encouraged to sign a health waiver to play against him.   Okay, I lied.  They don’t really do that.  But who cares, read that again:  70 lbs.  In a year!

And remember, this was a kid whose parents thought it was IMPOSSIBLE for him to put on any weight. To his credit, Patrick listened, followed our advice to a “t”, and as result, he went on to make the varsity football team, as a freshman wide-receiver.  Oh, and he started.

Patrick’s story isn’t uncommon at CP.  This past summer alone, we had numerous athletes from all over he country come in to train with us, only to go back home and have family members and friends not recognize them.

Similarly, there’s CP client, Michael, a twenty-something aspiring bodybuilder who, upon walking in on day one a little over a year ago with a frame that would make Steve Urkel jealous, has taken his frame from a 150-160 lb girly-man to that of a rock solid 200+ lb barrel chested freedom fighter.

With that, you’re probably wondering where I’m going with this.   In short, this is my attempt at laying a little smack down to all the guys out there who, much like Patrick, Michael, and countless others, claim that they’re more likely make out with Jessica Alba than put on any appreciable weight.

So, here’s my contribution to the never ending saga that is helping skinny guys everywhere put on weight, and as a result, make girls want to hang out with them.   My goal is to make this an on-going series, writing a post here and there on the topic.  This is the first one.  You’re welcome.

Seriously, Stop Eating Like an Olsen Twin

As counterintuitive as it sounds, you don’t add muscle in the weight room.  Sure, placing a barbell on the floor, or on your back, and then lifting it, repeatedly, sometimes even over your head, is an important step in the “I want to make people destroy the back of their pants when they look at me” process.  I’d be remiss to state otherwise.

Thing is though, you’re actually BREAKING DOWN MUSCLE when you train, and all you’re really doing is giving the body the stimulus it needs to adaptively change.  This is a good thing.  Keep doing it.

Nothing is going to change, however, if you don’t allot for ample rest and recovery.  More specifically, if you’re not giving the body the nutrients it needs to actually grow, then well, you’re just going to be spinning your wheels.

Think of it this way:  battles are won on the gym floor.  Wars are won in the kitchen.  If you want to grow, you need to eat.  A lot.  There’s no way around this point.  Point.  Blank.  Period.

Personally, I love to use analogies to help me learn.  One analogy I like to use with our younger guys (and weekend warriors for that matter) to try to elucidate this whole concept that you sorta need to eat in order to grow, is getting them to think about foundations.  You know, like, the foundation of a building.

In terms of construction, what do bricklayers need the most of in order to build a foundation?

SPOILER ALERT:  bricks.

You can’t make something out of nothing.  It’s imperative (read:  kind of a big deal) to give the body the nutrients (bricks) it needs to lay down a solid foundation.  If you don’t, the body (bricklayers) are just going to stand around, twiddle their thumbs, whistle at hot chicks all day, and otherwise do jack squat without providing a finished product.

Similarly, and most important of all, you need to fuel performance.  Again, lifting heavy things is an important component to putting on weight.  But, if you’re not fueling the body with adequate calories, you’re going to be hard pressed to make progress – let alone build a chest that could scratch diamonds.

Weight gain a side, from a performance standpoint, you’re only shooting yourself in the foot if you’re not providing the body with fuel.  I mean, how far will your car go if you refuse to put gas in it?  Huh, smarty pants?

Okay, I think by now you’re getting the general jist of what I’m trying to get across.  But, telling someone that they need to eat more and them actually following through are two completely different things.  To that end, below are some common strategies that, for better or worse, we try to instill in all of our guys interested in putting on weight.  Is it an all-encompassing list?  Hell no.  But it’s a start.

Eating is a Job

Many feel that once they leave the gym that their job is done.  Not so fast skinny.  Like I mentioned above, training BREAKS DOWN tissue, and it’s up to you to provide ample calories to not only recover, but to grow!

I don’t care if you have to set an alarm to remind yourself, make it a point to have a meal (or snack) every three to four hours.

Fair warning:  if you’re not used to eating that often, it’s going to suck.  In fact, you’re most likely going to hate life for a few weeks.  But, as with anything, the body grows accustomed to it, adapts, and what used to be an insurmountable amount of food, will soon turn into a snack.

Some food for thought:

–       Using an old trick stolen from Dr. John Berardi, take a package of bagels and spread peanut butter between each one.  In between EVERY meal, eat one.

–       Take a gallon of water and fill it with 8-10 scoops of protein powder.  If you can’t eat your calories, you might as well drink them.

–       Add 1-2 tbsp olive or coconut oil to your shakes.  That’s an easy 120-240 calories right there.

–       Quit with the egg whites you (no offense to any ladies reading) raging vagina.  Eat the entire egg.  That’s where all the nutrients are.

–      Or. when all else fails, you can always just kill a grizzly bear with your bare hand and eat it.

Basically, just make a concerted effort to increase your total calories by 150-300 kcals, incrementally.  You can’t expect to go from 1800 to 4000 calories overnight – especially if you’re concerned with fat gain.   Increase here and there and good things will happen.

Prepare Foods In Advance

Many people will balk at this right off the bat, but I can’t stress enough how integral it is.  Taking the time to actually plan a head and cook, package, and store your food will almost single-handedly guarantee compliance (and success).  Simply put, if the food is there to eat, then you’ll eat it.  Ma, meatloaf!

Speaking of Foods to Eat

Pick a day and do all your grocery shopping for the week.  Additionally, if you happen to have a farmer’s market nearby – frequent that, too.   Nothing tastes better than fresh produce.

Outside of that, here’s my short list of foods to strive for:

Protein:  dead animal flesh.  I don’t care.  If it’s a mammal, has four legs, and lives in the woods, it’s fair game.  I can get nitpicky and tell everyone to try to get grass-fed beef, but the reality is, many people don’t have access to it (and it’s freakin expensive).  At the very least, and in your own best interests, try to buy meat that’s at least hormone free.

Eat meat, and lots of it.

Carbs:  I’m not a paleo-fanatic or anything, but I do feel there’s a lot of efficacy to eating more “real,” natural sources of carbohydrates.  Things like rice, potatoes, oatmeal, quinoa, various beans (kidney, red, black, garbanzo), would all be high on my list.  And, of course, eat your fruits and veggies.  Fructose won’t kill you.  I promise.

Also, I’m not opposed to things like pasta and cold cereals – I’d just prefer that they’re more of the whole grain variety.  Although, to be fair, I used to crush Golden Grahams back in the day when I was trying to put on weight.  And, I’d be lying if I said that I didn’t have a slice (or two**) of pizza every so often.

In an ideal world, I’d say to focus on “clean” carbs, but the fact of the matter is, when trying to put on weight, you need calories.  And well,

Fats:  Fish oil, olive oil, nuts, butter, coconut oil, avocados, cacoa nibs, etc are all staples in my diet (and that of our clients at CP).

What Did You Have For Breakfast?

That’s the first question we tend to ask when someone mentions that they can’t put on any weight.

More often than not, the answer we get lies somewhere between crickets chirping and a pop-tart.

Never skip breakfast.  Like, ever.  Every morning I wake up, and I’m excited to eat.  I get out of bed, head to the little boys room to take a leak, and then b-line it to the kitchen to make my daily five-(whole)egg omelet, complete with onion, broccoli, sun-dried tomatoes, and goat cheese.  On top of that, I have a pb/banana toast sandwich, along with a giant glass of water.

Easily, my breakfast runs anywhere from 800 to a cool 1000 calories.

I’m not saying you have to eat the exact same breakfast, but it stands to reason you shouldn’t be skipping it.  If you do, I’ll kill you.

Post-Training Shakes

Understandably, and as noted above, EATING calories tends to be problematic for a lot of guys – particularly when they’re not used to ingesting that much food in the first place.

That said, oftentimes, relying on LIQUID calories is an easy fix and something that can easily be implemented right away.  The post-training “window” (1-2 hours after training) is the absolute ideal time to take in a boat load of calories, particularly since this is the time when your muscles need those calories to recover, repair, and subsequently grow like weeds.

As such, at CP, we’ve found that having our guys down a post-workout shake (Surge Recovery, for example) immediately after training is an easy and fail proof way to get in extra calories at an ideal time.

Nocturnal Feedings

As a last resort, I’ll sometimes recommend guys try to drink a quick shake in the middle of the night.  The key, though, is to make sure you wake up naturally and not resort to setting an alarm that will do nothing but disturb your body’s natural circadian rhythm.

Here’s what to do:  before bed, down a ginormous glass of water; then place a pre-made shake either in your fridge or next to your bed on the nightstand.   At some point in the middle of the night, you’ll wake up (naturally) to go to the bathroom.  On your way back to bed, grab the shake you made earlier, gulp it down, and go back to sleepies.

While not ideal, nocturnal feedings are an easy way to get in 300-500 calories without really inconveniencing yourself too much.  Your girlfriend or wife, however, might think otherwise when they realize you missed the toilet.  Jerk!

Okay, I’m Done

Wow, I’m at over 2000 words right now and I could easily keep going, but I’ll stop there.  If you made it this far, you’re a champ!  Anyways, I’ll definitely be hitting on some other point in later installments – particularly with regards to the training side of things, but for now, if you happen to have any advice for all the skinny guys out there, chime in below.  I’d love to hear what you have to say!

 

 

** or three.

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Two Quick Updates….

I know, I know….I’m late in the game today, and putting this post a little later than usual, but I’ll keep this short.

Here’s the dealo:

1.  For those who purchased Muscle Imbalances Revealed – Upper Body (or MIRU for short) – just a quick reminder that the exclusive Coaching Call, featuring all the contributors of MIRU – myself, Rick Kaselj, Dean Somerset, and Dr Jeff Cubos – takes place TONIGHT (August 30th) at 9 PM (EST).

Basically, this is an opportunity to rub elbows and talk shop with some really bright, intelligent, and otherwise Jedi-like fitness professionals ranging from strength coach to health practitioner (and everythng in between).

For those reading this blog, and are planning on participating tonight, if you could do me a hyyyyyyyoge favor and leave any questions or general thoughts below in the comments section, that would be greatly appreciated.

I’m sure Rick already has a ton of material to cover, but I’d like to open up the reigns to my readers as well, and allow them the opportunity to offer and feedback.

2.  On a similar front, tomorrow morning, I’ll be making a cameo appearance on my old stomping grounds –  The Fitcast –  with host Kevin Larrabee (otherwise known as KevLar around CP).  Much like above, if you have any questions or general commentary you’d like to address ), leave them below, and I’d be happy to forward them to Kevin.

Examples include:

  • Tony, what are your thoughts on speed training for adolescents?
  • Tony, what do you feel is the one missing link to why many trainees fail to progress with the deadlift?
  • Tony, who would win in a fight between your abs and a mastadon?

Or, better yet,

  • Kevin, what’s up with your obsession with Jason Statham?

Likewise, you could just leave any questions HERE as well.  Thanks!

3.  On a completely un-related note:  over the weekend (ie: during the hurricane), I was able to catch up on jack squat in terms of work and elected instead to sit on my butt all day and do absoutely nothing.   It was glorious. Subsequently, Lisa and I ended up watching a really, really, awesome documentary titled The Tillman Story:

Trust me when I say this:  it’s an unrelenting story and really makes you think about our governmental “machine” and its policies.  Oh, and compared to Pat Tillman, you’re a raging pussy.  I don’t know if there’s ever been a movie – outside of Food, Inc and Inside Job – that has ever made me feel more disenfranchised about our government than this one.  Maybe disappointed would be a better term, actually.  At any rate, it’s a real story with real emotion, and if you’re looking for something good to watch, I’d recommend it in a heartbeat.

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What the Heck is Cybernetic Training?

When it comes to writing programs, and thus, preparing our athletes and clients for competion and/or everyday life, it’s not surprising to find out that many coaches and personal trainers often follow a set “scheme” or “system” to do so.

Some prefer to use more of a linear periodization approach where volume and intensity are closely monitored and specific “qualities” are blocked off in 2-8 week increments.  So, for example, when dealing with beginners, some coaches may elect to use an Accumulation Phase where intensity (as it relates to 1RM) is kept fairly low and the emphasis is more on technique and preparing the trainee for future (more intense) phases.

Likewise, as you can imagine, there are a million and one other periodization formats that can be utilized to get people from point A to point B.  Or, as Dave Tate prefers to say, take people from “shit” to “suck.”

Undulated Periodization

“Westside” Periodization

Russian Periodization

Concurrent Periodization

………And the list could go on forever; but honestly, I don’t want to bore you to tears, and there’s really only one system that I wanted to talk about exclusively today anyway.

Which is, of course, Cybernetic Training

Outside of sounding like something from one of those old 1980s Transformers cartoons (which were AWESOME by the way), cybernetic training actually gained popularity from Mel Siff when he first talked about this approach in his unparalled book, Supertraining.

Basically, in no uncertain terms (read:  this is my attempt at paraphrasing Mel Siff, this should be interesting), you can’t train like a rockstar everyday.  Kids are up sick all night, tests, boss keeps you late at work, traffic jams, girlfriend woes, tweaked shoulders, car won’t start, explosive diarrhea, you name it – life gets in the way.

When life happens, and you otherwise feel like you got run over by a mack truck, what good is it to head to the gym only to push through it?  Sometimes, rather than follow your program to a “t,” it’s more advantageous to just tone it down a bit, do some tweaking (that day), get in, get your work done, and get the hell out.

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve seen an athlete walk into the facility looking like death, only to feel defeated right off the bat knowing that the squat rack is staring right at him.  As admirable as it is that he still may want to plow through and do the squats anyways, what’s the likelihood that he’ll reap any benefits what-so-ever?

More often than not, he’s just going to walk away frustrated and/or injured.

Instead, in this scenario, I might just go a head and have him perform a couple sets of glute ham raises, maybe some light Prowler pushes as well, follow that up with a few sets hip thrusters and Pallof Presses, throw in a Goose and Maverick high five, and call it a day.

Here, while we didn’t follow tha actual plan as written, we still did some work, got some semblance of a training effect, and didn’t run this athlete into the ground.

We programmed on the fly and still made his session worthwhile.

Conversely, we can look at the opposite end of the spectrum, too.  Using a cybernetic approach isn’t just about holding back when someone feels like poop.  Just last week actually, during his deadlifts, I had a client who was feeling like Superman.  While his program called for 4×3, he was just smoking his weight, so we decided to go for broke and attempt a PR (personal record).  In the end, he beat his previous best pull by 20 lbs.  And it wasn’t even planned!

Don’t get me wrong, I write every program with a set goal in mind, and I try my best to plan a head – I’d be remiss to do otherwise.  But rarely, if ever, is a program followed 100% all the way through without some “tweaking” involved.

I’m good, but I’m not that good.

While I feel it’s VERY important to have a preferred system in place – whatever you choose to use – when it comes to programming for your clients, don’t be afraid to embrace a more cybernetic/freestyle approach from time to time.  You’re not Nostradamus, right?

 

 

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Stuff to Read While You’re Pretending to Work (or Waiting for a Hurricane)

Hurricane Irene is on a b-line headed straight for the East coast, apparently set to hit North Carolina in full force sometime Saturday, and we should be getting some pretty nasty weather here in Boston later Saturday evening.  The latest update has it downgraded to a Category 2 – and the reports here in Boston say at worst, it will be a tropical storm – but that’s not stopping everyone from stocking up on food and water here in the city.

I could attempt to try to be funny here, but honestly, I got nuthin.  To everyone who happens to be in the storm’s path: BE SAFE!!!!!

ALSO:  Today marks the last day you can purchase Muscle Imbalances Revealed – Upper Body and still get a “seat” for the exclusive Coaching Call with all of its creators (myself included) that will take place on Tuesday, August 30th at 9 PM EST.

It should make for an awesome event, so don’t hesitate and miss out an a pretty cool opportunity to talk some shop with some smart dudes.

Why Cressey Performance is Awesome – Will Davis

Will’s a bloke from England who’s in the US for the next few months getting his learnification on.  We had the pleasure of having him stop by the facility earlier this week to observe for a few days, and he wrote a really complimentary review of his experience above.

Some things he forgot to mention, though:

1.  Our conversation we had about hot British chicks: ie – Kate Beckinsale.  Specifically, how Kate Beckinsale is renewing her role in the next Underworld movie.  There is a god!!!!!!

2.  My affinity for Star Wars references.

Just sayin……

Show Me Your Guns – Christina from ilovefetacheese.com

First off, that’s an awesome name for a website because I freakin HEART feta cheese.  Secondly, this was a post that was forwarded to me by a frequent reader of my blog who felt I’d appreciate the overall message – which I did.  A lot.

Basically it’s this:  The author is just a normal 24ish year old, female PhD student with a passion for fitness.  She reached out to women who’s blogs she reads etc. to send her pictures of ‘their guns’.  The end result was a beautiful compilation of strong, fit females who all look completely different.

Nice job, ladies.

This Is Silly, An Outlook on Training – Matt Brown

This was actually one of the more refreshing articles I’ve read in a looooooong time.  I love “perspective” pieces, and this was just that.  Trust me, read it.  You won’t be sorry.

 

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Play-Doh Coaching

I’m sure for many reading, you’d be hard pressed not to think back to your childhood and not remember a time where you’d spend hours on end with a vat of Play-Doh making various shapes and figures that, despite knowing better, you’d eventually either stuff up your nose or try to eat.

Okay, maybe that was just me.  But suffice it to say, for many who reminisce about their childhood, Play-Doh was the shiznit back in the day.

Admittedly, it’s been YEARS since I’ve even touched a can of Play-Doh, but as I was coaching a new client through his deadlifts the other day, I couldn’t help but think that, in many ways, I play with Play-Doh everyday.

Hear me out for a second.  I promise, things won’t get weird.

As a strength coach, a fair potion of my job is, well, coaching.  As such, I’m not one of those coaches that just stands there, twiddling his thumbs, counting reps, and otherwise looking completely disinterested in his surroundings.  Walk into most commercial gyms and observe the personal trainers, and you’ll see what I’m talking about.

On the contrary, on an almost daily basis, when I’m on the gym floor, I’m constantly touching, adjusting, pushing, poking, pulling, and otherwise following a Play-Doh philosophy to coaching.

Using a real life example, just the other day I was working with a new client taking him through his first session of deadlifts.  Now, just to give a little backstory:  this guy is an ultra-runner; meaning, a “light” run to him is 20 miles.  Kind of bad ass, right?

Not surprisingly, he walked into the facility a little beat up.  And by a “little beat up,” I mean the guy was/is a walking ball of dysfunction.  Literally, you name a joint, and he could name the time, date, and race he hurt it.

Nevertheless, he’d finally seen the light and recognized that (proper) strength training could, in all likelihood, keep him from breaking down even further.  As we always say at CP:  strength training CAN be corrective in nature.

So, we walked over to the trap bar station and I said, “Let me see how you would set yourself up to pick that up off the ground.”

He walked over, bent down, and well, lets just say it didn’t look pretty.  In fact, I blacked out, it was that bad.

A few adjustments to the bar, however, along with several verbal cues, and we got it looking somewhat better.  It wasn’t until I actually started placing my hands on him – adjusting his neck, pushing his t-spine into position, tapping his chest with my finger to keep it tall – that we got it to look like an actual deadlift.

Likewise, I did the same thing when we moved over to perform some standard planks.  I literally stood over him and tapped his stomach to teach him to brace his core.  I tapped is tush (yes, I just said tush) to get him to learn to squeeze his glutes so that he would’t drop into lumbar extension.  Additionally, I adjusted his hips and neck to make sure that he stayed in proper position the entire time.

After the first set he noted: “Man, I never knew planks could be so hard!.”  Well they are when you actually do them correctly!

And this, more often than not, is where I see many personal trainers (and coaches) miss the boat entirely.  Whether it’s due to inexperience (acceptable), insecurity (acceptable, kinda), or just sheer laziness (absolutely un-acceptable), many are scared to put their hands on clients.  Given we live in a very litigious society, I can’t say that I blame many for not wanting to be so “hands-on.”  But lets be real:  there’s a fine line between being a coach and Creepy McCreepypants about it.

Nevertheless, if there’s one thing I want you to take away from this post, it’s that you need to COACH!!!!!!  Standing there only to count reps and not correct form is just downright lazy.  Unfortunately many trainees lack the kinesthetic awareness to get themselves into proper position, and as such, you’re job is to help them do so by being a bit more hands-on.

Again, lets tone down the creep factor.  Slapping the glutes of a new female client without first building some sense of rapport probably isn’t the best approach.

To that end, try to take a more Play-Doh approach to coaching and learn to mold your clients into deadlifting and planking freaks!  Or, squatting and seated rowing freaks.  I don’t care – it’s all good.  The point is, be more proactive.  Not only will you become a FAR better coach, but your athletes and clients will benefit as well.

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Exercises You Should Be Doing: Band Hip Internal/External Rotation with Ankle Mobilization

I feel like I’ve been running around like a bat out of hell this week, and really wish there was someway to stretch 24 hours into 25. For starters, after hitting a few deadlines – and subsequently asking for an extension with my tail between my legs……twice – I finally submitted my next Livestrong.com article.  Internet high fives all around to Adam Bornstein for being a very, very, very, VERY understanding editor.

Similarily, I’ve been working on a few things for Men’s (and Women’s) Health which is always pretty cool.  And, of course, I’ll be starting my next T-nation.com article shortly.  I’m still kinda up in the air on what I want to write about, though.  I can either do something on squats and all the different variations we use at the facility (disuss their efficacy, what they target, who to use them with, how they make you a sexual tyrannosaurus, etc); or, I can write another rant type piece similar to THIS.

Decisions, decisions. 

Either way, my goal is to have that written in the next week or two (or three).  Likewise, I can’t discuss how busy I am without mentioning Cressey Performance.  It’s been an AWESOME summer to say the least.  All told, we had kids from all over the place (Hawaii, Colorado, Virginia, Florida, Middle Earth) come in and train with us all summer, and it’s been great to see everyone’s hard work pay off, and to watch many of them make profound progress in a few short months.

I’m not going to lie, though.  I’m definitely going to enjoy the down time at the facility for the next few weeks before all the pro guys start making their way back to Boston.

And if that wasn’t enough, Lisa has been jamming my weekends with things like Home Depot, Pottery Barn, and other things that are equally as likely to make me hate life. I can’t seem to catch a break.

Oh, hey babe.  I didn’t realize you were standing there.  Have I ever told you how much I love y…………..hey, what’s with the taser gun?  Why are you turning it on?  What tha…………..AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.  Okay, okay, lets go to Target!!!!!! 

Enough with the pity party, and lets get to today’s exercise you should be doing.

What Is It:  While I had every intention of calling this exercise “hip and ankle mobility thingamabobber,” the exercise below is actually called Band Hip Internal/External Rotation with Ankle Mobilization.

See?  Who wants to write that long of an exercise title in their programs?  Hip/Ankle Thingamabobber is just as baller.

Who Did I Steal It From:  strength coach, Joe Bonyai

What Does It Do:  For many trainees out there, hip AND ankle mobility is definitely an issue, and something that wrecks havoc up and down the entire kinetic chain.  While there are a plethora of dedicated hip and ankle mobility drills out there, I like this one because it kills two birds with one stone

Coaching Cues:  Using a mini-band, wrap one end around a power or squat rack (or any pole for that matter), and then wrap ther other end around your knee.  Making sure to keep tension in the band, simply, rotate THROUGH THE HIP into internal rotation, and then back with external rotation – making sure to resist the tension of the band throughout (hello glute medius!!!!. 

Once back at the starting position, push your knee forward over your middle toe to work in a little ankle dorsiflexion.  Repeat the same process for 8-10 repetitiions and then perform the same sequence on the opposite leg. 

I’d prefer to use this as part of a general warm-up, but certainly feel free to use this as a “filler” exercise between sets of heavy squats or deadlifts, too.

Okay, I’m done.  Continue on with your life and be awesome.

 

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Kefir: My New Obsession

Okay, today I’m sorta coming out of left field compared to what I usually do.  Namely, it’s because I have writing ADD and sometimes it’s just hard to come up with unique content on a daily basis.  Additionally, I wanted to challenge myself, and see if I could squeeze in a Jack Bauer joke somehow (keep reading, it’s coming). But most of all, I just wanted to quickly share with everyone my latest discovery:  kefir.

About two weeks ago, I was chatting with one of our clients at the facility, Roman.  I don’t know how we got on the topic, but we started discussing popular foods people use to try to put on weight.  Being from Russia, Roman immediately suggested kefir, which piqued my interest because I had never heard of it before.

Tony:  ka-fear, you said?

Roman:  No, no, no.  KEE-fur.

Tony:  Ohhhhh, you mean Kiefer.  As in Kiefer Sutherland.  As in Jack Bauer, the barrel chested freedom fighter from the show 24.

You ever watch it?

Roman:  No, not really.

Tony: Well, just so you know, Jack Bauer played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun……and won.

Roman:  Seriously, I don’t care.

Tony:  Or how about this:  1.5 billion Russians are angry with Jack Bauer.  Sounds like a fair fight.

Hahahahahahahaa.  Get it?  It’s like a play on all those Chuck Norris jokes people say, but using Jack Bauer instead.

[crickets chirping]

Roman (in an Ivan Drago voice):  I must break you.

 

Okay, that’s not quite how the conversation went, but needless to say, that was an awesome Jack Bauer reference!  And, I even threw in a Rocky IV reference, too!

So, what the heck is kefir anyways?  Essentially it’s fermented cow, goat, or sheep’s milk that’s been inoculated with kefir grains.  The grains themselves are a combination of bacteria and yeasts that form a complex and HIGHLY variable community that, when placed in milk and left for a day (or two), yields a slightly sour, carbonated beverage that resembles liquid yogurt.

Except here, instead of maybe one or two dominant strans of gut healthy bacteria that you’d normally find in a container of Greek yogurt, kefir has upwards of 10+ strains.  Plus, due to the fermentation process, much of the lactose is gone, so those who suffer from lactose intolerance may be able to use kefir without the nasty gas issues.

Luckily for me, there’s a legit Russian store right around the corner from my apartment, so I’ve been walking in and trying out different brands.  But, for those who don’t have access to a Russian store, you can easily find kefir in most mainstream stores like Trader Joe’s or Stop-n-Shop as well.

I’m not hardcore enough to drink it straight up – although it’s not THAT bad.  Rather, I’ve simply been adding it to my protein shakes throughout the day, which provides a nice creamy thickness to them.

Seriously, try it.  And, if you know of any other ways to use kefir, I’d be interested to hear about them below!

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Miscellaneous Miscellany Monday: MIRU Goes Viral, and Other Stuff

I just realized it’s been close to a month since I’ve done one of these posts, so I figured what better way to start the week than this?

<== and this (but more on her later)

1.  Muscle Imbalances Revealed – Upper Body:  as many of you know, MIRU was released two weeks ago, and so far the feedback has been amazing.  With the wide release set to go this week, I’ve been busy doing interviews and kissing babies (only slightly exaggerrating) trying my best to get the word out and otherwise telling people how much more awesome their lives would be if they purchased the product.

Thankfully I have a lot of smart friends in the industry who were more than willing to check the product out for themselves and offer their own review.

Kevin Neeld wrote a nice review HERE.

And, not to be outdone, my boy Mike Robertson gave a really thorough review HERE.

Also, HERE is an interview I did with my internet BFF, Nia Shanks.  Nia and I have done several interviews together in the past, and this was by far one of the funnest to do.

2.  And speaking of Nia, this past weekend she and several of her Beautiful Badass harem (Molly Galbraith, Jen Comas Keck, Marianne Kane, Sarah Martin, and Alli McKee) all travelled from various parts of the country to meet up and train under one roof, and otherwise increase male membership by 417% at whatever gym they were training at.

Anyone who’s read this blog for any length of time knows how much of a fan I am of women lifting heavy things, and these ladies definitely did not disappoint.  Me thinks they should go on some kind of national tour and train at various gyms across the country.  I’d pay to see that!

PS:  How sweet was it when Nia gave her headnod after pwning that 330 lb deadlift PR?

3.  Just a quick reminder to everyone that Alwyn Cosgrove will be hosting a FREE webinar tonight (Monday, August 22nd at 8 PM, EST) titled The Death of Personal Training.

Knowing Alwyn and how forthright he is, this is definitely something you won’t want to miss!

4.  I’m a movie nerd at heart.  I love going to movies.  I love talking about movies.  I love reading about movies.  And, as any fellow movie nerd knows, summers are generally the time of year when all the studios release their geektastic, popcorn movies.  Admittedly, I’ve been slacking on my movie watching prowess, and haven’t been going to the theater as much due to my busy work schedule (and because The Green Lantern just looked god-awful).

Last weekend, however, my girlfriend and I went to go see Captain America:  The First Avenger, and holy sheeeeeeeit was it sweet.

I totally thought it was going to be a cheese-fest, complete with ridiculous costumes, corny one-liners, and a plot that could have been wrtten in crayon by a 7-year old.  While it had a bit of each, I have to say that it was defnitely a step up from most superhero movies – great acting, superb directing (especially considering it was based in the 1940s during WWII), and lots of cool special effects.  In fact, Lisa said that it was her favorite superhero movie, like, ever.

I quickly told her that that was just blasphemy:  hello The Dark Knight, Batman Begins, the first Iron Man???

But, to be honest, I’d definitely place Captain America in my top 5.  And, lets just say that the lead female character, played by Hayley Atwell (pictured above, at the top of this post, as well as directly below), was definitely a highlight.

5.  People need to do more horizontal rowing.   I’m going to go into a bit more detail on this later in the week, but nevertheless, not only will it have a great benefit towards posture and preventing imbalances in general, but it will also translate well to the big movements like deadlifts and squats becaise of increased stiffness in the upper back.

In conjunction to the points above, to me, having a nice, thick, upper back speaks volumes to one’s overall look aesthetically (no homo).  Lets be honest, any joker can get a six pack – but it’s rare when you see an impressive upper back.  Like I said, I’m going to espound on this a bit further later in the week, but it stands to reason that you’re not getting nearly enough rowing in your programming.  Trust me.  I know everything.

 

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Squatmegeddon

I like to consider myself a pretty even keeled guy.  Outside of the occasional Tracy Anderson soundbite or random person who drives 20 MPH below the speed limit when I’m on my way to work, there’s not much that really gets my blood boiling.   Even when I was a pitcher back in my college days, my mound demeanor was fairly consistent.  I wasn’t one to yell at the umpire about balls and strikes, and I tried my best never to show much emotion, figuring it was best to show the other team that I was never rattled.

I remember one game my senior year where I gave up two base hits and a walk to start off the game.  My coach, the antithesis of calm and collected, called timeout and stormed out to the mound.

“Tony,” he said, about two inches from my grill and pointing his finger at me, “get your head in the game. You’re acting like you don’t even want to be here”  I replied, “I got it coach.”

I ended up pitching a complete game, winning 5-2.  Without throwing a temper-tantrum.

So, fast forward to two nights ago when I received the following text message from a friend of mine down in New York City:

Looking at gyms in NYC.  One gym is BANNING squat racks.  So, the opposite of the predator handshake.

No shit it’s the opposite of the Predator handshake (which, by the way, is the most awesome thing ever).  Banning squat racks is a complete and utter FAIL.

Being even termpered my ass:  I don’t think I’ve ever wanted to drop kick a puppy more in my life than after reading that message.  Really?  Banning squat racks?  What’s next – banning vegetables from grocery stores?

After a few more text exchanges, my buddy went on to say that he went to join “x” gym chain (name omitted for fear of riots that may ensue, but I’m sure you can figure it out), and neither affiliate he visited in the upper west side had a squat rack.  Apparently, according to the fitness managers of said establishments, too many people were getting injured, and that my buddy, assuredly, could garner the same benefit from using a Smith machine instead.

What the what!?!?!?!?!?!

Are they serious?

Firstly, lets just get one thing straight:  squats don’t hurt people.  What people THINK are squats hurt people.

Secondly, machines are never superior to free weights.  Ever.

Thirdly, and most importantly, I’d argue that the Smith machine is more dangerous.  The Smith machine locks you into a fixed plane of motion, which develops what is called ‘pattern overload syndrome’. This was coined by Paul Chek and is explained as:

People get a pattern overload from using the Smith machine. The more fixed the object, the more likely you are to develop a pattern overload. This is due to the fact that training in a fixed pathway repetitively loads the same muscles, tendons, ligaments and joints in the same pattern, encouraging micro-trauma that eventually leads to injury. If Johnny Lunchpail always uses a Smith machine for his bench presses, he ends up working the same fibers of the prime movers in the bench press all of the time: triceps brachii, pectoralis major, long-head of the biceps, anterior deltoids, and serratus anterior. But he can’t change the pathway, the bar will always be in the same position. This commonly leads to chronic injury over time. The weight is stabilized for you. However, the joints operate in multiple planes. Use of the Smith machine, greatly decreases stabilizer activity. That creates a problem when the trainee returns to free-weight training. When that happens, the trainee is exposed to the three-dimensional environment called real life.

If squatting in a SQUAT rack (what it’s actually designed for) is so dangerous and too many people are getting injured, why stop there?

Lets ban bench pressing because it can lead to shoulder impingement.

Lets ban pull-up bars because people may lose their grip and fall.

Lets ban deadlifting because we all know that it’s the deadlifts that are hurting people’s backs, and not the fact that they have hip flexors stiffer than a table and have the movement quality of a pregnant hippopotamus.

While we’re at it, lets also ban treadmills because they may lead to shin splints, and step-aerobic classes because we run the risk of people tripping over their pink dumbbells and pulling a groin (not to mention the risk we run of people’s ears bleeding from the cheesy 80’s music).

In fact, lets just get rid of dumbbells altogether because people may drop them on their toes!

In fact, it’s probably best to just shut down every gym in the country because people may actually sweat, and that’s just icky.

Needless to say, whomever they are, the fitness managers of the aforementioned establishments should be ashamed of themselves.  I’d be curious to hear everyone eles’s thoughts on this.  I have to assume you’re as fired up about it as I am.

 

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Stuff to Read While You’re Pretending to Work: 8/16/2011

Whole Foods Debacle – Tyler Simmons

Last weekend CP intern, Tyler Simmons, posted his latest blog on my Facebook page describing a little run-in he had with a doctor while standing in line at Whole Foods, and I HAD to share it here.

Here’s the Cliff Notes version:  Tyler essentially had what mounted to a dead cow in his grocery cart, along with a few pounds of butter.  Never a fan of just standing there twiddling his thumbs, Tyler struck up a conversation with a random man standing in line a head of him – noticing the look of horror on the man’s face.

Seriously, you HAVE to read the story – it’s classic.  All I’ll say on the matter is Cholesterol: 1, Pompous Doctor:  FAIL!

The Cholesterol Farce – Guy Schenker, D.C, and Ronald Grisanti, D.C. MS

Subsequently, after I re-posted Tyler’s article on my Facebook page, there was a nice dialogue between several people and someone linked to the article above, which I thought was a fascinating read.

And while this particular article was written by two chiropractors – not that it matters, it’s a well researched and informative piece – it should be noted that most physicians receive (maybe) two days worth of course work in the realm of nutrition during med-school (give or take a few days).  And, while I wouldn’t recommend going against your physicians word, just be aware that just because someone’s a “doctor” doesn’t necessarily mean they know what they’re talking about.   Case in point: Dr. McDouchington from Whole Foods (from the first article above).

The 50 Commandments of Commercial Gym Etiquette – Bret Contreras

I can tell that Bret had a lot of fun writing this one!  I’m just trying to find out if there’s someway I can head down to Washington to lobby Congress to make it mandatory that commercial gyms posts this on their front doors.  I’ll even write it in crayon and glitter paint – you know, to make it official!

Well said Bret.  Well said!