Categoriesmindset Motivational

Quitters Are Winners: When Is It Okay to Give Up?

Hello, hello!

I know. It’s not lost on me that I’ve been an abject failure on the “writing new content” side of things. If it’s any consolation I’ve also been lackluster on a few fronts:

  • Calling my mom.
  • Avoiding pizza.
  • Not (not) being jacked.
  • Hugs.

My free time has been monopolized by what can only be described as entrepreneurial shenanigans. That being said, this afternoon I have a few hours of free time and will be working on a new T-Nation article! That’s something, right?

RIGHT?

Nevertheless, thankfully I have a few people willing to pinch-write for me of late and to provide some excellent content for this site.

Today is another gem on “goal setting” via Paul Levitin I think will resonate with many of you reading.

Copyright: chupakabrajk

Quitters Are Winners: When It It Okay to Give Up?

“Quitters never win, and winners never quit”

It’s the motivational cliche to end all motivational cliches.

You’ve heard it before, hell, I’ve said it before.

There’s a lot of truth in that statement. It’s true most of the time. It’s true, except for when it’s not.

The unfortunate reality is, the only fundamental truth of life is that nothing is set in stone. The one rule that will always hold true, is that there are exceptions to every rule.

Woah, how’s that for a mind fuck?

via GIPHY

I do agree with the sentiment behind the “never quit, never give up” mentality. I love me a good David Goggins or Andy Frisella rant as much as the next guy.

It gets me going!

I mean, it’s just the truth.

Gonna be pretty hard for you to win a race, if you stop running before the finish line. It’s going to be pretty hard for you to be the past person standing in the battle, if you give up and sit down.

If you don’t quit, eventually, you will find success. “Consistency is key,” is a law that supersedes fitness, finance, relationships, and all life success in general.

But what about when it doesn’t?

If there are exceptions to every rule, that means that there are times where quitting is necessary. Not only is it not simply something you should avoid, but in reality, when the time calls for it, quitting is the only logical choice, and to keep pushing forward with a plan of action that ISN’T working, actually can be detrimental. You end up spending time, energy, possibly money and other resources, on something that even if “successful,” doesn’t get you the desired result.

That’s no bueno.

via GIPHY

In reality, it’s not “never quit! Quitters never win!” but more “Most of the time, quitters never win, and winners seldom quit. Except when they do, which isn’t as often, but it definitely happens, and is certainly worth mentioning.”

The latter just doesn’t quite roll off the tongue as nicely.

So never quit, except when you should. Giving up is bad, except for the times when it’s the smartest thing you can do.

The question is, how can you tell the difference?

Here are three key questions to ask yourself to know if you should soldier on, or give it up and move on to your next pursuit:

1. Is It Impossible, or Improbable? 

Often, we confuse one for the other, but they certainly are not the same. Improbable can FEEL like impossible, but that doesn’t make it so. However, some things just are impossible, and no amount of wanting it not to be so, can make it that way.

via GIPHY

For example, if I want to play basketball at a high level (not professionally, just becoming a good player), that would be hard. It would mean me, at the age of 32, picking up a sport I’ve never played, learning skills, building athleticism. Those are challenges, but if I am dedicated enough, and I put in the time, energy, and effort necessary, I invest, I get the coaching, I could see it happening.

It would probably take years, but it exists in the realm of possibility. 

If however, I wanted to become a 6’7” jacked brick-house black man, and rename myself LeBron Levitin, I might be in for some disappointment. Even if I have been training for years already, fighting for an impossible goal doesn’t make it any more likely.

This is known as a “sunk cost”. (listen to me talk about sunk costs here)

2. Is It a Bad Goal, or Is It Just Hard?

Sometimes when you set out for a goal, you don’t realize just how hard it’s going to be. Often you can’t, it takes diving in with both feet to really get the full magnitude of the experience. What comes next is usually a feeling of regret.

“Oh shit, what did I sign myself up for?”

“This is dumb, I can’t do this!”.

These feelings are natural, and the harder the endeavor, the faster they’ll come on, and the more intense they will be.

You don’t want to do hard things. No one does. Even if consciously you do, at a subconscious level, all living things have bred into one key desire: survival. At a purely biological level, anything that is hard for us to do, that makes us struggle, or really in any way uncomfortable, sets off alarms in our brain and body.

These alarms say “STOP THAT! Get to safety, quick.”

Stop sign

When you feel the desire to quit then, you have to be able to discern: am I wanting to quit because this goal is actually not ideal for me, or is it just hard?

The latter is your biological defenses coming in, and need to be disregarded in most circumstances.

  • Some goals though, just don’t work out.
  • Some projects that you start aren’t worth finishing.

That’s ok, as long as you are sure that you’re stopping because it’s actually going to benefit you in the long run, not because it’s hard or scary or uncomfortable.

3. Have I Given It Enough Time?

Time heals all wounds. Time is our most precious resource. I have father time tattooed on my forearm, because time is an infinitely interesting concept to me. We don’t want to waste time on things that aren’t beneficial, however it also takes time for things to play out, and for the trees of our labor to produce fruit.

If you’re thinking about quitting something, you need to be honest with yourself and ask: is this really not working, or have I simply not given it enough time.

via GIPHY

If you’ve been doing a workout program for three weeks and not seeing your ripped abs yet, then chances are you just haven’t given it it’s fair shot, and you need to stick it out a little longer (shiny object syndrome anyone?).

If however you’ve been working on the same program for eight months with no results, and are thinking “maybe month nine is when the gains kick in!,” then it might be time for you to reevaluate.

Unfortunately, there is not one rule for how much time to give.

It matters what the goal is, and in what area of life.

If it’s a fitness goal, a few months is usually enough time to judge. But if it’s business, or a relationship, sometimes it can be years or more.

Refer to questions one and two and decide if it’s something worth sticking it out for. If it’s an impossible goal, or a goal that isn’t worth reaching even if you get there, then move on. If it’s just really freaking hard, like frustratingly hard, but you still think the goal is worth working for, then stick it out.

This is a good time to recenter yourself with your why (Find your “why” here).

Final Thoughts

My point today is simple: you are not broken for wanting to give up or quit.

It’s human nature, and 100% of the time, it’s going to happen.

You can persevere, you can do hard things.

Sometimes though, the answer is to move on, and explore other opportunities. You don’t have to feel bad about it, and you definitely don’t have to just stick to things because “quitting is for losers!” Be honest with yourself, and be open to exploring the deeper questions of why you’re wanting to quit and move on, and I’m quite sure you’ll know what the right answer truly is. 

About the Author

Paul Levitin spent a decade as a personal trainer & strength and conditioning coach, becoming the number one trainer in his entire company, while collecting over 30 certificates (CES, CSCS, PRI, PN1, FRC, & many more).

Wanting to better serve his training clients, he began to study behavior change, and eventually became a Board Licensed Health & Wellness Coach (NBHWC). This led him to create his education and mindset coaching company “The Healthy Happy Human Academy,” where he now helps clients deal with things like self-sabotage and perfectionism, to allow them to build a healthy, happy life.

He seeks to bridge the gap between the worlds of fitness and nutrition, and the frustrated, overwhelmed masses who just want to move more, feel better, and live a little longer.

https://www.instagram.com/paullevitin/
The Healthy Happy Human Podcast
The Healthy Happy Human Academy FREE Facebook Group

 

CategoriesMotivational

Achieving a Goal Versus Achieving Success: My Take

I’m currently reading Dan John’s latest opus, 40 Years With a Whistle: Life Lessons From the Field of Play.

I enjoy Dan, and I really enjoy his writing.

One chapter in particular – Chapter 8: Achieving a Goal versus Achieving Success – resonated with me, and I wanted to take today to pontificate, mirror, and expound further on Dan’s message.

Humor me.

Copyright: yarruta / 123RF Stock Photo

Achieving a Goal vs. Achieving Success

As Dan notes:

“Achieving a goal and achieving success are not the same thing.”

My life is replete with goals I’ve achieved:

  • Earning an athletic scholarship to play baseball in college.
  • Building a career that pays the bills and doesn’t make me want to throw my face into a brick wall.
  • Finding a life partner that fulfills all my love tanks.
  • Abs.

Conversely, my life is also a bevy of goals that never came to be:

  • Playing professional baseball (so close, though).
  • Asking out Nicole Kot.
  • Becoming the third official member of the “Bash Brothers.”

The thing is though, and this was the umbrella theme of Dan’s chapter, many of our high points in life have nothing to do with achieving a specific goal – realistic or far-fetched.

They have everything to do with marinating in life’s successes.

Here are my top 10 moments in sport (and a few life):

1. 1996 & 1997 – Being Named Team (Pitching) MVP

Not many kids play past the high school level where I’m from (Groton, NY, graduating class, 55. Number of cornfields, 555). I played two years of JUCO ball at Onondaga Community College in Syracuse, NY, which had a highly competitive baseball program.

I chose to go to a community college rather than a four-year school out of high-school because I wanted to increase my chances of getting as much playing time as possible my first two years. I wish more kids and parents today would appreciate the power of actually playing over prestige in choosing a school.

I was named the team (pitching) MVP both my freshman and sophomore year.

This was a big deal given the bulk of my teammates hailed from schools who’s graduating classes were larger than my entire school (7th – 12th grades) and I was very much a small fish in a big pond.

2. April 25, 1996 – OCC: 9, MCC: 1

Our league rival when I was at OCC was MCC (Monroe Community College located in Rochester, NY). Man, were they a bunch of a-holes.

I was handed the rock (pictured above) on April 25, 1996.

I was nervous.

The very first pitch I threw that day was rocketed to right field for a single.

Okay, now I was more than nervous. I destroyed the back of my pants.

I ended up pitching a complete game earning a decisive 9-1 win.

It was a good day.1

3. 2017 – 600 lb Deadlift

Okay, technically, this counts as a goal, but whatever.

 

The kicker here is that I was finally able to hit this lift after turning 40 AND during my first year of fatherhood.

Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat.

4. 2006 – Being Intentionally Walked In a Beer League Slow-Pitch Softball Game

When Eric Cressey and I were both working as trainers in Ridgefield, CT we joined a local slow-pitch softball team.

Now, I’m not going to sit here and say Eric and I were the stars of the team, but lets just say the year prior the team didn’t make the play-offs and the year both Eric and I were on the roster the team made it to the championship series.

Eric batted lead-off and I batted fourth in the line-up.

In Game #1 of the best of three series I was intentionally walked in…

…and I can’t stress this enough: SLOW-PITCH SOFTBALL.

Granted, we ended up losing in the third game, but that’s beside the point. My grandchildren (and their grandchildren, and their grandchildren) will forever be reminded of this unprecedented athletic feat.

5. ~1984 – Unassisted Triple Play During Kickball Game

I remember it like it was yesterday.

5th Grade.

We were outside playing our daily game of kickball during recess.

You know, when school’s still had such a thing.

I was playing the outfield right behind second base. Someone kicked a liner right towards me and I caught it in mid-air (Out #1) as I simultaneously stepped on second base (Out #2) to then pivot and throw a dart straight into the back of the runner who was attempting to retreat back to 1st base.

Not today motherfucker.

Out #3.

I was king for a day.

6. 2019: This Past Sunday – Julian Displaying His Rap Skills

Mommy was away having a ladies’ weekend in Florida with a few of her high-school friends.

It was early Sunday morning and Julian and I had a few hours to burn before I took him to gymnastics class. I turned on the Sonos to play some music, KRS-One came on, and this happened…

 

Proud daddy moment.

7. 2008 – Striking Out 20 Batters in Over-30 Baseball League Game

I joined an over-30 baseball league in 2008.

We had just opened up Cressey Sports Performance the year prior and were starting to see an influx of baseball players coming to train with us.

This led to an itch to play again.

There are several very competitive leagues in or around Boston and I tried out for one of the local teams that year: the Framingham Orioles.

To be honest, I think I was throwing harder at age 31 than I was when I played collegiate ball.

It’s amazing what sound, legitimate training can do.

Anyway, that same year I had also moved in with my then girlfriend. To make a long story short, she broke up with me.

My heart was broken and I happened to have a big game that weekend.

I remember arriving to the game and giving my teammates a heads up that if I seemed a little off, well, “I’m not crying, YOU’RE crying.”

I struck out 20 batters that game and gave up one hit.

Apparently sadness, bewilderment, with a sprinkle of rage is a recipe for conjuring up your inner Roger Clemens or Kerry Wood.

8. 1995 – Passing My Driver’s License – On the 3rd Attempt

Attempt #1 – I botched my 3-point turn (put the car into reverse only to then forgot to put it back in drive. When I stepped on the gas again I went into reverse, and then slammed on the brakes. Oops).

Attempt #2 – Nailed the 3-point turn, but botched a bunch of other stuff. Forgetting to use my blinker, going 20 MPH over the speed limit, I don’t remember.

Attempt #3 – It could have gone either way, but I passed.

Boom, chaka-laka.

9. 2015 – Not Flubbing My First Dance

Lisa and I got married on May 30, 2015.

In the weeks prior we hired a choreographer to help us with our first dance as a married couple. We wanted to do something different with a non-traditional song so we felt it best to utilize a professional.

Our song was this version of “Settle Down” by Kimbra.

 

This was serious business.

We met with our instructor for an hour each week for several weeks.

This in combination with the endless “flash rehearsals” Lisa and I would perform in our kitchen or living room.

Few things intimidated me more than the fear of performing our dance. I was scared I was going to flub it.

1-2-3, twist, 1-2-3, turn right (no, wait, left), 1-2-3, oh shit, 1-2-3, I’m lost, 1-2-3, pity claps from Aunt Celia.

I’m happy to say none of the above happened: Lisa and I turned heads.

We crushed it.

10. 1995 – Hitting a Home-run off a Future 1st Round Draft Pick

In 1994 my high-school varsity team made it to the Section IV Finals in baseball. We had to face one of the best pitchers in the state, Matt Burch of Edison High School in Elmira, NY.

I never batted against him in that game. I was in a bit of a batter’s slump towards the end of that season and while coach still had my play the field (second base) he ended up DH’ing me.

He schooled us, struck out something like 15 batters (in 7 innings), and we lost the game 2-1.

Fast forward to 1995 and the IAC Exceptional Senior All-Star Game.

I was the starting pitcher on my side, and low and behold who was the opposing pitcher on the other?

Matt Burch of Edison High School.

Matt had another dominant season that year and was drafted in the late rounds by the Boston RedSox.2He would end up going to Virginia Commonwealth to play college ball and be drafted by the Seattle Mariners in the 1st road in 1998.2

Even though I was the starting pitcher I was also batting second in the line-up that day.

In the first inning I dug myself into the batter’s box and ran the count up to 2-2. Matt threw the next pitch, and with my eyes closed I swung and made contact!

I sprinted towards first base and as I was rounding it to head towards second the umpire got my attention to let me know I could slow down…

…I had hit a home-run.

You would be correct if you guessed the first person I called after the game was my coach…;o)

Dan’s Sage Words

In closing, I leave you with a quote from Dan’s original article:

“If you are striving for just achieving goals, I’m not always going to be able to help you. Your DNA, discipline and luck might be far more important than me saying, “two sets of five.”

But success?

I have always wanted health, fitness, longevity and performance as part of my life. What you see on my list is six decades of competitions. But, the competitions and the trophies pale when compared to the friendships, the love and the fun.”

Categoriespsychology

Be Like Water: The Importance of Being Flexible Without Losing Sight of Your Goal or Your Identity

I had every intention of starting off the new year with some witty, yet informative prose. One my goals for 2019 is to get back on track with more consistent writing.

Lets do this….

As it happens, my kid got Hand, Foot, & Mouth last week and of course, promptly passed it on to me. I got hammered with a fever over the weekend, and currently my feet feel like I’m walking over hot coals and my hands look like they had sex with a cucumber.

I mean, they’re not green or anything (that would be weird), but they do have bumps all over them which is super attractive.

Nonetheless, sick kid + sick Dad = not in the mood to write about undulated periodization, scapular humeral rhythm, or, I don’t know, favorite crayon colors.

Huge thanks to TG.com regular contributor, Dr. Nicholas Licameli, for pinch writing for me today.

Copyright: somchaij / 123RF Stock Photo

Be Like Water

I admire water.

It’s truly an amazing substance for many reasons. It can heal, it can hurt. It can clean, it can contaminate. It can cause frostbite, it can cause a burn. It can flood your basement or it can fill the family swimming pool. It can bring life and it can take life…

What I admire most about water is its ability to change without losing or compromising its true identity. Water can change shape, size, temperature, and even alter its own state of matter, depending on the environment it finds itself in at a particular time.

It is able to change without compromising what it is at its core: water.

“Don’t get set into one form, adapt it and build your own, and let it grow, be like water. Empty your mind, be formless, shapeless — like water. Now you put water in a cup, it becomes the cup; You put water into a bottle it becomes the bottle; You put it in a teapot it becomes the teapot. Now water can flow or it can crash. Be water, my friend.” – Bruce Lee

One may say that water is “flexible.”

The famous Bruce Lee quote above speaks to the importance of being like water and having the ability to conform to whatever container we find ourselves in at a particular moment in time. I’m no martial arts expert by any stretch of the imagination, but this is how Bruce Lee went about his training, fighting, and life.

He was fluid, shapeless, adaptable…he was like water.

It is important to understand that this does not mean we should change who we are depending on the external environment or the group of people we happen to be with.

NEVER BE SOMEONE YOU’RE NOT, JUST TO “FIT IN!”

Stay true to who you are at your core, but be flexible and adaptable. If water is poured into a Gatorade bottle, it does not change itself into Gatorade and try to be something that it’s not. No, not water. Water manages to conform to the unique curves of the bottle, while staying true to itself and remaining, well, water!

Fitness and nutrition often times involve overcoming adversity in order to stick to a plan or routine.

Those plans are often challenged by things like unexpected overtime coverage at work, a sudden leak in the basement, a family illness, a surprise snowstorm that hits and requires shoveling, holidays, the gym opens four hours late because the 17 year old juice bar barista is hungover and overslept…the list goes on.

Are these things going to cause you stress? Or, do you find a way to be fluid and work around them? It is at these times that we need to be like water.

via GIPHY

Here’s an example.

You go to the gym with the following plan in your mind: Start with the barbell bench press (must be Monday, Bro), followed by the barbell squat, then some cable curls, and finish up with abs and cardio.

You enter the gym, Eye of The Tiger and Linkin Park blasting through your headphones, ready to raise some hell when all of a sudden…the bench is taken by a group of high school kids taking selfies, someone is curling in the squat rack, and the cable station is taken by that old guy who walks around the locker room completely naked (my eyes can’t unsee some things…).

Now what?

The whole plan is ruined!

Is this going to derail you, kill your momentum and enthusiasm, and throw your whole workout for a loop? Or, do you conform to the container you happened to be poured into? As previously mentioned, do not change the core. Keep the goal the goal and keep the plan the plan, just adapt it.

An example of excessive flexibility and changing at the core would be completely changing the body parts trained or bailing on the entire workout. Properly adapting and being like water could involve substituting the barbell bench press for a dumbbell bench press or Smith machine squats for barbell squats, or dumbbell curls for cable curls.

via GIPHY

If you always have an apple at breakfast, but your wife ate the last one without you knowing, is your whole day going to be thrown off kilter? Or will you be able to conform to the current container you find yourself in and have something with similar macronutrients such as an orange, a pear, or some oatmeal instead?

Note From TG: Means for a divorce if you ask me.

Life isn’t perfect.

Life isn’t consistent.

Since the beginning of life on this planet, adaptability has been an evolutionary staple.

Adapt or die, as the saying goes.

Sometimes you have this plan, this perfect step-by-step plan, but the present circumstances do not allow it to be carried out as planned. In these instances, you must be like water, adapt, and work around what the world gives you. Again, that does not mean you should change the entire plan or change who you are depending on the external environment. Always keep the goal the goal, the plan the plan, and stay true to who you are. You can’t control everything so if you find yourself being poured from a perfectly symmetrical drinking glass into an abnormally shaped bottle, stay focused, roll with the punches, be fluid, be flexible, and be like water.

About the Author

Nicholas M. Licameli, PT, DPT

Doctor of Physical Therapy / Pro Natural Bodybuilder

Nick believes in giving himself to others in an attempt to make the world a happier, healthier, and more loving place. He wants to give people the power to change their lives. Bodybuilding and physical therapy just act as mediums for carrying out that cause. Love. Passion. Respect. Humility.   Never an expert. Always a student. Love your journey.

Youtube: HERE

Instagram: HERE

Facebook: HERE

Categoriescoaching psychology rant

How to Press the Reset Button on Your Health and Fitness Goals

If you’re like a lot of people, back on December 31, 2015 you vowed to make some changes in your life. You were going to quit smoking, drink more water, read more, spend more time with family, start a new hobby, stop watching porn3, or any number of equally nobel and novel things.

It’s likely, however, you (probably) made the decision to start exercising more or eating healthier.

“Tomorrow,” you thought to yourself, “January 1, 2016 starts a new day, a new year, a new me. For real this time.”

NO, for real, real.

And then January 2nd came (0r maybe you lasted a week, or hell, a month!) and inevitably, as is the case every year, you got hit with another case of the Eff Its.

As in, “fuck it, I’m out.”

Lets Hit the Reset Button

This is the part where I’m supposed to sit here and type comfy words like “develop a support network” or “find a workout with a buddy/friend” or “it’s okay,” or “don’t worry, you’ll get em next year, tiger!”

I’m not going to to that.

You’re a grown up, it’s time to act like one.

The onus is on YOU to make the change.

I’ll grant you you can find inspiration via an article you read, or an audiobook you listened to, and sometimes that’s what we need to hit that tipping point and push us into action.

But it’s still on you to start. To make things happen. To break the inertia of ineptitude.

You can read, renew your subscription to Audible.com, and re-watch all the same motivational workout videos on YouTube you want (and I’d encourage you to do so)…but it doesn’t mean anything unless you put things into action.

People speculate too much.

Since when do we have to “research” everything. I don’t need an article to tell me that sticking my finger in an electrical socket will hurt or that eating something that’s gluten-free will taste like sawdust dipped in anthrax.

Maybe that’s a dumb analogy, but I can’t tell you how many times I’ve had a conversation with someone about their health and fitness and come to find out…they’re really, really well-read.

They’ve read everything. They’re bookshelf would give the Health and Fitness section of Barnes & Nobles a run for its money.

Yet, they’re stuck, incapable of taking that first step; seemingly paralyzed by too much information.

Do you (we) really need a book or article or any sense of confirmation to tell us to just, you know, “show up?”

Come on. Grow up.

You have to take that first step, keep trudging forward, and then, I’d argue, learn to respect the process and not so much the outcome.

April 21, 2016

^^^ That’s today’s date as I type these words. Chances are, like many others, you fell off the New Year’s bandwagon a looooong time ago.

That “promise” you made yourself to get to the gym 3x per week, or to start training for a 5K, or to start cooking more meals at home instead of eating out?

Long gone.

So lets do something about it. Lets pony up. Lets hit the reset button.

Because, 1) why 2) the 3) fuck 4) not?

I get it: Me being all RAH-RAH telling everyone to “shut up and do the work” isn’t going to solve anything. It won’t help.

And quite frankly, isn’t in my nature anyways.

So, here are some options to ponder:

1) Shut Up, Stop Making Excuses.

Sorry, I couldn’t resist.4

2) Choice Is a Powerful Commodity

People don’t like being told what to do.5

You’re no different.

This is why marrying yourself to one ideology, or book, or person can sometimes be an epic failure. Because what works (or worked) for them, may not apply to you.

If you read a book about yoga and how it’s going to solve all the world’s problems from global warming to your waistline, yet you fucking hate yoga, what’s the likelihood it’s going to work?

For the record: you can switch out the word yoga with powerlifting, CrossFit, pilates, bodybuilding, Olympic lifting, kettlebells, or naked hula-hooping, I don’t care.

I find a lot of success with my own clients the more I give them a choice. Rather than me barking orders, I give them a sense of autonomy and it makes the experience more enjoyable.

Give yourself some choices. You don’t have to go to the gym to perform heavy squats or deadlifts. I think it’s pretty baller if you do, but you don’t have to.

Instead, maybe you want to head to the local football field and perform some 60 yd tempo runs. Or maybe summon your inner-Dan John and perform a day where you do nothing but carry variations and sled drags.

 

Heck, maybe it’s just a matter of going for a nice, leisurely walk. Exercise is exercise.  Give youself some choices. Whatever you need to do in order to put momentum in your favor…..DO IT.

3) Stretch Your Goals

I’m currently reading Smarter, Faster, Better by Charles Duhigg and one of the things he hammers home throughout the book is the notion of stretch goals.

Stretch goals, in short, are goals that force people to commit to ambitious, seemingly out-of-reach objectives which can then spark outsized jumps in innovation, productivity, and progress.

Duhigg uses several examples in his book such as GE CEO, Jack Welch, setting the bar for the company to reduce manufacturing defects on airplane engines from 25% reduction to a 70% reduction; and to do it within three years.

This, of course, was seen as “ridiculous” by managers.

But they got it done.

And while he wasn’t used an example in this book, Steve Jobs was also notorious for pushing his employees to the point where things seemed impossible.

Helping turn Apple back around into one of the most respectable companies in the world? What’s next…1000 songs in your pocket?

Oh, wait.

The point is: sometimes we undershoot our goals, and the concept of SMART (Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Realistic, Timeline), while admirable and tested, isn’t enough.

We need stretch goals. Goals that seem unattainable.

Telling yourself that you want to try to hit the gym 2x per week is fine, but telling yourself “I want to hit the gym 5x per week so that I can rub it in my ex’s face (and possibly bang their best friend)” is even better.

“I want to learn to squat better” is cool. But setting a stretch goal for yourself and signing up for your first powerlifting meet at the end of the year is going to light a fire under your ass. It’ll get you out of your comfort zone and give you a sense of purpose and intent in your training.

You’re going to be more likely to kick-ass and take names. Shooting for the stars, may in fact, be exactly what you need.

I want to fight Jason Bourne. There, I said it…….;o)

CategoriesMotivational

Focus on the Process, NOT the Outcome

Boston is in the midst of yet another snow storm today. We’re expecting a foot on top of the two feet we got in last week’s storm.

It’s probably good timing given most people called into work this morning anyways due to the Pats winning the big game last night.

Such an awesome game last night, as most people expected. And don’t even get me started on that finish. Nail biter to say the least!

Tough call by Pete Carroll to throw the ball instead of handing it off to Beast Mode (Lynch) with 1-yd to go to win the SuperBowl, but deflategate talk notwithstanding, the Pats won the game fair and square.

Cue the duck boats

So today I have a guest post from Lisa, my fiance. She’s a psychologist and knows a thing or two when it comes to behaviors and behavior change. Today she sheds some light on goal setting and how many of us view it from the wrong context or window.

Enjoy!

Focus on the Process

Purposes for physical activity abound. Feeling good, living longer, getting stronger. Better blood pressure, in-check cholesterol, enhanced mood, improved sleep, increased sex drive, looking hot, and on and on and on.

Any way you slice it exercise = good stuff.

If you are searching for a goal to focus on and help you get active, stay active, or increase your activity, your options are endless!

Despite this plethora of purposes, many struggle to stay consistent with their physical activity pursuits…

Several weeks ago, we thought a bit about your “continuum” of motivation, and considered ALL of your motives to be important contributors to your ongoing success. Our motivations are often connected to an outcome – a goal.

Consider your motivations, and then identify at least one goal (or more) that you have recently identified as important to you…

What do you notice?

Hopefully, and similarly to motivation, you’ve identified a few goals, if not many, that cover a range of outcomes, like health, fitness, energy level, mood improvement, and last, but probably not least, appearance.

Lookin’ good. We all want to look good, or better. It’s part of human nature to want to improve ourselves and to be attractive to others. But if we are exclusively (or mostly) focused on weighing less, being a smaller/larger pant size, or looking more attractive to others, we might be set up for failure.

“How could this be?” you ask? “Since everything and everyone promotes the importance of exercising for improved appearance” you exclaim!?

Let me count the ways:

#1. It’s not really your goal anyway.

Where on earth did you get the idea that your thighs should be “longer and leaner”? I bet you some long, lean lady on TV. Who told you a 6-pack is the way to “finding a mate”? I bet some “Health” magazine columnist.

What is the true significance of dropping a dress size or a waist size? I bet you’ll tell me, “that’s what I want”, but is it really? Or have you been led to believe that some arbitrary appearance-based outcome is a means to a happy end?

We are inundated with images and messages about what bodies should look like all the live-long day. Not only do these messages include impressive, often impossible-to-replicate images, but also judgment, guilt, and the especially toxic shame.

Just last month, a large commercial gym (which shall go unnamed here) posted a sign in the lobby, “Santa, have you looked at yourself in the mirror lately?” To the sadistic and probably-sedentary marketing bastards who incite guilt and shame to boost membership sales, I ask, are we seriously shaming Santa?

Guilt and shame. Motivational?

In the short term, maybe. But over time, heck no.

In the long run, we internalize guilt and shame (a shift from, “I ate something bad” to “I am something bad”… from, I had a “dirty meal” to “I am a dirty fat slob”). Belief in the latter renditions of guilt and shame do nothing for getting us to the gym, and often enable giving up, sitting down, and digging in to a bigger, nastier bag of chips (Or as they say in 12-step programs, a case of the “F-it’s”).

Focusing only on an outcome (in the absence of other goals and motives) can be a thankless, fun-less, motivational vacuum that drains your moxie and damages your confidence and self-image.

#2. Appearance-related goals often focus on a superficial, societally valued outcomes.

How long can you stay in hot pursuit of bigger biceps, skinnier thighs, or a smaller belt size? A week? A month? Right up until the evening of the wedding/reunion/gala?

The motivation based on the reward of a few less pounds or a smaller dress size has an expiration date. There are a few different reasons for this, but first and foremost, external rewards lose their motivational power over time. Anyone who’s ever hit a goal weight and then has trouble staying consistent with his or her nutrition and training regimen knows this.

A “goal” to attain something society values isn’t a goal, so much as a “should”.

The surreptitious, insidious belief that you “should” be ‘skinny’, ‘lean’, or have a ‘6-pack’ of abs has gotten a hold of you. As Dr. Ellis, father of Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT) liked to sometimes say to his patients, “You’re just ‘should-ing’ on yourself”.

In other words, it is a B.S. goal – someone else’s goal that you have adopted (mistakenly) as your own.

Symptoms that you are “should-ing” on yourself with an outcome goal include A). Resentment toward the goal, or to those who have achieved the goal. B). Constantly “breaking rules” that make obtaining the goal impossible, and/or C). Feeling excessive guilt or shame about your “inability” to achieve the goal.

#3. You are focused on the outcome – instead of the process.

I know. “Eyes on the prize”. “Go for the Gold”, right?

It seems only natural to focus on the desired outcome in order to keep you pushing toward it. However, focusing on the outcome ONLY can drain motivation, impair performance, and actually have a negative impact on goal achievement. On the other hand, a focus on the process of your goals can be more enjoyable AND more effective in helping you achieve the outcome.

In other words, a process oriented goal focuses on the journey – not the destination.

Now, you don’t want to throw your outcome goal out with the motivational bathwater! Having a goal of any kind is good – you just want to mix it up, particularly if your goal is long term.

For example:

Let’s say you’re getting married in three months and 28 days (just for example6), and you want bring down your body fat percentage by 5%.

Focusing ONLY on your body fat percentage during the next four months will be no fun at all!

But as you monitor your macros and get after it at the gym, here are some in-the-moment goals that focus on the process and facilitate continued striving toward the ultimate outcome:

  • “When I squat today, my goal is to focus on form… brace abs, ass to grass, slow down, fast up…”
  • “My chin ups will rock the house this morning! Dead hang, solid core, exhale up quick, inhale down, slow…”
  • “I’m eating more slowly… noting how I feel before and after… I’m learning how to feed myself differently… how to fuel my workouts… I’m cooking new recipes that look delicious… I’m paying attention to how I feel after my meals…”

Do you see the difference? Your outcome goal focuses on the end. Your process goal focuses on the means. Your outcome goal involves the infinite form of a verb (“I want to be 10 pounds lighter” or “I want to have biceps that are two inches bigger).

Your process goal involves the gerund (I am squatting to depth” “I am pushing the barbell away from my chest, and pulling the barbell toward my chest”).

Remember, process goals can always act in the service of an outcome. Setting an outcome goal, but then focusing on the process can be worthwhile for a number of reasons:

  1. Performance enhancement: If you are thinking about the process of your workout, and not just the outcome, you can bet you’ll have better form, stronger focus, and increased resolve to add weight, reps, or both.
  1. Avoiding negativity: Sometimes, outcome orientation causes us to focus on what NOT to do (“I will not eat any Doritos this week!”). Guess what happens when you try to NOT think about Doritos? Or skipping a day at the gym? Or how bad you will feel if you don’t hit your goal? Focusing on the process is foolproof, because you’re ALWAYS thinking about what to do. Process orientation keeps you in the present moment, away from shoulds, guilt, and doubt.
  1. Enjoyment: It’s true! Being fully engaged in a goal-directed activity is an evidence-based way to be a happy camper. If you’re interested in learning more about this, check out Flow (2008), written by another favorite psychologist of mine, Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi.

So, want to give it a try?

If you do, you can think back to your current goal, which is probably an outcome. Now, take a moment to consider the processes that are involved in this outcome (lifting, learning, cooking, sleeping, and so on). Each week you work toward your outcome, choose a specific process to focus on.

For example, clean up your deadlift technique, finally learn how to “braise” all of that protein you need to be eating, or dedicate a workout to focusing on your breath, throughout all your reps and sets.

Experiment a little and see what you notice. Does the time fly by at the gym, because you were so wrapped up in exhaling and inhaling? Or could you add a few more chin-ups because your breath was so big and strong? Or do you just feel like a bad ass at the end of a focused, fully committed training session?

No matter your current goal, an overarching life long goal for you might be feeling good, living longer, or getting stronger. All of these are a process, and ideally a pursuit that never ends. So, enjoy your journey by focusing on your process.

Good Luck, and let me know how it goes!

CategoriesMotivational

Walking With Purpose

Today’s guest post is brought to you by current Cressey Sports Performance intern, resident practicing veterinarian, and lover of all things lifting heavy, Hannah Wellman.

You heard me correctly. Hannah is indeed a veterinarian; an equine veterinarian as a matter of fact. She’s originally from Australia, worked in the U.S for several years (in Kentucky no less, working with horses), went back home, and then had the crazy idea of coming back to the States to hang out with us at CSP for a few months.

I can say unequivocally that we’ve been the benefactor of her presence.

How many training facilities get to say that one of their coaches is a practicing veterinarian?

Anyhoo, one day she and I were chatting and out of nowhere she made the comment, “Tony, ever notice how you walk with purpose?“

Having no idea what she was referring to, I pressed further.

“What do you mean?” I asked, envisioning, in my head, some form of crossbreed walk between The Rock strutting down the ramp towards the wrestling ring and Rupaul in the video Supermodel.

You know, purpose!

Come to find out, it was nothing close to that…..;o)

I asked her to expound on her comment and below is what she came up with.  It’s pretty amazing.

Hope you enjoy it.

Walking With Purpose

A couple of weeks after meeting Tony I mentioned to him that I thought he “walked with purpose”. It wasn’t something that I had planned to say or formulated in advance, and I can’t remember the exact circumstances surrounding the comment. I was just stating a simple observation. There’s something about how someone carries themselves when they think nobody is looking that reveals a lot about their character.

Because of this comment, and perhaps my slightly unique background, Tony asked if I would share my thoughts on what I think it means to “walk with purpose”. I broke it down from my perspective.

1. People who ‘walk with purpose’ know who they are.

Understanding who you are is probably one of the trickiest things to authentically achieve as it requires some hard-hitting self reflection and honesty. Additionally, it is a constant process.

I’ve worked hard at this over the last five years and know I’m on my way. This doesn’t mean I don’t make mistakes. I still fall for the wrong guy sometimes, lose my confidence in certain situations and make the wrong Dairy Queen Blizzard selection.

The difference is I am now more aware of it, and more importantly, I learn from it.

When you know who you are trying to the best of your ability you can start to align your life with your foundational beliefs, values and principles.

Leading a congruent life leads to less resistance and more purposeful choices.

2. People who ‘walk with purpose’ epitomize SWAG.

To me this parallels someone who has a goal. Goals create the stepping stones forward and promote accountability to keep your foot on the gas.

Nothing is more devastating than watching someone coast through life on cruise control well under their potential. The business philosopher Jim Rohn stated it is often not about the goal itself but who you become on your way to achieving it.

There is also a big difference between an idea and a goal. Ideas are things you are interested in. I had an idea once to cycle the length of Africa from Cairo to Cape Town. I have yet to buy the required bicycle or book the ticket.

Goals are things you commit to. I had a goal to learn more about coaching and the principles of strength and conditioning six months ago. Here I am on the other side of the world at Cressey Sports Performance.

You have to turn your innovations from ideas into goals with an expiry date…and then, this is the clincher, execute them.

3. People who ‘walk with purpose’ live by their principles not by their feelings.

I was at a conference recently where Eric Thomas spoke on this subject. He stated that “at the end of your feelings lies nothing, but at the end of your principles is a promise.”

Feelings will take you all over the place and can be heavily influenced by external environmental and human factors. There’s a reason they call it an emotional roller-coaster. You feel like you are moving forward but in fact when it’s all said and done you get off right where you started.

Coach Wooden would purposefully not give a pre-game speech to stir up emotions in his athletes. He believed for every artificial peak created there was a valley. This doesn’t mean you shouldn’t acknowledge and reflect on your feelings as they occur, it just means people who ‘walk with purpose’ don’t live at their mercy.

Principles on the other hand are strong and stable. You have complete control over them. They are built from experience and a deeper understanding of the world and your place in it.

In a mess? Check your feelings. You can’t get lost on the straight road marked by your principles.

4. People that ‘walk with purpose’ embrace change.

I’ve made some big changes in the last year and I’ve noticed a theme from some of the unhappier people in my life. When they hear about some of my choices (many of which have been a little “out of the box”), they suggest how lucky I am that change is easy for me because it’s hard for them.

I want to set a couple things straight.

Firstly, change is inevitable. The difference is you either try to drive the bus or let the bus drive over you.

Secondly, change is generally uncomfortable for everyone. In the last year or so just about every major facet of my life has changed. Every step has been challenging but every stage has pushed me forward. The difference between those who embrace change and those who avoid it has nothing to do with circumstance.

Those that embrace change are not deterred by “hard”. To ‘walk with purpose’ you realize that change and growth are inseparable and you’re willing to feel uncomfortable through the transitions forward.

5. People who ‘walk with purpose’ realize their purpose is to serve.

As Gandhi said; “the best way to find yourself is to lose yourself in the service of others”.

There is nothing more rewarding than giving your best to someone else. I currently volunteer as a telephone crisis supporter for a national suicide and crisis hotline. The role required extensive training. As a veterinarian I have some experience with emotional situations so felt fairly confident about the process before I started. Was I ever in for an awakening!

I struggled through the first few months of the training program. I’m naturally a ‘problem-solver’; come to me with an issue and I’m going to immediately start formulating a plan to work through it.

This works for animals but not people.

When applied to the human species it’s kind of an arrogant and disempowering philosophy.

People need to be heard first. I had to learn to slow it down, be in the moment and get comfortable directly acknowledging and talking about someone’s feelings without offering advice…ever.

Next time you’re having a conversation, monitor what you’re saying. When someone states something do you automatically respond with a similar experience or your thoughts about theirs?

Try talking to someone for an hour without giving advice or passing an opinion. Be in the moment and really hear what they’re saying. It’s about them not you. That’s the challenge. That’s the foundation of service.

Conclusion

People who ‘walk with purpose’ hold their own compass to determine their path. Their principles align with their actions. Since my comment I’ve been lucky enough to spend a little more time observing Tony’s “walk” and I can tell you he “walks the talk”. I’ve seen him wear a Transformers t-shirt (be who you are), build his business (SWAG), travel (embrace change) and mentor and support many fitness professionals (service).

This man ‘walks with purpose’.

About the Author (By Tony)

Hannah (Wellman) doesn’t have a website or a bunch of links to social media that I can link you towards (although, HERE’s her Facebook page).

All I can offer is that she’s easily one of the most caring, easy-going, and genuine individuals I’ve ever met.

As alluded to above, she’s a practicing veterinarian (both in the US and Australia) who also has a passion for lifting heavy things.

She’s the sh#t.

(<—–) She’s also the one pictured on the left.

CategoriesMotivational

Everyone’s Goal for 2013: Train With a Purpose

Happy New Year everyone!!!  Hope you all had a fun, safe, and eventful New Years.  Lisa and I kept with our own tradition and spent our New Years in Boston’s historic North End eating bread with olive oil, pasta, and there might have been a few (dozen) pastries thrown into the mix.  Basically it was one ginormous gluten fest, and it was worth every calorie.

We were kind of rushed through dinner – we made reservations at 10 PM, hoping to be there when midnight hit – not knowing that the kitchen closed at 11.

So by 11:15, we have to make the executive decision to hop back on the “T,” pastries in tow, and head back to our apartment so that we could watch the fireworks on tv.  Low and behold the higher ups of the MBTA decided to take the train we were riding out of commission, and we were forced to get off and wait for the next one to arrive.

As the minutes passed with no train in sight, both Lisa and I were bummed that the likelihood that we’d be spending the first moments of 2013 on the train – and not in the comfort of our own living room – were more and more evident.

Alas, the train finally arrived and we were back in business.

We only live like five stops from the heart of the city, but when you ride the Green Line five stops can seem like an eternity.  At like 11:57, we were one stop away but decided to get off and spint – literally sprint – up the street to our apartment building.

Suffice it to say, we made it just in a nick of time, and right as I turned on the television Fergie was yelling HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!

We kissed, and more importantly wolfed down our goodies from the North End.  And, I think we were both dead asleep within the hour.  Yeah, you can say we’re pretty romantic….;o)

New Year’s day itself was pretty low-key, but that’s exactly what I wanted.  We closed the facility for the entire day which meant I was able to sleep in. Score!

After some basic food prep, we headed to a local Boston Sports Club for our first training session of 2013.  Fittingly, Lisa and I both benched pressed our asses off.  Why not, right?

She did some cluster sets with me, and afterwards, for the hell of it, I had her attempt a one-rep max.

She smoked 150 lbs! If we hadn’t done all that work beforehand, I’m willing to bet should could have hit 160-165 lbs, easy.

The kicker is that while we were testing her 1RM, there was an older gentleman training at the bench press station next to us puttering around with 95 lbs.

Now, maybe that was challenging weight for him, who knows?  But I have a sneaky suspicion that it wasn’t.

As I looked around, I couldn’t help but notice the same kind of blase “hey-I’m-at-the-gym-so-it-has-to-count-for-something” attitude amongst many of the gym patrons.

Most looked like zombies just going through the motions. Some torso twists here, some arm circles there, and texting. Lots and lots of texting.  Why people can’t leave their iPhone’s in their locker is beyond me.

There was one guy, however, taking himself through some massive free-for-all circuit of god-knows what (and making guttural noises that can best be described as a grizzly bear getting raped by a rhinoceros), so I’ll give credit where it’s due.  My man was getting after it!

As a whole, though, pretty much everyone was just, you know……there.  As if that’s all that matters.

Sure, there’s a lot to be said about taking some initiative and making an effort to head to the gym – especially on New Year’s day. That should be commended, and as GI Joe would say “is half the battle.”

We all know the saying: the hardest part is showing up!

But there’s a lot more to “it” than just showing up.

Whatever “it” may be – for some it’s shedding off the Holiday weight gain.  For others it’s more specific like nailing a 2x bodyweight bench press – you can’t just expect things to magically happen because you walked through the doors.

There has to be some semblance of urgency or better yet, PURPOSE when you train.

Now, I’m not saying you have to go all CrossFit and train to the point where you cough up your appendix every training session. That serves no purpose.

But what I AM saying is that you should train with a purpose. Train with some balls!  Or, in the case of the ladies reading, with some fallopian tubes (because, you know, you don’t have balls).

Try to have a clear-cut, attainable, measurable goal to train for.  I don’t care what it is – I’m not here to state what that should be.  But if you’re lifting a weight for ten reps (and you could have easily gotten 20), or more to the point, you just meander around the gym floor with no rhyme or reason and just kind of “fake it till you make it,” you’re doing yourself a huge disservice.

So everyone’s goal for 2013 is to train with a purpose.

Try it – you might be surprised as to how much of a difference it can make.  And for the love of god, put away the phone!

CategoriesUncategorized

What’s Your Goal?

I was talking shop with one of my clients last week, checking in with her progress, asking her how things have been going, when she looked up at me with a visible “look” on her face and said, “I don’t think I’m making as much progress as I think I could be.  I think I need a goal.”

This one seems kind of obvious, but it’s often surprising just how many people look back at you with a blank stare when asked one simple question:

What are your goals?

Can you answer that question?  If someone were to look you dead in the eyes and ask “why are you going to the gym today, what are your goals?” would you be able to answer them with a definitive answer?

Exacerbating the issue – almost infinitely so – is the fact that people just kinda show up and go through the motions.  Quite literally, there’s no sense of purpose in their training – no gusto or razzle dazzle, if you will.  I’m not saying this is the case with my client, but for many, going to the gym is more of a chore (or nuisance) than anything else, and they just walk around like a chicken with their head cut off – walking from machine to machine with no game plan.  In short, they’re just there.

We’ve all seen it:  The guy reading his newspaper while in the leg press; or the two women laughing hysterically as they curl their pink dumbbells ad nauseum.   Is it any wonder that these are the same people who will complain that despite paying their gym membership on a monthly basis, NEVER look different?

Just showing up ain’t gonna cut it – you NEED a goal.

Taking it a step further, you need a SPECIFIC goal.

Using myself as an example, it wasn’t long ago when I was just a skinny, cardio-obsessed, bicep curl junkie who, regardless of what I did, could never put on any weight.  Or so it seemed.

Of course, if I could go back in time and drop kick myself in the face for thinking that running 15-20 miles per week and doing 500 crunches per day was the best road to Jackedville, I would do it.  Hindsight is 20/20, right?

Anyways, it was 2003, and my girlfriend at the time just broke up with me. Balls.  Adding insult to injury, she moved in with her “new” boyfriend, less than two miles from where I lived.   Yeah, that sucked.

Needless to say, it wasn’t my finest hour, and somewhere between watching endless episodes of Queer Eye for the Straight Guy (hey, it was 2003 and those guys were everywhere.  Don’t judge me!) and punching holes in the wall, I decided that it was high time that I make a concerted effort to put on some weight.

It was during that time that I first started reading t-nation.com and devouring anything and everything written by John Berardi.  I ditched the body-part splits (no more calves and rear delt day), started being honest with myself and learned to squat to depth, implemented a “new to me” exercise called the deadlift, nixed the distance running and instead started doing more sprints at the local high school track, and most important of all, stopped eating like an anorexic hummingbird.

I had a goal:  to get my swole on and there was nothing, NOTHING, that was going to stop me.    Actually, to be more specific, it was to put on 25 lbs – but “gettin my swolification on” sounds cooler.

Fast forward ten months, I went from 180 lbs to 210 lbs, and looked like a new person.   Now, I know people want photographic evidence, and while I’m normally pretty reluctant to post shirtless pictures of myself up on the internet, I think this discussion warrants a little visual perspective.

Here’s me back when all I did was run a lot, throw 82 MPH fastballs, and do bicep curls the day after a start.  This picture was taken around 1998 during one of the many summers I lifeguarded while home during summer break (I’m on the left).

That’s pretty much what I looked like all through college leading up to about 2002 – and, if you can believe it, I was even skinnier and less likely to have girls want to hang out with me when I was in high school.

Conversely, here are a few pictures I found on my laptop from around 2003-2004, which coincide when I actually stopped training like a raging pussy.

Aside from the fact that I was as white as a Coldplay concert, I was easily 30-40 lbs heavier in these pictures as compared to the ones above.  And, fast forward a decade later I’ve been able to keep the weight on and stay equally as lean year round.  One of the benefits of working in a gym.

Now, I’m not showing these to brag or show-off (okay, maybe a little), but rather, to showcase that having a goal, a mission, a purpose, can make all the difference in the world.  Looking back at my training career (which started when my parents got me my first weight set when I was 13), I can’t help but notice how much time and effort I wasted just going through the motions.

Bringing things around to you, I don’t care if your goal is to lose “x” number of pounds by the end of summer, lose the love handles, bench a certain amount of weight, or train for a show or meet – WRITE IT DOWN on a piece of paper, put it on a post-It note and plaster it on your fridge, I don’t care.  Make it concrete.  Make it real.   I’m telling you right now, it will hold you more accountable and light a fire under your ass.

As Dan John would say, your goal is to keep the goal, the goal.  If you don’t have a goal in the first place, however, what’s the point?

This is the exact same mentality that I’m using now in my efforts to deadlift 600 lbs.  My training is centered around a purpose in the hopes that I’ll eventually attain it.  If I didn’t have some sense of “why the hell am I doing this?”, I’d only be spinning my wheels – much like I did in the years described above.

So, again I ask:

What’s your goal?