Categoriesmindset Motivational personal training

4 Tips I’d Give Myself on Day 1 of My Fitness Journey

As I type these words on my keyboard I am aboard an Irish Rail train en route to Galway. We just spent the past five days in Dublin being tourists making the typical pit stops at sites like Trinity College, the Temple Bar neighborhood, and I even had a Guinness at the renowned Gravity Bar atop the Guinness factory.1

We still have several more days lined up exploring the sites of Ireland with everything culminating in Belfast where we plan to hit up the Titanic Belfast Museum as well as the Giants Causeway and a few filming locations of Game of Thrones.

#nerdlife.

Suffice to say I am in no mood to write new content. Thankfully my man Paul Levitin was thoughtful enough to send me a guest post before I left on my trip. He’s written a handful of excellent posts in recent months and this one no different.

Enjoy!

Copyright: nithid

4 Tips I’d Give Myself on Day 1 of My Fitness Journey

After working in a gym for nearly a decade, and collecting every certification under the sun, it’s easy to become jaded and say “everyone knows this stuff.”

Factually, most people do not.

Today, instead of thinking about where I am now, with 10 years of experience, I want to go back.

It’s easy for me to say “I don’t count calories anymore,” but that’s because I counted calories for nearly a decade, and I have more nutrition labels memorized than I do phone numbers at this point.

So If I had to start from scratch, if today was day 0 of my fitness journey, where would I begin? 

Knowing what I know now, what would I do to most leverage my time and energy? 

via GIPHY

One thing is for sure: When I first started, I had no clue what I was doing. I wasted a lot of time, literally years doing the wrong things. I wasted money, buying useless supplements and other gimmicky products like sauna suits.

So if i could travel back in time to the first day of my fitness journey, here are my 4 tips that I would give my 17 year old self:

1. Don’t Overlook the Simple. Don’t Overvalue the Complex

Some things are so simple, so easy, I just couldn’t understand how they might be helpful

Things like, parking farther away at the parking lot, taking the stairs instead of the elevator, walking to the store instead of driving.

Like, yea, I get it, you get some steps, but could the hundred steps it takes to get from one end of the parking lot to the other, or the extra two minutes it takes to walk three flights of stairs instead of taking the elevator really make a difference?

It turns out that yes, yes it can. 

via GIPHY

Most people think that exercising, whether it’s lifting weights or doing cardio or anything else, represents a huge amount of calories being burned.

In reality, an hour of even the most high intensity exercise will only burn a few hundred calories, a small percentage of your daily calorie intake and burn.

The vast majority of your calories are spent each day simply living. Between bodily functions, like keeping your blood pumping and keeping the lights on in your head, to doing daily tasks like walking, eating, typing, and everything else you tend to do.

It makes sense, since simply proportionally, even if you spend an hour in the gym five days a week, that’s only five hours out of 168, which is 8.4%. Just logically, we have much more opportunity during the remaining 91.6% than we possibly could in the exercise time, no matter how hard we try to push it during those 4 or 5 hours.

A key step towards health then becomes trying to do more in your non exercise time. That walk from the end of the parking lot here, taking the stairs there, getting off your train a stop early and walking, or deciding to explore a new city on foot rather than take an Uber, these things can seem trivial, but over days, weeks, months, and years, they add up.

They keep you moving, they keep you burning, and it’s a key habit that all healthy people adopt, either consciously or unconsciously.

2. Eating for Health and Eating for Weight Loss Are Not Necessarily the Same. Exercising for Health and Exercising for Aesthetics Are Not Necessarily the Same

This one throws people through a loop. It definitely took me some time to wrap my head around.

I saw countless clients as a nutrition coach, as well as myself, getting frustrated saying “I’m eating so healthy, but I’m not losing weight!” That’s because these goals are not one in the same, and taken to extremes, can actually be counter to one another.

The problem comes from the ambiguous definition of “healthy.” To many people seeking to lose weight, they use the terms interchangeably.

A doctor, nutritionist, or health blog however, might use the term “healthy” to mean more nutritious, with more healthy fats. This however might mean more calories, which means that a big bowl of almonds every day might be hurting your weight loss, more than helping it.

Nuts in assortment, Walnuts, pecans, almonds and other. Healthy food snack mix

Or, some “naturalist” type, might say “healthy” to mean less artificial ingredients. To them then, a 200 calorie kombucha would be “healthy,” but a zero calorie, zero sugar diet coke, would not, even though the latter would result in less calories consumed, and thus more potential weight loss than the former.

The same can be said for exercise. Hang around any heavy duty lifting gym for long enough, and talk to enough jacked and shredded bodybuilders and powerlifters, and you know what you’ll hear?

Stories of torn rotator cuffs, blown out backs, and bad knees. Probably some disordered eating as well, and quite potentially, the use of some illicit substances.

People might look “good” (whatever that means), but their health is actually suffering because of it

Now, does this mean these things are mutually exclusive?

Of course not.

You can eat in a way that is both healthy and ideal for weight loss, and you can exercise in a way that makes you look and feel sexy af, while also improving your overall health and longevity.

I am simply saying that this is not inherently the case, and the sooner that you come to grips with that, the less frustrated you will be.

That brings me right to the next point…

3. Optimal Is Only Optimal if You Do It. Don’t Optimize Yourself Out of Consistency

For a long time, I tried to force things,

I was a personal trainer, so I studied the science. I studied the studies.

Squats are more optimal for muscle development than leg press. Cool, no more leg press, only squats.

Girl doing back squat

The optimal weekly routine has you hitting each body part 2 to 3 times per week, that means more focus on big muscle groups like back and legs, and less on arms, abs, and anything smaller.

Optimal cardio is low intensity steady state, those HIIT days are killing your gains. Ok, no more HIIT, only walking. (Jury is back out on this one).

As time went on, I continued to optimize and tweak and adjust, until where I started was nowhere at all where I began.

Now, this in and of itself, certainly isn’t a bad thing. It was the constant learning, optimization, and tweaking that allowed me to achieve the results that I had, like reaching a 500lb deadlift or sub 10% bodyfat.

But that was me. I was a personal trainer, spending seven days in the gym, eating, breathing, and sleeping fitness and nutrition information. It was my life. I was uniquely dedicated, and there was nothing that was going to throw me off course.

Often, people would see what I was doing, be it friends, family, or clients, and try to do the same. Unfortunately, they weren’t me (Sad, I know).

What I mean is, they weren’t coaches. They had lives outside of the gym, they had responsibilities, they had families, they had limited time.

Because of that, often what the science might have said was the most OPTIMAL workout might not fit with their lives.

Beyond that, what is more important, is that what is OPTIMAL does not take into account what is ENJOYABLE.

I was nut, I was going to do whatever it took to get lean and strong.

Normal people, which you might consider yourself to be, might want to, oh, I don’t know, enjoy their exercise routines?

Eat food that doesn’t look like it could be fed to a rabbit?

Traditional Russian dishes, sweets and vodka

Crazy huh?

The thing is, in the quest for optimization, individuality is lost.

If we are assuming that there is ONE optimal way, (which we can argue about, and people on the internet surely will) that means that anything other than optimal is inherently deemed “wrong” or “worse”.

That can be disheartening for people who are already struggling with just getting to the gym or getting off the couch, now they are being told they are doing it wrong too.

So while I do think there is a time and place for doing what’s best, not if it comes at the expense of actually doing the damn thing.

So many people these days hear that strength training is the end all be all of exercise. And for good reason, it’s the bee’s knees, the benefits are basically endless.

BUT, if you’re someone who loves Zumba and going for long runs, should those be poo-poo’ed because they aren’t as optimal as lifting weights?

If you try to force yourself into a box, there’s a chance you might fit, but there’s always also a chance you might get claustrophobic and go crazy

This takes experimentation, and some knowledge of self

I’m not saying don’t try to optimize or ever do what’s best. Just saying, tread carefully, and a non-optimal workout routine done consistently for years is infinitely better than the most scientifically optimal workout that you do for 6 weeks then quit because you hate it

Which, brings me to point four,

4. In the Long Game, Consistency Wins. This is the Long Game, Whether You Like it or Not

When I was 17, I cared about one thing, and one thing only: looking good. More specifically, looking good right now. If I absolutely had to wait, I would accept results tomorrow, but beyond that we were really starting to push it.

Unfortunately, at the time, I was living in this dumb stupid super annoying place called “reality.”

It really was the worst.

Every day, I’d go to the gym and do abs, then lift my shirt up, and NO ABS. It was like a cruel joke.

Now you might be saying, been there Paul. And if you have, maybe you know what my next step was: obviously, logically, it was, more.

  • More abs!
  • More cardio!
  • More more more!

Looking back now, I can see how the logic might have been a little flawed. What I’m not doing isn’t working? Hmm, let’s do more of it!

Poor exercise selection and actual workout programming aside, this route couldn’t work for one key reason: it was unsustainable.

I’d sit doing abs in the gym for 2 hours some days, and be so sore the next day I couldn’t move, or so tired and lethargic I’d skip the day’s planned workout.

And simply logistically, there was no way for me to do 2 and 3 hour workouts like that consistently.

The problem was, I was looking at everything with a short-sighted view. Life, on the other hand, is long. So all my plans revolved around getting results as fast as possible, even though I was a teenager, and barely even started my life

And this is unfortunately how most people look at exercise, eating, and health in general. It’s all about now. Some people think about longevity, but it’s an afterthought at best

The thing is, life is going to happen, whether you want it to or not. You are going to get older. You are going to be 30, 40, 60, 80, whatever, at some point. So for better or worse, you might as well start thinking about it now.

Internalizing these 4 tips will help you create a lifestyle that works for you, and you can keep up with. That way, you can be healthy and enjoy it, not for weeks, or months, but years and decades.

About the Author

Paul Levitin spent a decade as a personal trainer & strength and conditioning coach, becoming the number one trainer in his entire company, while collecting over 30 certificates (CES, CSCS, PRI, PN1, FRC, & many more).

Wanting to better serve his training clients, he began to study behavior change, and eventually became a Board Licensed Health & Wellness Coach (NBHWC). This led him to create his education and mindset coaching company “The Healthy Happy Human Academy,” where he now helps clients deal with things like self-sabotage and perfectionism, to allow them to build a healthy, happy life.

He seeks to bridge the gap between the worlds of fitness and nutrition, and the frustrated, overwhelmed masses who just want to move more, feel better, and live a little longer.

https://www.instagram.com/paullevitin/
The Healthy Happy Human Podcast
The Healthy Happy Human Academy FREE Facebook Group

 

Categoriesmindset Motivational

Quitters Are Winners: When Is It Okay to Give Up?

Hello, hello!

I know. It’s not lost on me that I’ve been an abject failure on the “writing new content” side of things. If it’s any consolation I’ve also been lackluster on a few fronts:

  • Calling my mom.
  • Avoiding pizza.
  • Not (not) being jacked.
  • Hugs.

My free time has been monopolized by what can only be described as entrepreneurial shenanigans. That being said, this afternoon I have a few hours of free time and will be working on a new T-Nation article! That’s something, right?

RIGHT?

Nevertheless, thankfully I have a few people willing to pinch-write for me of late and to provide some excellent content for this site.

Today is another gem on “goal setting” via Paul Levitin I think will resonate with many of you reading.

Copyright: chupakabrajk

Quitters Are Winners: When It It Okay to Give Up?

“Quitters never win, and winners never quit”

It’s the motivational cliche to end all motivational cliches.

You’ve heard it before, hell, I’ve said it before.

There’s a lot of truth in that statement. It’s true most of the time. It’s true, except for when it’s not.

The unfortunate reality is, the only fundamental truth of life is that nothing is set in stone. The one rule that will always hold true, is that there are exceptions to every rule.

Woah, how’s that for a mind fuck?

via GIPHY

I do agree with the sentiment behind the “never quit, never give up” mentality. I love me a good David Goggins or Andy Frisella rant as much as the next guy.

It gets me going!

I mean, it’s just the truth.

Gonna be pretty hard for you to win a race, if you stop running before the finish line. It’s going to be pretty hard for you to be the past person standing in the battle, if you give up and sit down.

If you don’t quit, eventually, you will find success. “Consistency is key,” is a law that supersedes fitness, finance, relationships, and all life success in general.

But what about when it doesn’t?

If there are exceptions to every rule, that means that there are times where quitting is necessary. Not only is it not simply something you should avoid, but in reality, when the time calls for it, quitting is the only logical choice, and to keep pushing forward with a plan of action that ISN’T working, actually can be detrimental. You end up spending time, energy, possibly money and other resources, on something that even if “successful,” doesn’t get you the desired result.

That’s no bueno.

via GIPHY

In reality, it’s not “never quit! Quitters never win!” but more “Most of the time, quitters never win, and winners seldom quit. Except when they do, which isn’t as often, but it definitely happens, and is certainly worth mentioning.”

The latter just doesn’t quite roll off the tongue as nicely.

So never quit, except when you should. Giving up is bad, except for the times when it’s the smartest thing you can do.

The question is, how can you tell the difference?

Here are three key questions to ask yourself to know if you should soldier on, or give it up and move on to your next pursuit:

1. Is It Impossible, or Improbable? 

Often, we confuse one for the other, but they certainly are not the same. Improbable can FEEL like impossible, but that doesn’t make it so. However, some things just are impossible, and no amount of wanting it not to be so, can make it that way.

via GIPHY

For example, if I want to play basketball at a high level (not professionally, just becoming a good player), that would be hard. It would mean me, at the age of 32, picking up a sport I’ve never played, learning skills, building athleticism. Those are challenges, but if I am dedicated enough, and I put in the time, energy, and effort necessary, I invest, I get the coaching, I could see it happening.

It would probably take years, but it exists in the realm of possibility. 

If however, I wanted to become a 6’7” jacked brick-house black man, and rename myself LeBron Levitin, I might be in for some disappointment. Even if I have been training for years already, fighting for an impossible goal doesn’t make it any more likely.

This is known as a “sunk cost”. (listen to me talk about sunk costs here)

2. Is It a Bad Goal, or Is It Just Hard?

Sometimes when you set out for a goal, you don’t realize just how hard it’s going to be. Often you can’t, it takes diving in with both feet to really get the full magnitude of the experience. What comes next is usually a feeling of regret.

“Oh shit, what did I sign myself up for?”

“This is dumb, I can’t do this!”.

These feelings are natural, and the harder the endeavor, the faster they’ll come on, and the more intense they will be.

You don’t want to do hard things. No one does. Even if consciously you do, at a subconscious level, all living things have bred into one key desire: survival. At a purely biological level, anything that is hard for us to do, that makes us struggle, or really in any way uncomfortable, sets off alarms in our brain and body.

These alarms say “STOP THAT! Get to safety, quick.”

Stop sign

When you feel the desire to quit then, you have to be able to discern: am I wanting to quit because this goal is actually not ideal for me, or is it just hard?

The latter is your biological defenses coming in, and need to be disregarded in most circumstances.

  • Some goals though, just don’t work out.
  • Some projects that you start aren’t worth finishing.

That’s ok, as long as you are sure that you’re stopping because it’s actually going to benefit you in the long run, not because it’s hard or scary or uncomfortable.

3. Have I Given It Enough Time?

Time heals all wounds. Time is our most precious resource. I have father time tattooed on my forearm, because time is an infinitely interesting concept to me. We don’t want to waste time on things that aren’t beneficial, however it also takes time for things to play out, and for the trees of our labor to produce fruit.

If you’re thinking about quitting something, you need to be honest with yourself and ask: is this really not working, or have I simply not given it enough time.

via GIPHY

If you’ve been doing a workout program for three weeks and not seeing your ripped abs yet, then chances are you just haven’t given it it’s fair shot, and you need to stick it out a little longer (shiny object syndrome anyone?).

If however you’ve been working on the same program for eight months with no results, and are thinking “maybe month nine is when the gains kick in!,” then it might be time for you to reevaluate.

Unfortunately, there is not one rule for how much time to give.

It matters what the goal is, and in what area of life.

If it’s a fitness goal, a few months is usually enough time to judge. But if it’s business, or a relationship, sometimes it can be years or more.

Refer to questions one and two and decide if it’s something worth sticking it out for. If it’s an impossible goal, or a goal that isn’t worth reaching even if you get there, then move on. If it’s just really freaking hard, like frustratingly hard, but you still think the goal is worth working for, then stick it out.

This is a good time to recenter yourself with your why (Find your “why” here).

Final Thoughts

My point today is simple: you are not broken for wanting to give up or quit.

It’s human nature, and 100% of the time, it’s going to happen.

You can persevere, you can do hard things.

Sometimes though, the answer is to move on, and explore other opportunities. You don’t have to feel bad about it, and you definitely don’t have to just stick to things because “quitting is for losers!” Be honest with yourself, and be open to exploring the deeper questions of why you’re wanting to quit and move on, and I’m quite sure you’ll know what the right answer truly is. 

About the Author

Paul Levitin spent a decade as a personal trainer & strength and conditioning coach, becoming the number one trainer in his entire company, while collecting over 30 certificates (CES, CSCS, PRI, PN1, FRC, & many more).

Wanting to better serve his training clients, he began to study behavior change, and eventually became a Board Licensed Health & Wellness Coach (NBHWC). This led him to create his education and mindset coaching company “The Healthy Happy Human Academy,” where he now helps clients deal with things like self-sabotage and perfectionism, to allow them to build a healthy, happy life.

He seeks to bridge the gap between the worlds of fitness and nutrition, and the frustrated, overwhelmed masses who just want to move more, feel better, and live a little longer.

https://www.instagram.com/paullevitin/
The Healthy Happy Human Podcast
The Healthy Happy Human Academy FREE Facebook Group

 

Categoriespersonal training

Everything Is the Same

Today’s post marks the return of Paul Levitin who some may recall wrote an excellent piece here a few weeks ago on self-sabotage.

Being a successful fitness professional, much like every profession, takes practice, patience, a bit of luck, and an unyielding desire to not be average. If you’re a new trainer I urge you to read Paul’s “lesson(s)” below. And even if you’re a veteran coach I think it’ll be useful to be reminded that you’re not that special and the basics still work.

Enjoy!

Copyright: nomadsoul1

Everything Is the Same

When I started my career as a personal trainer, it was at a “big box” chain gym. I was hired, even though I had never actually trained someone before. I just enjoyed working out, and passed a test that said I could now train other people. I was in way over my head.

My manager at the time was a guy named Chris. He walked me around the gym floor, started showing me where things go. I still remember the conversation from that day.

“So, when you’re here, your job is to talk to people. Help them with the weights, spot them, drum up conversation. Then, if they seem interested, offer them personal training. A lot won’t be interested, but some will. The more people you talk to, the better chances you have. It’s a numbers game.”

Casino roulette, ball stopped on black 8 number closeup. Gambling and betting. 3d illustration

Just like John Cutter said, “always bet on black.”

We continued our walk.

“In the beginning, it’s going to be slow. It takes time to get going, because you don’t have any experience right now. Once you get a few clients under your belt, and get more comfortable, things will start to get rolling. It might take a few months, so you’ve got to hang tight in the beginning.”

I nodded. Not like I had anything else better to do. 

“A lot of people look at training and think ‘oh, that’s a cool job! I like working out, so I can get paid to do that!’. But that isn’t really how it is. It’s a hard job, and you get out what you put in. It is time-consuming, and draining at times. It is not nearly as glamorous as you might think.”

Kind of weird to be telling me on my first day, but I just continued to listen.

“Any questions so far?”

So I meekly chimed in, “Yeah well, you know, I don’t really, like, know how to train people? What do I do if I actually get a client?”

“Ha. Don’t worry about that. I’ll tell you a little secret: no one knows when they first start. You learn by doing. Sure, you read the textbook, but the REAL education starts now. Don’t stress about it. It comes with time, and practice. I started just where you are, everyone does.”

That helped a bit, but I persisted.

“Yeah but, won’t people know I’m just faking it? Who is going to pay me to train them when I’ve never done it before?”

Chris looked me dead in the eyes:

“Listen, you might think you don’t know anything, but that simply isn’t true. We hired you right? You went through the interview, you were tested. You wouldn’t be here if you knew NOTHING. Is there room to grow? Sure. But you know far more than you give yourself credit for, and you DEFINITELY know more than anyone coming in here off the street looking for training. You just need to know enough to answer their questions, and enough to ask for help when you don’t have the answers.”

via GIPHY

A week later, I had my first “orientation.” (my gym’s name for the free training session given to new members, with the real goal being a sales pitch for more expensive personal training at the end).

I got through the training session, I made the guy sweat. Burpees, planks, all the usual suspects (please, it was 2014, it was a different time). Then, I got to the sales portion, and I completely froze. I ended up bumbling my way through the pitch, and the guy gave me a weird look, said “no thanks,” and walked out.

Chris was there watching from afar, and he asked “So, how’d that go?”

“Not good,” I said “I sucked.”

“That’s ok. No one knocks it out of the park on their first swing. You can’t. It’s just like working out, you’ve gotta put in the reps. The more practice, the smoother it will become. You will work out the kinks, but it comes with time, patience, and persistence.”

That helped me feel less crappy, but I still wasn’t pleased.

“I don’t get it,” I bemoaned to Chris “I did everything right! I killed him. Burpies, battle ropes, he was panting by the 15 minute mark! I know his legs are going to be so sore tomorrow, he even said this was the best workout he’d ever done.”

Here’s the thing,” Chris said to me, “First of all, what makes you think he wanted to be crushed? Did he tell you that, or did you assume it?”

Well, I just thought…”

“That’s right. You assumed that because that’s how you want to work out, that that’s how he would want to work out. But he isn’t you. Next time, take the time to ask, rather than just jump right in with assumptions. you’ll see as you do this, that less is more. People are out of shape, overstressed, overtired, and overwhelmed. It doesn’t take a lot to push them over the edge. What they need from you, is help and guidance, not to be crushed by the world’s hardest workout. Any bozo can do that, it takes tact and skill to actually give people what they need, not simply what you, or they, think they want.”

I got that.

via GIPHY

And in general,” he continued, “It’s better to start slow and build. It’s easy for you to add more to their routine over time. However, you can only do that, if they stick around. If you overwhelm them so much that they don’t keep coming back, you end up helping them less, rather than more. Trying to do too much, too soon, ends up backfiring.”

This all made a lot of sense to me, and I continually worked to implement Chris’s advice and techniques. 

Eventually, I found my groove.

I sold a few training packages, which gave me confidence to sell more. I started training clients, and learned that I could help people with the knowledge I had, which helped me feel less like a “fraud” (Imposter syndrome anyone?). I went on to become the top trainer (and salesperson) in my gym, and soon the entire company.

via GIPHY

I remember those lessons from Chris in my early days, and think about them often. Not because I need help being a better personal trainer anymore, but because I am always trying to be better at something.

Somewhere in my life, I am always trying to improve, as I hope you are too (and I suspect that is the case, since you are reading this right now).

Which brings me to my main point: everything is the same.

There were many lessons that Chris taught me. Lessons that took me from newbie personal trainer, in over my head and feeling flustered and overwhelmed, to the top of my company. Eventually, I was promoted and given Chris’s job, and put in charge of training new personal trainers on how to have more confidence, train their clients, make more sales, and overall be successful.

Each of these lessons, although given to me in the frame of personal training, could have just as easily been about working for a Fortune 500 company, building a business from scratch as an entrepreneur, or a romantic relationship. In reality, all of this advice was really just about life. 

Take out “personal trainer,” and replace it with “salesman,” “entrepreneur,” “athlete,” “dieter,” “spouse,” or other. It doesn’t matter.

These lessons are about life, they transcend career paths and specific goals.

What did my manager really teach me?

  • It’s a numbers game. You get better with practice. 
  • Things aren’t always as glamorous as they seem from the outside. It takes hard work, and you get out what you put in.
  • Give it time. It is hard in the beginning, but if you can stick with it, you’ll see success
  • You have more to learn, but that shouldn’t stop you from taking action right now
  • Ask for help when you need it, and don’t be ashamed if you don’t know an answer
  • Don’t assume that everyone is like you. Humans are unique, and what works for one person, even you, doesn’t work for everyone
  • It’s better to start slow and build up, than to try to do all-out right out of the gate

Name a place in life, a challenge you face, a goal you might want to work towards, where these are NOT true. Go ahead, try to find one, I’ll wait. This is advice I could give to anyone, about anything, and it would always hold up. Why?

Everything is the same.

What we need for success is not unique to one realm. Success is success. It is built from the same materials, no matter the location. If you can internalize these simple lessons, you will be able to build success wherever you choose.

About the Author

Paul Levitin spent a decade as a personal trainer & strength and conditioning coach, becoming the number one trainer in his entire company, while collecting over 30 certificates (CES, CSCS, PRI, PN1, FRC, & many more).

Wanting to better serve his training clients, he began to study behavior change, and eventually became a Board Licensed Health & Wellness Coach (NBHWC). This led him to create his education and mindset coaching company “The Healthy Happy Human Academy,” where he now helps clients deal with things like self-sabotage and perfectionism, to allow them to build a healthy, happy life.

He seeks to bridge the gap between the worlds of fitness and nutrition, and the frustrated, overwhelmed masses who just want to move more, feel better, and live a little longer.

https://www.instagram.com/paullevitin/
The Healthy Happy Human Podcast
The Healthy Happy Human Academy FREE Facebook Group

Concept image of a business woman separate one wooden people from a groupCategoriesMotivational psychology

Why You Self Sabotage, and How to Stop It

Today’s guest post come courtesy of personal trainer, strength & conditioning coach, wellness coach, and owner of more certifications than anyone on Earth, Paul Levitin.

I’ve crossed paths with Paul several times throughout the years. He’s attended a workshop or two of mine and most recently we connected again at the Raise the Bar Conference down in Orlando, FL a few weekends ago.

We got to talking on a bevy of topics while down there and he expressed some interest in writing a guest post for my site on self-sabotage.

Not a light topic by any stretch, but I think you’ll enjoy his writing style. I know I learned a few things!

Enjoy.

Concept image of a business woman separate one wooden people from a group

Why You Self Sabotage, and How to Stop It

“…Hey you.

You, yeah I’m talking to you…

Why do you keep doing that?

That thing you do… where you say you’re gonna do something, but don’t? Where you talk yourself out of things, give up before you get a result, or commit to obligations you know you can’t fulfill? You keep getting in your own way! STOP IT!…”

That’s me, talking to myself in the mirror, after yet another in a long line of instances of not following through on my commitments, doing what I said I would to, or achieving my goals.

It doesn’t matter if we are talking about a diet, sticking to a workout program, building an online business, or literally anything else. 

Working out

When it comes to achieving goals, or rather NOT achieving them, it really boils down to one simple thing:

We get in our own way.

I say “we,” because this is an inherently human trait.

Since you are reading this, I can assume that you’re either a human, or an incredibly smart dog, monkey, or octopus, in which case, idk, maybe self-sabotage is a thing for you too. If my hunch is correct though, and you ARE a human, then the fact of the matter is, you have a tendency to self-sabotage (see, I’m doing it right now, talking about octopus in an article about self-sabotage!).

via GIPHY

We can make all of the excuses in the world, from lack of time, to not knowing where to start, to a million things in between.

If we are honest though, those are all the same. Different versions of self-sabotage.

  • Who controls your time?
  • Who controls what media you consume?
  • Who controls everything about you? 

(That’s not a trick question)

It’s YOU.

Therefore, if you aren’t getting your shit handled, it’s your fault.

YES, there can be external factors. YES some people have kids and jobs and families and pandemics and global economic crises. BLAH BLAH, I get it.

Those things are real, but they still don’t negate the one truth, the truthiest truth, that the only things you have control over in this life are yourself, your actions, and how you spend your time (to an extent). 

It may seem abrasive when put so bluntly, but trust me, I am not being judgmental. That’s why I started all of this by telling you a little of my own personal internal dialogue. A wise person once said, “the best research is actually me-search,” and let’s just say I’ve done a shit load of ME-search on the topic of self-sabotage.

I am the one who most holds ME back, and chances are, you are the one holding yourself back.

People don’t like to hear it. However, when we do hear it, we inherently usually (if begrudgingly) tend to admit this to be true, because well, it’s true. You can’t really argue against it (RIP my inbox, I know the keyboard warriors are coming for me).

Spartan warrior in the woods

There’s a keyboard somewhere in the background. Look closely. See it?1

I’ve spent this much time hammering this point because it is imperative that we get past this right out of the gate if we are to move forward. 

Now that we are on the same page, let me lay out three key mindset shifts that you MUST adopt if you want to have a chance in the battle of self-sabotage.

The First Key Is Acceptance

Acceptance lies at the root of all positive change. Acceptance of what is.

If I want to lose weight, I have to first accept that I am at a weight that I am unhappy, or otherwise uncomfortable at. I must accept that my decisions around food and activity up until this point have gotten me here.

If I want to build a successful fitness blog, I have to accept certain realities as well. I have to accept that I need to practice writing. I have to accept that an established blog like the one you’re reading this on, has a huge readership and trust that I don’t have yet, and that my clicks will pale in comparison.

I need to accept what IS, and what IS NOT.

What is a FACT.

Because, on the flip side of acceptance, is blame. Blaming others, blaming algorithms, blaming genetics. 

John Maxwell has a great quote on leadership that goes “we don’t solve problems that we didn’t create.” If you can pass the blame, pass the buck, you will also find reasons not to find the solution. 

So if you want to stop self-sabotage, and get out of your own way, it starts with accepting the realities of your current situation.

The Second Key Is to Set Better Goals

A big reason I’ve found myself, and my clients self-sabotaging in the past, is because we tend to work towards goals that don’t really matter.

When I say “don’t matter,” what I mean is, they don’t have a deep internalized meaning.

Sure you want to lose weight. Who doesn’t? If I had a magic wand and said I’d wave off a couple kilos of fat for you, pretty much everyone on the planet would take that deal. 

via GIPHY

But when you set a goal to lose weight, are you thinking about what it really means?

  • Why do you want to lose weight?
  • Is it truly for you?
  • Why 20lb, not 10, or 23?

Is it because you want it, or is it because society told you that you’re supposed to look a certain way?

When you have chest and arm day scheduled, but would rather sit and eat a bag of Cheetos, is that you being lazy, or do you have no real connection to the goal of having bigger pecs?

Who said that was the ideal physique?

(NOTE from TG: My wife would call this “should’ing on yourself.” I should look “x” way, I should follow this training split, I should watch Yellowjackets on Showtime. Stop should’ing on yourself.)

We understand that fitness is important, and movement and exercise are a conduit to that. But does that mean you have to bench press?

Maybe you’d be better served doing pilates twice a week, and dancing to Zumba with your kids during playtime?

Trying to force-feed yourself goals, because they are accepted as the “standard” seems smart on the surface. However, deep down, your subconscious mind is all “uh, fuck that noise. I don’t even want any of that result, so why would I put myself through the stress of doing the work?”

When there is no connection, you’ll find it very hard to stay motivated.

If instead you have goals that aren’t just arbitrary, and are actually built around you, and make you feel GOOD, and make you EXCITED to go out and do the work it will take to achieve them, then you’re setting yourself up for success.

Lastly…

The Third Key to Stop Self-Sabotage Dead in its Tracks, Is to Embrace Failure

The biggest, most pervasive form of self-sabotage, is undoubtedly perfectionism.

We want things to go well, we want everything to work out perfectly. We expect them to, and when they don’t, the little thought gremlins come in saying “well, no point now!” or “see, I knew we couldn’t do this!”

via GIPHY

This is the dieter who lets one meal off plan turn into a day, which turns into a weekend, into a “i’ll start next month.”

It’s the lifter who has five workouts scheduled, and when a life event causes him or her to miss three, decides the other two aren’t worth doing.

Logically, it’s easy to see why this fallacy holds us back. However once again, this stuff is human nature. This isn’t me or you, it’s just how our brains work.

To combat this, we must lean into failure. You have to understand that not only is failure probable, it is GUARANTEED. There is no world, no universe or time lines in all of Dr Strange’s multi-verse, where you are not going to fail.

It is as certain as the sun rising each morning, or as me clicking “I’m still watching” on netflix. There is no other way around it.

You cannot be perfect. You cannot be perfect.

YOU.

CANNOT.

BE.

PERFECT.

Once you accept that (hey, that’s key one, that’s a callback!), then you don’t have to be so afraid of failing anymore. You’ll be able to push yourself more, to try things that normally you might not (key 2), and most importantly, when you do fail, which you will, you won’t let it get you down, because you’ll remember that it’s all part of the process (key 3).

Get out of your own way, and there will be nothing else in the world that can stop you!

About the Author

Paul Levitin spent a decade as a personal trainer & strength and conditioning coach, becoming the number one trainer in his entire company, while collecting over 30 certificates (CES, CSCS, PRI, PN1, FRC, & many more).

Wanting to better serve his training clients, he began to study behavior change, and eventually became a Board Licensed Health & Wellness Coach (NBHWC). This led him to create his education and mindset coaching company “The Healthy Happy Human Academy,” where he now helps clients deal with things like self-sabotage and perfectionism, to allow them to build a healthy, happy life.

He seeks to bridge the gap between the worlds of fitness and nutrition, and the frustrated, overwhelmed masses who just want to move more, feel better, and live a little longer.

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