motivation – Tony Gentilcore

6 Ways to Instill Success In Your Clients’ Training Programs

The answer is easy: Tell them to add more weight to the barbell.

LOLOLOLOL.

I’m kidding (sort of).

Facetiousness aside[footnote]For real though, put more weight on the bar.[/footnote], I wanted to spend some time discussing a few strategies you can (hopefully) implement today that will make the training programs you write for your athletes and clients more successful.

6 Ways to Instill Success In Your Clients’ Training Programs

“Successful” in this context means 1) your clients continue to show up (bills need to be paid, yo!), 2) your clients don’t hate you (most of the time) and 3) as a corollary to your Jedi-like coaching skills, you turn all your clients into deadlifting Terminators.

I.e., they get results.

We often bog ourselves down harping over details like optimal exercise selection, exercise order, set/rep schemes, rest intervals, or even which type of muscle fibers are firing during which exercise.

Of course, this is not to insinuate all of the above aren’t important, they are. Except maybe the last one. If you’re going into that much detail with your coaching on something that won’t matter of 99.2% of the population, it’s safe to say you might be over-thinking things.

However, as fellow fitness pro Jonathan Pietrunti noted on my Facebook wall recently:

“If we don’t focus on bolstering the client’s intrinsic motivation and fostering self-efficacy, they aren’t going to show up for long, regardless of how awesome are programming is on the movement/physiological side of the house.”

You can design something worthy of a Program Design Pulitzer, but if your client would rather wash his or her’s face with broken glass than perform another front squat or set of bench pressing with tempo contrast, you’re failing.

You’re failing, hard.

1. Understand People Are Different (and That They’re Not You)

Powerlifters like to train people like powerlifters.
Bodybuilders like to train people like bodybuilders.
Kettlebell aficionados like to train people with kettlebells.
CrossFitters like to do #whateverthefuck.

Any well-thought out training program should fit the needs and goals of the client.

That goes without saying.

A mistake I find many fitness professionals make is that they write programs catered to what they like or how they prefer to train.

I don’t feel this is wrong per se; it’s only natural to default to your strengths and/or personal beliefs and methodologies. Where it becomes a problem is when we gravitate towards a specific modality at the expense of, well, everything.

I remember having a conversation with one of my young athletes recently who’s a rather big dude for his age. He mentioned in passing (and I am paraphrasing here) that his football coach wanted everyone to squat the same way:

Same foot width.
Same stance.
Same bar position.
Like a bunch of robots

He then demonstrated the exact stance his coach told him to use and maybe hit 70 degrees of hip flexion.

Let’s just say that if what he showed me was seen at an FMS workshop, people would become visibly sick to their stomachs.

I simply asked him him to widen his stance significantly and to externally rotate his feet a bit so his toes pointed outward.

He was able to hit a beautiful depth. Thus saving himself from the wrath of internet warriors everywhere.

(NOTE: I am not a depth Nazi. To me squat depth is arbitrary and all I am really concerned with is someone finding whatever depth they’re able to “own” & control. If it’s past 90 degrees, cool. If not, that’s cool too.[footnote]But I am still interested in WHY they’re only able to squat to a certain depth. Is it because of a previous injury? Poor technique? Maybe lack of motor control? A mobility restriction? It’s a Thursday? It’s my job as a coach to find out and see if I can improve it.[/footnote]Either way we’re going to train the hell out of it.

The point being: If he had followed his coach’s poor squatting advice, assuming everyone is supposed to squat the same way, he may have never realized his full potential.

Everyone is different, and it’s important to respect unique leverages and anthropometry as it relates to not only squatting, but any lift.

Programming based around your client’s goals is paramount. But it’s also important to tweak any lift to fit the needs (and abilities) 0f the trainee, not vice versa.

2. Ensure Success in Every Session

This seems a bit redundant, I know.

“You write a post on how to instill success in a training program and you’re telling me in order to do so I need to….ensure success? Wow, Tony, that’s revolutionary. What’s next: telling me that in order to improve my vertical jump I should jump higher?”

The best analogy I can offer is the whole concept behind “girl push-ups.”

No, I’m not referring to a woman performing push-ups, which would make sense. Instead, I’m referring to the lame premise of women performing push-ups from their knees. I.e., “girl push-ups.”

I hate the connotation and message this sends.

Oh, you can’t do an actual push-up? That’s okay, lets pander to societal norms on engenderment, plant the idea in your head at an early age that women must train differently from men (flexed arm hang test vs. chin-up test), and do “girl push-ups” rather than take the time to coach and progress you accordingly.

If I’m working with a female client and she can’t perform a push-up (from the floor) – usually due to a core weakness or lack of lumbo-pelvic-hip control – I find it more productive to OMIT the “you’re a girl so lets do this instead” mantra, and instead demonstrate to her that she can do the exercise.

Either by having her perform elevated push-ups in a ROM where’s she successful, or possibly having her perform a band-assisted push-up, like so:

In both scenarios I’m addressing the actual weak-link (a weak core, or the basic novelty of the exercise) and not just tossing my hands in the air and relinquishing programming control to the fact she has a vagina.

I’m coaching.

And not only that I’m going out of my way to ensure a sense of accomplishment/success in each session.

This, my friends, is the key.

That and…..

3. Building Autonomy

Autonomy is the love-child of good coaching (and giving a shit).

Despite what some fitness pros may think, people aren’t paying you to count reps, they’re paying you to COACH.

On numerous occasions I’ve had new clients be taken aback when they realize I’m not counting their repetitions.

I’m too busy watching and coaching to count their reps.

Furthermore, I’ll tell all new clients that my goal is for them to “fire” me at some point. Not because I did something creepy like forget to wear pants, or, I don’t know, play Coldplay during heavy deadlifts.

No, I want them to (eventually) no longer need my services.

I want to make them their own best asset and advocate.

I want them to go on vacation or walk into a random gym and be able to “MacGyver” a workout in any scenario…whether we’re talking a fully-equipped training mecca or a rinky dink hotel gym that has nothing but a treadmill, dumbbells up to 35 lbs, and a roll of duct tape.

Dan John often speaks to program design being stripped down to nothing more than the squat, hip hinge, push, pull, single-leg variation, and carry.

Teach your clients that.

Force them to marinate in learning each category and what exercises belong where. In doing so they’ll eventually be able to jimmy-rig a workout without batting an eye.

They’ll become autonomous.

And a funny thing will happen: they’ll end up staying with you anyway because they understand the value you bring being a coach that actually coaches.

4. Provide Choice

I wrote about the power of choice in THIS article.

As it relates to providing fitness and program design services this can be a double-edged sword because:

If people knew what they were doing they wouldn’t hire us to make choices for them.
It’s often in their best interests to be told what they need to do and not what they want to do.

Taking away choice behooves them.

On the flip side, it can behoove us, the fitness professional, to offer some choice.

This can mean giving them the choice to pick their main lift of the day – Squat? Deadlift? Maximal frisbee toss?

Or maybe giving them the choice to pick the mode of the exercise. Say, a KB deadlift or a trap bar deadlift?

In the same vein, I’ve compromised with clients and “rewarded” them with a 5-10 minute window of doing whatever the they want – judgement free.

For many of my guys it’s all about the gun show – bis and tris baby!
For my ladies they’ll often congregate at the Hip Thruster

Whatever the case may be, offering your clients some choice is a splendid way to keep them motivated and engaged in their training.

5. Celebrate the Small Victories (Regardless of How Small They Seem)

I like to call this the Todd Bumgardner rule; although he has a much better way of stating it:

“Demonstrate unconditional positive regard.”

When I travel and workout at various commercial gyms I can’t help but observe other trainers in action.

Some are amazing. They’re engaged, actively coaching, and paying attention to their client, offering feedback and encouragement whenever it’s needed.

Others are, well, pretty shitty.

There’s zero effort in providing feedback. And if there is, it’s generally nothing more than a casual “nice job” or “way to go.”

via GIPHY

Celebrate the small victories!

You don’t need to do back flips or Parkour of the power racks when a client keeps their chest up during a squat.

But would a little enthusiasm hurt?

6. Simplicity For the Win

Consider this final point the Mise en place of the entire article.

I had a client admit that she was “frustrated” by the simplicity of the program I wrote for her. I took no offense, because it happens often.

Fast forward a few weeks, “Tony, I feel stronger and my lifts are going up!”

Strength coach nods approvingly.

I’m not the first to state this, but people tend to fall into the trap of adding stuff into their programs for the novelty, almost always at the expense of failing to take something OUT.

You can’t just keep adding more and more to a program and expect to make progress. Get rid of the superfluous BS that serves no purpose.

Choose ten exercises. Any ten. I don’t care.*

A mix of multi-joint and isolation.

Attack them. Master them. Focus on getting stronger in those ten. Other exercises will come & go, but don’t deviate from those ten.

Watch. Good things will happen.

* Except kipping pull-ups.

— Tony Gentilcore (@tonygentilcore1) March 30, 2022

Moreover, fancy or elaborate looking exercises don’t equate to better. They great at receiving likes and vast applause on social media, but rarely do such exercises elicit actual results.[/footnote]And I guaran-fuckin-tee that the person who posted the video doesn’t perform or utilize the exercise themselves in their own training.[/footnote]

April 5, 2022 Tony

Motivational psychology

How to Motivate Your Clients

My wife walked out of her office the other day and stopped in her tracks. It looked like the opening shot of an episode of Forensic Files.

There I was lying sprawled out on the living room floor motionless.

“Are you okay? Are you sick or something?”

“No, I’m not sick” I said. “My workout was brutal today. I can’t move. I just need a few more minutes to allow my soul to reenter my body.”

“Oh, okay then. That’s nice babe. Don’t forget to put your gym bag back where it belongs.”

What can I say: What we have is true love.

All kidding aside, while it may not seem so obvious to begin with, this example of marital magic serves as a nice primer on motivation and how that interplays with one’s desire (and rationale) to exercise consistently.

How to Motivate Your Clients

What I described above is not an exaggeration.

I had just gone through a pretty brutal workout where I hit close to max numbers on all three of the “big 3” (squat, bench press, deadlift) despite having just deadlifted fairly heavy the day prior.

It’s a split I wasn’t accustomed to, and by the time I got home my body felt like it had been put through the ringer. I was basically reliving Rambo: First Blood, except without a cave full of rats, and an asshole local sheriff busting my balls.

Oh, and there was no torrential rainfall.

But here’s the thing.

I knew heading into that workout that I was going to feel like garbage afterward. But I did it anyway. Not because I wanted (or even strive) to feel like that, but rather because the alternative – not doing it – goes against my inner fabric.

Working out consistently is part of my identity, it’s part of what makes me me; much like listening to 90’s hip-hop, wearing groutfits, and ordering chicken at a seafood restaurant is also part of what makes me me.

This is a form of motivation that’s referred to as Integrated Regulation.

It describes many coaches/fitness professionals, as well as those people who would rather commit seppuku than miss a workout.

It’s admirable, but IT IS NOT THE END-ALL-BE-ALL GOAL OR FORM OF MOTIVATION.

Motivation comes in different varieties and iterations and it’s imperative (especially as a coach) to NOT hold our clients to the above standard.

Instead, it behooves us to lean into whatever (extrinsic) reason motivates our clients to exercise. For some it’s because they want to look hot, for others it’s because their doctor suggested they need to or risk more dire consequences, and of course, there’s tacos.

ALL are forms of motivation and should be encouraged and embraced.

Another thing to consider (and something my colleague, Derek Stanley, wrote about recently), is this idea that discipline is the underlying “x-factor” when it comes to motivation.

“I wasn’t motivated to train, but I did it anyway.”

This is actually a high-degree of motivation! As alluded to above this person does it anyway because it’s a part of their identity. They’re just trying to brag a bit and earn a few social media likes…;o)

As Derek notes:

“Ironically, we say this to try to motivate people. It’s well-meaning. But it’s still unhelpful. The underlying assertion is that it’s all about discipline, not motivation. If you skip your workouts, you’re lazy or undisciplined.

Just do it.”

The bigger picture to appreciate here is that even if you’re thinking about working out, you have all the motivation you need.

You have the juice.

As Derek further elaborates, “if you weren’t motivated, then it wouldn’t even be on your radar.”

You’d just keep living your Tuesday.

Fitness professionals need to stop being such hardos when it comes to this stuff. Motivation and facilitating change is a spectrum and these are skills that don’t come naturally to most. It rarely comes squarely down to will-power (or lack thereof) or “not wanting it enough.”

Your clients have motivation, you’re likely just looking for it through the wrong lense.

👇👇👇

How to Motivate & Facilitate Change

There’s only a few more days to take advantage of the sale price for Psych Skills for Fitness Pros.

(FYI: Sale ends Sunday, 3/13).

This course was developed by my wife (yep, the one referenced above) to help coaches/trainers/PTs better understand motivation and how to become a more well-rounded professional.

If you’re looking for something different than continuing Ed focused on sets and reps, stability and mobility, or other “nuts and bolts” aspects of training, this is the course for you!!

In this course, you will learn AND gain skills for:

1. Leveraging your clients motivation,

2. Progressing your clients to encourage positive behavior change,

3. Working through barriers to change, “loss” of motivation, and other psychological challenges that ALWAYS HAPPEN in coaching!!

Give it a look HERE.

March 10, 2022 Tony

psychology

Why the Soft Skills of Coaching Matter

Which is the more valuable skill to have as a coach or personal trainer:

The Nuts & Bolts (I.e., turning people into deadlifting Terminators)?
The Soft Skills (I.e., fostering “connection” with clients/athletes, as well as planting deeper seeds for improved motivation)?
Biceps (I.e., biceps)?

Okay, taking biceps out of the conversation (because that’s the right answer), I think both – nuts & bolts and soft skills – are equally important skills to have as a fitness professional. It’s silly to suggest one is better or more robust of a skill to possess over the other.

However, the soft skills is the part most fitness professionals gloss over.

And they shouldn’t.

Why the Soft Skills of Coaching Matter

The most obvious question out of the gate is:

“What are the nuts & bolts and what are the soft skills of coaching?”

Nuts & Bolts: Anything under the umbrella of assessment, program design, anatomy, technical understanding of exercise technique, or otherwise being able to execute a well-designed program effectively and without causing harm.

Soft Skills: The ability to communicate in a way that makes the athlete/client feel understood, supported, and excited.

This can include but is not limited to…exhibiting empathy, having time management skills, understanding the nuances and stages of motivation (intrinsic vs. extrinsic for example), being an attentive/active listener, as well as not being afraid to admit that Notting Hill is one of your favorite movies of all time.

Come at me, Bro!

Why am I even bothering bringing this up or going out of my way to make a distinction?

Well, the impetus stems from a Tweet I saw recently from another coach in the industry (who, admittedly, I don’t know well or have any relationship with):

I’m paraphrasing:

“All I see nowadays are people referring to the ‘soft skills’ of coaching.

Lame!

When did this become a thing? When did knowing how to write effective programming and then executing that programming not take precedence?

Just get your clients squatting.

#creatine.”

This is bull to the shit at best, and a woefully narrow-minded train of thought at worst.

Talk about lame.

If all it took to be a great and effective coach was knowing how to breakdown squat technique or being able to distinguish an acetabulum from an asshole (both of which, mind you, are important) we’d have a bunch of Brett Bartholemews, Nick Winklemans, Erica Sutters, Mark Fishers, and Molly Galbraiths walking around.

HINT: We don’t.

Effective coaching is a teeter-totter.

On one end you have the technical and more hands-on component(s), and on the other you have the you’re-not-working-with-robots-but-human-beings-component(s).

The idea isn’t to balance the two of course. A non-moving, stagnant, completely horizontal teeter-totter is never the goal, or that fun.

Conversely, we also don’t want a scenario where one end overwhelms or dominates the other. One end of the teeter-totter shouldn’t be cemented to the ground indefinitely.

That’s not fun either.

Think of it this way: Every individual will vary in terms of the amount of each “end” they need/require on a weekly basis (if not daily) in order to help them be successful.

Yes, writing coherent, well-thought out programs matching sets, reps, loads, and exercises to the needs, goals, and ability level of every client is important. As is being able to effectively coach those programs so people don’t hurt themselves.

But equally as important is understanding you’re not Leonidas leading 300 Spartan soldiers into battle.

via GIPHY

Clients are intimidated by the weight room, sleep deprived, have sick kids, are stressed out, maybe have marital issues at home, lack competence, or, I don’t know, have a boss they’d like to kill with a stapler.

All of the above can affect one’s motivation and willingness to workout.

Coaching isn’t just about telling someone to suck it up and deadlift.

Every individual will vary in terms of what end of the teeter-totter will need to be prioritized in order to keep the darn thing moving up AND down.

For some it will indeed be the more tactical, hands-on elements of coaching. For others it’ll come down to having a simple, human conversation with them.

And this fluctuates all…the…time.

A good, effective coach understands the teeter-totter should always be moving.

Psych Skills for Fitness Pros

Full Disclosure: This course was developed by my wife, Dr. Lisa Lewis so I’m a teeny-tiny bit biased. That said, she developed it in large part from my incessant insistence that the health/fitness industry NEEDED a resource like this. I’ve routinely leaned on her experience and expertise as a psychologist throughout my career in helping navigate my clients’ needs.

What stresses me out the most working with clients isn’t so much the x’s and o’s of program design or figuring out why their shoulder hurts.

Rather, for lack of a better way of putting it, it’s dealing with THEIR shit.

Psych Skills for Fitness Pros is the only resource specifically catered to personal trainers, strength & nutrition coaches, and manual therapists to help them develop better communication and motivational skills.

What’s more, it isn’t developed by someone who says they’re a “mindset coach” because (s)he read a book on motivational interviewing once. It’s developed by an ACTUAL doctor of psychology (who also happens to be diesel and likes tot lift heavy things).

The course can be completed in the comfort of your own home at your own pace, includes an abyss of information, case studies, and easily applicable concepts to make you a better coach, as well as includes interviews from some industry leaders like Mark Fisher, Molly Galbraith, Georgie Fear, Dean Somerset, Meghan Callaway, and myself on how we’ve used the same information to hone our coaching skills and to enhance our careers.

Plus you can earn CEUs via the NSCA and NASM.

Dr. Lewis only puts this course on sale sporadically and TODAY is the start of a new open enrollment window that will last one weeks 3/13).

BONUS: Anyone who purchases the course within the first 48 hours will receive access to a LIVE (group) consult with Dr. Lewis at a later date.

Hurry. The clock is ticking.

Check it out —-> HERE

March 7, 2022 Tony

Concept image of a business woman separate one wooden people from a group

Motivational psychology

Why You Self Sabotage, and How to Stop It

Today’s guest post come courtesy of personal trainer, strength & conditioning coach, wellness coach, and owner of more certifications than anyone on Earth, Paul Levitin.

I’ve crossed paths with Paul several times throughout the years. He’s attended a workshop or two of mine and most recently we connected again at the Raise the Bar Conference down in Orlando, FL a few weekends ago.

We got to talking on a bevy of topics while down there and he expressed some interest in writing a guest post for my site on self-sabotage.

Not a light topic by any stretch, but I think you’ll enjoy his writing style. I know I learned a few things!

Enjoy.

Why You Self Sabotage, and How to Stop It

“…Hey you.

You, yeah I’m talking to you…

Why do you keep doing that?

That thing you do… where you say you’re gonna do something, but don’t? Where you talk yourself out of things, give up before you get a result, or commit to obligations you know you can’t fulfill? You keep getting in your own way! STOP IT!…”

That’s me, talking to myself in the mirror, after yet another in a long line of instances of not following through on my commitments, doing what I said I would to, or achieving my goals.

It doesn’t matter if we are talking about a diet, sticking to a workout program, building an online business, or literally anything else.

When it comes to achieving goals, or rather NOT achieving them, it really boils down to one simple thing:

We get in our own way.

I say “we,” because this is an inherently human trait.

Since you are reading this, I can assume that you’re either a human, or an incredibly smart dog, monkey, or octopus, in which case, idk, maybe self-sabotage is a thing for you too. If my hunch is correct though, and you ARE a human, then the fact of the matter is, you have a tendency to self-sabotage (see, I’m doing it right now, talking about octopus in an article about self-sabotage!).

via GIPHY

We can make all of the excuses in the world, from lack of time, to not knowing where to start, to a million things in between.

If we are honest though, those are all the same. Different versions of self-sabotage.

Who controls your time?
Who controls what media you consume?
Who controls everything about you?

(That’s not a trick question)

It’s YOU.

Therefore, if you aren’t getting your shit handled, it’s your fault.

YES, there can be external factors. YES some people have kids and jobs and families and pandemics and global economic crises. BLAH BLAH, I get it.

Those things are real, but they still don’t negate the one truth, the truthiest truth, that the only things you have control over in this life are yourself, your actions, and how you spend your time (to an extent).

It may seem abrasive when put so bluntly, but trust me, I am not being judgmental. That’s why I started all of this by telling you a little of my own personal internal dialogue. A wise person once said, “the best research is actually me-search,” and let’s just say I’ve done a shit load of ME-search on the topic of self-sabotage.

I am the one who most holds ME back, and chances are, you are the one holding yourself back.

People don’t like to hear it. However, when we do hear it, we inherently usually (if begrudgingly) tend to admit this to be true, because well, it’s true. You can’t really argue against it (RIP my inbox, I know the keyboard warriors are coming for me).

There’s a keyboard somewhere in the background. Look closely. See it?[footnote]Hahahaha, made you look.[/footnote]

I’ve spent this much time hammering this point because it is imperative that we get past this right out of the gate if we are to move forward.

Now that we are on the same page, let me lay out three key mindset shifts that you MUST adopt if you want to have a chance in the battle of self-sabotage.

The First Key Is Acceptance

Acceptance lies at the root of all positive change. Acceptance of what is.

If I want to lose weight, I have to first accept that I am at a weight that I am unhappy, or otherwise uncomfortable at. I must accept that my decisions around food and activity up until this point have gotten me here.

If I want to build a successful fitness blog, I have to accept certain realities as well. I have to accept that I need to practice writing. I have to accept that an established blog like the one you’re reading this on, has a huge readership and trust that I don’t have yet, and that my clicks will pale in comparison.

I need to accept what IS, and what IS NOT.

What is a FACT.

Because, on the flip side of acceptance, is blame. Blaming others, blaming algorithms, blaming genetics.

John Maxwell has a great quote on leadership that goes “we don’t solve problems that we didn’t create.” If you can pass the blame, pass the buck, you will also find reasons not to find the solution.

So if you want to stop self-sabotage, and get out of your own way, it starts with accepting the realities of your current situation.

The Second Key Is to Set Better Goals

A big reason I’ve found myself, and my clients self-sabotaging in the past, is because we tend to work towards goals that don’t really matter.

When I say “don’t matter,” what I mean is, they don’t have a deep internalized meaning.

Sure you want to lose weight. Who doesn’t? If I had a magic wand and said I’d wave off a couple kilos of fat for you, pretty much everyone on the planet would take that deal.

via GIPHY

But when you set a goal to lose weight, are you thinking about what it really means?

Why do you want to lose weight?
Is it truly for you?
Why 20lb, not 10, or 23?

Is it because you want it, or is it because society told you that you’re supposed to look a certain way?

When you have chest and arm day scheduled, but would rather sit and eat a bag of Cheetos, is that you being lazy, or do you have no real connection to the goal of having bigger pecs?

Who said that was the ideal physique?

(NOTE from TG: My wife would call this “should’ing on yourself.” I should look “x” way, I should follow this training split, I should watch Yellowjackets on Showtime. Stop should’ing on yourself.)

We understand that fitness is important, and movement and exercise are a conduit to that. But does that mean you have to bench press?

Maybe you’d be better served doing pilates twice a week, and dancing to Zumba with your kids during playtime?

Trying to force-feed yourself goals, because they are accepted as the “standard” seems smart on the surface. However, deep down, your subconscious mind is all “uh, fuck that noise. I don’t even want any of that result, so why would I put myself through the stress of doing the work?”

When there is no connection, you’ll find it very hard to stay motivated.

If instead you have goals that aren’t just arbitrary, and are actually built around you, and make you feel GOOD, and make you EXCITED to go out and do the work it will take to achieve them, then you’re setting yourself up for success.

Lastly…

The Third Key to Stop Self-Sabotage Dead in its Tracks, Is to Embrace Failure

The biggest, most pervasive form of self-sabotage, is undoubtedly perfectionism.

We want things to go well, we want everything to work out perfectly. We expect them to, and when they don’t, the little thought gremlins come in saying “well, no point now!” or “see, I knew we couldn’t do this!”

via GIPHY

This is the dieter who lets one meal off plan turn into a day, which turns into a weekend, into a “i’ll start next month.”

It’s the lifter who has five workouts scheduled, and when a life event causes him or her to miss three, decides the other two aren’t worth doing.

Logically, it’s easy to see why this fallacy holds us back. However once again, this stuff is human nature. This isn’t me or you, it’s just how our brains work.

To combat this, we must lean into failure. You have to understand that not only is failure probable, it is GUARANTEED. There is no world, no universe or time lines in all of Dr Strange’s multi-verse, where you are not going to fail.

It is as certain as the sun rising each morning, or as me clicking “I’m still watching” on netflix. There is no other way around it.

You cannot be perfect. You cannot be perfect.

YOU.

CANNOT.

BE.

PERFECT.

Once you accept that (hey, that’s key one, that’s a callback!), then you don’t have to be so afraid of failing anymore. You’ll be able to push yourself more, to try things that normally you might not (key 2), and most importantly, when you do fail, which you will, you won’t let it get you down, because you’ll remember that it’s all part of the process (key 3).

Get out of your own way, and there will be nothing else in the world that can stop you!

About the Author

Paul Levitin spent a decade as a personal trainer & strength and conditioning coach, becoming the number one trainer in his entire company, while collecting over 30 certificates (CES, CSCS, PRI, PN1, FRC, & many more).

Wanting to better serve his training clients, he began to study behavior change, and eventually became a Board Licensed Health & Wellness Coach (NBHWC). This led him to create his education and mindset coaching company “The Healthy Happy Human Academy,” where he now helps clients deal with things like self-sabotage and perfectionism, to allow them to build a healthy, happy life.

He seeks to bridge the gap between the worlds of fitness and nutrition, and the frustrated, overwhelmed masses who just want to move more, feel better, and live a little longer.

https://www.instagram.com/paullevitin/
The Healthy Happy Human Podcast
The Healthy Happy Human Academy FREE Facebook Group

February 16, 2022 Tony

personal training Program Design psychology

Reframing the Way You Make Your New Year’s Fitness Resolutions

I can sense the eye rolls already.

“Really, Tony? A post on New Year’s resolutions? How profound and unimaginably unique!”

Touche.

I can appreciate that there’s no shortage of similar posts you’ve undoubtedly come across in recent days. You’re likely thiiiiiiis close to introducing your forehead to the keyboard in front of you. What could I possibly have to say that’s any different or inspirational or less vomit-in-your-mouth(ish) that hasn’t been regurgitated ad nauseam already?

Read on…

I Promise This Will Be Different

To follow the lead of my coach (I.e., I’m just going to cut and paste), Sarah Moorman, who had some sage words to share herself on the topic:

Almost 40% of the population makes New Year’s Resolutions. From that number, a vast majority of resolutions are within the gravitational pull of health/fitness:

Eating habits
Exercise habits
Building a pair of pecs that can cut diamonds
You know, stuff like that

However, much like Sarah, I’m more of a fan of, actually…I’ll just let her say it:

“I’m largely in the camp of setting goals about consistency to help set new habits. For example, instead of a weight loss goal of a specific number of pounds, I advise you to hit your calorie or macro goals 6 days a week.”

“Why?

If someone is more consistent with hitting their calorie goals, their focus is on their eating habits as opposed to the weight on the scale.”

To parallel this viewpoint, the other day T-Nation.com memed me, which is always an honor.

I’ve long championed the 3×52 mentality.

Do something (anything) 3x per week, 52 weeks out of the year (preferably with an emphasis on lifting heavy things[footnote]Or fighting ninjas[/footnote]), and something stellar is bound to happen.

Why THREE days and not:

Well, because for most people 3x per week is a number they can wrap their head around; it’s not intimidating.

It’s doable.

It emphasizes REALISTIC consistency.

Like I said, T-Nation made the meme and then posted it up on their IG account the very same day. I had to chuckle at a number of the initial comments:

“6×52 is better.”
“No days off!”

So on and so forth.

I have a hunch that if I made a Venn diagram and the circles consisted of:

1️⃣ I have zero kids.
2️⃣ I have no family responsibilities.
3️⃣ I am not a coach and/or I read a book on fitness, once.
4️⃣ I like to brag about my 225 max deadlift and/or my entire identity is tethered to how many followers I have on IG.

That that would pretty much represent the type of person who would end up right smack dab in the middle of the diagram and who would make such asinine remarks.

Listen, you’re not a Spartan warrior or a Navy SEAL.

Relax.

Being hardcore (or pretending to be online) doesn’t get results long term. It’ll work, for a bit. Maybe. And then you realize you’re NOT Rambo or Valentina Shevchenko.

Photo Credit: Wikipedia Commons

Being a bit more realistic with the degree of consistency needed and more importantly, expectations one places on one’s self, is key.

It’s human nature to dive right in and to go from zero to 60 without really thinking things through:

Says here this detox tea is legit. After 47 days my body will be cleansed of all these pesky “toxins” and I’ll be able to see sounds! Fuck my liver and pancreas. They don’t know what they’re doing anyway.
I haven’t exercised since before the pandemic, so I may as well start with some German Volume Training.

We all think we’re more advanced then we are and that we can skip all the seemingly unnecessary & annoyingly rudimentary steps to go from Point A (where we currently are) to Point B (where we want to be) in the fastest way possible.

Can people attain their health/fitness goals in such a haphazard way?

Sure.

But it rarely sticks, because they fail to hone in on the necessary habits to make things click long-term.

So, with 2022 upon us I encourage you to consider reframing the way you go about making your resolutions. Instead of saying “I want to deadlift a bulldozer” say something like “I want to follow a strength training program 3x per week for the next 52 weeks.”

The latter will undoubtedly be more palatable and realistic.

January 5, 2022 Tony

coaching Female Training

My Wish For Female Fitness: Less Talk About Less

NOTE: This is a blog I originally wrote back in 2017, but I’m repurposing it today because:

It’s really fucking good.

AND

2. It matches well with the release of Psych Skills for Fitness Pros, my wife’s (Dr. Lisa Lewis), latest resource for personal trainers, strength & nutrition coaches, and physical therapists designed to improve their communication and motivational skills.

It too is really fucking good…;o)

This is the last week you’ll be able to purchase it at $100 off the regular price.

My Wish for Female Fitness: Less Talk About Less

“Why should I be fit?”

Ask a male that question and you’ll hear a bevy of terms and phrases ranging from “to get swole and jacked” to “to get swole and ripped.”[footnote]Or any number of iterations that include the word swole. Swole and sassy?[/footnote]

Ask a female that question? Well, the bulk of them will have an entirely different orientation or framing of answers.

Copyright: dolgachov / 123RF Stock Photo

Most of the time we’ll see an avalanche of words like:

Lean
Slim
Toned
Thin

In other words: For many women the idea of being fit revolves around being LESS. Rather than embracing and accepting their body as something unique and worthy of its own admiration (regardless of size), many women are fixated on the notion that less is sexier.

Healthier.

Better.

This is in stark contrast to the psyche of their male counterparts. Peruse any magazine rack and you’ll immediately notice a different tone:

Big
Strong
Mass
Gain

Here, the goal is MORE.

My wife, Dr. Lisa Lewis, who speaks on this topic and phenomenon frequently, refers to this as a Growth Orientation.

Woman are (generally) programmed to strive for less. By contrast, men are (generally) programmed to strive for more.[footnote]And to always laugh at fart jokes. It’s in or DNA.[/footnote]

“Striving to Be More, Instead of Wanting to Be Less”

Rather than being seduced into the rabbit hole of incessant “weight loss,” which, lets be honest, is the quicksand of the industry – slowly swallowing any semblance of enjoyment and fun out of fitness – I’d like to see more women gravitate towards something I refer to as 3×52.

Instead of a goal of weight loss and steady diet of disappointing results (and Paleo recipes that taste like old lady fart sprinkled with sawdust), the ultimate goal, as far as my own female clients, is to get them in the gym 3 days a week, 52 weeks a year…aiming for CONSISTENCY and PERFORMANCE.

I find if I can get them “married” (for lack of a better term) to finally conquering a chin-up, or deadlifting their bodyweight for reps, or, I don’t know, beating Xena Warrior Princess in a street fight, the aesthetic goals they’re chasing (often saturated with a tone of weight loss) just kinda-sorta…happen.

Better yet…they forget about them altogether, and just want to crush weights.

It’s All About Motivation

This is where my wife Lisa would chime in with her expertise, but I’m going to take as stab at it.

In the seminal book, “Intrinsic Motivation and Self-Determination in Exercise and Sport,” a light read (said no one, ever), motivation is described as:

“….[is] an internal state that energizes and drives action and behavior and determines its direction and persistence.”

The fitness industry, as it relates to women (exponentially so), is very much fixated on extrinsic factors: external appearance, sex appeal, being less.

This isn’t entirely wrong or altogether a bad thing. I understand that for many women looking at magazine covers like the one above, or perusing any number of Instagram accounts of fitness celebrities can be motivating.

However, it’s also very superficial.

Happiness, it would seem, is tethered to one’s waistline or ability to look a certain way society (or magazine editors) deems attractive.

This is not healthy.

And, funnily enough: I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard stories and have seen personally people (both men and women) who have sacrificed a lot to look a certain way.

They give up social events and carbs (CARBS!) in pursuit of six-pack abs or tank-top triceps, only to attain the goal and be like, “huh, that’s it? Well, that’s a bunch of bullshit.”

The moral of the story, however, is to help your clients find and recognize INTRINSIC factors that will fuel their motivation to get fit and healthy. And do so long-term.

The difference and power of intrinsic factors is that they have less to do with external appearance and sex appeal and more to do with finding value in other ways, like:

How exercising makes someone feel.
Exercise matches their values and beliefs.
Someone feels exercise is an important part of their personality, and makes them the best version of themselves possible.

You do that – help someone seek intrinsic motivation – and Tracy Anderson will have less of an influence.

Yay.

via GIPHY

So, Uh, Tony, How Do We Enhance Motivation?

Good question.

1. Facilitate Intrinsic Motivation

This is where being a good, intuitive coach brings value. I’m a strength guy and love the barbell lifts, so it stands to reason I have a little bias towards them.

While I’m at a stage in my career where the majority of women who reach out to me know what they’re getting themselves into – a healthy dose of deadlifts and Tiesto – I also recognize that for some, I can’t force feed anything.

If someone would rather jump into a live volcano than perform a back squat…what good is it to force them to do back squats. That’s a sure-fire way to crush motivation.

It’s my job, then, to do the best I can to match their goals with shit they’ll actually want to do. Maybe instead of back squats we perform Goblet squats, or a crap-ton of sled work?

More to the point, if I can identify their strengths and talents – and utilize things that make them feel like a rock star – we’re in a good place.

This is what happens when @alexandraleigh22 crushes her deadlifts. We pay homage to Kid-n-Play.

A post shared by Tony Gentilcore (@tonygentilcore) on Feb 20, 2017 at 4:25pm PST

2. Highlight Ways to Grow

Building autonomy should always be the goal with any client. You should want them to eventually leave.

Listen to a client’s goals and ALWAYS create plans based on those goals…..always. Allow room for goals to change, be modified, or even abandoned. Everything is negotiable.

A large reason why so many people fail to get results – even when working with a trainer – is that the trainer sucks balls. He or she never takes the initiative to provide education and feedback to increase competency in their clients.

I don’t feel there is nefarious intent or that such a thing is done purposely much of the time, but it does speak to the pure laziness of some trainers and coaches.

I know when I start to work with a new client (female or otherwise) I go out of my way to explain everything, why we’re doing a certain exercise, it’s benefits, and why it will help get them closer to their goals.

Moreover, I make sure to meet her where she’s at.

This kinda mirrors what I said above – I.e., not force feeding YOUR preferences onto your clients – but a crucial component of sustained motivation is competency. This is why I rarely have someone – male or female – straight-bar deadlift on Day #1.

Clients want to feel as if they know what the hell they’re doing, that they can do “stuff,” and that they don’t look foolish.

Foolish

Less Foolish

Look, a Demon Kitten (Which Has Nothing to do With Anything)

3. Build Relatedness

Your relationship & rapport with clients is an essential element of success. Be mindful of your clients’ social needs in regard to their fitness.

For example, if you partake in semi-private training as I do, and you’ve just started with a new female client and you know she’s a bit timid and self-conscious…it’s probably not a bright idea to pair her alongside your male client training for his next powerlifting meet.

Another example, especially when training female clients, Beyonce Radio on Pandora is like female relatedness catnip. It never fails.

Never.

Less Talk About Less

Taking all of the above in consideration will, I feel, help with all the “less” talk that permeates female fitness.

No! We want more.

More confidence, more autonomy, more competence, more muscle (because, why not?), more cowbell, more Beyonce.

Psych Skills for Fitness Pros

What burns us out as coaches isn’t sets/reps, breaking down deadlift technique, or writing a metric-shit ton of training programs (although that last one can be debated). No, what grinds our gears are our…

…clients!

They can be inconsistent, unmotivated, drop off the face of the Earth only to show up three weeks later wondering why they’re not getting results, have poor boundaries, smell really bad, any number of things.

All of which require communication skills to deal with.

Creating a long-lasting career in fitness, one that rewards you with loyal clients who stick around, isn’t about how much you lift, how great your butt looks on Instagram, or how much you spend on Facebook for advertising.

It’s about creating a CONNECTION with your clients.

Psych Skills for Fitness Pros will help you accomplish that.

12+ hours of content – webinars, quizzes, interviews – you complete at home at your own pace.
Earn CEUs via NSCA and NASM.
Gluten free.

Remember: This is the last week to purchase it on SALE, so act now while you can.

March 10, 2020 Tony

Uncategorized

Stuff to Read While You’re Pretending to Work: 7/5/12

Hope everyone (here in the States) enjoyed the 4th! Mine was pretty uneventful all told, and was actually the first time in the six years I’ve lived here, that I actually spent it in Boston – in years past, I’ve always gone up to Maine to enjoy the fresh air and EC’s grandma’s carrot cake.

This year, though, Lisa and I elected to stay in the city and went and bought a new air conditioner instead – cause we’re romantic like that – and then went to go see the movie Ted, which was freakin hilarious!!!!!

Go see it. Now.

30 Years, 30 Health & Fitness Tips – Jon-Erik Kawamoto

Part I, Part II, and Part III

Jon-Erik and I have been stalking one another on the internet for the past year or so (the guy is literally EVERYWHERE now: Men’s Fitness, T-Nation, Oxygen, lurking outside your kitchen window) and I finally had the pleasure of meeting him in person a few weeks ago at the PTDC seminar up in Toronto.

I’ve had my fair share of instantaneous man-crushes in my day – Matt Damon, The Rock, to name a few – and Jon-Erik ranks right up there. He’s one of the most humble guys you’ll ever meet, and he’s just someone who’s passionate about this industry and just “gets it.” He’s already blowing up, but I expect even bigger things for him in the near future.

Do yourself a favor and book mark his website. You won’t be sorry.

And, for those interested, I did a similar piece back when I turned 34 titled 34 Years, 34 Favorite Things. It’s the exact same things as Jon-Erik’s post, except with four more years of asskickery (and hair loss) added in.

The Surprising Science of Motivation – Daniel Pink

This is an older TED talk that I came across recently, but the title says it all: despite what we’ve always been told, it’s surprisingly surprising what actually motivates us to succeed.

While many are quick to point to incentive based programs as the impetus that really motivates us to meet certain deadlines or attain high quotas, Dan Pink – author of the phenomenal book, Drive: The Surprising Truth About What Motivates Us – flips it around and states that such things do nothing but IMPEDE progress and dulls our minds and creativity.

Pretty fascinating stuff if you ask me:

Have I Convinced You to Strength Train Yet? – Monika Volkmar

One of – if not THE reason – why I like to do this weekly “stuff you should read” series is that it allows me the opportunity to relay quality content from other health and fitness professionals that otherwise wouldn’t get too much exposure.

Granted, I link to a lot of articles from other really smart people that are way more of a bigger deal than myself, but I also like to “pay it forward” and help bring some lesser known personalities to the forefront as well.

Monika’s a dancer and she trains a lot of dancers. Unlike many dance coaches, however, she actually understands that strength training can be an important fail safe to not only improve their performance, but prevent their bodies from breaking down at a break neck pace.

While the post is geared towards dancers and may turn people off from reading it, I’d encourage you to read anyways for the message alone.

July 5, 2012 Tony

Motivational

Get Rid of the Toxicity In Your Life

I think a lot of what holds people back from attaining their goals – especially those which are more fitness and health related – is the incessant toxicity that permeates their life. In a way, it’s almost as if we’re all self-sabotaging ourselves, playing the role of enabler to continue sucking at whatever it is we’re sucking at.

Rather than take responsibility for our own actions and hold ourselves accountable, we “accept” things as the way they’re supposed to be, and grow immune to change. Or worse, we just say something lame like “oh, I’ll start getting up early on Monday to go to the gym,” as if the weekend was some sort of free-pass or mulligan to stay complacent.

It goes without saying that in order to change something in our lives – whether it’s something physical, emotional, mental, or whatever – we have to WANT to make those changes. I think we can all agree with that, right?

But one thing that I feel many people fail to comprehend is the notion that we’re all drowning in toxicity that surrounds us.

What do I mean?

Food

I like what Krista Scott Dixon as to say on the matter:

You think your “willpower” is strong enough to keep you out of the potato chips after a tough day of not stabbing your boss? Hah! Make sure the chips aren’t there, make sure some tasty crunchy veggies are there, and then you don’t have to use your over-booked thinky brain to make that decision.

It’s a simple solution, but if the double-stuffed Oreo’s aren’t there – even in your super secret hiding spot – to eat once you’re home from work, you won’t eat them.

Get rid of the toxicity.

Make time to go shopping for more nutritious foods (this is the accountability part). MAKE A LIST, and stick to it. Those who make lists are less likely to buy the Cheese Whiz that’s on sale. Likewise, reduce temptation by staying more in the periphery of the store where the meats and fresh produce reside.

And since we’re on the topic: Buy whole eggs and not the egg whites you Pruis driving, John Mayer listening douche.

Gym

I don’t know about you, but (most) commercial gyms are a joke. Of course, anything that gets people off their ass and exercising is a good thing, but itt’s almost as if training is an afterthought at most of these places, what with HD television screens attached to every piece of equipment and lunk alarms going off whenever someone lifts something heavier than a purse.

Not only that, how in the hell is anyone supposed to get strong with ambient music playing in the background and when no chalk is allowed?

I’ve always stressed that one of the “x-factors” with regards to training is environment. It’s an often overlooked component and something that more people should pay attention to.

NOTHING beats training around like-minded individuals who are going to push you and encourage you to take your body to the limits. Hell, nothing beats training in a gym that actually has more squat racks than treadmills.

This is actually one of the reasons why I like CrossFit. Sure most everything else about it makes a small part of my soul die, but you can’t argue the overwhelming sense of camaraderie that it instills in its members. I dig that.

Even if it’s only once per week, find a gyn that doesn’t suck. Get rid of the toxicity.

People

You’re the summation of the five people you hang out with the most.

No really, you are.

Take me for example. Just last week I was chilling with the likes of Chuck Norris, Mr. T, Jack Bauer, Papa Smurf, and Alicia Keys.

Okay, I lied. I didn’t really hang out with Alicia Keys. But if we did, it would have been awesome.

In all seriousness, though, if you have friends who are more concerned with what beer specials are at which bars during the week or who are constantly chastising or judging you on your healthy lifestyle, screw em! Get rid of them. Or, at the very least, limit your time with them.

By that same token, no one wants to be around a Johnny Raincloud all the time. If you have friends or colleagues who are constantly bringing you down into their valley of gloom and negativity, as harsh as it sounds, get rid of them. Who needs it? You certainly don’t!

Having a strong and supportive social network is kind of a big deal and something you DESERVE to have. Get rid of the toxicity!

Other things come into play here, too.

Turn off the television and pick up a book every once in a while.

Go see an art house film rather than your typical, mindless popcorn movie. This isn’t to say popcorn movies don’t have their place – Dark Knight Rises, anyone? – but you may be surprised at how enjoyable watching a movie with some substance (and an actual plot) might be. Too, art house films usually show lots of boobies! Just an FYI.

Travel!

Go for a walk. Seriously, people forget how beneficial a simple nightly walk can be.

Get off the elliptical and pick up something heavy.

Buy THIS book.

Adopt a pet.

Get off Facebook and live a REAL life and interact with REAL people.

Do some hill sprints.

Try new foods! Preferably ones that are green or used to have a face.

Have any other tips for those looking to remove the toxicity in their life? Share them below!

June 20, 2012 Tony

Uncategorized

What My Kitchen Sink Can Teach You About Accountability

Earlier last week, my girlfriend decided to take a road trip to Vermont to visit her cousin for a few days. Now, as many of you already know, we moved in together a few short months ago, and in the time since, we’ve both come to a mutual understanding of who does what around the apartment. For her part, Lisa generally cooks dinner every night and in addition to that, does the bulk of the laundry. As for me, well, since Lisa cooks every night, it’s only fair that I wash the dishes (and sometimes even put them away….I’m still working on that part). Additionally, I take out the garbage, as well as the recycling, and also play the role of mouse killer from time to time.

For the record, since we’ve moved into our apartment: Tony: 3, Mice: 0. WINNING!!!!

So, being the walking around in my underwear with all the windows open, burping out loud, farting underneath the covers, Sports Center watching male that I am, you can imagine my thought process when Lisa mentioned to me in passing that she was going away for a few days.

YES!!!! I don’t have to put the cap back on the toothpaste or replace the toilet paper when it runs out. Go shorty, it’s your birthday. We’re gonna party, like it’s your birthday!!!

[Cue Carlton dance……]

Okay, that’s not exactly what happened, but I’d be lying if it didn’t enter my mind. You see, there’s this thing called accountability, and it’s a bitch sometimes.

Keeping promises, paying attention to what matters, and holding yourself accountable is a trait that’s often thrown to the wayside in today’s society.

“It is not only what we do, but also what we do not do, for which we are accountable.“- Moliere

Taking the above quote, and using myself as an obvious example, I could have just as easily NOT made the bed while Lisa was away; nor do my part and clean the dishes in the sink; or hang up the wet towels for that matter. For all intents and purposes I could have just said “to hell with it,” and not even bother doing any of my chores. And by “chores,” what I really mean is stuff I should be doing anyways.

But, then what would have happened? Lisa would have come home to this:

And it would have been www.tonyisdefinitelyinthedoghouse.com all over the place.

I bring all of this up because I see much of the same mentality when it comes to people and their fitness and nutrition goals. How many times have we heard of a friend, colleague, or family member vow to start eating a more nutritious and healthy diet, only to buckle three days later as soon as someone invites them to Happy Hour or shows up with a batch of cupcakes?

Likewise, we all know that as human beings, we like to do what’s easy and what we’re good at. Which is to say, why most (not all) trainees tend to opt for the leg press rather than the squat rack; why we’d rather do a few extra sets of bicep curls than deadlifts; or why most tend to gravitate towards the elliptical machine over that “keep the puke bucket ready” metabolic circuit that their program they’re following actually calls for.

It all comes down to accountability. Are you actually going to hold yourself accountable and stick with your diet or exercise plan all the way through, with 100% effort; or are you going to be one of the sheeple who falters and takes the easy route? Either you’re going to clean the dishes or you’re not. Which person are you going to be?

September 7, 2011 Tony