You Want More Tony. I Want People To Stop Eating Cookies.

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So, I’m kinda late in writing today, but I figured better late than never. First off, I want to let everyone know that I started a new training log over at It’s going to serve a few purposes:

1. Give people the opportunity to see how I train and see how I set up my own programming; whether it’s performance related, working around an injury, or continuing to train to be a bad ass.* Rest assured that the new training log will include my normal witty commentary, as well as pictures and videos. Essentially what I’m really trying to say is that Jesus himself told me to start this training log, so it’s gonna be kind of a big deal.

Kind of a big deal

2. As such, I think it would be cool to give people an opportunity to see some of the shenanigans that go down at Cressey Performance.

3. Share my affinity for Kate Beckinsale, Megan Fox, and various other badonkadonks that deserve to be admired in all their glory.

4. Oh yeah, and answer your questions about training, nutrition, corrective exercise, and how to make girls want to hang out with you.

All in all, it should be fun and I’m looking forward to many of you participating. Think of it this way, it will be like me writing TWO blogs; all for your entertainment pleasure! You can get your dose of awesomeness everyday whether it’s here or there. Everyone wins. I’m totally giving you a high five right now.

And in case you couldn’t figure out that the highlighted text above was a link to said training log, you can (cue best Napoleon Dynamite voice) CLICK HERE BECAUSE I HAVE TO DO EVERYTHING FOR YOU, GOSH!

Additionally, since I’m in the writing mood and it’s been awhile since I blogged about something that makes me want to pay random strangers to feed me rat poison, what the hell is up with The Hollywood Cookie Diet?

Hollywood Cookie Diet

First off, I’ve never heard of this (or maybe I have, but thought it was a nightmare and chose to forget about it). Secondly, it doesn’t surprise me in the least that it exists. Thirdly, I just went to their website and the home page has a clip from the show Lipstick Jungle, where the three main characters are sitting at a table, and two of them are pestering the other as to how she looks so good/luminous/slutty (whatever), and of course she attributes it to The Hollywood Cookie Diet. COOKIES!!!! Fourthly, Lipstick Jungle ain’t no Sex and the City. Better believe dat, sista!

Anyways, I came across an ad for this monstrosity in a magazine that my friend took off a plane last weekend. On it, there was a quote from a woman who stated, “I lost five pounds in three days using the Hollywood Cookie Diet!”

This kind of nonsense just drives me crazy. People are going to attribute this version of caloric control (that’s all ANY fad diet is, learning to control calories in a way that leads to a deficit), to what else… freakin cookies. Just great. Four cookies per day, plus a “sensible” dinner, and the pounds will just fly off. That is of course, until they’re unable to spend upwards of $19.95 per box (three day supply) and revert back to their normal eating habits and put the weight back on, and then some. Or you know, suppress their t3-t4 levels so much that they totally screw over their metabolism and fat loss comes to a screaming halt. Which ever comes first.

Cookie Monster

The sooner people realize that the key to long-term weight loss is changing their eating habits, and not perpetuating their ability to make atrocious food choices (seriously? cookies?), the sooner I’ll stop wanting to bash my head against a wall

*=Including but not limited to working on my ninja star throwing skills, dominating people in Lord of the Rings trivia, collecting vintage GI Joe memorabilia, and maybe, if I play my cards right, having a real live girl actually let me touch her boobies.

Did what you just read make your day? Ruin it? Either way, you should share it with your friends and/or comment below.

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Plus, get a copy of Tony’s Pick Things Up, a quick-tip guide to everything deadlift-related. See his butt? Yeah. It’s good. You should probably listen to him if you have any hope of getting a butt that good.

I don’t share email information. Ever. Because I’m not a jerk.

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