Categoriesfitness business personal training psychology

How the Friendship Formula Can Enhance Your Fitness Business

Copyright: svetazi / 123RF Stock Photo

Tony’s Brief Intro

Venn diagrams can be a very useful tool to help illustrate the relationships amongst a finite group of things. Circles that overlap have a commonality while circles that don’t overlap do not share those traits.

Let’s use the fitness industry as an example.

“Success” as a fitness professional can be broken down like this:

LOL – Just kidding. 

It’s actually more like this (overly simplified, of course, for brevity’s sake):

There’s no shortage of resources out there highlighting the stuff on the left. It only makes sense that a personal trainer knows how to coach a squat or that they can differentiate one’s ass from their acetabulum, and there’s an abyss of ways to gather and learn that information.

On the right side, however, things becomes a bit more convoluted. Those things are less talked about and as a result are harder to learn (much less appreciate their importance).

Today’s guest post by Michigan based fitness trainer, Alex McBrairty, highlights the right-hand side. I promise you that if you’re a fitness professional this information is relevant and will undoubtedly help you grow your business.

How the “Friendship Formula” Can Enhance Your Fitness Business

Clients work with coaches who they enjoy being around.

At the end of the day, most clients don’t know the difference between good advice and bad advice, but they can tell the difference between having a good experience or a bad one.

Providing a good experience boils down to being able to connect with your clients.

But do you know how to connect with clients in a meaningful way, one that shows them you care and have their best interests at heart? The purpose of this article is to help you understand the psychological foundations for connecting with others. This process involves more than small talk and having the courage to go out and meet others.

Fortunately, the art of human connection can be broken down into a relatively simple formula.

We’ll call it, “The Friendship Formula.”

There are three core components of this formula: familiarity, likability, and vulnerability. Each component fulfills a particular role, creating a feedback loop that allows the relationship to reinforce and strengthen over time. If you learn how to implement this process like any other system in your business, you can attract and sign more clients, improve retention rates, and build a thriving coaching business helping people.

Familiarity

In 1950, researchers studied the community life of a group of veterans living in the same housing complex [1]. The results they found were surprising. One of the best predictors of closeness between individuals was their physical proximity to one another.

This same effect was repeated in another study completed in 1967 measuring the social interactions and relationships among college freshmen sharing the same dorm. Physical proximity was again a strong predictor of the strength of closeness between students—roommates were most likely to become friends, followed by neighbors immediately next door, then neighbors down the hall, then lastly by neighbors on a separate floor [2].

Proximity Principle

The proximity principle is the idea that mere physical closeness increases interpersonal attraction. In other words, repeated physical exposure to the same people increases the likelihood that you will become friends. This is due in part to the mere exposure effect and the attribution of perceived similarities (more on this in a bit).

Mere Exposure Effect

Another psychological phenomenon that supports the benefit of physical proximity is the mere exposure effect. This states that we tend to prefer things that are more familiar to us.

Think of your favorite comfort foods.

Likely you consumed these foods often as a child, and it is this familiarity that creates your sense of comfort upon re-experiencing them.

Additionally, studies have shown that we even prefer words that we hear more often [3]. If the proximity principle sets you up for increased familiarity, the mere exposure effect comes in for the alley-oop to allow this familiarity to breed into increased positive emotions toward you. Combined, they set the stage for a new connection to blossom.

Christina Abbey, an online fitness coach, understands how to create this proximity and exposure on the gym floor. Whether she’s training clients, performing her own workouts, or just being available to socialize, she makes sure she is visible to other gym patrons.

As Abbey said, “People like what they are familiar with. If they constantly see you crushing your workouts and being a positive motivator to others, you will be the obvious choice when they’re ready to ask for help.”

The first step in creating new connections with other people is to ensure you are being repeatedly exposed to them. Being seen on the gym floor, attending parties and events they might also be attending, participating in similar activities, and being generally as visible as possible leads to this familiarity.

This could also include online visibility—via social media posts and interactions.

Andrew Coates, fitness coach, writer, and host of the “Lift Free and Diet Hard” podcast, is a big supporter of creating this familiarity via a strong social media presence. Coates suggests being consistent on your platform, following and interacting with your followers, and regularly sharing high-value content. Combining those elements creates a sense of “being around,” which can breed that familiarity with you and your work that can draw in potential clients.

Likability

The second component of creating new relationships is establishing likability. People won’t want to be around you, nor give you their money, unless they like you. Being liked is so important, in fact, that Dr. Robert Cialdini identified it as one of the six principles of persuasion in his book, Influence.

Note From Tony: I shoulda included a picture of the book Influence here, but decided on Gizmo instead; one of the most likable creatures ever. EVER!

There are two core concepts important to understanding how to create likability: similarity and reciprocity (another of those persuasion principles).

Perceived and Actual Similarities

The power of the proximity principle lies in our assumptions about others. When we come into frequent contact with the same people, we often assume we have more things in common than that which is immediately evident. These perceived similarities lead to a greater sense of liking.

This occurs for a few reasons.

First, we craft our own self-identity, at least in part, by those we choose to associate with. This is called social identity theory. If we maintain a particular view about who we are as a person, we are more likely to self-select individuals who support that view—people who hold similar interests, personality traits, and world views [5]. We like those similar to us because they prove that we are who we think we are.

The second factor that leads to our favorability toward similar others is that it makes the relationship easier to maintain. When we become friends with individuals who carry wildly different views, or behave in very different ways, it exposes us to a greater likelihood of potential conflict with these individuals.

For example, imagine a trainer who took a drill sergeant approach, and a client who responded best to positive affirmations.

These differences would increase the likelihood of conflicts arising in the future. The coach’s lack of positive regard actively discourages the client instead of giving them the push that the coach expects. Now the coach wrongfully believes the client is unmotivated, and the client believes that the coach simply doesn’t care enough to acknowledge them. Befriending those different from us exposes us to these potential disagreements.

Therefore, if you want to give yourself an edge in establishing bonds with new people, work to identify and reinforce any similarities that might exist. This could include values, hobbies, food preferences, even favorite book genres; the possibilities are endless.

Looking at Coates’ towering figure, you wouldn’t immediately know that he’s an avid fan of fantasy fiction, comic books, and video games. These hobbies allow him to connect with individuals who share those interests, even when they might have little else in common. As Coates put it, loving “nerd culture” before it was cool doesn’t always align with growing up active, so his shared interest in that material allows him to connect better with this audience.

Tony Gentilcore, CSCS, has worked with everyone from powerlifters, figure competitors, moms, CEOs of big companies, and everyone in between. Gentilcore takes a two-tiered approach to finding similarities with his clients.

The first is to focus on the fact that both he and his clients are there to get the best results possible for the client. In other words, they’re both playing for the same team. (This focus on teamwork can also help create shared experiences. More on that in a minute.)

His second strategy is to ask about movies. In fact, Gentilcore includes a question in his intake asking new clients to share their favorite movie. As he says, “It serves as a nice ice-breaker. And on the off-chance that there’s awkward silence at any point during one of their initial sessions, I can always bring it up: ‘So, John, Eyes Wide Shut huh? what’s your favorite scene?’”

Fidelio. Cue awkward silence.

Even if there aren’t any immediately identifiable similarities between you and another person, you can almost always find some sort of shared interest or aspect of your backgrounds if you dig deep enough. Let your natural curiosity take over and explore the interests of others.

Reciprocal Liking

We have an inherent need to both act fairly and be treated fairly. As a result, whenever someone does something for us, be it a favor or giving a gift, we have a tendency to want to repay the giver in kind. Usually this is completed through a favor completed at a later time or a gift given in exchange. This effect also extends to our relationships with others.

When it becomes clear that others like us, we feel compelled to reciprocate by liking them in return [4], a concept referred to as reciprocal liking. Therefore, if you want to create new relationships with others, start by showing your liking toward them. In exchange, they will likely take a more favorable view toward you and be more open to establishing a relationship.

One simple way to create reciprocal liking is to tell your clients explicitly and regularly that you appreciate their business and truly enjoy working with them. This approach has such a big pay-off that it’s astonishing more professionals don’t do it as a consistent part of their practice. (And if you don’t enjoy working with them, you have a different kind of problem and may need to reevaluate what you’re doing on a bigger scale.)

via GIPHY

Even if you seemingly have nothing in common during your first interactions (you can’t readily find any similarities), let your curiosity take over.

The best way to demonstrate liking and be interesting is to be interested.

Inquire into their interests and other areas of pride. Ask meaningful questions that allow you to learn more about the individual whom you’d like to create a connection with. Surely, if you are truly curious, you will eventually find something you have in common. You might even create a new shared interest that didn’t exist before.

In fact, this is one of Abbey’s favorite parts of the job:

“It’s a unique experience to not only work with people from all walks of life but to build relationships and connect with them over time.” She admits that sometimes it’s harder to find these similar interests. In these situations, she uses as many clues as she can, “T-shirts can give you a huge insight about what people are into. Places they’ve been, events they attended, or bands they love. If you are really listening, then you’ll likely discover at least one thing you have in common.”

When Mike Doehla, founder of Stronger U Nutrition, started his company, he had no idea about entrepreneurship or running a business. Two of his early clients were involved in multiple businesses in his area, and through them he began to learn more about it.

Because of them, Doehla eventually made the decision to quit his day job and focus on building Stronger U full-time.

I guess you could say that was a good choice, given that Stronger U has now helped tens of thousands of clients across the globe. Doehla’s interest in entrepreneurship remains. He’s gone on to be involved in seven other businesses and constantly reads about the subject. His passion for entrepreneurship started because he wanted to learn more about his clients.

Being regularly visible to and present with those you’d like to befriend increases your familiarity to them, which, in turn, improves your likability and their potential desire to want to connect with you. Building on shared connections and expressing your genuine appreciation for your clients further enhances your likability.

Both of these factors are relatively superficial, however, and while important for initially establishing a relationship, by themselves they are not sufficient to cultivate deeper bonds. For that more enduring connection, you’ll need to create vulnerability in order to develop closeness and trust.

Vulnerability

Vulnerability is defined as a state of being that exposes us to the possibility of being hurt or harmed, either physically or emotionally.

Being vulnerable in a relationship involves sharing our biggest dreams, our deepest fears, our greatest joys and our worst pain. This act of complete openness is often avoided by so many simply because of the risks of this exposure. By giving this information to another person, we give them the power to do us harm.

Yet, while it may seem so hard to be vulnerable with another person—especially someone we don’t know very well—research has shown that this vulnerability is actually the key to creating deep, meaningful relationships with others [6].

The Power of Shared Experiences

Why does vulnerability do such an excellent job of bringing people together into meaningful relationships? At least part of the effect can be explained by concepts presented by Sebastian Junger in his book, Tribe (and his ideas are supported by prevailing research).

The connectedness created through vulnerability is established because we bond best through shared emotional experiences with others, both positive and negative [7,8]. The ability to identify these shared experiences—through the openness created from being vulnerable—is what allows the connectedness of the relationship to solidify.

Mike Doehla knows how important these shared experiences are. In his work, the topic of cancer comes up and causes quite a disruption in clients’ emotional state and focus. As Doehla put it, “The last thing on people’s minds after a cancer diagnosis, or death, is what they’re going to eat. I’m a pretty open dude, so I would share my story often.”

The story he’s referring to is about losing his mom to cancer when he was just 23 years old.

“When I lost my mom, nothing else mattered, especially eating well. I wanted my clients to understand I could relate, and I knew what was most important in that moment. And it wasn’t the food. It was the family and the feelings. In these situations, I would always make sure people knew I was here and I did not expect perfection of any kind. I was just a shoulder they could lean on who could help minimize extra stressors if they needed it.”

Gentilcore is unbashful when it comes to discussing his personal journey with mental health and how he still routinely speaks to a therapist on a monthly basis. He sees how society prides itself in our ability to bottle up and compartmentalize our thoughts and feelings, and his openness can sometimes take clients by surprise.

“I often bring up my past bouts with depression with clients (when appropriate), if for no other reason than to emphasize how helpful it was for me that I started seeing a therapist. My thought is that if I am open about my experiences, then maybe it’ll be enough of a nudge to encourage a client of mine to seek out help if he or she needs it.”

Not only does sharing their stories create a shared emotional experience between each of these trainers and their respective clients, but their clients likely feel heard and validated, too—the opposite of being judged. When you can express your humanity, your clients will feel valued and cared for.

There is no better customer service strategy.

Empathetic Balance

While vulnerability appears to be the most important factor in creating closeness with others, proper judgment should be used when deciding when it is appropriate to share these experiences and feelings. Creating shared experiences allows us to empathize with others—the ability to feel the emotions they feel.

This means we can feel the positive emotions expressed by others, but it also means we will experience the negative emotions, too. If you are overly sharing your negative experiences and feelings with others, it can have the opposite intended effect by causing others to avoid future social interactions with you because they don’t want to be drawn into your negative energy.

If you are constantly “dampening the mood,” others will seek to avoid your company.

via GIPHY

Think about what happens when a client upsets this balance with their constant negativity. Abbey and Coates agree that if this negativity becomes too great, the best course of action is to refer out or otherwise get rid of the client. Doing so can protect your energy and allow you to be more positive toward the other clients in your care.

Imagine if the situation were reversed?

A trainer who brings too much negativity is going to repel clients.

It is important, then, to not only use vulnerability as a tool to deepen relationships, but also to balance negative openness with positive openness—sharing your dreams, aspirations, and joyful experiences in addition to your fears and bad experiences.

Strategic Vulnerability

When considering when to create these shared experiences using vulnerability, remember the two most important factors: relevancy and empathetic balance.

You should share moments of vulnerability as they become relevant to the conversation, seeking to balance positive and negative experiences. Additionally, make sure the conversation remains directed to your client.

Disordered eating is something that most people never seek professional help for. Knowing this, as soon as Abbey’s clients begin to show signs of disordered eating, she uses that moment to open up about her own struggles with disordered eating.

Her goal in sharing her experience is first to let them know that they are not alone and shouldn’t feel ashamed.

Additionally, it’s to help them feel validated and encouraged to seek help from a registered dietician as well as support from people they trust. Opening up about her own struggles is a very personal subject, but it opens the door to creating deep bonds with many of her clients.

It takes a certain level of bravery to open yourself up to someone else.

Your client may not always be the first to share.

You may find yourself being vulnerable without an immediate return of vulnerability from the other person. This is normal and may just mean they need more time to feel comfortable. Fortunately, this doesn’t necessarily mean your openness was in vain. Once you’ve experienced your first offering of vulnerability, you have introduced a newer, stronger level of familiarity—which will breed greater likability and future moments of vulnerability.

Bringing It All Together

You now have the tools to better connect with current and future clients. Yet, there is one imperative piece of the puzzle missing that you must supply: a genuine interest in wanting to connect with others.

Most people are very aware when someone is being fake, and faking any of these steps can lead to disaster. You must be genuinely curious about others and want to make a connection with them in a real, authentic way.

Also consider that once a connection is established, it requires work to maintain. You must continually traverse this loop so long as you want to prevent the relationship from going stale.

Think of close childhood friends whom you no longer visit frequently. You’ve likely been very familiar, liked, and vulnerable with them during periods of your life. Now that you’ve grown apart, the relationship is not as close as it once was. This can happen to any relationship, even those with the closest of friends and loved ones, let alone your clients, without the proper care and attention it deserves.

You can use this formula again and again to reach and connect with more people. With this knowledge, you are better prepared to build new relationships to boost your client roster and retention rates. Building strong relationships will inevitably lead to greater success in your business.

About the Author

Alex McBrairty is an online fitness coach who owns A-Team Fitness in Ann Arbor, Michigan. Obese as a child and teenager, he blends fitness and psychology to help his clients discover their own hidden potential.

He has a bachelor’s degree in psychology from the University of Michigan and is certified by the National Academy of Sports Medicine.

His articles have appeared in Breaking Muscle and The Personal Trainer Development Center, and he’s contributed to Muscle & Fitness, USA Today, Men’s Fitness, and Prevention.

Website: ateamfit.com
Facebook: facebook.com/alex.mcbrairty
Instagram: @_ateamfit_

Categoriesmindset Program Design psychology

10 Suggestions On Your Quest For Sustainable Fitness

Fitness is an individual endeavor.

Everyone has different goals, aspirations, pacing, expectations, and Spotify playlists that get them revved up to exercise.

Today’s guest post, written by Westchester, NY based personal trainer Elaine Studdert, highlights the concept of sustainable fitness and strategies people can use to attain it.

Enjoy!

Copyright: Andriy Popov

10 Suggestions On the Quest For Sustainable Fitness

Sustainable

NOUN

  1. the ability to be maintained at a certain rate or level.

What is sustainable fitness?

Sustainable fitness is a mindset rather than a program. Having the right mindset is the difference between reaching your goals rather than continually chasing them. This is something you can practice for life, at any phase, at any age, at any fitness level.

Sustainable fitness is not a quick fix.

It’s not about getting results in six weeks.

It’s slow and steady versus a quick fix. It’s reasonable and maintainable over the long haul. It’s fitness you can stick to and get lasting results with.

It means working hard but working smart.

Taking this approach doesn’t mean you can’t have hardcore abs, get shredded, or ripped.

Quite the opposite, because if you stick to a plan the sustainable approach works. Any program that promises quick results is probably too good to be true.

Would most of us rather lose 40lbs in 40 days?

Absolutely! The problem with that is what happens after the 40 days? Programs making false promises can lead to burnout or injury.

If the program claims to be insane, it probably is.

Discovering what will work for you is a process, but worth the effort. The potential for achieving your goals grows exponentially once you figure it out.

Here are things to focus on while you search:

1. Consistency Is the Key to Finding Sustainable Fitness

If you attempt to keep up a pace that allows little time for anything else in your life it will be almost impossible to maintain.

Keep a schedule that is manageable with your lifestyle. And once you find it, do your best to stick to it.

2. Expect Ups, Downs, and Bumps In the Road Ahead

Don’t be derailed by an “off day” or a “missed workout.”

In the long run the trajectory will be on an upward trend if you stick to a consistent plan rather than a quick fix. This might sound boring but consistency is the way to success. If you miss a workout don’t try and make up for it and work extra hard next time.

Just move on!

3. Appreciate the Little Things

Take time to celebrate small successes and don’t expect changes to happen overnight.

You are in this for the long haul. Little changes add up over time and compound. Similar to money invested in the stock market, your strength will build over time. Short term gains might be easy to attain but those gains can be quickly lost if you don’t sustain them.

Add a little bit to your portfolio each week and watch yourself get stronger.

4. Work At a Level That Is Easy to Maintain.

If you are at a level 10 for every workout it will be hard to keep that up.

That is not to say you should never go all out and push limits.

However, the majority of your workouts should be reasonable and not leave you so sore that you have to take days of rest to recover.

Think moderation!

5. Keep It Simple

Focus on mastering basic skills.

Try not to be enticed by every new program or exercise that you see. Just keep your blinders on and stick to what works.

That doesn’t mean you should repeat the same workout forever, but mixing things up all the time doesn’t allow for progression.

6. Be Authentic to Yourself

If you have never picked up a weight before then seek guidance from a friend or fitness professional. Don’t try to jump into a fitness challenge that you are physically not ready for.

Build up to it.

7. Know Where You Are and Accept It

Something you did in the gym ten years ago may not be relevant today.

If you are getting over an injury or getting back to the gym after a long hiatus, start where you are at the moment, not where you were in the past.

Be honest and patient with yourself.

8. Move Every Day

Not every workout takes place in a gym.

Take a walk, a bike ride, play a sport, or just do mobility work.

Everything adds up.

9. Find Your Tribe

Being with like-minded people is a huge help in keeping yourself on track.

10. Lastly, Pay Attention to Your Nutrition and Recovery.

Exercise is just one part of the equation. Don’t ignore everything else.

The most important thing to keep in mind while finding your sustainable fitness is to be flexible. Remember that life will throw challenges at you and you need to adapt. If you stay true to practicing the above, you will have the tools you need to be able to navigate anything life throws your way.

About the Author

Elaine Studdert is an ACE Certified Personal Trainer based in Westchester, NY.

She trains clients virtually and in-person at HealthyFit in Mamaroneck. Elaine specializes in functional movement and kettlebell training. She loves to work with clients who are looking to improve their quality of life through movement.

See her most recent article on virtual fitness training at Larchmont Loop.

Follow Elaine on social media: Instagram: HERE

Categoriescoaching Motivational psychology

How Macho Bull and the Word Should Can Hold Back Your Training

Today’s guest post comes courtesy of UK based strength coach, Chris Kershaw, and lands on a theme I am a huge proponent of…

…Jennifer Lopez, Jason Bourne fight scenes, kitty cuddles people “should’ing” all over themselves.

  • I “should” life x amount of weight.
  • I “should” train x number of days per week.
  • I “should” workout despite being injured.

All of these so-called rules are made-up BS and nothing more than stories we tell ourselves. You may find that you fall prey to this line of thinking.

If so, read on…

Copyright: etiamos

How Macho Bull and the Word “Should” Can Hold Back Your Training

For the last six months, I’ve been trying to build my squat back up to my previous numbers prior to the pandemic. Not surprisingly, I got a little inside my head and decided I “should” add weight to the barbell every…single…week.

The result of this 100% made up “should” rule resulted in a steady escalation of a pesky back injury every six weeks.

Times were sucky.

Needlessly adhering to silly, arbitrary rules hurt me.

Why Is It Important to Manage Our Relationship With These Rules?

When our mental health becomes defined by our performance in the gym you risk everything blowing up and our head space becomes tethered to whether or not we have a bad session or two.

Good session (hit our numbers) = Everything is hunky dory. Don’t worry babe, I’ll make dinner and wash the dishes tonight.

Bad session (miss our numbers) =

via GIPHY

So the solution is you need to get better forever, yes?

No!

We are all getting older. One day, our performance will decline.

If you are defined by your gym performance, you will eventually run into problems.

Having an awareness of the “should” rules will hopefully keep you on the side of positive unconditional regard most of the time and help you to avoid dips in mental health relating to your training.

Another benefit to understanding your relationship with these “should” rules is better decision-making in training.

If you make better decisions, your training will be less self-sabotaging.

It’s not the answer to all your training woes, but it might allow you to train longer without injury, to be able to do your rehab without much resentment, and/or get you to the gym a few more times a year.

In short, staying cognizant of these “should” rules will give you the ability to perform poorly in the gym, to be unhappy about it, but still be able to turn the page, chill out, and accept yourself as being okay.

 

“Should” Rules That Aren’t Actually Rules

I should….

1. Lift More Weight Every Week

Macho bullshit.

You can’t lift more every week. You’re not He-Man (or She-Ra).

Most of the time, you’ll lift the same weight or less.

If you train regularly with a solid plan, your numbers will go up eventually. If you try to force the numbers up every week then you’ll likely end up frustrated and hurt.

Note From TG: I couldn’t agree more. I often call this expectation management, and it’s something I have to consistently remind my clients of. Like I always say…easy training is good training.

2. Lift More in Competition Than in the Gym

Some people lift more in the gym than in competition, others don’t. You need to compete a few times before you decide you are going to go for a massive PR in competition.

3. I Shouldn’t Get Injured

You’re not Wolverine.

Injuries are part of this journey.

The idea you’ll never get injured is a misguided idea.

You should do everything in your power to have good recovery, and to limit the risk of injury as much as you can, but it isn’t always possible.

4. Deadlift More Than I Squat

Not necessarily.

Josh Greenfield, (a world-record squatter) has a much bigger squat than his deadlift.

My squat and deadlift are around the same, and that is the case for many athletes around the world.

The difference between the two is decided by many factors, most of which are out of your control. Build great technique in them both, program them correctly, go at each lift with the same attitude, and see how they progress.

5. Front Squat

Unless you are training for a particular sport using a particular movement, you don’t need to do that movement if it’s causing you problems.

After a few weeks of front squatting, my knees want to explode.

What does this mean?

It means I don’t front squat often in favour of safety bar squats, goblet squats, or leg presses.

Trying to include a movement in your plan because you “should” is misguided. Quit banging your head against a movement that is hurting you.

6. Low Bar Squat

“LOW BAR SQUAT OR NOTHING!”

-Low bar squat extremist.

If your low bar squat sucks, and you keep hurting yourself then stop low bar squatting.

Find a squat variation you DO get on with.

7. Sumo Deadlift

If sumo deadlifts ruin your hips then the chances are sumo deadlifts don’t work for you. Don’t worry, you will be able to find a deadlift variation optimal for you.

The same goes for any other deadlift variation people say you “should” do.

If it hurts you consistently and your form looks good, switch it up. Maybe rack pulls or block deadlifts work better for you. That’s ok.

8. Max Out EVERY SESSION

Yes, you should, if you want to: 1) get injured 2) make training so mentally exhausting that you’ll burn out in 4 seconds.

This is macho bullshit hampering your training.

To make maxing out effective, you have to pick your battles. When you are in a competition is a great time to max-out.

When it’s something you do because it’s a Tuesday (or something equally as random and there’s no planning involved) you’re setting yourself up for trouble.

I like having my clients max-out infrequently as it’s hard to recover from and it’s risky.

I’d much rather a lifter got stronger while keeping some effort in the tank for another day unless they are competing.

9. Take Pre-Workout Before Every Session

Pre-workout supplements, when used diligently can work effectively.

When used perpetually to fuel sessions, we often see issues with anxiety, motivation, and other issues because of the knock-on effects on recovery.

via GIPHY

Too-much pre-workout makes people need to de-load more often and makes stupid decisions in training more likely.

My personal strategy is to have a black coffee or sugar-free energy drink before training rather than a specific pre-workout supplement.

10. Be Able to Train Hard All the Time

Life happens, we don’t sleep sometimes, we get injured, and we get ill.

Sometimes, you will train poorly, and the cold truth of it all is most sessions are going to be average.

Some sessions will be awful.

Sometimes bad sessions come out of the blue, other times it’s after doing something you wouldn’t usually do.

Often it’s due to things completely out of your control. Which means bad sessions are unavoidable.

You have to be able to cope with that if you are to succeed in making training a long-term habit.

11. Train “x” Amount of Times Per Week

Based on over a decade of working with people like you, can you guess what training frequency tends to work best for people?

  • 6 times a week?
  • 5 times?

The answer is 3-4 sessions of 30-90 minutes.

For most, trying to train more than this is wildly optimistic.

If your favourite athlete trains 18 times a week it doesn’t mean you should.

Typically when people with lives end up training hard more than four times per week they end up under-recovered and over-injured.

For most people, I’d encourage you to train 3-4 times per week with various non-gym walks/steady cardio sessions dispersed throughout the week, with a little bit of HIT training .

12. Train Through Injury or Illness

You can safely train around an injury with careful exercise selection, and the correct application of rehab work.

Expecting to push through a program without factoring in your injury is macho bullshit.

When injury strikes you have to adapt to the circumstances, not steamroll ahead without changing course. The course correction may only need to be small, but a change of course will be needed to accommodate an injury.

With illness, there are times when you have to train, especially with chronic illness.

But with cold, flu, coronavirus, or whatever other short-term illness you have you to rest 1) so you don’t spread it to others and 2) so you don’t end up more unwell.

Conclusion

Good training is built upon hundreds of good decisions. Trying to adhere to rules because you “should” derails those decisions and makes it more likely you will make bad decisions and mess up your training.

When you begin training, many of these bad decisions will crop up.

By avoiding these bad decisions and rules that aren’t rules, your training is likely to be more consistent, more productive, and less stressful.

This is a good thing.

About the Author

Chris Kershaw is a certified personal trainer located in Leeds, England.

Known as The Heavy Metal Strength Coach, Chris aims to show as many people as possible that consistently lifting weights and working with a coach “isn’t that bad.”

He works with clients to improve their lives via the medium of the barbell (and the occasional kettlebell.)

Website: HERE                 Instagram: HERE

Categoriespsychology

Self-Sabotage: No One Is Coming to Save You

Today’s guest post comes from good friend and TG.com regular contributor (albeit it’s been a minute), George Kalantzis.

We all have that negative voice inside our heads telling us we can’t do something or convincing us there’s no way to accomplish a goal.

  • I can’t lose 20 lbs, why even try?
  • There’s no way I can survive a CrossFit class.
  • Can I really pull off white after Labor Day?

There’s a myriad of examples in everyday life where we self-sabotage or talk ourselves out of doing something.

George helps to shed some light on the topic and to encourage use to cut the shit.

Copyright: gstockstudio / 123RF Stock Photo

Self-Sabotage: No One Is Coming to Save You

What would your life look like if there were no limits?

If the above question has you thinking about life from a different lens, then I did my job, and you do not have to read the rest of the article.

If life was only that easy- right?

But we both know you aren’t here for the easy way out, and Because Heavy Things Won’t Lift Themselves, let’s get warmed up for some heavy lifting, but not by using our god/goddess-like structures we’ve all sculpted during the quarantine.

Today, we are going to train using our brains.

Whatever challenge you face in life, asking the right kinds of questions can help you achieve massive breakthroughs. I’ve spent most of my life looking for answers until I went through a tough transition in life and discovered self-sabotage patterns and how my mind was holding me back from doing dope shit in life.

Self-sabotage exists for a reason.

It perceivably keeps us safe from our fears and prevents us from stepping outside our comfort zones. But if we can find ways to get past the voices holding us back, we can turn the impossible to possible, and limits become limitless.

What is Self-Sabotage

In a nutshell, self-sabotage occurs when a pattern of behaviors creates a conundrum of limiting beliefs that hold you back from achieving goals and stepping outside your comfort zone. When you embark on a self-discovery journey, whether through lifting heavy weights, running, yoga, or any other way to challenge your mind and body, patterns from your past sneak up in subtle ways and interfere with your growth.

It’s not your fault because your subconscious (the little voices in your head) creates templates throughout your life based on past experiences. Anytime you start to approach the edge of life you are used to, you mess up and revert to old routines.

(I did this a lot, and still, catch myself).

You might even be aware of this pattern, but you reject the thought and look for more answers. You try new things. You process information, and for some reason, never able to change. Self-sabotage has taken you hostage.

Maybe you are afraid of failure and give up on yourself. Or scared of rejection, and never stand up for what you value. Perhaps you are scared of what others think, and seek validation in all you do. While well-intended, the intention does not support unlocking the doors to do dope shit with your life.

How do you recognize self-sabotage and call yourself out before your limiting beliefs take over?

I wish I could say I had all the answers to those questions, and I’m willing to bet Lisa, Tony’s wife can help you with this area of life. But to keep things simple, let’s talk about some basics.

Note From TG: Lisa’s written a number of great articles on this site revolving around motivation and mindset. You can check them out HERE.

Also, you can visit her Instagram page (HERE) where she does a splendid job at interweaving fitness and psychology with her daily posts. Or, you can check out her website HERE. Finally, on an aside, she can likely beat me in an arm-wrestling match. She’s pretty jacked.

Because like heavy deadlifts help create a fantastic physique, acknowledging patterns of self-sabotage gives you the tools to break away from the limiting beliefs holding you back.

Let’s Pick Some Heavy Ass Weights Up!

To get started, you must call out these areas before you begin any transformation and catch them before the repeat in your life. Think of it as selecting specific exercises for a specified training session to hit a massive PR.

Every time you acknowledge and name the area in life, holding you back, you build a new set of skills to push past your comfort zone. Sure, you can skip this step and get amazing results, but eventually, the subtle signs of self-sabotage will catch up to you, and before you know it, you are right back where you started.

Possible areas holding you back:

Health. Money. Relationships. Sex. Happiness. Careers. Accomplishments. Family.

Standard methods of self-sabotage:

Procrastination. Perfectionism. Emotional eating. Undertraining. Overtraining. Impulsive spending. Busyness. Sleeping late. Constant tardiness. Temper issues. Anger issues.

These areas of life are ubiquitous, yet many of us have no clue how to overcome common obstacles because we become victims of the stories we tell ourselves.

  • I’m too old
  • I’m too fat
  • I’ll never be able to look like “x.”
  • I’ll never change
  • I’m not strong enough
  • I’ve always been like this
  • You fill in the blanks

The sad part is when we have beliefs like these, we hardly ever test our limits. Life at best becomes a chase, and we seek to find surface-level answers to problems deep-rooted from our past. When viewed from this perspective, self-sabotage makes sense.

We’re all under pressure from today’s world, forcing us to make quick decisions without ever taking a step back to ask more questions. The paradox in our chase for life is many of us are never satisfied because the things we think we want never align with our values.

Which brings me back to you, and my original question.

What would your life look like if there were no limits?

via GIPHY

(👆👆👆 Tony’s Editorial Contribution 👆👆👆)

I ask my clients this because it opens up doors for them to dope shit, not because it’s a dope question, but because questions like this demand, they choose a path in the face of uncertainty.

You are what you choose, and an uncomfortable truth many are not willing to face is we can never choose two things at the same time.

Or as the old English proverb says, you cant have your cake and eat it too.

The right kinds of questions can challenge you to see maybe you don’t know much about life, if anything. And the more invitations we give ourselves to ask better questions, the more we take full responsibility for our lives and punch our comfort zones in the kidneys.

Here is why this matters

The hardest part of any transformation is understanding what you want and value because without doing so, your brain will hunt for negativity in life. Psychologists refer to this concept as ” negativity bias: the idea that we’re always searching for negativity to see the dangers around us, but when we embark on a transformation of any kind, it doesn’t serve us well.

We all want to look good, feel good, have amazing relationships, and be happy. But no one ever wants to take full responsibility for the choices in life when we experience uncomfortable feelings associated with growth.

The truth is, nothing in life comes easy. You already know this, but because you focus on all the things you don’t want, you stay inside your comfort zone even if your comfort zone leaves you feeling depressed, burned out, exhausted, and resentful. When your behaviors and choices don’t match up with what you say you want, you’ll let self-sabotage ruin your entire life.

If you’re ready, I’d like to invite you beyond self-sabotage so you can go on to do dope shit in life.

How To Beat Self-Sabotage

Write down all the areas on your life holding you back, and the stories you continue to tell yourself. Notice how those stories make you feel and how often they prevent you from growth. The more honest you are, the more success you’ll have, changing them later on.

One of the biggest ones in my previous life was

“I am always broke…”

My story prevented me from saving money because I was afraid of my numbers and avoided them like the plague. This story made me feel like a failure, and I was in a constant state of financial stress.

After you acknowledge these beliefs and how they make you feel and hold you back, write down the opposite of this belief to help you prove this belief is not valid.

Self-Sabotage- I am always broke

New Story: I have never been honest with my numbers and have enough skills and experiences to live with abundance.

After you tell yourself a new belief, design a plan, and take action to prove to yourself you are worth the new life you say you want. Anytime you find yourself in a block, come back to the beliefs and write the opposite feeling holding you back. It will not be easy; you will get uncomfortable; change does not happen overnight. But the results will be worth the struggles.

Remember, the goal is not perfection, but consistency. You might not like what you discover in these exercises, but this is your life, and there is no time for fucking around if you want to go all-in on and doing dope shit.

About the Author

George Kalantzis is a coach, writer, and dad, committed to helping people do dope shit in their lives. He is a seasoned Marine Corps combat veteran with over ten years of experience coping with high-pressure and constantly changing environments.

He writes about tough transitions at www.theartoftoughtransitions.com.

Categoriespsychology

Your Friends Are Primed To Be Unsupportive of Your Health Goals. Here’s Why

Today’s guest post from fitness/health coach, Alex McBrairty, will no doubt resonate with many people who read this site.

If you’re even remotely health/fitness conscious chances are, at some point in time, you’ve been the recipient of some shade (or even backlash) from friends and family members during your journey toward a healthier lifestyle.

They’ll often judge you or even sabotage your efforts.

What’s up with that? Shouldn’t it be obvious they’d be your closest source of support?

Not always.

Copyright: ilixe48 / 123RF Stock Photo

Your Friends Are Primed To Be Unsupportive of Your Health Goals. Here’s Why

Imagine this common scenario: You’ve made the decision to start a fitness plan. You know it’s going to require changing your eating and exercise habits. You’ve stocked healthy food in the house, you’ve been keeping to a regular workout routine, and you’re seeing noticeable changes.

Then your friends invite you out to eat with them.

You’re hesitant because you know it’ll be tough to stay on track, but you agree to go anyway. Once you arrive and sit down, your friends begin ordering cocktails.

You stick with water.

Then it begins.

You hear one of the following phrases:

“Come on, it’s just one night. Have fun with us!”

“You’re not as much fun since you’ve started this diet.”

“Are you on one of your health kicks again?”

via GIPHY

You roll your eyes because it’s hard enough to say no to your old habits, and they aren’t making it any easier. Your friends roll their eyes because you aren’t participating in your usual behaviors.

This is a common experience for anyone beginning to make healthy lifestyle changes, and yet it’s still surprising. What makes our friends and family, those people closest to us and who care about our wellbeing the most, the ones most likely to try and sabotage us?

Birds of a Feather

Humans are social creatures. We are drawn to be part of groups for our survival—whether our ancestors needed to join a village to ensure their safety against predators and enemies, or we, as teenagers, needed a group of friends to ensure surviving high school.

Being a part of a group is a hard-wired human trait.

Being part of a group also is more than just a mechanism for survival.

As it turns out, our social habits play a large role in shaping how we view ourselves and our place within the world. Our sense of self, or self-identity, is created based on all of the experiences, interests, and accomplishments we have throughout our lives.

What comes to mind when you describe yourself to others?

Or when others describe you to another person?

Those are likely the things that help craft your self-identity.

For example, a large part of my self-identity is fitness. I exercise every day and have built a career in the fitness industry as a coach.  I take a lot of interest in fitness, and it’s become a core part of my identity. Having a clear self-identity is important to help us navigate our place in the world. It helps us decide what activities to participate in and who to associate with.

Another large part of this self-identity is formed based on the social groups we join. Most often, people decide to join a social group because they believe themselves to be similar to the other members of the group. The friends who make up your social circle tend to be interested in the same things you are.

As members of groups with specific interests, behaviors and values, we reinforce or adopt these same qualities within ourselves. Our social identity, the part of our self-identity that we form based on the groups we join, helps us establish a large piece of who we are.

When our self-identity gets wrapped up in our social groups, we will also display what psychology researchers call “in-group favoritism”: we put our group above other groups.

This creates the “us vs. them” mentality frequently seen in social contexts.

One obvious example can be seen between two competing sports rivals. The fans of each team display a very clear “us vs. them” mentality in how they interact with one another: trash talking, disparaging comments, and clear dislike of the other team’s fans. This “us vs. them” mentality creates a shared bond between group members, signaling to everyone in the group that “you belong here.

By The Rules

Throughout our history of organizing into groups, we have always needed rules to ensure cooperation among members of the group. These rules reflect shared values and help establish a collective identity. Countries create formal rules by passing laws. We all have a sense of what it means to be American, just as citizens of Great Britain know what it means to be British.

These rules and shared values help us easily distinguish who are members of “our group” from those who are outsiders.

This isn’t just a quality of sovereign nations.

Groups of any size show evidence of this rule-setting behavior. Even your social network, your group of friends or your nuclear family, have established rules that group members are expected to follow.

In the case of your friend-group, you might have rules aimed at the types of clothes you wear or the types of activities you do together.

If my friends and I typically enjoy movies together, suggesting we go hiking would be wildly outside the boundary of what is expected. Similarly, during the holidays my family has a specific sequence of events that we follow. We eat dinner at a certain time, with much of the same traditional holiday food specific to my family.

Afterwards we open gifts, stopping halfway through for dessert. If I were to suggest we eat dessert immediately following dinner, or that we open gifts before dinner was ready, it would be violating the holiday rules my family has established.

Interestingly, within our social networks many of these group rules are implicit.

We don’t always consciously think about them. Usually, we adopt a certain way of behaving by observing how others act within the group. I don’t explicitly know that my friends don’t like hiking (maybe I do from prior experience), but I know not to ask because no one has shown interest in that before.

During the holidays, I don’t know how my family would react if I started opening gifts before dinner, because I’ve never seen anyone do it before. The absence of this behavior leads me to believe it’s probably not an appropriate thing to do.

These implicit group rules help reinforce the shared identity among group members. It also reinforces the difference between “in-group” members and “out-group” members. When I bring my girlfriend home for the first holiday, she doesn’t know what rules to follow and this makes it easy to identify her as an outsider of the family.

Every group that we’re a member of—country, state, social, professional, sports teams, etc.—has a specific set of rules that we adhere to in order to maintain our membership status.

Why Positive Change Gets Backlash

So back to the original question: Why do our friends and family not support our healthy lifestyle changes in a manner we expect?

These changes are good for us, after all, and as the people who care about us most, shouldn’t they be on board?

In some cases, we even find they are the ones sabotaging our progress!

It’s bad enough when we feel like our friends don’t support our goals. What’s even more peculiar is that we can often catch our friends giving praise and admiration to some other stranger, usually a celebrity or an acquaintance, for doing the exact same thing they just gave us grief about! Why are they quick to give a total stranger praise for doing the same thing they’re hassling us about?

via GIPHY

What’s happening is a unique psychological phenomenon called the “Black Sheep Effect.”

This refers to a group’s tendency to more favorably view unlikable outsiders than unlikable insiders.

Let’s think about this in the context of everything we’ve learned about groups so far.

We join groups (our friends) because it helps establish or reinforce a part of our identity. Then, we create rules within the group to reinforce and protect this identity, creating a clear distinction between people outside our group from those within. Then, as an individual we decide to make healthy lifestyle changes that ultimately change how we behave in social situations.

Now we’re likely violating the implicit group rules and threatening the identity of the group. This results in backlash from our friends because we’re changing our habits.

It should start to become clear why this is happening. Your social group doesn’t want you to fail or to remain unhealthy. Everyone in the group has been socially programmed to protect the identity of the group, and your new behaviors are threatening that.

This is where the backlash comes from.

To explain why your friends can give praise to a stranger for doing the exact thing you’re doing, look to the Black Sheep Effect. The stranger making healthy lifestyle changes is violating your group rules (as an outsider), while you’re also violating the group rules (as an insider).

Your friends favor the outsider who breaks the rules more than the insider because the outsider is expected to break the rules. Imagine having something stolen from you by a stranger. Now imagine having something stolen from you by a close friend.

This second scenario stings a little more.

The Solution

Knowing why this is happening is the first step, but we ultimately want to be able to do something about it. It doesn’t feel good to be ridiculed like that. The changes themselves are hard enough to deal with, let alone subtle or not-so-subtle sabotage from people who should care about your well-being.

The first thing you should do is to make your goals clearly known to your group members.

If you want to go a step further, ask them to help keep you accountable.

By making it clearly known why the changes are happening, it gives your friends an explanation for why you’re deviating from the normal behaviors of the group. Additionally, by asking them for help in holding you accountable to these changes, you’re reinforcing the implicit group rule to help fellow group members.

Here’s how this Jedi-mind-trick works: we feel compelled to help our friends, but if we help them break the group rules then we’re also breaking the group rules. Now we have to justify to ourselves why it’s OK that we break the group rules.

This is cognitive dissonance in action.

Cognitive dissonance is the state of having inconsistent thoughts, beliefs and behaviors. We don’t feel good when our beliefs and our behaviors are misaligned. For example, if we eat junk food while believing that we shouldn’t be eating junk food, this creates an uncomfortable mental state.

To resolve this issue, we typically either reduce the importance of our belief or justify our actions. In the case of junk food, we might convince ourselves that we “earned” it as a reward for something. In the context of recruiting our friends to help us break group norms, if they believe that breaking the group rules are bad, but their actions are to help you break those very rules (because they’re following the rule of being a good friend), then they need to resolve this inconsistency.

The most likely way they’ll resolve this is to convince themselves that breaking the group rules for healthy changes isn’t all that bad.

Now you’re a modern-day Obi-Wan.

Once you’ve recruited your friends to help you succeed in meeting your goals, the next step is to be very consistent in your new behaviors.

The reason you’re getting backlash is because your behaviors are new and different from what’s been established. However, the more you participate in these new behaviors, the more they become normalized.

When I first began my fitness journey, I got a lot of backlash for my new exercise habits and how I ordered food at restaurants. Now, however, my friends and family don’t even bat an eyelash when I disappear to work out or order a salad when we’re out to eat. It’s just become a normal part of who I am. The more you perform the new behaviors and make them visible to your friends, the more your friends will get used to this new version of you.

The more normal it all becomes.

Putting It All Together

We join groups out of human nature, we stay because they help define us, and we dislike when group rules are broken. Your friends give you a hard time because changing your lifestyle breaks the rules that probably contributed to connecting with these people in the first place.

Fortunately, this backlash isn’t a personal attack, but is the result of their identity being threatened by your new choices.

To overcome this backlash, recruit these friends to help you reach your goals and stay consistent in these new behaviors until they become your new normal. Then the backlash ends, your friends become more accepting, and your healthy behaviors become a part of your new identity.

About the Author

Alex McBrairty owns A-Team Fitness in Ann Arbor, Michigan. Obese as a child and teenager, he blends fitness and psychology to help his clients discover their own hidden potential. He has a bachelor’s degree in psychology from the University of Michigan and is certified by the National Academy of Sports Medicine. His articles have appeared in Breaking Muscle and The Personal Trainer Development Center, and he’s contributed to USA Today, Men’s Fitness, Prevention, and SparkPeople.com.
You can contact him at his website, Instagram, or on Facebook.
Categoriescoaching psychology

Building and Sustaining Resilience

Today’s guest post comes courtesy of Dr. Lisa Lewis (AKA my wife).

Earlier this year she released her Psych Skills for Fitness Professionals course which was designed to help fill a gap where many fitness professionals lack formal education: psychology, motivation, and the “softer skills” needed to coach effectively and help clients attain their goals.

I’ve long noted that what burns and stresses most coaches/trainers out isn’t the x’s and o’s of program design or breaking down someone’s squat technique…

…rather, it’s the ongoing attempts to maneuver around the dark recesses of our clients’ psychological needs (particularly when it comes to motivation).

Of more relevance, COVID-19 has really done a number on just about everyone’s life in 2020 and the importance of motivation, healthy habits, and resilience through stress and uncertainty has never been more apparent.

Lisa has just opened up enrollment for her course,  with a NEW, just-added module focusing on how fitness professionals can better build immunity to stress and uncertainty for themselves AND their clients/athletes.

If no foreplay is needed, you can dive right in HERE.

For a little more insight read below…

Copyright: deeaf / 123RF Stock Photo

Building & Sustaining Resilience

Worry.

Fear.

Crisis.

Stress.

Uncertainty.

In 2020, this sequence of emotions, and the resulting toll they take is familiar to us all. Whether your personal, professional, or financial life has been stressed, shaken, or stamped out by the pandemic, chances are you have been significantly impacted by closings, stay-at-home orders, and social-distancing mandates.

When we have a stressful day, most of us can cope well.

We may become flustered, negative, or pessimistic, but a trusted coping strategy can typically help us to recover and turn the page quickly, like dinner with friends, a big hug from a loved-one, a good training session, or a hot bath.

But when days turn into weeks, and weeks into months, we all need more than a good pump and steamy soak in the tub. We need skills that can help us to persist.

To maintain hope.

To help us access our strengths in the face of long term adversity.

via GIPHY

Starting in April and May of this year, I have been asked to contribute to articles and podcasts on “coping with the pandemic,” or “coping with stress,” or some similar topic.

As a psychologist, these requests and their resulting discussions and writings led me to explore the current literature on resilience, and this in turn focused my attention on the field of positive psychology.

Over the past 20 years, positive psychology has offered evidence-based recommendations for living well, coping effectively, and thriving (Peterson, 2006). The benefits of optimism, positive emotions, personal strengths, gratitude, meaning, healthy relationships and other optimal experiences in life have been examined, evaluated, and clearly identified as real, measurable, and worth-while.

This research, and the resulting recommendations for coping and living well offer a rich variety of skills that are relevant, important, and even essential in the current climate.

For example, as I read up on how to build and sustain resilience, I learned about “mental agility” from Karen Reivich (2002), who explains that we can learn and practice thinking flexibility and more effectively. Reivich states that by recognizing our tendencies to think in overly-rigid ways, intentionally changing direction, and carefully planning for negative outcomes, we can be more productive, efficient, and hardy in difficult situations.

Dr. Karen Reivich

The same way fitness professionals and enthusiasts can practice skills and drills for physical agility, so too can we work on mental agility.

If your thinking sometimes gets you stuck in negative, ruminative, unhelpful patterns of all-or-nothing, catastrophizing, or “poor me” thinking, then working on your mental agility could help you to think more objectively, effectively, and productively.

In addition to mental agility, challenging life events require us to not only work on our deficits, but also to draw on our strengths. In my work with patients, clients, and fitness professionals, I’ve found that most people gravitate toward addressing weaknesses, blindspots, or shortcomings in their thoughts and behaviors. However, understanding and leveraging the best of you is also a rich and potent source of resilience (Petersen & Seligman, 2004). Your personal character strengths can contribute to coping and even thriving in adversity  – especially now!

Whether they be optimism, diligence, spirituality, or a great sense of humor, the best of you has so much to offer in the face of the worst times in life.

 

View this post on Instagram

 

When you feel weak, remind yourself of your strengths. Life has a funny way of bringing out our weaknesses. This week I’ve been dealing with lots, and LOTS of technology. To say that techie stuff is a weakness for me would be an understatement! So the past two days have been beyond frustrating, and I’ve noticed the typical negative attitude and self-talk accompanying the screw-ups and error messages. Those thoughts and feelings are deflating and unhelpful. At the gym today, I noticed myself trying to fight off the negativity- but not very well. Then, after a set of these “elbows up” band press, I noticed my coach @tonygentilcore watching… “Your back looks strong!” So I thought, “I wanna see!” Seeing my shoulders and back reminded me of a strength – to work hard on my body and build myself up. That reminder helped to temper the frustration of the last few days. So instead of focusing (and over-focusing) on weaknesses, can you remind yourself of one of your strengths? It has way more to offer your thinking and emotional life!!

A post shared by Dr. Lisa Lewis (@drlewisconsulting) on

Do you know how to practice flexible, agile thinking?

Are you familiar with your character strengths? Do you appreciate them and harness them intentionally in the face of adversity?

This summer, I’ve designed a curriculum for developing and practicing these skills, and added them, for free, to my Psych Skills for Fitness Pros course. This curriculum has been included as a bonus module for students of Psych Skills for Fitness Pros, and covers the following content:

  1. An Introduction to Resilience
  2. Optimism
  3. Mental Agility
  4. Character Strengths
  5. Implementation and Practice

In addition, this bonus module includes an interview with Mike T. Nelson, Ph.D., who discusses the concept of anti-fragility, and it’s parallel to stress hardiness and resilience! Dr. Mike and I explore the physical and psychological benefits of anti-fragility, as well as how to promote anti-fragility with your clients.

All of this free content is an addition to the existing Psych Skills for Fitness Pros, Volume 1: Motivate and Facilitate Change. If you haven’t heard about the course before, you can learn more HERE.

Psych Skills for Fitness Pros offers not only a review of theory and research, but also real life applications for coaches in fitness, wellness, and nutrition. Here’s what a recent graduate of the program had to say about her experience in the course:

“Coaching is about so much more than exercise selection and macros. I’m always looking to get better at the psychological side of coaching so that I can help my clients actually make the changes they want to make.  Psych Skills for Fitness Pros was exactly what I needed.  It was not just theoretical, but practical. “Here are the theories and here’s how you can use them in your day to day work.” 

As a result of practicing the skills Lisa teaches I am better at meeting clients where they’re at with regards to motivation while helping them to develop along the motivation continuum and using motivational interviewing techniques such as helping clients work through their ambivalence. You will without a doubt be a better coach after taking this course.” 

– Kim Schlag

Personal Trainer and Nutrition Coach

kimschlagfitness.com

Resilience.

Optimism.

Mental Toughness.

Mental Agility.

Character Strength.

For the rest of 2020, and beyond, these skills and assets are what I hope you can draw from, lean on, and utilize to cope with the pandemic and all that it brings. But even more than that, I hope we can all develop more strength, agility, and skill as a result of having to cope with the pandemic. If we can endure this year, good – but if we can thrive and improve ourselves as a result of it, great!

Please read more about Psych Skills for Fitness Pros, Volume 1, HERE.

If you want to see more of my writing and approach to interlacing strength training and physical activity with mental skills and positive psychology, follow me on Instagram, HERE. If you want to learn more about positive psychology, mental agility, and/or character strengths, check out the fabulous content at the Positive Psychology Center at UPenn, HERE.

References

Peterson, C. & Seligman, M. (2004). Character Strengths and Virtues: A Handbook and Classification. Oxford University Press: NY.

Peterson, C. (2006). A Primer in Positive Psychology. Oxford University Press: NY.

Reivich, K. & Shatte, A. (2002). The Resilience Factor: 7 keys to finding your inner strength and overcoming life’s hurdles. Broadway Books: NY.

Categoriespsychology

The Law of Social Sabotage: Understanding the Reactions of People That Try to Hold Us Back From Being Healthy

Today’s guest post comes courtesy of TG.com regular, Justin Kompf.

  • Ever have a family member or friend give you flak for going out of your way to exercise?
  • How about for eating healthy?
  • What about for having pecs that can cut diamonds?1

In any case, it’s important to understand that when this happens it’s (rarely) because they’re judging you or attempting to make you feel bad on purpose. It’s often a result of other, internal factors on their end.

Great post from Justin today.

Also, I defy anyone to read the word “sabotage” and NOT immediately have the Beastie Boys’ song of the same title reverberate in their head.

“I can’t stand it, I know you planned it…”

Copyright: sir270 / 123RF Stock Photo

The Law of Self Sabotage

In 1686 Sir Isaac Newton introduced his three laws of motion in “Principia Mathematica Philosophiae Naturalis.” His third law states that for every action in nature there is an equal and opposite reaction.

Centuries later, and much less importantly, I was interviewed in a podcast and was asked what to do when attempts to be healthy are sabotaged (i.e. met with cruel remarks) by significant others.

Why, when we try to be healthy do other folks try to stop us?

I’m of the mind that their behaviors are often not malicious. Your desire to change and your behaviors cause an emotional reaction.

Behaviors are just behaviors, reactions and the extent to which someone reacts to your behaviors is a reflection of what that means to them within the context of everything else that is happening in their lives.

Let’s say your partner gets upset with you for something you did. Maybe you put your dishes in the sink and not the dishwasher. Their reaction should be a 1 out of 10 but instead it’s a 5 out of 10.

Note From TG: In the case of my household it would be a sleep on the couch out of 10.

Something else caused the elevated reaction. Perhaps it was the fact that they have asked you to not do this. Maybe they have had a really tough day at work or a fight with a family member. Either way, something else caused the elevated reaction.

So, if you eat a salad and that makes your partner upset, this is because something else is happening on their side of the equation.

Here is my law of social sabotage:

A behavior + it’s meaning to the other person =  reaction.

If for whatever reason I keyed someone’s car right in front of them, they should flip out. They should be pissed! They should have an elevated reaction.

Maybe they will yell at me. Maybe they will call the cops or punch me in the face. Their reaction will be based on what it means to them in the context of my bad behavior.

via GIPHY

Exercising should mean nothing to someone else. It is a completely neutral behavior. If someone makes snide remarks about you exercising it is because it makes them feel a certain way. Maybe it makes them feel insecure that they are not exercising.

What to do?

Be crystal clear in your conversation with that person. Tell them how their behaviors have an influence on you. Tell them why doing this is important to you and that you would like their support.

Tell them that their reactions to you trying to improve yourself hurt. Importantly, tell them that you would like to listen and hear why they are doing what they are doing.

Then actually do what you said you would do, listen!

Again, it is not your behavior that is the problem if you’re trying to be healthy, it’s how your behavior is making someone else feel.

Want to learn more about how to deal with things that can drain your motivation? Want to learn more about ways to harness motivation? This was an excerpt from Justin’s motivation eBook which you can download HERE.

About the Author

Justin Kompf is doctoral student studying exercise and health sciences. He is a personal trainer in Boston at CLIENTEL3.

You can follow Justin here and here.

(He’s obsessed with his girlfriend’s dog).

 

Categoriescoaching psychology

What People Need In a Time of Crisis: Leadership

Before you go a head and post your 47th bodyweight exercise of the week on IG or send out another free e-book to your followers, give today’s guest post by Jonny Pietrunti and Erica Suter a read.

NO!

Listen to me.

Read it.

Copyright: flynt / 123RF Stock Photo

What People Need in a Time of Crisis: Leadership

If you are a coach, you need to be leading right now. No one cares about how many fitness stories you are posting on Instagram. And I’m not talking about me not caring…your clients largely don’t need this either.

What people really need now is LEADERSHIP.

I’ve been telling you for years you needed to hone your leadership and you thought learning 7,428 different Dead Bug variations and counting reps was more important than learning motivation theory and actually communicating with human beings outside of sales calls.

You mad? Good. I have your attention.

Also: we have a pandemic.

For better or for worse, I’m still in the wellness industry. Though I’ve largely discontinued diet and exercise programming, I still own a massage therapy and bodywork studio, and I still do a fair amount of mindset coaching.

I’m also a Navy Chief Petty Officer, and that’s something that never leaves you. I was trained to lead through change and crisis, embrace adversity, and run toward fires when others were running away. I was trained to be responsible for my actions and those of the Sailors that were in my charge.

The thing is: even if you train for the worst case scenario, you never really know how you will react when it happens, and even if you have a plan for it, no plan ever survives first contact. That’s the reality of it.

When Coronavirus started to make the rounds – and later kick in the door to crash every party around the globe – I began to notice workouts in my social media feeds. This started off innocently at first, with many gyms and trainers powering through, as we really weren’t sure about the severity of this virus.

But this phenomena grew to the point where everywhere I turned, I was seeing this crap in my feed.

Everywhere. From, EVERYONE.

  • Home workout stories.
  • Garage workout Facebook Live.
  • Push your car workouts.
  • Push up “challenges” and “nomination” chain-letters.

And it continues unabated.

I would make a crude virus analogy, but now is not the time or place for that level of nihilistic snark.

This is all very Kubler-Ross.

Between my leadership and psych backgrounds, it seems like a preponderance of people in the fitness industry are stuck in the middle of the Bargaining Stage of grief. The reaching out, the rationalization, the “if only”.

Much of this is a manifestation of fear.

People aren’t crowding onto Instagram to pump out an array of home workouts solely because they think it will be useful.

Granted, I know plenty of trainers that have clients that legitimately need some workouts, but a lot of people are simply panicking because their way of life is completely uprooted. It’s a coping mechanism.

It’s nothing to be ashamed of, but it is something to be AWARE of.

People are terrified and are operating out of fear. You and I are susceptible to this, too. I’m not knocking this or even saying that these feelings of fear are things you should repress or deny. Those of you that are familiar with me or are in my Facebook group know that I hate “toxic positivity”.

The world is not all sunshine, rainbows or unicorns, and if there is at all a reason that your mindset sucks, it’s because gurus are trying to tell you to ignore all of the bad things that are happening…and you are listening.

The majority of people don’t need home workouts right now.

Think about this: there are millions of resources for workouts, for both in gym and at-home settings. There are millions of simple books that anyone could buy if they really wanted to get a decent calisthenics workout.

I was in the military for over a decade, what do you think we did on the grinder? What do you think we reverted to while deployed to austere locations?

I’m not saying this to gloat, but to prove a simple point: people aren’t coming to you as a coach for simple information like bodyweight workouts. Rather, they are coming to you for leadership and the transformation that you provide.

They are coming to you for COACHING, Coach.

Your primary job is to lead. If you are in a panic mode and are unable to step back and provide sound leadership and guidance to your clients, whether through text, skype, zoom, or email, then you have essentially had a major gap in your skillset revealed to you.

I’m not immune to this, either.

This was a time of reckoning for me. My massage studio for athletes is closed until god-knows-when, and when I took stock of my mindset coaching options, I realized that I have middle and high-ticket coaching options for people, but I DON’T have entry-level offerings for mindset and goal setting.

Not even a lousy eBook!

If you are in the business of coaching, training, programming…you are also in the business of leading. Period.

You cannot have one without the other.

If you are training without leadership, you are an overpaid, glorified rep counter.

If you are coaching without leadership, well, that’s actually not possible while simultaneously being effective.

Social media, specifically in the fitness and wellness industries, breeds the exact behavior that ISN’T needed right now.

FitPros, by and large, exhibit a ridiculous amount of attention seeking behavior. This is great for marketing – I mean, you need to have a certain amount of flash and “it” factor in order to stand out from the sea of carbon copies and make a living.

I’d be lying if I said I didn’t enjoy the process of content creation as a marketing tool.

But…

The problem is that this isn’t the time for “Look at Me! Look at Me! Look at Me!”

Now isn’t the time to bask in the limelight of being an “influencer.”

People aren’t going to feel safe and at ease by watching you do a workout.

People don’t need to be giving you attention.

You Need to be Giving THEM Attention

You need to be LISTENING. What are your clients saying? What do they really need? Are you hearing this? It is very easy for us to get caught up in the cacophonies in our own minds during times like these and completely disregard what others are saying.

Pay attention.

Listen.

You need to be EMPATHIZING.

Some people are getting hit with this harder than others. Some have lost jobs. Others have lost loved ones. Do you understand this? Or are you just waiting for the smoke to clear so you can get them back on their normal billing cycle?

You need to be setting an EXAMPLE.

Show people that you are concerned, and that you are taking it seriously. For my part, I have been very candid about the fact that I have certain anxiety about this, and I have been using this as a way to educate followers on the importance of mindset training so that fear does not paralyze you, but rather drives you to positive action.

You need to be LEADING.

Pure and simple.

Some people don’t realize that when they sign on to be a trainer, they are also signing on to be a leader. Hell, leadership was something I didn’t want initially, it just came with the territory of being in the military. But I rose to the occasion. It wasn’t about me. It was about people that depended on me.

It’s time for all of us to rise right now. We don’t have a choice. It’s game time and the stakes are simply too high.

Let’s Get This ‘Free’ Thing Out Of The Way

Hi all, Erica here now.

^^ Erica ^^

Thank you, Jonny for opening this piece.

Of course, there were so many mic drops above, that he could’ve just exited stage right, and I could’ve gone home with my take-out pizza and called it a day.

But yo.

He fired me up and I’m ready to light this fire further.

In fact, let it burn.

So.

First and foremost…

Just like New York, it’s bad here in Baltimore, MD.

People are breaking into people’s cars. Ambulance sirens are going off every minute. Helicopters are hovering over my house. Crime rates are rising. Crab cakes are running low.

It’s scary times, no doubt.

The last thing I want to discuss are personal finance and spending more money in the midst of a global crisis.

Oh! And how “free services” are real freaking stupid.

However, I feel it’s necessary to unpack what people need during this time.

To kick things off, in the past week, I’ve seen more fitness influencers offer free workouts and programs than ever before. People who have been quiet in the online space are now suspiciously bubbling to the surface, and screaming, ‘get my FREE bodyweight workout at-home eBook!’

Look. I get it. People are scared out of their minds, offering free stuff with the hopes of retaining (or getting new clients) when this all blows over.

Or, on the other end of the spectrum, they’re financially privileged and are already in a good position to blast out free stuff. It doesn’t harm them to send out free coaching to the masses, as they sit comfortably in their abode, with a glass of wine, their spouse, a wearable blanket, Netflix, and a fully stocked refrigerator.

It is what it is.

Whatever the reason – fear or privilege – the fitness industry continues to be infused with people who don’t view themselves as valuable professionals with something high level to offer.

If you’re scared and offering free services, you’re devaluing yourself.

If you’re privileged and offering free services, you’re also devaluing yourself.

OH, And PRIVILEGED WITH NO CONCERN TO PAY BILLS AND FEED YOUR KIDS.

It’s frustrating, to say the least.

Let’s go over this first: I don’t want to be inconsiderate of the handful of people this might be helping now. Your free stuff is benefiting some…maybe.

Chances are, though, if these people are struggling to make ends meet, pay rent, and pay credit card bills, as they homeschool their kids, and argue with their spouse about taking the trash out, the last thing they want to do is your 100 burpee, 100 air squat, 100 push-up free workout.

Instead of taking into account people’s emotional needs, they’re blasting out general, cookie cutter templates.

Moving on…

We’ve All Been Giving Free Stuff for Years, Anyway

This isn’t a novel concept.

At least, I’d hope.

Whether this has been through blogs, podcasts, email newsletters, Tweets or Instagram posts, or continuing education “office hours” we’ve been overdelivering the free content.

And then guess what? If your audience enjoys it, respects you, and wants more access to you as a professional, you tell them about your coaching services.

Not just any coaching, but quality, intensive, detailed coaching.

It’s hard to give this out for free, especially if people want to make it tremendously transformational and life changing.

With that said, I urge fitness professionals to sell away during this time.

For one, selling doesn’t have to be this greasy thing.

Two, selling during times of crisis isn’t out of integrity.

Three, there will always be people appreciative of your expertise and willing to invest in you and themselves.

For the past eight years, I’ve given out so much free content with a smile on my face.

And I’m going to say this right off the bat: I’m incredibly happy that this free content has been life changing for some, especially my most motivating and empowering articles HERE HERE and HERE. And not to mention, creating this content has truly been passion, in-my-flow work that doesn’t take the brain power it takes to solve backwards calculus equations.

To that end, customized programming to the athlete takes an immense amount of brain power. And for me, I’m so incredibly picky with how I coach and write workouts, and want to bring the juice, if not, overdeliver it. It takes energy, man. And admittedly, I lose sleep over it at night.

Too, the people who have seen the most sustainable change, the consistent habits, the daily routines, and the best results, have been my paying coaching clients. For years.

Let me backtrack before the “money is the root of all evil” crowd comes at me.

Last week, I offered a free email campaign to my email list. I sent out two at-home exercises a day from the kindness of my heart. I ran this campaign for 10 days, and initially, I was only going to do it for 5 days.

Not only did it take me 30 minutes to draft these emails in the midst of my most chaotic work schedule of 12+ hour days, it left me with a jarring outcome.

The open rate of my free workouts was immense. A boasting 600 opens.

On the other hand, the click rate on my exercises was disappointing. A meager 15 clicks.

OUT OF 600 OPENS.

That’s Pathetic, to Say the Least

Especially for a woman who truly wanted to provide and service people with some free stuff during a crisis.

The click rate on the free exercises started strong (I guess) with an average of 50 clicks, then 30, then 25, then 20, then 15…

Now this isn’t to discount the folks who actually did my workouts. Shout out to you! You rock. I appreciate you and I’m so proud of you for doing them.

But this begs the question to everyone else, what do the majority of you need during this time to stick to something meaningful? It sure isn’t a library of free workouts.

No.

Right now, humans need leadership and accountability – two things that empower you to stick with something for the long haul, and be inspired to take action on consistently. As Jonny mentioned, you need to feel safe and connected to another human in times of isolation.

And it shows in my private coaching groups. With my in-person and remote athletes, they are committing to a program as a community, with weekly check-ins, training sessions, added resources, personalized teaching videos, mental journaling habits, and accountability from group exercise video uploads.

People thrive on engagement within a community. The lazy, once-a-month check-in, or quick email blast, or free circuit on Facebook LIVE are not going to suffice.

People are in turmoil more than ever before, so high level coaching – from accountability, to motivation, to community, to meticulous programming, to technique teaching, to direction, to done-for-you-outsourced-work, to connection, are all needed.

Good old-fashioned leadership.

Transformational leadership to be exact.

I’m sure some of you are exclaiming now, ‘well no one needs more people selling right now!’

Listen, Bunky, selling is a service.

It’s a service to tell people what gems you will bring into their lives.

It’s a service to tell people how you’re going to help them maintain a routine.

It’s a service to tell people how you’re going to track and measure progress.

It’s a service to tell people how you’re going to weave them into an empowering community.

It’s a service to tell people how amazing you are to hang out with.

Selling. Is. A. Service.

Also, here’s your stimulus package for your crashing economy: PAY YOUR SERVICE PROVIDERS.

And surprise! Training is a service. Coaching is a service. Mentorship is a service. Programming is a service.

Pay.

These.

Professionals.

To take the conversation away from the fitness industry, would you not pay your hair stylist now?

Your accountant?

Your maid?

Your babysitter?

Your gas station?

Your Uber eats delivery man?

I digress…

Why do trainers work for free? It’s unprofessional.

And why do people expect we work for free? It’s disrespectful.

And why does the fitness industry laud that we work for free? It’s degrading.

Now more than ever, I’ve had to adapt so hard to be able to deliver for my athletes. Even in the online space, prices stayed the same, too.

Why would I drop them? Why would I offer for free?

It’s not like I became a bad coach overnight as soon as the apocalypse happened.

It’s not like I lost my Master’s Degree as soon as I went into quarantine.

It’s not like my strength coach certification disappeared as the toilet paper supply ran out.

I’m still the same coach, offering the same service, if not more quality than ever before. Virtual coaching has its way of pushing my creativity, channelling my infectious aurora through, as well as forcing me to sharper and more articulate with verbal cues.

Mind you, it’s a tremendous amount of work to deliver the passion through a glowing screen and ensure your clients feel your energy x one billion.

So it’s business as usual.

And then some…

I’m adding more value, more service, more energy than in person training – from extra Zoom calls, to articles, to private YouTube videos for my paying clients, to guest trainers, to customized training phone apps based on equipment access at home, to technique coaching Google Drive folders, to community with group messages, to mental coaching with accomplishment journals.

Truthfully, I’m happy to do so.

Yes, I go hard as an in-person coach, but I’m going even harder as a virtual coach, doing more than what is expected of me…multiplied times 100. Again, people need connection now, and better yet, personalized coaching videos.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LhlLfbhS6Xo

 

So I’m pointing at you, trainers, who are offering a free service. I ponder if you are working this much overtime?

I wonder if you are paying for advanced systems?

I wonder if you are writing painstaking, personalized programs?

I wonder if you are working 12+ hour days to go above and beyond for your clients?

I wonder…

Coming back to Jonny’s point, ‘if you are coaching without leadership, well, that’s actually not possible while simultaneously being effective.’

Be a leader.

People need you during this time, Coach.

Sure, some people you train may go through the motions and get by with free workouts thrown together on the web. And some people you train may be going through lay-offs and income cuts. Fine. This article isn’t for them.

This is for people who need connection, accountability, and leadership, and who can afford it, which is most of your clients right now.

In times of chaos, it’s a disservice to yourself and others if you play small and scared.

Play big.

Value yourself.

Rise above the noise.

But more critically, be a leader. 

About the Authors

Jonny Pietrunti is a former Navy Chief Petty Officer and the owner of Brooklyn Body Mechanic in Brooklyn, New York. He specializes in massage and bodywork for athletes as well as mindset coaching. He holds a BA in Applied Sport Psychology, is a Certified Strength and Conditioning Specialist (CSCS), and has numerous other letters after his name that no one cares about. In his spare time you can catch him rescuing pitbulls and playing video games.

Erica Suter is a certified strength and conditioning coach in Baltimore, Maryland as well as online for thousands of youth soccer players. She works with kids starting at the elementary level and going all the way up to the college level. She believes in long-term athletic development and the gradual progression of physical training for safe and effective results. She helps youth master the basics of balance, coordination, and stability, then ensures they blossom into powerful, fast and strong athletes when they’re older.

Follow Erica on Twitter and Instagram

Categoriespsychology

3 Psych Skills for Strength Training

Copyright: tonobalaguer / 123RF Stock Photo

Don’t Roll Your Eyes. This Stuff Works

It was a beautiful Fall day in Boston. My wife and I were walking home one night after running a few errands and she could sense I was a bit “off.”

I hadn’t spoken much, which, in of itself wasn’t unusual. But as we were crossing the street, infant in tow, her Spidey-sense psychotherapist intuition kicked in:

Her: “Okay, what’s on your mind?”

Me: “It sounds silly, but I’m nervous about my lift tomorrow. It’s THE day.”

Her: “The day?”

Me: “Yeah, I’m testing my deadlift tomorrow and making a go for 600 lbs. I’m just really nervous and anxious about tomorrow.”

[SIDE NOTE: The 600 lb deadlift had been a long-standing goal of mine and something that had been alluding me for a few years. I finally hired my own coach – Greg Robins of The Strength House – to take over my programming and it was time to test the fruits of my labor).

Her: “What are you nervous about?”

Me: “That I won’t hit it, that I won’t hit my goal. I’m nervous about failing.”

Her: “Have you worked hard?”

Me: “Yes.”

Her: “Have you followed your program?”

Me: “Yes.”

Her: “Have you hit all your reps leading up to this point?

Me: “Yes.”

Her: “Then what’s the problem? You’ve prepared. You’re ready. You’ve got this.”

Me: “I am so turned out right now. Let’s go make out.”

Okay, that last part didn’t happen.2

But what did happen was that my psychologist wife punched my proverbial negative self-thinking asshatedness in the mouth and I went to the gym the following day and did this:

3 Psych Skills for Strength Training

We’re often our own worst enemy. We humans have a knack for playing mental mind-games with ourselves that can ignite all sorts of clusterfuckery into the mix.

It can stagnate and impair progress.

It can suck.

My wife is the shit (<– I’m biased) and she’s awesome at what she does. A meathead and former high-level athlete herself she has a unique way of incorporating her expertise as a mental health therapist and applying it towards enhanced performance in the weight room.

I can attest that this stuff works.

Check out her latest article on T-Nation.com which goes into more detail  – HERE.

Categoriescoaching Program Design psychology

The Road to Recovery Is Paved With More Training

Today’s guest post comes courtesy of trainer, writer, and guy I hate because he is waaaaaaay too good looking, Michael Gregory.

Michael wrote an excellent post on nutrient timing for my site last year which you can check out HERE. He’s back again discussing an important topic: “reframing” injury and how to use (more) training to aid recovery.

Warning: Avengers: End Game spoilers ahead.

But come on: It’s been three weeks for crying out loud. If you haven’t seen it by now it’s your fault.

Copyright: javiindy / 123RF Stock Photo

The Road to Recovery Is Paved With More Training

Let’s talk about acute injuries in your clients: those accidents that leave a scar in the shape of a teddy bear.

“Oh! What a cute injury!”

Allow me to elaborate, for those of you who aren’t a fan of Dad jokes.

If you hurt yourself, the best recovery plan you can follow includes continuing to train and actually treating the injury as if it is less egregious than it may actually be.

I’m not suggesting that you act as if nothing happened, but I am suggesting that you only adjust your training as much as you have to in order to work around the pain.

As a coach, you aren’t a doctor, so don’t act like one. You are, however, in the chain of recovery, and may be the only fitness professional around when an injury first occurs.

Know your role Snoop Lion

How you react matters to your client more than you realize.

The Assumption Is You Know What You’re Doing

You’re a shit hot programmer that doesn’t plan anything your client isn’t ready for because you follow the principle of progressive overload.

One-rep maxes are not a spontaneous event that you perform when the sunset is a particularly auspicious color. They are planned for and prepared for, for weeks or even months in advance.

Because you program smartly, you know that any injury a client sustains under your care isn’t going to be a career ender.

It’s simply a kiss from the weightlifting gods that initiates them into the barbell illuminati.

If you train hard you will have battle wounds. That being the case, it’s time you learn how to get your clients past their injuries in the most economical way possible.

The Biopsychosocial Model of Pain for Acute Injuries

This framework comes from Dr. Austin Baraki over at Barbell Medicine. It applies on some level to every injury you or a client may sustain.

This entire process is about facilitating the best environment for healing. That means not freaking out and quitting, but rather, changing training only as much as is needed.

Step 1: Reassure AKA “Don’t freak out.”

Even if someone’s eye is hanging out of their skull, the best thing you can do is keep your cool. The power of positive thought is a hot topic these days.

There’s guys healing broken spines with just their minds, supposedly.

Even if those stories are only 10% accurate the power of the placebo effect is a wildy useful tool to have on your side. Keeping your cool and addressing unhelpful thoughts and fears are the first things you can to do to help your clients harness the effects of the placebo.

This is the psychosocial aspect of the model. It is the most important to get right the first time. Poisonous thoughts are really hard to uproot once they’ve been planted.

This whole step is the opposite of what my Junior Varsity football coach did to me and my relationship with the 2-plate bench press.

He told me I’d never be able to bench 225 with my long-ass arms unless I weighed 300+ pounds and the gravitational pull of the moon was twice its normal strength.

(Brief aside: Of course, the world’s weather and tidal patterns would be thrown into absolute chaos if all of a sudden the moon was twice as strong. So the joke’s on Coach J, because we’d all be dead before I could even make it to the gym. Try to remain calm after that sick burn.)

Regardless, I struggled for years with that negative reinforcement (nocebo effect) in my head. I could rep out 205 for sets of 5 but as soon as that second plate went on the bar “it was too heavy.”

Step 2: Assess the Situation

Like a good cub scout that just stumbled onto the remains of a deer that had been hit by a car, you’ve got to get your bearings.

Should you help it?

Put it out of its misery?

Add it to your Instagram story?

He already knows he messed up. Overreacting isn’t going to help the situation.

Start by asking the trainee what they were attempting and what they felt.

Remember, poker face: don’t let ‘em see you wince.

This is the first two “O’s” of the OODA loop, something that fighter pilots and military tacticians love to reference. Observe and Orient to the situation. (DA is Decide and Act, but you have to orient first).

No need to jump to any reactions here or start calling people lower life forms.

Be a professional.

Step 3: Move Forward by Reintroducing Movement in a Non-Threatening Context

Your special snowflake of a client is down, but not melted. You can still fix this and get them back to lifting heavy and kicking in doors faster than you can say “rubber baby buggy bumpers”.

Arnold said it first.

Your goal is to work your way backwards from the exercise that caused the injury in as short a distance as possible.

Start by asking these questions:

1st Question: Load. Is there a weight you can use that does not hurt?

If you can just reduce the weight of the exercise and the client no longer feels pain or discomfort then… do that.

If your client felt a “tweak” (technical term) in their mid-back while deadlifting, deadlift day isn’t over. Just take some weight off the bar. If it still hurts with 135, use the bar.

If it still hurts with the bar, use a PVC pipe.

The goal here is to show your client that the movement isn’t inherently dangerous at all weights.

2nd Question: Range of Motion. Where does it hurt?

If your client is still in pain conducting the movement with only their bodyweight, the next thing to adjust is range of motion.

In deadlifting, for example, if their pain is in the first two inches off the floor, elevate the bar until you are out of the danger zone.

No, this isn’t perfect form, for you deadlift sticklers out there, but your client isn’t going to be doing deadlifts from the rack or with the high handles on the trap bar forever. Pretty much as soon as you adjust the range of motion of a movement you should be planning for a progression to get the trainee back to the full movement.

If you haven’t seen it, consider this your warning.

Secondly, who the fudge decided what “full range of motion” is for any given exercise?

If your client isn’t a competitive lifter, it doesn’t actually matter.

I promise you won’t cause a rift in the space-time continuum resulting in an alternate timeline where Thanos succeeds in destroying half of all life in the universe and it stays that way. (Okay, that’s not really a spoiler so much as conjecture. Hey, spoiler warnings entice the reader to finish the article).

3rd Question (well, statement): Exercise Selection. If decreasing the weight and range of motion still results in pain, work your way backwards down the line of exercise specificity.

Only now should you be thinking about changing up the exercise entirely. This is assuming that you chose the initial exercise because it is the one which most completely trains you client to achieve their specified goal. If you just chose the exercise because it makes the vein in your biceps pop when you apply the Clarendon filter on Instagram I ask you the following question. How did you get this far in this article?

As an example, let’s say you were doing conventional deadlifts with your client. In my mind, the regression looks something like this:

  • Conventional deadlift
  • Snatch grip deadlift
  • Sumo deadlift
  • Straight leg deadlift
  • Romanian deadlift
  • Trap bar deadlifts
  • Rack pulls
  • Dumbbell deadlift variations
  • Single-leg DB deadlift variations
  • Single-arm DB deadlift variations
  • Single-arm single-leg DB deadlift variations
  • Good mornings
  • Cable pull-throughs
  • Hip thrusts

Okay, I digressed quite far there, but I think you get the point.

There are lots of exercises you can try with your client to teach them that they are not only not broken, but in fact still strong even with pain.

There is no excuse for the countless number of trainees doing leg presses and camping out on the stationary bike in the name of recovery.

Training is recovery.

It’s All Really Just Reassurance

This entire process of managing acute injuries is really just reassuring people that they aren’t fragile.

Some of our fellow humans, some of them your clients, have spent their entire lives avoiding pain at all costs. As a result, they’ve never had to learn how to overcome true adversity. By teaching this process to your clients, you are giving them the gift of self-reliance.

Resiliency is something most trainees are looking to build, mostly in the context of making their muscles more resilient. As far as I’m concerned, tenacity, fortitude, resilience, and mental toughness are all muscles. Each and every one of those is embedded in this process, and they are all made stronger every time someone learns to overcome something you or the barbell throws their way in the weightroom.

Does that tempt you to injure your clients on purpose now so that you can teach them about mental toughness?

Don’t do it.

But do be prepared to react calmly and with precision when accidents happen.

About the Author

Michael is a USMC veteran, strength coach, amateur surfer, and semi-professional mushroom connoisseur. As an intelligence officer and MCMAP instructor Michael spent the majority of his military career in the Pacific theater of operations.

He now lives in Bali where he writes, trains, and has had multiple near-death experiences in surf that is much too heavy for him.

For more by Michael check out his Instagram,  Facebook, or his website www.composurefitness.com.