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What a weekend. First, my girlfriend and I went to a house warming party in a swanky Boston suburb Saturday night and I actually didn’t want to kill myself. Yay me. Who knew rich people love to eat cheese and drink red wine while playing Nintendo Wii? High Five!

Second, I pitched a no-hitter Sunday in my over-30 adult baseball league. Granted I’m pitching against guys with mullets who haven’t seen their junk since 1998 because they have beer guts the size of Kansas, but whatever. I totally dominated and I’d like to thank my teammates for playing an awesome game.

Anyways, lets talk about fat loss and how beta oxidation can be sub-divided into HOLY SWEET MOTHER JAZZ HANDS………..why hello Jessica Simpson! Normally I’m not a fan of girls who have had sex with John Mayer, but how can I hate on someone who wears an awesome shirt like this?

Apparently the shirt pictured above caused quite a controversy last week with some people, not to mention made me realize how much I wish Tony Romo was me.

According to PETA, women who eat meat support animal abuse, steal food from starving children, and are fat.

“All the saturated fat and cholesterol in chicken wings, pork chops, and steak eventually leads to flabby thighs and love handles. I hope the upcoming “Jessica Simpson’s Intimates” line comes in plus sizes! Going vegetarian is the best way to get slim and stay that way.”

Hmmm, I thought the whole notion that “dietary fat makes you fat” has been debunked numerous times? While I won’t deny that it’s common knowledge among health professionals, as well as the general pubic that excessive consumption of saturated fat (animal based fats) poses greater health risks than unsaturated fat (think olive oil); to say that saturated fat/cholesterol alone will eventually lead to flabby thighs and love handles is a bit of a black/white statement.

I mean, take Dr. Jeff Volek’s latest book, The TNT Diet, which is based entirely off the research he and his colleagues at the University of Connecticut have done over the past several years concerning dietary (specifically saturated) fat. In short, saturated fat isn’t the enemy that it’s normally laid out to be.

Again, I realize that there are inherent health risks to excessive saturated fat and I’m not advocating that people go out of their way to include more in their diet. All I’m saying is that saturated fat is often stigmatized unfairly, when in fact there are several important benefits.

1. Saturated fat constitutes at least 50% of the cell membranes in our body, which gives them necessary stiffness and integrity. This in turn helps protect us from viruses and maintains a healthy immune system.

2. They play a vital role in the health of our bones. For calcium to be effectively incorporated into the skeletal structure, at least 50% of dietary fat should be saturated.

3. They are needed for the proper utilization of essential fatty acids. Elongated omega-3 fatty acids are better retained in the tissues when the diet is rich in saturated fats.

4. The Framingham Heart Study, started in 1948 and still on-going, is one of the biggest research projects on heart health. In 1992, study leader Dr William Castelli wrote in Archives of Internal Medicine: “In Frammingham, Massachusetts… the people who ate the most cholesterol, ate the most saturated fat, ate the most calories, weighed the least and were the most physically active.”

5. Saturated fats are commonly blamed for raising cholesterol levels. But they raise both the levels of good HDL cholesterol as well as the so-called “bad” LDL cholesterol.

Furthermore, in regards to dietary cholesterol- the liver produces far more cholesterol (up to 2000 milligrams per day) than most individuals would ever consume. Additionally, when dietary cholesterol intake increases, the body will automatically down regulate its own production. Conversely, when dietary intake decreases, the body will up regulate cholesterol synthesis. All in all, this supports the contention that dietary cholesterol generally has little impact on blood cholesterol levels.

I’m sorry but real women do eat meat. In fact, I’d go so far as to say that real women also know how to make a killer roast beef sandwich and understand that whenever Star Wars is on, that they need to use their “inside voice,” and only speak when spoken to. Who says I don’t understand women? Oh look, Episode IV is on. “Hun, can you go make me a sand……………….wait no, not the pepper spray again!!!!! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.”

I was flipping through the channels on my television over the weekend and happened to come across my favorite** show, Workout on Bravo. I wrote a brief review for the paper version of The Herald a few months ago, that I think twelve people read. To recap, I basically stated under normal circumstances, any show which depicts two chicks making out every episode should be nominated for the Nobel Peace Prize, but since the show basically makes me want to throw an ax into my groin, it kind of defeats the purpose.

**And by “favorite,” what I really mean is least favorite. ZING! I am so on point today.

Anyways, I was watching the show for all of about five minutes, when I thought to myself, “hey I don’t completely hate myself,” and went to Barnes and Nobles to hang out for a few hours. However, in the five minutes that I did watch the show, I noticed something that I see quite a bit in the fitness industry: trainers using cookie-cutter programs with their clients. Even worse, trainers having their clients perform exercises where they’re sitting the entire time.

It should be no secret that what works for one person may not work for the next. Unfortunately, a vast majority of trainers and coaches just don’t care or are too lazy to actually learn how to design their own training programs. Many will just regurgitate programs from fitness magazines or books they have read and apply them to every client they work with, regardless of training history, health history, or any consideration towards one’s weaknesses or postural/musculoskeletal imbalances that may exist.

The last point is what bugs me the most about many trainers– many have no clue when it comes to “corrective exercise” or how to apply it properly. I often see trainers take a client with a history of low back pain and put him/her on the leg press, thinking that it’s a safer alternative. When in fact, it’s probably the worst thing they could be doing with that particular individual.

Time could be better spent on any of the following:

1. Drills that teach the individual to dissociate their hips from their lumbar spine.

2. Drills that help improve thoracic and hip mobility.

3. Drills that help improve lumbar stability endurance, as well as help people re-establish basic motor learning skills (think planks, various rolling drills, etc). In the case of the latter (re-establishing basic motor skills), I highly recommend Gray Cook’s “Secrets of Primitive Patterns.” I’m just starting to include some of these drills with a few of my clients and have seen promising results.

4. Lots of single leg work, assuming they’re pain free.

5. Core stability exercises, such as the Pallof Press.

6. Additional glute activation drills. Two great articles to read are this one and this one.

7. Basic conditioning to help them shed some fat: sled pushes, med ball circuits, intervals on a low impact machine (elliptical, Arc trainer, etc).

I really like the Arc Trainer (pictured above) because it allows for a bit more hip flexion, which in turn will help people get a little more psoas recruitment. For those with chronic low back problems, this is huge.

Furthermore, if I were a trainer, why would I take someone who sits on the train to work, sits in front of a computer all day, and then sits on the train back home, and have them sit even more during their training session? It makes no sense! I had the pleasure of listening to Thomas Plummer speak a few weeks ago on why most trainers never make any money, and one of the biggest reasons was because (and I’m quoting him here), “single joint sitting on your a$$ training is dead. Clipboard cowboys/cowgirls are useless. GET YOUR CLIENTS UP AND GET THEM MOVING!!”

Here’s a video of a client of mine (Deb) who does in fact sit in front of a computer all day at work.

She did her overhead keg walks after performing some heavy cambered bar squats, a few sled pushes, and a medicine ball circuit. If I had her only do “stuff” where she was seated the entire time, she would probably stab me in the eye with a syringe full of rabies, and I would deserve it. Having her get up and move is a helluva lot more motivating (and fun) for her than just having her do some bland machine circuit where all I do is count her reps.

In the end, we as trainers need to get people moving, and we also need to write programs that are catered to them and their individual needs– not just some program printed off a website.

Q: I read your article on T-nation regarding trigger points and I was thoroughly impressed. I have had extreme pain in my left hip abductors (I group them together in part because I am not 100% certain which one is the culprit). I have been using a tennis ball and foam roller to attempt alleviation but the process seems very slow and I seem to have plateaued. Static stretching is extremely painful when applied directly to the TFL, yet I find very few trigger points on the TFL itself. I saw a physical therapist who helped me greatly, but given the cost of his service (and the fact that I can do virtually everything he did by myself), I no longer see him frequently. Do you have any other suggestions for me?

A: Wow, I can’t remember the last time someone was “thoroughly impressed” with anything that I did. Granted I spend my free time reading scripture to blind children, and helping old ladies bake chocolate chip cookies at the local nursing home- but I do those things for the sheer enjoyment it brings my heart. It has nothing to do with trying to impress the hot front desk girl we just hired here at the new facility. Nothing to do with that at all.

“Hey Ethel. ETHEL!!! Didn’t I say the recipe called for 17 chocolate chips per cookie and not 15? What? You couldn’t read the recipe because your glaucoma is acting up? Well, you just pulled landscaping duty this afternoon missy.” I love old people. They’re so cute.

To answer your question, postural alterations can occur as a result of alterations in the timing, sequence, and coordination leading to altered muscular recruitment patterns. Often postural corrections are difficult to make since there are underlying causes to these muscle imbalances including altered recruitment strategies. I think in your case, you may just be trying to resolve the symptoms (soft tissue wort on the TFL) and not really doing anything to resolve the actual problem (weak glute medius perhaps).

In his phenomenal book, “Form and Function: The Anatomy of Human Motion,” Evan Osar goes into great detail on many of the postural dysfunctions that people encounter and how to go about resolving them.

**Side note: to all those who are reading this and want a great resource on functional anatomy, but are a little too intimidated by those ginormous text books, I highly recommend this book.

Osar states:

“Inhibition and weakness of the prime mover will create a compensatory increase in the activity of the synergists. Chronic over-activity of the synergists will often cause the synergist muscles to become the dominant movers of the particular movement. The subsequent compensatory over-activation in which the synergist become the primary movers is known as synergistic dominance.”

The glute medius (pictured above) functions as the primary muscle of hip AB-duction and stabilizer of the pelvis during single leg stance. Unfortunately, many people have a weak glute medius due to a variety of factors- the biggest culprit of course, a prolonged sedentary posture. In short, we’re lazy and sit in front of our computers and televisions all day, and when we do actually go to the gym, we sit even more, plopping ourselves on the pec dec machine and stationary bike. Makes no sense, but that’s another blog post.

As Osar further notes:

“In response to the weakened glute medius, there is an increase in the activity of the TFL which takes over the role as the primary frontal plane stabilizer during single leg stance. The problem with this is the TFL is also a primary mover of internal rotation of the hip and has a significant response on the iliotibial band. If the TFL is allowed to function unopposed, it will pull the hip and lower extremity into internal rotation during single stance, causing ITB syndrome, patellar tracking issues, and a host of other postural dysfunction.”

So what can you do?

1. Perform more single leg movements. Please for the love of god stay off the leg press, leg extension, and leg curl machine. I love squats and deadlifts, but in your case, a healthy dose of single leg movements (reverse lunges, step-ups, single leg squats to a box, etc) would be in order since they will automatically force you to fire your glute medius to stabilize the pelvis.

2. Perform dedicated glute medius activation exercises. One of the most simple exercises would be X-band walks.

Key points to remember: Chest tall, shoulder blades down and together, knees out. Your knees should not cave in at all, and your hips should stay at a level plane (no hiking). I typically have clients perform two sets of 10-12 reps for each leg.

Another simple activation exercise would be the Bowler Squat, as popularized by Dr. Stuart McGill.

Standing on one leg, you simply lower yourself to the floor as if you were a bowler releasing the ball. It’s a bit more challenging than it looks. Simply “hike” the standing hip out and in order to return back to the neutral (starting position), you have to fire the glute medius. Also, try your best to maintain a neutral (straight) spine.

Lastly, my favorite (and most sexy) activation exercise is the side lying clam. And yes, that’s Nas playing in the background, bitches.

With this one, simply place a small resistance band above your knees. From there, place your lower body at a 90 degree angle and make sure that your spine is aligned in a straight line. Place your thumb on your glute medius (right above the hip joint, in the “divit”). Keeping your feet together, raise your knee high enough to the point where you “feel” the glute medius fire. Perform two sets of 8-10 reps on each side.

All in all, spend more time activating the glute medius using the drills above (one drill per day would suffice, you don’t need to do all three everyday), continue with the soft tissue work, and include more single leg work into your programming. That just may clear stuff up.

Actually worse. I don’t even know how to describe that throw. Oh wait, yes I do. Wait for it. Wait for it. Muhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha. To think that all these years I have worshiped you and you can’t even throw a baseball more than five feet! I’m so embarrassed. *Tears down Mariah Carey poster from 1995 off bedroom wall* You’re dead to me Mariah. You hear me? DEAD!

And what’s up with those mascots? Jesus. If I were a kid and one of those mascots approached me, I’d probably destroy the back of my pants.

And because I want you to come away with something useful today, here’s a bit of inspiration. This is a picture that was featured on ESPN this morning of eight year old Adam Bender, a Little League catcher with one leg.

Adam lost his left leg to cancer when he was one and while he tried a prosthesis, he didn’t like it, and he refuses to use a wheelchair.

Adam is just another kid playing ball, which is exactly how his parents want it. From Kentucky.com:

“I was a little hesitant when we first brought him up here for baseball,” Michelle said. “I thought his spirit might be crushed if he got out every time. Then I thought, who am I to micromanage his feelings? He’s going to have to learn how to deal with this stuff. The more I shelter him, the more he’ll think, ‘I’m fragile.’ I don’t think I’ll ever tell him he can’t do something.”

Note to all parents: think of the above quote the next time you feel the need to call the school to ban dodgeball because little Danny’s feelings get hurt.

In addition to playing catcher for his Little League team, Adam also plays soccer (on crutches), is the quarterback for his YMCA flag football team (no crutches while the team utilizes the shotgun snap), and participates in many other sports that any normal eight year old plays. The kid is my new hero.

So the next time you feel “too tired” to go to the gym or you have a headache and can’t fathom getting off the couch to train, think of Adam.