CategoriesUncategorized

We’re All Going to Die. Thanks Babe

Just wanted to share a really good article that Mike Boyle linked to on his blog the other day written by Dr. Mercola concerning the recent hoopla surrounding the Swine Flu.

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

Lets be honest, Dr. Mercola is technically bat shit crazy at times, and I don’t necessarily agree with a lot of things he often writes about. But I do have to admit that he’s great at filtering out the retarded and putting things into perspective. Which is to say, IT’S THE FREAKIN FLU people. While I do feel horrible that people have died, it’s not like this is Swine Cancer, Swine Ebola, or worse yet- Swine Paris Hilton.

It’s the flu. Every year roughly 36,000 people die from influenza, so it’s not like this is anything new. Besides, I’m willing to bet more people have vomited this morning watching The View than from the Swine Flu. True story. How come CNN doesn’t report that? Do I have to do all the work around here?

Nonetheless, check out the article. There are some parts that are a bit looney (mainly one of the theories that Swine Flu was industrially engineered by our government to boost pharmaceutical sales), but I do feel that it brings up many valid points that everyone should take the time to read. I’d be interested to hear your thoughts below.

CategoriesUncategorized

A Little Piece Inside of Me Died Today

I did leg curls for the first time in like two years today*. I blame Eric Cressey for giving me the day off, and thus, forcing me to train at a commercial gym. That is all.

UPDATE: I can’t figure out which is manlier- me doing leg curls or Jillian Michaels’ kankles. Discuss.

*And by “two years,” what I really mean is “one year.” Now excuse me while I go hand in my man ca
CategoriesUncategorized

I Watched a Movie on Friday Night That Didn’t Include Kate Beckinsale.

At the expense of sounding like a broken record (and keeping up with my current man-crush on Michael Pollan), I wanted to share with everyone a really good documentary I watched last week titled King Corn.*

For those who have been out of the loop, or possibly reading my blog for the first time today (Welcome!), I recently finished reading The Omnivore’s Dilemma (written by said man-crush mentioned above), and it’s really opened my eyes to just how atrocious our food industry is. Americans want cheap food, and that’s exactly what we’re getting.

Corn is in everything. To be honest, it’s rather disconcerting just how many things have corn (or it’s derivatives) included in their ingredients. Walk down the aisle of your local grocery store, and I can guarantee that 90% of the food you pick up has “corn” in it.

If you don’t believe me, the next time you’re in the store grab a random product. I’m willing to bet you’ll find several of the following listed:

  • High fructose corn syrup
  • corn flour
  • corn starch
  • buttcrack
  • corn gluten
  • dextrin/maltodextrin,
  • xanthan gum

And the list could go on and on. Compound all of this with the fact that the bulk of our beef is “tainted” due to the geniuses who decided it would be a great idea to feed cattle a predominantly corn-based diet (to fatten them up more quickly), and it’s no wonder we’ve seen the quality of our meats go down the tubes. Watch the documentary and you’ll realize just how FUBAR it is that we’re feeding cattle something they weren’t meant to eat in the first place.

Nevertheless, I’m a “realist,” and I don’t mean to come across as if corn is the anti-christ. I realize that King Corn had an agenda and only stated one side of the story; albeit it was a very convincing one. When all is said and done, I tend to always take the middle road and can filter out info from both sides of the spectrum. I mean, I’m sure there’s someone out there who claims that corn will cure irritable bowel syndrome or something. However, it is rather amazing just how oblivious we are when it comes to what we put down our pie-holes on a daily basis without even a second thought as to what the health ramifications could be down the road. I mean, it’s one thing to eat corn on the cob or even corn bread on occasion. Yet, something completely different when we guzzle down two liters of soda a daily basis and can find “corn” in relish!

*Thanks to Colleen for the recommendation.
CategoriesUncategorized

Miscellaneous Miscellany Monday (A Certain Someone Gets Engaged: Hint: Not me, Catch Phrases, and De-Load Weeks)

1. What an awesome weekend. FINALLY we had consecutive days of really nice weather in Boston, and you can bet that I took full advantage of that fact. Normally my weekends are spent singing hymns to old people and watching Hugh Grant movies. However, this weekend I had all sorts of fun “activities” planned.

  • Friday night a group of us got together to celebrate Eric Cressey’s engagement to his girlfriend of two years, Anna. I could be that guy and insert the obligatory “ball and chain” joke here, but I won’t do it. Instead, all I’ll say is that I couldn’t be happier for the two of them and that they better have lots of open space at their wedding reception, cause I’m totally busting out my robot on the dance floor. As well, I will also be challenging random people to Michael Jackson dance-offs if or when “Billie Jean” is played. Hint: it will be played. Oh yes, it will be played.
  • Saturday, a good friend of mine had an extra ticket to the Sox-Yankee game at Fenway. Besides that one time I built a volcano with my bare hands, It was pretty much the manliest afternoon, ever. I mean, when you combine baseball, beef jerky, and a 300 lb drunk Yankee fan sitting next to me getting berated by the Fenway crowd; it just doesn’t get much better than that.

2. A huge congratulations goes out to CP client Danny O’Connor who completely dominated his opponent’s face Saturday night at MGM Foxwoods to remain unbeaten in his professional boxing career (6-0, 2 KO’s). Danny’s a great kid who works his tail off, so stay tuned for big things to come.

3. It never ceases to amaze me the camaraderie that develops amongst the athletes who train at CP; not to mention their dedication. A great example would be Weston senior pitcher Sahil Bloom. Last week, he showed up to train a mere twenty minutes after having just thrown a complete game one-hitter. Not long afterwards, two players from the opposing team, Wayland seniors Alex Hill and Grant Nishioka, showed up to train as well. All three spent time joking and talking about the game and then trained together, offering each other spots and encouragement. Coincidentally, all three will be playing college ball in the Fall. Weird how that works.

4. I was in Trader Joe’s yesterday, and as I was leaving the checkout line, the clerk muttered, “stay focused.” Which got me thinking that I need a catch phrase too. I spent the better half of yesterday afternoon trying to come up with a few, and here’s what I’ve got thus far.

  • Wiggidy wiggidy check yoself, before you wreck yoself.
  • Have a nice day.

Or my favorite:

  • THIS. IS. SPARTA!!!!

5. One of the best pieces of advice I can give trainees is to know when to listen to their body and back off a bit. Using myself as an example, this past week was an absolutely atrocious week of training. Five weeks ago, I was able to perform 5×5 at 515 lbs on the trap bar deadlift. Last week, I struggled with 465 for three; and tweaked my back in the process.

Admitedly I’ve been amping up my training volume the past few weeks due to the nice weather, which just goes to show that fatigue will always mask fitness. This is a crucial point to remember, since the vast majority of trainees fail to recognize how controlling training stress will undoubtedly affect their overall progress. You aren’t going to set PR’s every week. As such, this is why we tend to include structured “de-load” weeks when designing programs for clients (typically every 4th or 5th week).

So, of course, the obvious thing for me to do is to tack on an un-scheduled training day (like I did yesterday) and wonder why my numbers are going down. I’m such an idiot.

6. I finished The Omnivore’s Dilemma last week, and I can’t say enough how much I enjoyed reading it. Regardless of whether or not you’re in the fitness/nutrition industry this book is applicable to everyone, because you know, we all eat food. If you think you have a good sense of where your food is coming from, you really need to give this book a read.

I’m still pissed that I had to pass on the opportunity to go listen to the author, Michael Pollan, speak at Tufts University a few weeks ago. In any case, I’m going to dive into his most recent book, In Defense of Food this week. I’ll let you know what I think.

CategoriesExercises You Should Be Doing

Exercises You Should Be Doing: The Rainbow Deadlift

Short and sweet today. Here’s one of my new favorite exercises. Not the most manly sounding exercise, I know. Unfortunately Kitten Tears Deadlift and Puppy Dog Kisses Deadlift were already taken.

What Is It: The Rainbow Deadlift

Who Did I Steal It From: Nick Tumminello (who coincidentally just released a really great dvd two weeks ago which I will be reviewing here in the near future). Trust me, you’ll love it.

What Does It Do: It kicks your ass, that’s what it does!

Key Coaching Cues: For those who don’t have access to a landmine (as shown in the video), you can certainly just set up a standard barbell in the corner somewhere. Or better yet, just set up shop in a powerrack or squat rack. Any reason to kick the douchehole’s doing their arm curls out of the way is cool with me.

  • As always, keep that chin tucked while maintaining a “tall” chest.
  • Shoulder blades should be retracted, and you should keep proper spinal alignment throughout (ie: no rounding).
  • You can do this exercise one of two ways. 1). For time, which if that’s the case, sets of 30 seconds will be more than enough. Or 2). my preferred method, sets/reps. I like to shoot for 3-4 sets of 5-6 reps per side.

CategoriesUncategorized

School Systems Are Smart

I was talking with my sister the other day, catching up on life, when we got on the topic of my six year old nephew, Zach. A few hours beforehand, I had noticed that my sister’s “status” on Facebook read “is sad for my little boy this morning about going back to school.”

Being the protective uncle that I am, my first thought was, “I will drive to Albany right now and go Billy Madison on someone’s ass.” No one bully’s my nephew. Note: video is bad quality, sorry.

Come to find out, it had nothing to do with him being bullied at school. Rather, it had everything to do with the fact that his teacher sucks donkey scrotum and has been pushing all year to “label” my nephew as having ADD (Attention Deficit Disorder). Being a certified teacher herself (in Special Education no less), my sister KNOWS the signs of ADD/ADHD, and recognizes that just because my nephew passes the plethora of “cognitive testing” with flying colors, doesn’t necessarily exclude him from being diagnosed with said learning disorders.

Nevertheless, in the teacher’s words, “Zach often loses focus and lacks discipline throughout the day.” Weird how that happens when you have a school system that only allots 15 minutes per day of recess, and only requires a minimum of three days per week of physical education (which I assume are 30-45 minutes each).

Great Galloping House of Gryffindor, I’m 32, and even I need more than 15 minutes of recess per day or I’m running around like a bat out of hell with scissors in my hands and eating paste for lunch. Seriously though, what six year old kid doesn’t “lose focus” at some point during the day? There are only so many times you can sing Old McDonald Had a Farm or listen to some old hag read I don’t know, The Bernstein Bears Go On a Picnic before you want to go off and do your own thing. Like make an epic Lincoln Log fort or practice your Crane kick on little Johnny’s grill.

Maybe it’s just me, but I think It’s a sad state of affairs that we have gone to such lengths to put biomotor learning/skill development/recreation (which helps promote BOTH) on the back-burner in our education system, and we then wonder why kids’ attention spans aren’t up-to-par. We have teachers and other school administration pushing psychologists to diagnose these kids with learning disabilities such as ADD/ADHD at a pace never seen before. Not to mention we’ve had to rename adult-onset diabetes to type-II diabetes, because we now have children as young as eight developing it. Of course, the obvious solution to the problem is to medicate these kids and/or place labels on them. Conversely, we could just you know, let them be kids, and allow them to go outside and play for more than 15 minutes a day. Just a thought. What do you think?

CategoriesUncategorized

Miscellaneous Miscellany Monday (4/20/09)

1. It’s Patriots Day here in the Boston area today. For those that don’t know what that entails, there’s this little thing called The Boston Marathon, and essentially, anyone who happens to be lucky enough to work in the city gets the day off. Which is to say, I’m not one of those lucky ones AND it’s yet another reason for the streets of Boston to be lined with drunk people. God save us all.

2. Speaking of the marathon, I just wanted to give a shout out to two of CP’s clients who will be running in it this morning; Stephanie Holland-Brodney and Aimee McGuire. Make the V-Club proud ladies!!!!

Coincidentally, Steph promised that this would be her last marathon (I’m not holding my breath because she’s said the same thing the past two years), but just case, I’m posting this picture as a gentle reminder that it IS public record now:

3. It never ceases to amaze me the lengths that people will go lose weight; running a marathon aside. LMAO. See what I just did there? In case you’re not picking up what I’m putting down, I’m basically saying that for many people (read: not all) training/running for a marathon isn’t going to be the panacea of weight loss they think it is. Get it? Get it? Jesus people. It’s called sarcasm*. You should try it sometime.

Anyways, check out this die-it. Freakin classic.

4. My friend Matt McGorry wrote a really good article about carb-cycling for t-nation.com last week. Check it out here. The best part however, was the last sentence:

So, if you’re on a quest for single-digit body fat, think about what you’ve done so far today. If you didn’t pack your own food before you left your house, how much do you really care about getting shredded?

5. Anna Faris is hot. I’d totally make her meals for her. Just sayin.

*NOTE: Except, I’m not being sarcastic.
CategoriesUncategorized

Muscletech Can Sell a Coatrack To a Moose

As a strength coach, my weeks are generally spent working with a variety of people with varying backgrounds and ability levels. On any given day I can be teaching a young athlete how to deadlift, working with a professional pitcher on his medicine ball drills, or helping a new client fix their lower back pain. Inevitably, however, discussions will also tend to lead to the topic of supplements.

What should I take?

How often should I take them?

What do you take?

Will “x-supplement” give me abz?

Is creatine steroids?

I’ve discussed my stance on supplements in the past, and while we do recommend a handful of them to our clients at CP, we generally take a minimalist approach. I mean lets be honest, I’m in the business of helping people get results, and I’d be remiss to say that certain supplements don’t have their place in regards to helping people recover, enhance performance, and/or make people of the opposite sex want to hang out with them.

Nevertheless, it’s always amusing when clients bring in certain supplements and ask our opinions on them. To their credit, we have smart clients, and when they bring something in, it’s usually something they got as a free sample and they just want to see what our reactions are going to be. More often than not, it’s something like this:

So the other night, CP’s longest tenured client (who’s getting ready for her 3rd Boston Marathon) walks in and says “Tony, I have something for you to look at. I ordered some stuff the other day, and they sent me a sample packet of this. What is it and what the heck does it do?”

I have to give Muscletech credit, they know how to market. I mean, how can you not want to try something that will give you the “World’s strongest vaso-anabolic psychoactive experience.” In supplement speak, I’m pretty sure that means you’ll cause an earthquake when you flex your pecs and/or you’ll be able to fly. Or maybe it just means you’ll end up with explosive diarrhea. I don’t know, it’s one of the two. *shrugs*

Flip to the back label and you’re bombarded with a myriad of ingredients (I lost count at 50) that sound more like the Periodic Table of Elements than anything else.

Better still, are the directions:

Directions: naNO Vapor is extremely powerful, so do yourself a favor. Start off by mixing 1 serving (1 scoop) with 4 oz. of cold water and downing it about 15 minutes before hitting the weights. Then, grab something heavy. As you develop respect for, and understand the power of naNO Vapor, you can gradually increase the dosage to 3 scoops mixed in 12 oz. cold water.

Due to the extreme reactivity of the naNO Vapor formula, make sure the container is stabilized for at least 10 to 15 seconds before opening the lid. Otherwise, vaporized particles invisible to the naked human eye may escape the confines of the container. Do not leave the container open for more than 30 seconds. Due to the unbridled power of naNO Vapor, make absolutely certain that you have read the entire label before using naNO Vapor. You must follow the directions provided.

What tha!?!?! Is NASA launching a rocket ship or something? Regardless, I’m sold! Now excuse me while I go nanomolecularize my vascular expanders. What ever that means.*

*nothing
CategoriesUncategorized

Tax Day-Fitness Related Edition

Like the majority of Americans today, I’m recovering from the manic depression that inevitably comes with paying our government 1/3 of my income. In fact, I’m so depressed about how much I owe “The Man” I may just stay at home today and watch an episode of One Tree Hill.

*45 minutes, and one pint of Ben and Jerry’s ice cream later*

Conclusion? Worst show about a hill. Ever.

Nevertheless, with this being tax day and all, I figured I’d brainstorm and conjure up some alternative reasons to tax people; albeit fitness related. I mean, if our local politicians (ahem, Mephistopheles State Representative Pam Richardson) can think of asinine ways to try to use our tax money (paying for illegal immigrants to vote, attain drivers licenses and apply for free tuition for example), I decided I could come up with some equally retarded reasons to tax people. Accept in my case, it’s perfectly logical.

Without any further ado, here’s my list. If any of the following pertains to you, payments can be made in the form of Kim Kardashian badonakadonk pics and/or Legos. Preferably pirate themed. Arrrrrrrrrrrrr.

Thou is Taxed If:

  • You are ever caught training a perfectly healthy client on a BOSU ball.
  • Your name is Tracy Anderson.
  • You’re friends with Tracy Anderson.
  • You’re ever in the same room as Tracy Anderson.
  • You ruin a perfectly awesome educational video like the one below by placing some random dude in it for no apparent reason other than to make me hate you. See 0:57.
  • You aren’t making some effort to work on tissue quality. Watch this video, get yourself a foam roller, and thank me later.
  • You’re the type of person who goes on and on about how much you hate cottage cheese/veggies/oatmeal/fruit/or anything remotely healthy. Suck it up and eat it. The sooner you realize that you need to stop eating for convenience, the better off you’ll be.
  • You squat in a Smith Machine. Worse still, if you’re a trainer and teach all your clients how to squat in a Smith Machine. Pure laziness in my opinion.
  • You end up being the douchehole who leaves a comment below saying that the Smith Machine is a viable piece of equipment and that you’re sick of people bashing it.
  • You aren’t taking your vitamin D.
  • You still believe there’s such a thing as “power” yoga. Riiiigggggghhhhttttttt.
  • You aren’t including at least some form of direct “core” training in your programming. Those who say all you need is to squat and/or deadlift are missing the boat entirely.
  • Speaking of programming, An additional tax will be instituted if you’re using accomodating resistance (ie: chains, bands) and you can’t even perform a body-weight reverse lunge without falling over.
  • You’re skipping breakfast. EPIC fail.
  • You never have time to train, but for some reason, you were able to watch last night’s episode of Dancing with the Stars.
  • You think that the Nintendo Wii is a viable form of exercise.

That’s all I can think of for now. I need to go lift heavy stuff. But feel free to add your two cents below…….

CategoriesUncategorized

Morning Cup of Vomiting In My Mouth II

As the title suggest, I’m bringing back a classic. I need to do this more often.

From Boston.com:

Two decades after revolutionizing women’s fitness with step aerobics*, Reebok has unveiled “Jukari Fit to Fly,” a new exercise program that the company is bringing to gyms worldwide. Through a partnership with entertainment company Cirque du Soleil, the Canton based company is attempting to create more fun in the gym and reclaim its reputation as the women’s fitness expert with an hour-long workout that includes a mix of cardio, strength training, balancing, and core training on a contraption known as the FlySet.

Wow. Just wow. I don’t really know what to say here. About the only thing Reebok is going to “revolutionize” with this FlySet contraption is reminding me how much those flying monkeys from The Wizard of Oz creeped me the f*** out, and gave me nightmares for two straight weeks when I was a kid.

Thanks a lot Reebok. *crawls into corner sucking thumb*

The equipment hangs from the ceiling and consists of a three-stranded rope with a 360-degree swivel point attached to a steel bar that strengthens and lengthens the body and creates the sensation of flying during the workout. Jukari comes from the Italian word “to play.”

That’s funny, in English, Jukari comes from the word “to have a sudden urge to want to throw myself in front of a train of retarded sauce.” How many gyms are going to allocate the funds to set this up? Seriously. Seems like it would be a rather expensive investment for something that I can almost guarantee will fizzle out in a matter of months, if not weeks. Not to mention this just reeks of torn rotator cuffs and ACL’s. Nothing against Cirque du Soleil (I’ve been to three shows and they’re all amazing), but they should stick to what they’re good at. Which is, making music I don’t understand, and having half naked women be half naked.

I’m so sick and tired of these companies trying to pawn off these gimmicky fads (it’s impossible to “lengthen” muscles. In regards to their origin/insertion points at least.) as something revolutionary for the fitness industry. Here’s a novel idea. Buy some barbells and dumbbells, and lift them. Repeatedly. I know, I just blew your mind right?

* hahahahahahahahaha. That’s like saying Britney Spears revolutionized good parenting. Swish, and one.