Everyone repeat after me: there is no such thing as an “upper” or “lower” abdominal region. Just like a good Dane Cook movie, it doesn’t exist. Oh, no I didn’t!?!11?!
Rather than rant and rave, I’ll just let someone a helluva lot smarter than myself crack open an egg of knowledge bombs (Dr. Stuart McGill):
“Myoelectric evidence, normalized and calibrated, suggests that there is no functional distinction between an “upper” and “lower” rectus abdominus in most people; in contrast, the obliques are regionally activated with upper and lower neuromuscular compartments as well as medial and lateral components. There are, however, some highly trained individuals who are able to create small differences in activation. Yet these differences are only at very low levels of activation and occur during what would be considered nonfunctional tasks, for example belly dancing.”
So please, the next time you hear some nimrod personal trainer explain how “x exercise” will target the upper/lower abs, do me a favor and ask yourself, “what would Tony do?”
A. Cordially invite said personal trainer to an open discussion on how retarded (s)he is.
B. Four words: pink dumbbell-to-face.
C. Don’t waste your breath, it’s a lost cause. (S)he probably also thinks muscle soreness is from lactic acid build-up. Or, I don’t know, thinks there’s such a thing as a trapezoid.
D. Who cares! Jennifer Love Hewitt is single again.
E. I think her and I have would have a lot in common.
F. I mean, we’re both single.
G. I like to lift heavy stuff (and watch Top Chef, which has to count for something).
1. I’m about five days into Project: Tony Gets Sexified, and all I have to say is that so far, I don’t hate life. Well that’s a lie, because yesterday I had to turn down what could only be described as the most appetizing carrot cake I have ever seen. The crew from CP was invited to brunch, and because I am a champ and have the will power of an ox (if that even make sense, whatever, I’m going with it), I limited myself to a chicken breast, two egg white omelets, and roughly 5.3 slices of bacon. Oh, and some fresh fruit. Okay, I hate life. But big props go out to Anna and myself for steering clear of the carrot cake. HIGH FIVE! And another high five goes out to me for ironing my own shirt beforehand.
Just to give a little snidbit into what my weeks looks like:
Mon: Throw, Lift heavy stuff, followed by 10-12 minutes of EST (Energy System Training).
Tues: Mobility/Med Ball/Throw, followed by 30 minutes of BRISK incline walking. Yeah, that’s right….incline walking. What’s up now bitches?
Wed: Intervals (25 minutes). Airdyne bike. And I’m gonna be honest here, this is NOT fun.
Thur: Throw, Lift heavy stuff
Fri: Mobility/Med Ball/Throw, followed by intervals (25 minutes)
Sat: Lift heavy stuff, followed by 10-12 minutes of EST (this also happens to be my higher calorie day).
Sun: Hang out at Starbucks, eat lots of dead animal flesh, write poetry, listen to classical music, play checkers with orphans, and draw pictures of Megan Fox on my etch-a-sketch (this should make up for last week Lance). I guess you could say I’m pretty talented.
2. A HUGE congratulations goes out to CP client, Bree Schaaf who qualified for the 2009 World Championship team after claiming the U.S Bobsled National Championship in Lake Placid, NY. We’re proud of you Bree! Check out Bree in action at CP here (scroll down to first video). Just goes to show that when you train your tail off, good things happen.
3. Since I’m apparently in the mood to give shout outs, I’d like to send a HUGE boooooooooooo to Oprah for admittedly “falling off the wagon” of healthy living, and as a result, ballooning up to 200 lbs (again). I have to give her credit – if there are two things that Oprah is good at, it’s recommending books that I’ll never read, and following atrocious dieting advice.
Listen, I’m not bagging on Oprah for gaining weight. Honestly, I don’t care. However, what I am bagging on is the fact that millions of women follow Oprah’s word like it’s the gospel, and I’m getting rather tired of her spewing out atrocious dieting advice and/or advocating diets (quick fixes) that are downright dangerous. Ie: starvation diets, liquid diets, etc. How is it possible that someone with the resources such as herself, follows some of the worst dieting/training advice I have ever seen? It boggles my mind.
4. Speaking of which, Leigh Peele has re-released an updated version of The Fat Loss Troubleshoot. I only wish that Oprah would do something as cool as give this product the notoriety it deserves. I don’t like to pimp too many products, but Leigh has gone out of her way to provide one of the most in-depth fat loss products out there. Most dieting manuals/books do nothing but attempt to put a band-aid over an open wound; with The Fat Loss Troubleshoot, you get a way of life. To steal from Alwyn Cosgrove (who always has a great way of putting things into perspective), “instead of describing a new method of fat loss, Leigh covers the principles of fat loss. Remember methods are many, principles are few. Methods may change, principles never do.”
5. Here’s Brian St. Pierre after day #1 on Warp Speed Fat Loss. All I have to say is hahahahahahahahahaahaahahaahahaahahaahaha.*
Notice the close proximity of the puke basket.
6. I like to make stuff up while I train; it keeps things interesting. As well, it seems I have an affinity for attempting exercises with ridiculously long names. Case in point: snatch grip speed pulls vs. chains from a deficit.
Not that I’m bragging or anything, but that’s 375 lbs at the top of the lift, which I’m pretty sure some girl in Asia does as a warm-up. Just sayin.
7. I had a little friendly debate with two of our female clients tonight. I mentioned to them that I’m willing to bet that there are more women out there who could complete a sub-four hour marathon than there are women who can perform three body weight pull-ups. So lets open this up to my audience. What do you think? Hint: I’m totally right.
Might as well start 2009 off with a bang, courtesy of one of the coolest e-mails I have ever received. I had to share this one with all of you.
So, I had to share my day at the gym with you because I know you love this kind of stuff.
After walking into the weight room and realizing I’d have to rearrange my days programming because apparently it was “bench day,” and there weren’t any free for me – natch – the only girl in there, I took a good look around… did I just walk onto the set of a bad 80s mafia movie?! Where did these guys come from?! One was shorter, and greasier than the next, and it seemed they all knew each other since most were hugging like it was a family reunion. But, THE best part was when this one dude walked up to these two young kids (not sure if they were with him or??) sporting the slightly cocked cap, black wife beater, and (oh yes!) the tribal tattoo that covered a good portion of his left shoulder and… wait for it… lifted his shirt to show them his abs! We are talking douche to the douchiest power! I think I may have laughed out loud.
I saw an ambulance pull up outside while I was doing my intervals, and secretly hoped he’d, I don’t know, crushed his larynx trying to bench too high or something. Unfortunately not, as I saw him walking out with his fur-lined hoodie on not too much later. It was then I realized the true meaning behind reading your blog… the learned hate. It was always in me, I just don’t try to hide it as much anymore.
I have four words for you random girl who e-mailed me: Will………….you…………marry………..me? You had me at douche to the douchiest power. I’ve never felt like this before. I really feel you and I may have a connection, that for all intents and purposes, could end up being something really special. Lets be honest, it’s not everyday that I meet a woman who shares my affinity for wanting to stab my own face off from all the asinine things I see or read about that go on at the commercial gym. I mean, just think of the possibilities. We could train together, maybe bully a personal trainer or two, then go home so you could make me a ham sandwich. It would be glorious! I guess what I’m trying to say is, I’d like to make an honest woman out of you. Do you like Star Wars?
I can only assume roughly twelve people are reading this blog today. I mean, it’s pretty much a foregone conclusion that everyone is either piss drunk right now and/or shoveling out their cars. Not to mention pretty much everyone takes the last two weeks of December off from work. It’s the American way. Helllllllllooooooo? Is there anybody out there?
Hmmm, what can I blog about today? I could write about how I ate so much homemade fudge while home for Christmas that I’m embarrassed to call myself a fitness professional. Or I could write about one of the worst movies I have ever seen.
Seven Pounds: saw this Christmas night with my brother and his girlfriend. Lets pass on the formalities, and just say that I could have taken a dump, on top of another dump, and that super pile of dump would have been more compelling than this movie. True story. And while I’m at it, since when is it acceptable to have Rosario Dawson in a movie and NOT show off her cleavage? FAIL FAIL FAIL FAIL FAIL FAIL FAIL FAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIL.
Or I could just elaborate on Project: Tony Gets Sexified that officially began today (I’m already 2.54% more sexy after plowing through 25 minutes of intervals on the Airdyne bike). And before everyone starts to assume that this is just some lame resolution to get into shape, back off son! No no, I’m doing this for a much more noble reason: to see whether or not I can attain the upper echelon of human aesthetics and performance. Which is to say, to get chicks. Obviously.
In all seriousness, I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again- I’m a realist during the Holidays. While I’d love to sit here and tell everyone that I’m a beacon of perfect eating, the fact is, there’s no way in hell I was going to pass up on my mom’s homemade peanut butter fudge. Or chocolate fudge for that matter. However, that’s not to say that I’m not like everyone else, and view New Year’s as a time to “tighten the reigns” so-to-speak.
I was catching up on some blog reading the other day, and came across a great post by Men’s Health Fitness Editor Adam Bornstein, where he briefly discussed some of the same sentiments I have towards this time of year. Mainly, that it’s perfectly fine to let loose a little bit during the Holidays, but to try to follow that up with some healthy New Year’s resolutions.
The thing is, when it comes to making New Year’s resolutions, I find that people tend to be too vague and not specific enough. Furthermore, there is rarely any form of accountability. That being said, let use myself as an example. Here are my goals for said project sexification mentioned above:
1. To go from lean (9-10% bodyfat) to ludicrous lean (6-7%). Essentially this is going to be more of a focus on body re-composition where I try to get as lean as possible without dropping too much body weight. Ideally, I’d like to NOT dip below 195 lbs (currently at 205).
2. As well, I’m going to structure things so that I don’t sacrifice too much strength. I think a major downfall of most (read: not all) fat loss specific programs are that they compromise strength. I think that sucks. AI also have to work around two knees that hate me with a passion, so that kind of throws a monkey wrench into things.
4. I’m giving myself six weeks (dieting for more than 6-8 weeks at a time is plain silly), and thankfully my good friend Jen Heath has been kind enough to write my diet for me. She’s assured me that I won’t hate life too much. We’ll see about that. If I end up in a knife fight with Chuck E. Cheese when he refuses to give me a slice of pizza on my low-carb day, it’s her fault.
Needless to say I hit off Trader Joe’s earlier in the week to stock up on all the food I’ll need, I cracked open my copy of Gourmet Nutrition for some great shake ideas, and my programming will be all set by the end of the day today. Can’t wait to get started.
And if you still haven’t caught on to the point I’m trying to make, let me break it down for you here. You can’t half ass it. Whether your goal is to lose some weight, increase your strength, start eating more veggies, or I don’t know, make out with Megan Fox, you need to set specific goals and set yourself up for success. Do what you have to do: mark calenders, ask a friend to join in, take progress pictures, hire a trainer, cook meals ahead of time, whatever. Don’t let 2009 be like any other year. Make this the year you follow through on your resolution(s).
On that note, have an awesome New Year’s, and thanks for all the support in 2008.
First things first, I thought all you New Englanders were tough. You call this past weekend a snow storm?????? Hahahahahahahahaahahahaahahahahaha. Please. Where I’m from, that was a dusting. And what’s the deal with people being asshats and shoveling out their cars, only to pile the snow in front of someone elses? If there’s ever a reason to drop kick someone in the lips, then that’s it.
Without any further ado, as promised, here’s part II of yesterday’s blog post.
6. I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again. Sometimes “stuff” just doesn’t look pretty when you’re lifting heavy shit. That’s NOT to say that we don’t stress proper form and technique with our clients and athletes at CP. However, we also realize that at times, there IS such a thing as over-coaching an athlete.
I often find it frustrating that many trainers get stuck on minutia, and will often use big words to make it sound like they know what they’re talking about. Without getting into too many specifics, lets just say that if more trainers spent their time focusing on getting their athletes stronger, and less time fretting about the fact that their right knee exhibited some slight valgus (caving in) on their heavy squats (GASP!!!!!!!!!!), I’d be less inclined to want to throw myself in front of a mack truck.
Just to be clear, I am not saying that you shouldn’t address the issue if it’s blatantly obvious that it may lead to injury. However, sometimes you just need to let the athlete do his/her thing and understand that it’s not always going to look pretty when they’re lifting more weight then you ever will.
7. I’ve been catching up on my Strengthcoach.com podcasts in the car and I’ve been picking up a few simple tips that I’ve been sharing with my clients. One such tip comes from nutritionist Amanda Carlson concerning hydration and just how important it really is. According to Carlson, some recent research shows that just a half a liter in deficit in water can cause an increase in stress hormones as well as cause you to feel hungry more often. Not exactly a great scenario when looking to keep the access lb’s at bay.
Additionally, from a performance standpoint, a two percent decrease in body weight (due to dehydration through sweating) can decrease performance upwards to 25%. Yowsa!
Just goes to show how important staying hydrated really is. And please, for the love of all that’s holy, put down the Vitamin Water. I’d rather you drink raw sewage than that crap (pun totally intended).
8. I’m always interested in getting feedback from my readers on what they would like to see me write about. So consider this your open forum to give me suggestions on articles you would like to see in 2009. Admittedly I’ve been a super slacker in the article writing department the past few months, and I’ve declared my New Year’s resolution to be an article writing whore in 2009. I’ve already made an article queue in my head, but other ideas would be welcome.
9.
Dear Hot Chick,
You’re hot.
Love,
Tony
PS: I cordially invite you to come squat at CP anytime you want (e-mail me for directions. [email protected]).
Writers Note: I started this blog post this morning, but then realized I had to shovel my car out, so I had to wait till later to finish it. Now I’m at work, and don’t have time to write down everything that I wanted to say, so here’s the abridged version (part II tomorrow, I promise).
1. I know I’ve been less than exemplary with my blog the past two weeks, but rest assured it’s with good reason. You see, between walking around Boston Common singing Christmas carols (with my shirt off) and helping old ladies shovel off their sidewalks (with my shirt off), I’ve had very little time to educate my readers on the finer points of beta fatty acid oxidation and such. Which is to say, does anyone really care what the hell beta fatty acid oxidation really is? NERD alert.
2. With the new year right around the corner, it’s inevitable that we’re going to be inundated with countless fat loss programs (with silly titles) by personal trainers looking to make a quick buck. First off, let me be clear, I am in no way opposed to people making money online. However, what I am opposed to are shitty programs with no rhyme or reason to them. I mean, take for example this program I came across the other day geared towards beginners looking to focus on fat loss. This is programmed as part of Day #1:
A1. T-Push-Ups: 15-20 reps
A2. Jump Squats: 15-20 reps
First off let me just state the obvious; this is stupid. Like Sarah Palin “I read all sorts of newspapers and magazines, don’t ya know?” stupid. The person who wrote this manual deserves to have his face smacked off his face. There is no way I would ever program this for anyone who is just starting out, let alone for someone who is overweight. Essentially what this program is going to do is set up its target audience to fail. The vast majority who attempt it won’t be able to tolerate the fatigue, and lets be honest, their form is going to be atrocious. I wouldn’t be surprised if 50% end up hurting themselves.
It just boggles my mind how irresponsible some trainers can be. It almost seems their main goal is to make people sore and/or puke, which is just insane The last thing you want to do to someone who is just starting out is to turn them off to exercise right off the bat. Come on trainers, you’re better than that. I think.
3. We do a ton of med ball work with our clients at Cressey Performance (especially with our baseball guys), and oftentimes I get asked what types of drills we have them do. One of our favorites is the Crow Hop into Overhead Throw seen below:
The key here is to pretend you’re throwing the ball at someone/something you really, really hate. In my case it could be anyone of the following: The Queen of England (just cause), snakes, Keanu Reeves, Megatron, people who budge in line, the boyfriend of the hot WB Mason sales girl that comes to the facility every few months (I don’t even know him, but I can only assume he’s a dork), and every person in one of those cheesy Old Navy holiday commercials.
Side note: It’s important to try to get “crow hops” onto BOTH legs when doing this exercise. Shoot for 4×4 on each side.
4. A bunch of the guys at CP are going to give Warp Speed Fat Loss* another go round starting in January, and I decided to hop on the “lets get shredded so girls will want to hang out with us” train as well.
My friend Jen Heath is going to write out my diet plan for me, and I’ll take care of my programming since I have to work around two knees that don’t like me at the moment. I’m aptly going to name this experiment, Project “Tony Gets Even More Sexified,” and I’ll definitely be doing a before/after blog post with updates in the middle. Should be fun.
And just an FYI, Warp Speed Fat Loss does NOT apply to my thoughts above on fat loss programs
5. Is it me, or is Jennifer Aniston getting hotter with age?
Seriously!!! She could appear in an ad for industrial strength penis shrinking cream, and I’d add it to my protein shake in a heartbeat. Scumptious!
With Christmas Eve right around the corner (no I haven’t started my shopping yet, I suck), I figured I’d help all my fellow procrastinators out there with a list of some of my favorite fitness/nutrition products that I often recommend. So whether you’re still stuck on what to ask for or can’t figure what to buy for your loved one, I’m here to help. And speaking of help, while I’d love to sit here and tell you that by clicking on the links below, you’d be helping to save orphaned baby seals, what you’re really doing is helping me pay off my student loans. Tis the season of giving. PS, I love you.*
Hands down, THE best dvd set released this year. Mike Robertson and Bill Hartman are essentially this generations version of Starsky and Hutch, only with less Carmen Electra and Amy Smart.
Topics covered include 21st Century Core Training, Creating a More Effective Assessment (this alone is worth the price), and Optimizing Upper Extremity Biomechanics to name a few. Sure you may be like me and feel like the dumbest person on earth after watching this series (Mike and Bill and really smart), but there is absolutely no question you will become a better trainer and/or strength coach.
Written by my good friend and “technically” my boss, Eric Cressey, this book has gotten thousands of people the results they never thought were possible. I’m a firm believer that if you train with performance in mind (and you don’t eat like a retard, ahem Oprah. Yep, I just went there and I’ll blog about this soon), that the aesthetics will follow. In other words, if you train to be a badass, not only will you be a helluva lot stronger, but you’ll actually want to have sex with lights on from time to time. It’s a win-win situation.
If more women read this book, the world would be a better place. Well that and I wouldn’t have the urge to shoot myself in the face nearly as often whenever I hear a woman mention that she doesn’t want to get “big and bulky” at the mere sight of a weight that’s more than five lbs.
Written by Lyle McDonald and geared towards a more “scientific crowd,” this book helps explains why stubborn fat is so, uh, stubborn. Yes, I’m a master at wordplay. It’s not easy folks. As McDonald explains,
“the problem of stubborn body fat (typically the abdominals/low back for men and hips and thighs for women) is one that lean dieters have been trying to deal with for decades. Various simple explanations (typically involving estrogen) have been offered but the results from these simple approaches have been, at best, poor. This is a place where simple is simply wrong.”
Undoubtedly one of the better books I have read this past year and highly recommended for those who just can’t seem to get rid of those extra few lbs of fat.
5. The “Secrets” Series-by Gray Cook, Lee Burton, and Brett Jones
If you’re a fitness professional, this is another “must have” dvd set in my opinion.
Secrets of Primitive Patterns: Learn why taking a step back and reverting back to the basics of human development is oftentimes the best approach in helping to fix faulty motor patterns which lead to faulty compensation patterns.
Secrets of the Shoulder: Your shoulder hurts? Well, it’s not JUST about strengthening the rotator cuff. Take note PT’s, all those band exercises you prescribe are just a piece of the puzzle.
Secrets of Core Training: The “core” isn’t just what you see on the cover of Men’s Health every month. It’s much more than that. Learn why and how the deadlift (and it’s many variations) is the key to a strong core.
Secrets of the Hip and Knee: Probably my favorite out of the entire series. Gray and Brett just affirm my belief that the hips are generally where a lot of shit happens; and the knee is often the joint that takes the brunt of it.
Those are some of my favorite products from the past year or so. Feel free to drop some more ideas in the comment section below.
I came across a story last week that got me fired up.
From Reuters Health: “Obese Have Right to TWO Airline Seats.”
“Obese people have the right to two seats for the price of one on flights within Canada, the Supreme Court of Canada ruled on Thursday.”
“The high court declined to hear an appeal by Canadian airlines of a decision by the Canadian Transportation Agency that people who are “functionally disabled by obesity” deserve to have two seats for one fare.”.
For the love of sugar free gummy bears, what the hell is going on here? The last thing we need is for the “functionally disabled by obesity” to think that they’re entitled to free shit. Before we know it they’re going to expect free gas for their cars (cars carrying more weight burn more gas, why should they be penalized?), free seconds at restaurants (heck they need to eat more, why should they have to spend more?), and discounted lap dances at the strip club (they um, have more lap to cover?)*.
Let me just say that I have nothing against the obese, but there are times where I feel that we as a society are just playing the role of enablers. I mean just the other day I was talking with one of our athletes, and he mentioned to me how his school is cutting down the required amount of days that students need to attend health/PE class from two days per week to once every six days! Even he found this to be absurd. And we wonder why we have an epidemic of childhood obesity and adult onset diabetes!?! When you think about it, we’re setting people up for failure right from the start.
On the other hand, while I can’t deny the role that society plays, I also feel that there has to be some degree of accountability here. I get so tired of people trying to pass things off as if they’re the victim; as if someone forced them to eat McDonald’s everyday for breakfast. Or that it’s my fault they haven’t been able to see their “boy down there part” while standing since 1994, and that somehow entitles them to make the rest of us feel like jerks for getting miffed about this. What gives? I don’t know, I understand it’s a fine line and it’s obviously a very debatable issue, but it just bothers me. What do you guys think?
*Speaking of lap dances, check out the trailer to Jessica Biel’s new movie, Jessica Biel Plays a Stripper So No One Really Cares About the TitlePowder Blue.
I love how they try to make the trailer seem like this is going to be some Oscar worthy, art house film with real feelings and emotion. The only thing that’s going to be Oscar worthy is the full frontal nudity. GET SOME!
PS: Did I mention that Jessica Biel plays a stripper?
1. When going through a simple movement screen with clients, one “test” that I like to do is to have them simply touch their toes (without bending their knees). For some (like myself), it’s easy. For others it’s a bit more arduous, and oftentimes they believe, falsely, the cause is hamstrings that are tighter than a camels ass in a sandstorm. WRONG. According to Gray Cook in his fantastic DVD Training the Backside of the Core, what these people typically lack is the ability to shift their weight and perform a proper hip hinge.
The reason their hamstrings feel tight is because they’re firing so that they don’t fall forward. If you’re a person who can touch his/her toes, to better understand, try performing the toe touch while leaning up against a wall. The wall will prevent you from being able to shift your weight, and thus you’ll “feel” your hamstrings fire. Simply put, we need to get out of the mindset of thinking about muscles and start thinking about patterns. Fix the pattern, and “stuff” generally clears up.
2. Just wanted to say thanks to all of my friends who treated me to a surprise birthday dinner last week which included an Optimus Prime cake. Awesomeness. And if you’re wondering, yes, I had a piece of it. And yes, it was glorious.
3. I often get a lot of requests in my t-nation training log to include more videos of mobility and/or dynamic flexibility drills that we have our clients do at Cressey Performance.
Exercise Name: Bent-Over T-Spine Rotation
Purpose: Thoracic spine mobility
Coaching Tips: Keeping a neutral spine, follow your palm as you “rotate” to one side, and then the other. All the motion should come from your mid-back, and NOT your lumbar spine.
Special Note: The exercise is apparently much more badass if you wear a ripped t-shirt while doing it.
4. I’m always telling people that in order to do well in this industry, you need to read and keep up with new information. Thing is, I started to realize I wasn’t following my own advice. Between helping to start a new business, moving, mending a broken heart (Jessica Alba got married…….DAMMIT), writing programs, and watching the new Harry Potter trailer repeatedly, I noticed I was spending less and less time reading
I have a 35-40 minute commute to and from work, so I figured it was about time that I start using technology to my advantage. Long story short, I started listening to The Strength Coach Podcast on my iPod, and all I have to say is that Anthony Renna does a fantastic job with it. Really great stuff.
Note to Anthony: if you’re ever looking to have an extra guest on the show, my chest is always available. My abs are as well. But only on Tuesdays.
5. Saturday night, Eric Cressey and I met up with a few of our pro-baseball guys for a guys night of eating copious amounts of meat at Fire & Ice in Harvard Square.
It was great. We all drove there in our tanks, hung our cowboy hats and chainsaws on the coat rack, and then sat down for the next two hours and ate dead animal flesh. About the only thing more manly would be if we each had a stripper on our lap feeding us beef jerky while Barry White was playing in the background. *light bulb goes off* I’m on it!!!!
6. Just a little FYI. If you’re the type of person who complains that you have a weak glute medius, yet struggles to deadlift 185 lbs for one rep……Newsflash: you’re weak everywhere. Stop worrying about minutia and start lifting some heavy stuff. Conversely if you’re someone who has been struggling to lose fat and never eat breakfast…….Newsflash: Tony throws an ax into his face.
7. As the years have passed, the more I realize that troubleshooting is the name of the game. For instance, for the past few weeks I have noticed that my strength levels just haven’t been up to par. I had been struggling to come up with a logical reason; that is until Eric brought up a good point the other day. Our pro-guys have started their throwing programs, and more often than not, Eric and I are the one who are throwing with them.
Additionally, I’m constantly loading/un-loading plates for kids and walking around the facility all day coaching, so it stands to reason I’m expending a lot of energy without even knowing it. In short, NEPA (Non-Exercise Physical Activity) is a bitch, and is something that more people need to be cognizant of in regards to whether or not they’re getting in enough calories to support their training. Just some food for thought.
Which begs the question; how am I going to get more calories?
1. Start making my homemade protein bars from Gourmet Nutrition again, and use them as snacks.
2. Add olive oil/flax oil to my protein shakes.
3. Tell my mom to start sending me some meatloaf.
4. Bump up my carbs on training days (particularly during breakfast).
5. Tell one of the interns that they have to buy me lunch everyday.
LMAO!!!!! Okay, you’re right. To say that a celebrity trainer is smart is like saying a donkey can do calculus. What was I thinking?
Answer: deciding whether or not the girl in the video is cute. I’m up in the air. On one hand that airbrushed picture of her at the end of the video did bring her from a 6 to like a 6.2. But on the other hand, she opened up her mouth. Dammit!!! Seriously though, was I the only one that wanted to stab myself in the face until I fell into coma with that nauseating playful banter of how “Nelly likes to show off his toned, ripped abs and grillz” dialog?
What’s worse is that because this is Nelly’s favorite ab exercise (which apparently means something, OMG!!!!), people are totally going to jump on the band wagon expecting that the worst ab exercise ever will elicit a slim waistline or six-pack. Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep (Tony goes into coma).
UPDATE (10 minutes later):*wakes up, turns on television* Amy Winehouse says the secret to a higher metabolism is crack. Well, if she says so…………….(beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep).
