Author: Tony

It’s been a while since I’ve done an “exercises you should be doing” segment, so I figured with all of our pro-baseball guys making their way back to the facility to start their off-season it would be prudent to delve into some of the exercises we incorporate as far as shoulder health is concerned.

It’s no surprise that many of our guys come in  pretty banged-up, and as such, a lot of what we do within the first 3-4 weeks is to help correct many of the (predictable) bumps, bruises, and muscular imbalances that tend to accumulate over a long competitive season.

Truth be told, though, we use many of these same drills with much of our general population/weekend warrior clients as well.  I mean, when all is said and done, developing a short/stiff pec minor, dominate upper traps and levator, not to mention weak upward rotators (lower traps, serratus anterior) – all of which lend themselves to a shoulder that’s not too happy – aren’t just a problems we see in baseball players.  We see them is basically everyone!

Compound the above with poor t-spine mobility and movement quality, and you’ve got youself a recipe for disaster.

Of course, not every shoulder is the same, and there are other “outside of the box” modalities that we can explore to help improve overall function.  One of the more interesting ones to consider is breathing patterns – which is something we’ve been looking more and more into since incorporating some of the PRI (Postural Restoration Institute) philosophy into our programming.

Without getting into the particulars – because honestly, at times, Klingon makes more sense to me – we tend to be chest breathers.  What I mean by this is that, more often that not, when asked to take a DEEP breath (or any breath for that matter), most people will end up inflating their chest.  As a result, the scalenes, levator, and upper traps become very “tonic” and nasty.

Moreover, as we continue to do this day in and day out, with upwards of 15,000-20,000 breaths per day, we tend to develop a left rib flair, which in turn, changes what’s known as our Zone of Apposition, which then throws a monkey wrench into things and affects how our diaphragm functions.

I’m getting a little a head of myself, but needless to say, just by making a concerted effort to work with one’s breathing patterns, we can make a profound effect on his or her shoulder function.  As an a side, it’s not uncommon for us to “find” 5-10 degrees of extra internal rotation in a right-handed pitcher just by focusing on breathing patterns alone for a few minutes.  I’m not gonna say it’s Jedi mind-trick territory, but it’s pretty close.

Anyhoo, like I said, I’m getting a head of myself.  For many people out there reading, it doesn’t have to be quite that in depth, and there are a lot of simple (albeit effective) exercises you can do that will undoubtedly help improve overall shoulder function, and keep you healthy in the long-term.

Namely I’m referring to forearm wall slides, which is an exercise that I covered in detail in Muscle Imbalanced Revealed – Upper Body (just sayin).

What Does It Do:  This is an excellent execise that works not only the scapular retractors, but also the lower traps which play a VERY important role in scapular upward rotation – which is kind of a big deal when talking about overhead athletes.  Not coincidentally, though, the lower traps tend to be woefully weak/inhibited in just about everyone.   Yes, this includes you.

Key Coaching Cues:  standing roughly 2-3 inches away from the wall, begin by pinching your shoulder blades together (scapular retraction……or, for the functional anatomy nerds out there, scapular adduction).  From there place your forearms flush against the wall and gradually “slide” them upwards.  The key here is to NOT use your upper traps and to focus on keeping the shoulder blades depressed.  Go as high as you can – again, without shrugging – and then return back to the starting position and repeat the same sequence for 8-10 reps.

To kick it up a notch, you can also perform forearm wall slides – to 135 degrees (scapular plane).

The set-up will be roughly the same, except here, you’ll slide your arms out to 135 degrees.  Goddamit what did I say about shrugging?????????  You never listen to me.

I’m sorry.  I didn’t mean to yell.  It’s just, it’s almost like I’m talking to a brick wall sometimes.

Anyways, once at the top, retract your shoulders back making sure NOT TO COMPENSATE WITH LUMBER EXTENSION!!!!!

As such, I like to cue people to squeeze their glutes while doing this variation to maintain more of a posterior pelvic tilt.

Return back to the starting position, and perform 8-10 repetitions.

Ideally, I’d probably use these as part of a general warm-up, but they’d also be money to use as a filler exercise between sets of squats or something.

Try them out today, and let me know what you think!

Note:  if nothing else, in case you skip the articles posted below (jerk), at least scroll down to the bottom because I need your help!

Seriously, do it.

Which Side Are You On? – Martin Rooney

If you’ve never had the opportunity to listen to Martin speek in person, then all I have to say is you’re missing out.  You’d be hard pressed to find anyone more charismatic, energenic, and downright passionate about his craft than Coach Rooney.  Similarily, his writing is just as powerful, and if you’re not going out of your way to read his blog, again, you’re missing out.

Subtle hints aside, here Martin junxaposes a parable about a king and his sick followers with today’s society and how those of use who go out of our way to eat healthy and exercise are seemingly “sick” as well.  It’s a short read.  Read it!  I promise you’ll thank me later.

I Used the Words “Poo Poo” In An Article and You Didn’t! – Lee Boyce

While the title alone is enough to make you want to click on it, it definitely is a bit misleading and doesn’t do it any justice.  Written by my boy Lee Boyce, this article serves as a wake-up call to the wide array of people out there who are thinking about hiring a trainer or coach to help them attain their fitness goals – whether it’s to lose some fat, add a little muscle, or just get your general sexificaton on.

Like any industry, the fitness industry isn’t devoid of its own quacks, frauds, and otherwise shady people.  Lee breaks it down and provides some sound advice on how to cut through the bullshit.

Ways To Make Yourself Sick – Adam Rees

**Interestingly, reading one page of Tracy Anderson’s Metamorphosis didn’t make the cut.  What the hell, Adam?

Adam is a successful trainer who lives in Iowa (bummer), who’s been an active supporter of my work for some time now.  He and I have conversed via email sporadically – talking shop and exchanging LOLs – and it’s only been recently that I’ve had the opportunity to finally peruse his blog.  It’s good.  It’s damn good!

The link above is just one example, of course; but if you’re looking for another blog to add to your “must read” list, than I’d highly recommend Adam’s.

And Lastly

A quick (HUGE) favor.  My cousin is the Director of Photography for Maxim (which, as we all know, is the coolest job outside of being a fighter pilot), and it wasn’t long ago where she sent me a quick email asking me my opinion on who I felt would make a better cover model:  Hope Solo or Yvonne Strahovski.  For visual learners, see below pictures respectively.

After a lot of contemplation – going through various algorithms and advance division – I went with Yvonne (which is weird, because I’m more of a brunette kind of guy, but whatever).  Anyways, I gave some feedback and didn’t think anything of it.  Low and behold, I was walking through a CVS the other day and happened to notice that this month’s issue of Maxim Magazine had none other than Yvonne on the cover.  What the what!?!?!??!!

Now, I’m not naive enough to believe that my input had any influence what-so-ever on who actually made the cover, but needless to say, you’re welcome America.

Long story short, I emailed my cousin and basically said, “well, if you’re taking more suggestions, what about so-and-so and what’s-her-face?”

She wrote back, “send me more……I need more names!”

With this information, I decided to take matters into my own hands and ask you, my loyal readers, readers who appreciate badonkadonks and hot chicks being hot, to help my cousin out and give her some suggestions.   

Again, we’re talking MAXIM FREAKING MAGAZINE HERE!!!!!!

Here’s the dealski, though:  She’s looking for suggestions on women who actually look like women!!!  As well, she’s looking for lesser known personalities – so you can save the Meghan Fox’s, Minka Kelly’s, and Angelina Jolie’s of the world.  Instead, lets show her that we can deliver and demonstrate that there are a whole host of actresses, models, athletes, etc that the world needs to see.  They still need to be recognizable and somewhat famous, of course (no porm stars, please); but maybe they’re less known or just on the brink of making a name for themselves.  As an example, my choice would be someone like actress Paula Patton (Precious, Mission Impossible IV, etc):

So, sound off peeps – this is your chance to really make a difference in the world. I smell a Nobel Prize in the midst.  Long live tonygentilcore.com!!!  I want at least 50 names before the end of the day.

My Case Against the Leg Press

Without much hesitation, I’d argue that there isn’t any one exercise in the fitness community that’s more hotly debated than the leg press.  On one side of the fence, you have those who are interested soley in aesthetics and really only care about gaining citizenship to Quadszillaville, USA.  And that’s cool….I get it.  More power to you.  I’d be remiss if I didn’t recognize that the leg press IS an excellent choice if your main goal is hypertrophy and building legs the size of Kansas. 

Too, and just as little aside, there’s also “some” efficacy for utilizing the leg press for those in a rehabilitation setting.  For instance, it’s not uncommon for physical therapists to program leg presses for those post-surgery in order to regain motor control and/or strength in the quadriceps in a more controlled setting. 

So before I continue on, let it be known that I, Tony Gentilcore, do solemnly swear that there IS a time and place to implement the leg press into someone’s program.  There, I said it……..happy?

Having said that, if we were to jump over to the other side of the fence – the side where yours truely hangs out – we’d find that there many people who deem the leg press as nothing more than an oversized coat rack.

Again, just to reiterate, I do recognize that there are extenuating circumstances where implementing the leg press is warranted and worthwhile.  It’s just that as a strength coach, and as someone who’s main objective is to help athletes perform better at his or her’s chosen sport, or help regular Joe’s and Jane’s not move like poop, I feel that those circumstances are few and far between.

Yes, I do realize that I’m lending myself up to public criticism for even bringing this topic up, and that’s okay.  Invariably there’s going to be an internet warrior or two who’s going to chime in and tell me how much I suck at life and otherwise go off on some tangent about how I don’t know what I’m talking about – all from the comfy confines of his their parent’s basement.   LOL – zing!!!

This is just MY opinion, and believe me, I’m not that much of a pompous ass to think I’m 100% correct in my line of thinking.  Just maybe more along the lines of 97%.

Okay, enough of the jibber-jabber.  Lets get it on!

Reason 1 (Because I Said So)

There aren’t many sports (or real life events for that matter) which ask for an individual to step into a contraption, slap 400 lbs on, sit down, and proceed to push said 400 lbs up and down an incline at 45 degrees using what mounts to a eight inch range of motion.

Valid point.  I’m picking up what you’re putting down.

Conversely, with squats, the body itself has to provide the INTERNAL stability to perform the movement correctly so as not to tip over, fall on your face, get stapled by the bar, etc.  Here, pretty much every muscle in the body is engaging and playing a role in the movement.  Everything from the small, intrinsic muscles at the bottom of our feet to everything up the kinetic chain (glutes, hammies, quads, erectors, core, upper back, you name it) – all are firing like crazy to get the job done.

And that’s why I feel squats have MUCH MORE carryover to sport and real life events compared to the leg press – just by the mere fact that you actually have to, you know, work harder to complete the task.

Reason 2 (Because One of the Smartest Men On the Planet Says So)

While many will state that the leg press is a safer alternative to squat variations, I will counter that argument by quoting Dr. Stuart McGill, who in his book Low Back Disorders, states:

“the leg press sometimes causes the pelvis to rotate away from the back rest when the weight is lowered. The resultant lumbar flexion produces herniating conditions for the disc!”

Translation: your back hates you.

Of course, when ANY exercise is done haphazardly it can result in injury – squats included.  But ,why anyone would want to go out of their way to reinforce a faulty motor pattern that will more than likely end up promoting disc herniations is beyond me.  It makes about as much sense as Tom Selleck shaving off his mustache.

Personally I’m not a big fan of mustaches. However, while I can’t really back this up with any recent scientific data, I’m pretty sure I read somewhere that global warming can be attributed solely to the effects Tom Sellecks’s mustache has on women.  Either way, no man should ever give up that kind of power. Ever.

See what I just did there?  I just equated leg presses to Tom Selleck’s mustache.  If that doesn’t impress you, I don’t know what will.

Getting back to the topic at hand:  Am I saying that if you perform leg presses, you’re going to herniate your disc(s)?  No.  But when the world’s ninja of low back research says that leg presses aren’t necessarily a great idea due to the fact that, more often than not, they produce the mechanism for disc herniation, I’m going to listen to him.

Reason 3 (No, Really, They’re a Waste of Space)

Granted, this is the small business owner in me speaking, but from a cost-benefit standpoint, leg press vs. squats is a no-brainer.   Looking at the picture above, can someone tell me how in the heck something the size of a small car can be of any value?

For the same amount of money that it would cost to buy a ginormous leg press (which will take up a lot of space, mind you), we could probably buy two power racks.  Additionally, with the leg press, you can’t really do much more with it than well, leg press.  More to the point, with a power rack, I can have upwards of two to three athletes using it at once, and I can get A LOT more use out of it – squats, rack pulls, single leg variations, pull-up variations, push-ups off the pins, not to mention I can also hang a TRX off it as well.  Really, the possibilities are endless.

From a cost-benefit standpoint, it’s not even close.

So What Now?

Well, I’m going to go pack my meals for the day and head to the facility to lift heavy things.  But, I hope that my off the cuff post was able to shed some light on why I’m not a huge fan of leg presses.  Understandably, I realize this post is going to rub some people the wrong way, and it’s going to come across as me bashing the leg press.  Well, I kinda am bashing it – my bad.  The world will go on, I promise you.

That said, I’d be curious to hear everyone else’s opinion on this.  Sound off below…..

When it comes to keeping the shoulder healthy (and thus, athletes on the playing field) there are a whole host of things to consider:

• Making sure one has ample t-spine mobility.

• Is glenohumeral strength up to snuff?

• What about scapular stability?  For many, it stinks, and they’re essentially shooting a cannon from a canoe.

• Are they making my eyes bleed when I watch them perform a push-up?  (Ie – elbows flared out, forward head posture, neck in cervical extension).

• What about general programming parameters?  Are they doing too much pressing as opposed to pulling?  Are they doing a lot of back squatting (which lends itself to placing the shoulder in the “at risk” position)?  Is it “suitable” for them to even attempt to perform any overhead pressing?

• And, least we forget other things like acromion type, soft tissue restrictions, as well as breathing patterns.  ALL will undoubtedly come into play insofar as the shoulder is concerned.

In consideration to the points above, many (if not all) trainees will at some point or another enter what is known as “shoulder prehab” mode.  Others reading may call it something different:  shoulder rehab, shoulder prehab, preventative maintenance (I like this one),  “I have an ouchie and I want to fix it,” so on and so forth.  The point is, the shoulder is arguably the most beat up joint on the human body, and, as such, we’re always trying to figure out ways to prevent that from happening in the first place.

This is especially true with the population we deal with at Cressey Performance, which, coincidentally enough, is about 80% baseball players.  But, just so we’re clear:  the advice I’m going to lay out below applies to EVERYONE reading whether or not you throw a baseball for a living.

I’m not going to go into detail on every nook and cranny of shoulder health here – as that would make for A LOT of typing – but suffice it to say, one common mistake that I see many of our high school, college, and even professional guys make is thinking that the rotator cuff needs to be trained to fatigue or failure.

In a word:  OMGPLEASESTOPDOINGTHISBECAUSEITSDUMB!!!!!!

The above couldn’t be further from the truth.  And, as Mike Reinold has noted on numerous occasions, training the rotator cuff to fatigue increases superior humeral head migration.   Put another way, when the rotator cuff is fatigued, the humeral head will shift superiorly towards the acromion process, effectively increasing the likelihood of shoulder impingement.  So, contrary to popular belief, all of those 50-100 rep sets of band or side lying DB external rotations you’re doing to keep your shoulder “healthy” isn’t doing your shoulder any favors.  In fact, you could be doing more harm than good.

Now, this isn’t to say that band work or side lying external rotations are necessarily bad exercises!  Far from it.  In fact, side lying external rotations (with the arm abducted slightly) have been shown to have the greatest EMG actvation of the rotator cuff – when done correctly.

All I’m saying is that you don’t need to go all powerlifter like a nd start doing max effort rotator cuff work, or worse, training the RC to failure.  While I can appreciate people wanting to work hard and push their body to the limits, training the RC in this fashion isn’t productive, and shouldn’t be high on your list. No, seriously, stop it.

Better yet, do yourself a favor and check out Muscle Imbalances Revealed – Upper Body (wink wink, nudge nudge).  There, I go into A LOT greater detail on this and other shoulder shenanigans.  Plus, you can actually hear my voice, which, you know, is incentive enough.  Not really, but whatever.

 

 

As someone who has an avid disdain for Planet Fitness and everything they represent (from their idiotic lunk alarm, the “judgement free” policy they claim to follow, and of course, free pizza day….WTF!!!!), the following piece – which was featured on The Daily Show earlier last week – really hits the nail on the head with regards to showcasing just how much that place bites the big one. 

Ironically, Planet Fitness is about as judgemental as judgemental gets – rolling their eyes at anyone who has the audacity to get their heart rate above that of a corpse, or worse, lifting something heavier than 50 lbs.  How dare you?  What’s next – actually improving your health?

And really, when you think about it, Planet Fitness shouldn’t even call themselves Planet FITNESS in the first place –  since no one is allowed to exert themselves, let alone break a sweat.  Rather, to me at least, it’s more of a community center where people can get together, give each other high fives for walking a mile in less than 20 minutes, play some BINGO, and maybe knit a sweater or two.

Whatever.  Who am I to judge?  Wait, I just did!  LOL.  See what I just did there?  I flipped it on them!  I love America.

Nevertheless, enjoy the video – it’s priceless.

CLICK ME (that tickles)

Note:  sorry, for some reason the video wouldn’t embed so you’ll have to click on the link which will take you to The Daily Show’s site.

1.  Like many of you reading I’m constantly on the go, and between writing in the morning, coaching in the afternoon, and fighting crime in the evening, sometimes, I just don’t have the time to cook or prepare a decent meal.  To that end, it’s not uncommon for me to resort to eating protein bars on a daily basis.  Not all the time, of course – but when I’m in a pinch, they certainly come in handy.  Two brands that I have been crushing lately are Larabar and the new Promax Energy Bars.

To be blunt, Larabar’s are the shit.  Unlike many of the highly processed “gunk-y” bars to chose from that end up tasting like sandpaper dipped in fart, Larabars are completely (okay, mostly) natural and only contain upwards of 3-5 ingredients, which is definitely something that appeals to me.

And, while not quite as “natural” compared to Larabar, the new Promax Energy Bars are a step above most namely because they’re one of the few “mainstream” bars that use Stevia instead of all those nasty articifical sweetners.  I had a few samples sent to me a few weeks ago, I pretty much devoured them within a few days

Again, REAL food is definitely the way to go, but if you’re in a pinch and need something quick to tide you over, these are definitely legit options.

2.  And since I’m on a food kick at the moment, I want to direct everyone’s attention to a site which I have referenced before in the past:  carascravings.com.

Cara is a client of CP – so she likes to lift heavy things, which should give her some crediability right off the bat.  But even more important is that Cara is obsessed with cooking food.  More specifically, she obsessed with cooking delicious, HEALTHY food.

Moroccan Chickean with Chickpeas, Dates and Raisins?  Check

Paleo Friendly Granola?  To diiiiiiiiiiiiie for.

What’s more is that she’ll break down the macronutrient profile of EVERY recipe she makes, which is something that, I feel, seperates her from the masses. 

Give it a look, I promise you won’t regret it.

3.  So remember that movie Food Inc, and how it pretty much opened people’s eyes to the shadiness of the food industry here in America?  Well, another documentary, in much the same way, is starting to create some buzz and is starting to gain national exposure:  Farmageddon.

It’s playing here in Boston this week, and I’ve already bought my tickets to see it tomorrow.  I don’t know, something tells me I’m going to walk away very angry and have to resist the urge to perpetually stab myself in the cornea after watching it.  I’ll keep you posted……

4.  Speaking of awesome:  I took Lisa out to the movies on Saturday night, and we went and saw Drive.

Hoooooooooooooooly gratuitous violence Batman.  First off, the opening sequence pretty much sucks you in right away.  Second off, Ryan Gosling is just dreamy.  Third off, it has like three or four legit car chases.  And fourth off, it shows boobies.  Yep, I smell Oscar bait.

Okay, not really.  But don’t be turned off by my less than exemplary description: this is a VERY well made movie.  The director, Nicolas Winding Refn, who’s first feature, Bronson, won him a cult following, knows how to make dark, visually stunning movies – and this one is no different.

A word of caution, though, if you’re not a fan of graphic violence (and by graphic I mean someone getting their face beat it), then I’d probably steer clear.  If, on the other hand, watching people get stabbed in the throat is your kind of thing, then by all means, go for it.  Just remind your lady friend that, despite being a Ryan Gosling movie, this isn’t The Notebook.  Just sayin……

5.  I have a small favor to ask.  Amongst other things – Scrabble, Turkish Get-Ups, and small using prime examples – I suck at anything related to Excel.  It’s Greek to me, and I just don’t have the time to read Excel for Idiots. 

I’m looking to revamp a few things that I use Excel for, and I’d be willing to trade-barter with anyone who’s willing to offer up a little help.  Basically, in exchange for helping me out, I’d be willing to write a program (or two).  I may not know Excel, but I do know how to make people diesel.

So, if there’s anyone out there who’d be interested, shoot me an email and I can go into a little more detail.

Thanks!

 

Below is a link to my latest article on Livestrong.com.  While some may bicker that I didn’t take the “traditional” approach with regards to the topic (Note:  there’s no bro-science involved), I hope the overall message is clear:  you need to train big, to get big.

Enjoy!

 

Hypertrophy. Jacked. Ripped. Diesel. Project Swolification. Whatever your preferred descriptor phrase or word of choice, adding appreciable size in the form of muscle mass is at the top of most trainees’ goals list.

Certainly there are health benefits to consistently lifting weights and increasing muscle mass — improved bone health and density, improved immune function, increased energy, reduced risk of injury, improved insulin sensitivity and a vast decrease in the incidence of metabolic syndrome, just to name a few. But at the end of the day, what really matters for many trainees is being able to walk down the street in a medium T-shirt on and know they look yoked, with large, protruding muscles.

The problem is that while having biceps the size of Kansas and a chest that can deflect bullets are common goals for most guys — and quite a few girls too — many will never come close to achieving “the look.”
Even if that’s exactly what happened to you in the past, it doesn’t have to happen again. Once you learn how to overcome the common sticking points, you can bust through and start building serious muscle.

Continue reading…….

Note:  for some reason, the article itself is a bit “glitchy.”  There should have been a sample 4-week training template included, so hopefully that will be fixed shortly.  Sorry!

^ No really, see!

This past Sunday, Lisa and I woke up with nothing particular to do.  As is the case every week, Sundays tend to be my day to “catch up on life.”  Which is just another fancy way of saying:  grocery shopping, spending time with Lisa, and, if I’m lucky, taking a power nap (or two).

Since we hit off Trader Joe’s the day prior, and there was nothing really on the agenda, we both decided to meet up with a few of her friends for brunch in Boston’s South End.

As you can surmise, it wasn’t like Lisa had to pull my arm to tag along.  I love brunch and Lisa was paying (Score!), so I grabbed a pair of jeans, slapped on a t-shirt, and off we went to this place that her friend, Carolyn, has always raved about, Gaslight.

Okay, this is the part where you can cue the Jaws theme music.

For the record, I LOVE Lisa’s friends.  You’d be hard pressed to find a more intelligent and otherwise beautiful group of women in Beantown.  I mean, come on….it doesn’t take a genius to recognize that I looked totally baller walking in with a group of fashionistas around my arms.

That notwithstanding, as any warm-blooded, heavy lifting, meat loving, Baywatch re-run watching, private area scratching, Fantasy Football obsessing male can appreciate:  there’s only so much you can take before you basically want to throw yourself in front of a bus.

It took all of about three minutes from the time we walked into the restaurant until we sat down that the conversation turned from “hey Tony, how have you been” to the girls talking about boutique shopping, pedicures, and kitten snuggles.

Okay, it wasn’t quite like that; I’m obviously exaggerating for dramatic effect…but suffice it to say, I could sense my t-levels dropping faster than Obama’s approval rating.  Badda bing, badda boom – Count it!

Anyways, by the time the waiter came to take our orders, I was in dire need of something manly to happen.  And, since it was abundantly clear that this was the type of establishment that would probably frown upon me busting out my nun chucks, I did the next best thing, and ordered an omelet.  But not just any omelet – a DOUBLE order omelet.

The conversation went something like this:

Me:  I’d like the roasted vegetable and feta omelet, but I have a quick question – how many eggs are used?

Waiter:  I believe three.

Me:  Hmmm, yeah, I better double that order (giving myself a high five in my head).

Waiter (with a look of utter shock):  Okay.  I hope you’ll be able to finish it!

Me:  Nah, I eat that every day for breakfast, it’s not that big of a deal.

Awkward silence.  Waiter walks away.

Me:  Wait, can you bring some Grey Poupon…….oh, never mind.

Fifteen minutes later, our food arrives.  While the omelet itself WAS ginormous – taking up half the plate – it wasn’t anything out of the ordinary, considering my typical breakfast that I eat everyday.

Get this, though.  About ten minutes later, the hostess approaches our table and asks me if everything is alright.  “Perfect,” I said, “thank you.”

“Well,” she continued, “the chef wanted me to say how impressed he was.  He’s never been asked to make such a big omelet, and he wanted to make sure that it came out satisfactorily.  Also, he wanted me to give you this t-shirt (pictured above).”  In case you don’t remember, it looks like this:

I just about spat up my fruit cup.  Lisa, along with the rest of the crew, started laughing out loud.  Don’t get me wrong, it was awesome, but really?  A t-shirt for only eating SIX eggs?  I thanked the hostess, told her to tell the chef that it was excellent, and that I appreciated the sentiment.

Lets think about this for a second, because this is actually a very interesting commentary on our society.  I did the math, and concluded that six eggs (at 70 calories apiece) amounts to roughly 420 calories.  No big deal, and definitely not stomach shattering by any stretch of the imagination – especially considering I’m a pretty well built guy, seemingly whose pecs deflects bullets, at 200+ lbs.

Hell, the pile of greased soaked fries that my meal came with – which I elected not to eat – probably doubled (if not tripled) that number.  The heaping stack of French toast that Lisa’s petite best friend, Carolyn ordered easily trumped my eggs in caloric value.

Yet, no t-shirt for her.

Isn’t it funny, if not downright comical, that our society’s perspective on what is considered “gluttonous,” and as a result, warrants a t-shirt, has gotten to the point where a guy walks in and orders six eggs and everyone’s world is flipped upside down?   Yet, the breakfast quesadilla the size of a frisbee that’s filled with nothing but processed flour, sugar, and other “gunk” doesn’t even make anyone blink an eye.  Thoughts?  Comments?  Beuller?  Bueller?