CategoriesStuff to Read While You're Pretending to Work

Stuff to Read While You’re Pretending to Work: 2/7/20

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BUT FIRST…I’M LIKE, REALLY, REALLY IMPORTANT

(Things I’ve appeared in, places I’m going, you know, important stuff)

1. (Even More) Complete Shoulder & Hip Blueprint – Athens, Greece: Saturday, Feb 29th & Sunday, March 1st, 2020

It’s official: This marks the sixth year in a row Dean Somerset and I are presenting together. We’re so excited to be coming to Athens to kickstart 2020.

2. Coaching Competency Workshop – London, UK: Sunday, March 8, 2020

3. Strategic Strength Workshop – Detroit, MI: April 5, 2020

This will be my first ever workshop in the region!

I’m expecting ticker tape parades.

4. Strategic Strength Workshop – Washington, DC: May 17, 2020

SOCIAL MEDIA SHENANIGANS

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STUFF TO READ WHILE YOU’RE PRETENDING TO WORK

Supported Strength – Dominate Single Leg Strength – Brandon Holder

I’ve been implementing “supported” single leg work with a lot of my programs of late; especially with regards to  building muscle.

This article explains the benefits and demonstrates a few options to consider.

Core Exercises You’re Not Doing – Andrew Millett

No crunches were harmed in the writing of this article.

“Core training,” in a way, is everything.

How to Answer the Most Common Nutrition Questions Like a Boss – John Berardi & Brian St. Pierre

If you’re a coach/trainer you’ll want to keep this cheat sheet nearby…;o)

CategoriesStuff to Read While You're Pretending to Work

Stuff to Read While You’re Pretending to Work: 4/19/19

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BUT FIRST…CHECK THIS STUFF OUT

1. (Even More) Complete Shoulder & Hip Blueprint – 2019 Locations & Dates

Philadelphia, PA: April 27-28th (<– Next weekend, always room for more).

Edmonton, Alberta, Canada: May 25-26th

Sydney, Australia: July 13-14th

Melbourne, Australia: July 19-21st (<—  Includes bonus “Psych Skills for Fitness Pros” pre-workshop with Dr. Lisa Lewis).

This workshop will piggyback on the material Dean Somerset and I covered in the original Complete Shoulder & Hip Blueprint.

With this iteration, though, we’ll be going a bit deeper into the coaching and programming side of things:

  • How to program around common injuries.
  • How to “connect” the appropriate exercises to the client/athlete.
  • How to really add value with your assessment process.
  • How to squat and deadlift like a boss.

Find out more details HERE.

2. Strategic Strength Workshop – Boston, MA

NOTE: Early Bird rate for this event is $100 OFF the regular price and the deadline is only  a few weeks away.

Luke and I did this workshop last summer in London and figured it’s only fair to bring it State side.

Combined we have 30+ years of coaching experience (I.e., one Mike Boyle or Dan John) and this workshop will be two days where we uncover every nook and cranny as it relates to how we assess our clients/athletes and how we best prepare them for the rigors of every day life/sport.

This will be a unique opportunity for people to learn from myself, but especially Luke, who is one of the best and brightest coaches I know. This will be his first time teaching in the States.

For more information and to register you can go HERE.

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Heaviest pull in about two months. . 550×1. . There is no spoon.

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STUFF TO READ WHILE YOU’RE PRETENDING TO WORK

Create the Perfect Meal – Dr. John Berardi

It’s no secret that a well-balanced meal (typically, not always) contains the “big 3″….protein, carbohydrates, and fat. But how much of each should you eat? More importantly, how do you take all three and go about conjuring up a meal that doesn’t taste like cardboard box sprinkled with sawdust?

Thankfully the people over at Precision Nutrition made a nifty infographic to make things easier.

10 Overcomplicated Things Trainers Say – Nick Tumminello

“Think trainer, speak client.”

Do You Find a Way, or Find a Way Out?  – Tony Bonvechio

Why do a herd of buffalo run TOWARDS a storm rather than away from it?

You need to be more like a buffalo.

CategoriesStuff to Read While You're Pretending to Work

Stuff to Read While You’re Pretending to Work: 8/24/18

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BUT FIRST…CHECK THIS STUFF OUT

1. (Even More) Complete Shoulder & Hip Blueprint – Houston, TX

This workshop will piggyback on the material Dean Somerset and I covered in the original Complete Shoulder & Hip Blueprint.

But now.

BUT NOW……

….It’s the (Even More) Complete Shoulder & Hip Blueprint.

A bunch of wordsmiths we are.

With this iteration, though, we’ll be going a bit deeper into the coaching and programming side of things:

  • How to program around common injuries.
  • How to “connect” the appropriate exercises to the client/athlete.
  • How to squat and deadlift like a boss.

All registrants to this course (as well as future dates in Ljubljana, Slovenia, Los Angeles, Detroit, Philadelphia, Minas Tirith) will receive a free download of CSHB 1.0 so that you’re up-to-speed on the content Dean and I will be covering.

To register and for moe details go HERE.

2. RISE Fitness Business Conference – San Jose, CA

I’ve had to decline speaking at this event in the past due to prior engagements1, but I’m headed to San Jose this year baby.

And I…..am…..pumped.

I’ve never been to the Bay area so I’m excited for that. But I’m even more excited for the THREEdays of melt your face knowledge that’ll be under one roof.

The line-up is spectacular and I’m honored to be included amongst such esteemed company – Pat Rigsby, Mark Fisher, Molly Galbraith, Kellie Hart, Craig Ballantyne, and Scott Rawcliffe, to name a few.

I’ll be speaking about shoulder assessment.

If you’re a fitness professional looking to take his or her’s career to the next level this is an event you won’t want to miss.

Full details and registration are HERE.

SOCIAL MEDIA SHENANIGANS

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Instagram – 30 Days of Deadlifts

I’m a week into my series “30 Days of Deadlifts.”

This was the video that kicked things off.

Plenty more to come so be sure to follow or check in on me over in IG world.

STUFF TO READ WHILE YOU’RE PRETENDING TO WORK

Key to Career Success – Dr. John Berardi

John first started writing for T-Nation back in the early 2000’s and eventually started Precision Nutrition which is now a 200 million dollar company and one of the most respected entities in the industry.

How?

How did he do it?

Was there some secret morning ritual, a daily hack, or maybe he cut a deal with Rumplestiltskin?

None of the above, actually.

As always John keeps it real and provides a ton of practical insights.

Building a Successful Career: Positioning and Intent – Dean Somerset

Not to steal any light from the first article, but this was also a fantastic read from my brother of another mother, Dean Somerset.

In short:

1. Put in the work.

2. Leverage your strengths.

3. Dean and I are non-sexual life partners.

5 Years of Insane Gains – Paul Carter

Why couldn’t have Paul written this back in 1993?

Why?

Whhhhhhhhhhhhhyyyyy?

This is a MUST read for anyone newbies out there reading.

CategoriesStuff to Read While You're Pretending to Work

Stuff To Read While You’re Pretending To Work: 2/9/18

It’s Friday. You don’t want to work. Here’s some stuff to keep you preoccupied until it’s time to get out of dodge.

Copyright: donatas1205 / 123RF Stock Photo

BUT FIRST…(SPEAKING ENGAGEMENTS, STUFF I’VE WRITTEN, & OTHER TIDBITS CURATED TO SHOWCASE HOW IMPORTANT I AM)

1) The Fitness Summit

I had to take a break from The Fitness Summit last year for two reasons:

1. Eating way too many cookies.

2. But mostly because I succeeded in making a baby and my wife would have tossed me so much shade if I was all like “Hey Babe, going to KC for three days. Toodles.”

Well this year I’m back and excited to take part in a Fitness Summit first. Dean Somerset and I will be putting on a Pre-Conference day where we’ll spend a few hours test driving some new material as a follow-up to our Complete Shoulder & Hip Blueprint.

Tentatively titled The More Completer Hip & Shoulder Blueprint.

We’ll be taking deep dive into squat and deadlift technique: discussing ankle, foot, hip and upper extremity considerations in conjunction with regressions/progressions and programming. Whether you’re a coach or just someone who likes to lift heavy things you’ll undoubtedly learn something. And if not, cool, you still get to hang out with us for a few hours.

Registration is now open for returning and new attendees. Come experience one of the best fitness events of the year.

2) Spurling Spring Seminar

I’m excited to announce that both myself and my wife, Dr. Lisa Lewis, will be presenting at the inaugural Spurling Spring Seminar at Spurling Fitness in Kennebunk, ME in a few months.

If you live in New England and you’re a fitness professional you won’t want to miss it. Early bird special is currently in effect.1

Stuff To Read While You’re Pretending To Work

What’s the Best Diet? – Dr. John Berardi

This FREE multi-day course by John Berardi will help give coaches the knowledge and resources necessary to help their clients decide what the best diet is for them…

…whether Paleo, ketogenic, low-carb, high-carb, intermittent fasting, or the all cold cereal diet (<—not a thing, but it should be)

And even if you’re not a coach it’ll help make the waters less murky on the topic of diet and nutrition and what may be the best fit for YOU and YOUR goals.

All you have to do is offer your email and you’ll get instant access. Don’t worry, John won’t spam you. Because, he’s not a dick.

Single-Leg Training Tips From the Pros – BarbellPilates.com

Women in particular can benefit a lot from single-leg work, and for some, it’s likely better than their bilateral cousins. Why?

Well, read the article – which I contributed to – and find out.

Shoulder Impingement – Dan Pope

Dan went TO TOWN with this epic 7-part series on shoulder impingement. It’s one of the best I have ever read on the topic.

The link above takes you to the last part of the series (but the links to all the previous parts, 1-6, are right at the top).

Be sure to check out his resource, Peak Shoulder Performance.

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CategoriesStuff to Read While You're Pretending to Work Uncategorized

Stuff To Read While You’re Pretending To Work: 11/10/17

I’ve got a busy and exciting weekend coming up. First off I’m gonna head to the gym shortly after pressing “publish” on this post, go deadlift my face off, and follow-suit with my weekly visit to my favorite pizza place here in Boston – Upper Crust.

Later on I’ll head to the airport to pick my boy Dean Somerset. We’re both teaching the Complete Shoulder & Hip Blueprint to a sold out crowd at AMP Fitness this weekend. It’ll be bitter-sweet because after 20+ times teaching it across the world (LA, Seattle, London, Prague, Oslo, Minneapolis, Vancouver), it’s likely our last “planned” presentation of the course.

We’ll be sad to turn the page, but we’re excited to drum up a new curriculum.1

Lets get to this week’s list.

Copyright: gregorylee / 123RF Stock Photo

But First

1) Looking For Strong MOFo’s

Earlier this week Bryan Krahn and I announced we’re looking for people to beta-test our Strong MOFo program.

MOFo = Man Over Forty.

You can read all about it HERE.

Of, if you prefer the Cliff Notes version: if you’re a 35+ (man or woman) and looking to follow a 4-month program that’s designed to get you strong, maybe get you a better bicep peak, not kill you, and take into account you’re not 25 anymore (and written be two competent coaches) it may be right up your alley.

Direct link HERE.

2) BarBend.com Interview: Training Over 40 and Deadlifts

I was asked by the peeps over at BarBend.com to talk about training over 40 (catching a theme here?) and you know anytime I start talking about lifting things the conversation will gravitate towards deadlifts.

But we also talked about women and chin-up training too.

You can check it out HERE.

3) Latest Men’s Health Article

Men’s Health asked me to comment on what would make most guy’s pecs more “pecy.” HERE’s what I had to some on the topic.

Stuff To Read While You’re Pretending To Work

25 Ways to Eat Well On the Go – Dr. John Berardi

I work with a lot of clients who are on the go and travel a ton for their work. This infographic is going to save me a TON of time.

6 Reasons You Should Never Open Up a Gym – John Romano

Admittedly it’s a liiiiiiiitle bit negative for my tastes in some parts, but as a gym owner myself I was shaking my head in agreement a lot as I was reading this.

30 Thoughts on Life, Strength & Conditioning, and Business – Erica Suter

I always enjoy reading these types of “reflection” posts from coaches. I find they’re often more “raw” and candid writing in this format.

I mean, you have to respect any business tip that says “drink coffee and pretend you know what you’re doing.” Hahahahaha. So true.

Social Media Shenanigans

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CategoriesStuff to Read While You're Pretending to Work Uncategorized

Stuff to Read While You’re Pretending to Work: 8/11/17

As you’re reading this I’m likely 35,000 feet in the air making my way back from Florida to Boston. What’s also likely is Lisa and I trying not to destroy the back of our pants juggling a 6-month old lap to lap in an effort to keep him at bay and not terrorize the rest of the passengers.

Knowing today was going to be a wash in terms of productivity I planned a head and prepped this week’s list of stuff to read a day early.

Lets get to it.

Copyright: epokrovsky / 123RF Stock Photo

 

Check This Stuff Out First

1) Complete Shoulder & Hip Blueprint – Orlando

There’s only less than three weeks left to take advantage of the Early Bird rate for Dean Somerset and I’s workshop in Orlando, at Spark Fitness, the weekend of October 21st.

I’ve never been to Orlando. I bet it’s going to be beautiful in October. Yet, there’s no way in hell I’m visiting Disney World.1

You can go HERE for more details and to sign up.

HEADS UP: We’ve also added Boston into the mix later this year. Not Burlington Boston or Beverly Boston, two cities that are lovely, albeit not (that) close to Boston.

No, this is IN Boston. In the heart of the city Boston, at AMP Fitness.

Early bird rate is in effect now and if you’re super eager to sign-up you can go HERE.

2) Elite Fitness & Performance Summit – Chicago

 

I’ll be in Chicago this September alongside some other phenomenal speakers for the Elite Fitness & Performance Summit. The cast includes:

  • Nick Tumminello
  • Mark Fisher (if I have to follow him on stage I’m going to be pissed)
  • Josh Henkin
  • Nick Berry
  • Molly Galbraith
  • Krista Scott-Dixon
  • Ryan Ketchum

And many, many more.  It’s one of the most action-packed fitness events of the year, so be sure to reserve your seat ASAP.

Stuff To Read

Precision Nutrition ‘Hot Topic’ Report – John Berardi

I trust the people over at Precision Nutrition implicitly. If there’s ever a topic on nutrition I’m curious about or if a client has questions I almost always defer to them.

Today’s nutrition climate is sooooooo confusing and dichotomous. Who’s right? Who’s wrong? It’s sometimes hard to ascertain if something is BS or legit.

Well, PN (or, more specifically, the legend himself, John Berardi) just released this awesome, FREE, multi-day mini-course covering nutrition “hot topics” like whether grains are good/bad for you, the good and bad detoxes, whether you should be worried about GMOs, the facts about post-workout nutrition, nutrient timing, calorie counting, and, like, do unicorn tears really increase protein synthesis by 119%?

All the important stuff is covered.

The Best Fat Loss Article On the Motherfuckin’ Internet – Aadam Ali

There’s a kid-friendly link somewhere on the internet that refers to this as the “Best Fat Loss Article on the Motherlovin‘ Internet.”

Fuck that.

This.

THIS ladies and gents is what it means to write with infotainment in mind.

Tony Was a Weirdo, So Mark Started a Gym – Pete Dupuis

True story:

Pete sent me an email last night saying:

You okay with me publishing the following tomorrow? Don’t want to overstep, so asking first.”

I then proceeded to read the greatest piece of literature ever written.2

I wrote back:

“I got teary eyed reading that. Please, publish that motherfucker.”

Thanks Pete (and Mark). That meant a lot to me.3

Social Media Shenanigans

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I love this slide on scapular winging. Mostly because I look jacked, but also because it’s a term that’s vomited out there by personal trainers & coaches without much thought. Dr. @quinn.henochdpt notes that while it is a thing (congruence between the rib cage and shoulder blade)…REAL scapular winging is a medical diagnosis where the Long Thoracic Nerve fails at innervating the serratus anterior. Much of the time what’s “diagnosed” as scapular winging isn’t really much of anything and nothing more than a lack of tension and motor control that can be addressed rather easily. In this pic I’m using a ground based movement first, a side lying bottoms up kettlebell swivel and press, to teach context of tension and CONTROL of movement. No scapular winging. Weird. Stop tossing out words and terms that likely don’t mean anything and giving everyone the sense they’re broken. They’re not. They (probably) don’t need 37 different corrective exercises to fix their winging. They just need to learn how to do a push up correctly or something.

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Categoriespodcast Stuff to Read While You're Pretending to Work

Stuff To Read While You’re Pretending To Work: 9/2/16

Note from TG: be sure to scroll all the way down for some bonus material.

Wow – it’s September already. It’s Labor Day weekend here in the States, which means summer is more or less over, and so is any chance of me getting a sick tan this year. Noooo.

There’s no sense whining about it. It is what it is. Lets jump right into this week’s list of stuff to read.

34178802 - books on a dark background

Copyright: donatas1205 / 123RF Stock Photo

A quick reminder that Dean Somerset and I will be hosting our last LIVE event together of 2016 next month (weekend of October 15th) in Minneapolis, MN.

The stellar folks at Movement Minneapolis were kind enough to offer their four walls to host our Complete Shoulder & Hip Workshop. You can check out all the details along with sign-up information HERE.

Also, speaking of the workshop, Dean and I filmed it last Spring over in Norway and are planning on releasing it as an 11+ hour digital product titled the Complete Shoulder & Hip Blueprint in the next coming weeks. Catchy title, right?1

 

We’d still highly recommend attending a live event if you ever get the chance to do so; each one is always a little different and nuanced. However, the likelihood Dean and I will ever travel to North Platte, Nebraska or, I don’t know, the country of Moldova is slim. No offense North Platteians, I’m sure it’s a lovely place to visit.

Filming the event and making it into a digital product is going to get our information into more hands, which is kind of the point: we want to help more fitness professionals do a better job at assessment and writing effective programs, as well as helping non-fitness professionals better understand anatomy and exercise technique.

Get ready people: it’s coming.

Muscle Confusion Is Mostly a Myth – Brad Stulberg

I love, love, LOVE that this kind of information is starting to “bleed” into the mainstream media. I also love that names like Brett Bartholomew and Vern Gambetta – two highly respected strength coaches used in this story – are the go to sources.

Next time someone tells you how they need to “mix things up in the gym to keep the body guessing”…

  • Roll your eyes
  • Tell them the reason why nothing never works for them is because 1) they’re probably not working nearly as hard enough as they think they’re working and 2) adherence (and allowing enough time for something to stick) is going to trump any “muscle confusion” protocol.
  • Show them this article.

The Online Training Bullshit Detector – Eric Bach

Sure, you can train clients online. But should you?

That’s the question Eric Bach poses in this nifty article. Yes, I just used the word nifty.

Surviving the Dr. Oz Diet (and other fad advice) – Dr. John Berardi

I really liked this article by Dr. Berardi, and not for the reasons you might suspect. It DOES NOT shit on Dr. Oz (which, frankly, is easy to do).

Rather, it’s about learning how to better coach your clients, and how to best set them up for success and weed through the crowded fad diet bonanza.

BONUS

My good friend Mike Robertson invited me onto his phenomenal Physical Preparation Podcast earlier this week. Mike’s a big deal and one of the coaches I look up to most. His podcast is also one of the most informative ones out there and I never miss listening to it myself.

I was honored to be invited on, especially considering the caliber of coaches who have appeared prior to myself. I mean, who the eff am I?

We had a blast catching up and discussing everything from assessment, a typical training session, CORE, and of course, my cat.

LISTEN HERE.

CategoriesStuff to Read While You're Pretending to Work

Stuff to Read While You’re Pretending to Work: 11/14/14

A week from today I’ll be on my way out to sunny California. I’ve never been to California. In fact, the furthest west I’ve ever been (in the States at least) is Las Vegas, twice.

I’m making the trek to Los Angeles next weekend for mine and Dean Somerset’s Excellent High Five Workshop. I know it seems like a week doesn’t go by where I don’t say something about our workshop, so some of you will be happy to know that this is the last stop in 2014 for the Dean and Tony show.

What can I say?  We’re in demand!

We’ve been through the east coast (Boston, DC), given Canada some love (Edmonton), and we’ve also gone international stepping off of North America to Europe (London), that we figured it was high-time to give the West coast peeps some action.

Don’t worry South – we may be coming to your neck of the woods in 2015!  Think: Austin, TX. I’ll be so pumped if that happens!

I’m really looking forward to next weekend’s trip though. So much so that I’ve been foregoing my usual West-Coast rap boycott and playing more Dre, Pharcyde, Masta Ace, and The Alkaholiks at the facility this week.

We have an awesome two-days planned with some cameo appearances from a handful of “fitness celebrities” sprinkled in for good measure. Spots are still available if you’re interested. Go HERE for more information.

How to Fix a Broken Diet – Dr. John Berardi

Nutrition has been and always will be the one bottleneck for most people. It’s the nature of the beast for many people to overanalyze and pontificate over the most minute things.

“Should I eat 1.1 grams of protein per body weight or 1.2 grams?”

“Carbs are bad. Apples have carbs. Hence, apples are making me fat!”

“Tomatoes are a fruit. Pizza has tomato sauce. Pizza is like eating fruit!”

Likewise, there are a million and one buzzwords that the industry uses to allure and entice people into a mindset:

“If your grandmother wouldn’t recognize the ingredients, then do eat it.”

“Only eat whole foods.”

It’s no surprise people are more confused than ever as to what they should and should not be eating. Dr. Berardi attempts to be a voice of reason with this excellent article.

 How to Lose – Jen Sinkler

I’m a Jen Sinkler fan (but really who isn’t?) I’d argue there’s no one in the industry who’s as well-rounded and open minded as she is.

Name someone else who’s not only an ex professional athlete but who has also dabbled in CrossFit, tumbling, Olympic lifting, Strongman training, kettlebells, AND Powerlifting?

I wouldn’t be half surprised if Jen said she’s going to run for President, be the first person to walk on Mars AND that she’s Wonder Woman.

She’s awesome. And this article is awesome.

10 Rules of the Insanely Strong – Matt Kroc

Need a little motivation to lift heavy things today?  Read this.

You’re welcome.

CategoriesUncategorized

I Can’t Gain Weight – Help!

Oh boy. I can only imagine how some people who, upon reading the headline to this post (and are feverishly trying to lose weight), already dislike the person who submitted this question.

Waaaaaaa, poor you!  You have to eat more food. I haven’t eaten a carb since Christmas……cry me a river! 

As a strength coach, however, and someone who works with high-school and college athletes on a daily basis, I can tell you that struggling to gain weight (in an effort to improve performance on the field) is an all too common dilemma, and something that can just be as hard to resolve.

Which is why I felt I’d spend a little time addressing the topic here after receiving the following email in the Cressey Performance account recently.

Q: I’m 5’11 and weigh 150lbs. Last season I weighed 175 and then lost all of it because we ran so much, and ended the season weighing 135 lbs. That was a crisis for me. I have done the same exact thing as I did before but can’t seem to gain the weight back! Help me dude it’s killing me!

But I also have another question, and that is, would it hurt me to take half doses of creatine just to get a little bit bigger? 

A: Wow, that’s a pretty drastic drop in weight! First off, every time I hear a story of a baseball coach running his players into the ground I want to set my face on fire.

What’s the rationale?  What’s the longest distance that a baseball player will need to run?  It’s 90 feet from home plate to first base.  If someone rounded the bases that’s 360 feet.  Where does a 3-5 mile jog fit into the picture?  How does that prepare a player for the more explosive nature of the sport?

HINT:  it doesn’t!

Eric Cressey already chastised this sacred cow and explained why distance running really has no place in the sport HERE and HERE, so I won’t kick a horse when it’s down.

That said:

1.  Two points for Gryffindor for including not one, but two idioms in one sentence!

2.  Please stop running (for distance, anyways), if you haven’t already.

3. Maybe show the above articles to your coach, and he’ll have a change of heart….;o)

Looking at the positives, you’re already 15 lbs up, so you’re obviously doing something right.  But if there’s one piece of advice I can give you, it’s this:

You Need To Eat More

I know, I know – you eat, like, all the time.  And you couldn’t possibly eat any more.  I’ve heard that same excuse a few thousand times, and I’m sure I’ll hear it a thousand more.

Take my word for it: you’re not eating enough.

But before we get into that, lets address the more pertinent question: Creatine isn’t dangerous.  It’s the most researched supplement in human history, it works, there’s a ton of efficacy towards its use, and I’d highly encourage you to check out THIS review by the guys over at Examine.com for all the information you’ll ever need on the topic.

But, it’s not what you need nor should it be at the top of your list of priorties.  Not even close.

I’ve trumpeted this sentiment before, and I might as well say it again:

Supplements are progress enhancers, not progress starters.

If your current training and nutrition plan(s) aren’t yielding the results you want, than a supplement isn’t really the right approach. More to the point, the word supplement shouldn’t even reach the tip of your tongue until you have your nutrition in order.

You need CALORIES to grow.  If you’re not providing the body the ample nutrients it needs to not only grow, but recover, you’re just going to be spinning your wheels and wondering why you look like that skinny dude from Road Trip – and you’re certainly not going to be hitting any 400 ft bombs over the centerfield fence.

[Giving credit where credit is due, at least he’s pwning some pancakes in that picture].

Here’s a quick quiz, and one of the first questions I’ll always ask an athlete who’s trying to put on weight:

What did you have for breakfast this morning?

9 times out of 10 I get a stammering answer that consists of a lot of “um’s” and uh’s” and every excuse in the book as to why they never have time to eat in the morning.

If you’re not eating breakfast, then again, you have no business asking about creatine, and you sure as heck-fire better start setting your alarm ten minutes earlier in the morning to MAKE TIME to eat breakfast.

As an example, here’s my typical breakfast that I eat every morning.

5 whole egg omelet with goat cheese and tons of cut up veggies (onion, broccoli, and sun-dried tomato) sprinkled with garlic powder, pepper, turmeric, and oregano.

1 cup oatmeal plue a scoop of Biotest Grow with a banana and cinnamon.

Save for maybe your post-training meal, breakfast should be your largest meal of the day.  But you can’t stop there!  One of the biggest mistakes I see guys make is that if they do eat breakfast (high five!), they’ll maybe nibble at lunch, and won’t eat another decent meal again until mom plops something on the dinner table.

If you can, try to stash some extra calories in your locker like beef jerky, nuts, fruit, or even better – and an idea I stole from John Berardi – several bagels with some peanut butter slapped between each side which you can easily crush while walking to your next class.

Some other food for thought (pun completely intended):

1.  Try your best to focus on whole, natural, un-processed foods like rice, potatoes (sweet and white), oatmeal, veggies, fruit, beef, chicken, fish, cheese, milk, various nuts, unicorn tears, you name it.

Of course if you have good allergies you have to take that into consideration, but don’t use the excuse of “dude, I’m bulking” as a free-pass to eat shitty food like pizza, chips, and Pop-Tarts on a regular basis.

Be a teenager, I’m not saying to avoid those types of foods at all costs, but at the same time need to take it upon yourself to provide you body with QUALITY nutrients.  In short:  eat like a grown-up.

2.  Stay hydrated!!!!!  Drink water, and lots of it.   A good rule of thumb I like to follow is to take half our bodyweight and drink that amount in ounces.  So, if you weight 150 lbs, you should strive for roughly 75 ounces of water per day.  And that’s just the minimum!  More active people should drink more.

Oh, and Red Bull isn’t water.

3.  While it sounds hypocritical given my speech above, it might not be a bad idea to look into getting a protein powder to include in the mix.  Hard gainers often have a hard time EATING their calories, and it’s sometimes easier to drink them.  Don’t worry about getting Ultra Mass Gainer 3000 or anything like that.  Just look for your typical whey protein blend, and you’re fine.

4.  In the weight room, you need to make sure you’re focusing on those movements which will force you to grow!  Drop the leg extensions and bicep curls and opt for deadlifts, squats, chin-ups, rows, etc. Focus on getting stronger and not training like a bodybuilder.

5.  Additionally, it’s important that you don’t go too crazy with the volume.  You need to save your calories.  While I can respect those who want to get after it on a daily basis, heading to the gym to perform those two hour marathon sessions isn’t doing you any favors.  For guys who are looking to add weight I generally opt for LESS volume and strive for three, full-body weight training sessions per week.

6.  In terms of an actual caloric number to shoot for, it’s anyone’s guess as to where the magic number is for you.  For simplicity’s sake I like to tell guys to start with 20% ABOVE maintenance levels.

To find maintenance, take your current bodyweight and multiply by 15.  So, for a 150 lb person, they’d want to strive for 20% ABOVE 2,250 kcals per day – which would be +450 kcals above maintenance.

Just so we’re clear:  this is a GENERAL number to hit and only serves as a starting point.

7. Likewise, keep calories up even on “off” days. Another mistake a lot of guys when trying to gain weight is lowering caloric intake on non-training days.  DON’T DO THIS!!!!!  Keep calories on par with your training days, and if by some chance you notice you’re putting on a little too much fat for your liking, just lower intake slightly – by like 10%.

8.  Did I mention you need to eat a lot?

9.  You need to eat a lot.

I know you (and many others) are trying to look for the magic pill and that my advice isn’t remotely sexy or mind-blowing.  It doesn’t have to be.

Oftentimes keeping things simple is the better way to go.

Now go eat!